Author: Kintexu2
Description: The Firefly cast stumble upon Equestria and get stranded andMy Little Firefly: Out In Equestria
separated from each other when the ship crash lands.
Additional Tags: Firefly collides with the Ponies.
-
[Crossover] Firefly Crossover!
Author: Kintexu2
Additional Tags: Firefly collides with the Ponies.
Sildid: Author: Kintexu2, Crossover, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Everypony, Fanfiction, Human, Incomplete, Other, Star-3, StoryShare This!
Tellimine:
Postituse kommentaarid (Atom)
66 kommentaari:
OH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
OH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
OH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
Huuunnrh?
VastaKustutaI am once again stunned by the capacity for crossover of this fandom.
I didn't really like the show all that much, but I loved the movie. I'll give this a good look. :P
OH Good FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
(I'm doing this right, right?)
can someone tell me exactly what this is a crossover of?
VastaKustutaFIREFLY!!!!
VastaKustuta@Anonymous Firefly was a short lived Science Fiction show that has spawned an enormous fanbase. The show was canceled after season 1, but due to fan requests the cast got together to finish the story with a movie a few years after the cancellation.
VastaKustutaOH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
(see above)
the lack of a human tag disturbs me
VastaKustutaI can kill you with my brain.
VastaKustutaThe awesomeness of this crossover startled me. Loving the concept and can't wait for more.
VastaKustutaGood start! Although I'm surprised at how well they're taking being turned into ponies... especially Jayne.
VastaKustutaHOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT!!!!!!!11111111
VastaKustutaSQUEEEEEEE I READ IT IN THEIR VOICES
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutagreat concept hope for some more updates soon
VastaKustuta@Wanderer D This is my first time ever writing fanfics (I thought i had asked for a first time tag up there, oh well, looks like I forgot), so character advancement isn't exactly my strong suit. Trying to get better at it before I start chapter 2 heavily. Doesn't help that some of the Firefly characters, like Jayne and Zoe, are harder to write than I expected.
VastaKustutaOkay. Point of order. I will PAY SOMEONE to draw the crew as ponies.
VastaKustutaCan't read this until tomorrow so....please let this be good, please let this be good!
VastaKustutaThe writing style was a tad odd and I believe the fact they all took being turned into ponies so well was OOC, but I love a good crossover.
VastaKustutaTeher is not enough yes in the world.
VastaKustuta@Kintexu2 Well, don't worry too much! The story itself is just starting so you have time to explore the characters through introspection and such if you want.
VastaKustutaAnyway, although they took it in stride I think you nailed Jayne's personality at the end of it for sure, so you're well on your way!
I'll be keeping an eye for more chapters!
OH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
@La Barata
VastaKustuta*falls over*
Uhm. I... uh... Am having difficulty talking. Heh. I love that idea. Let me get my act together and see what I can do.
ending to chapter one was stupid crazy funny
VastaKustutaCouldn't get past the first page. The concept is interesting, but the writing is flat, lifeless; it reads more like a rote retelling of a story than a story itself. A dedicated second draft could probably flesh it out, but as it is now it has all the color of a grocery list. It takes more than a rote listing of events to capture the atmosphere of either story world.
VastaKustutaOH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
FIREFLY!!!!
VastaKustutaInstant mus---- crap. Ninjad by an anon.
So unanimous, the comments are.
VastaKustutaWhat RealityCheck said.
VastaKustuta{SPOILERS}
The scenes where they figure out they are ponies are terribly awkward to read; they're stilted and lacking in verisimilitude. There is a lot of telling and not enough showings. I am facehoofing so hard at some of the sentences. Wash's scene in particular.
The ease of which, the crew acclimates really kills the immersion for me.
Your description of Dash is accurate and curt. And utterly fails to bring the most vibrant character in the series to life. I know who it is because you told me, not because I was shown.
There is an absolute TON of event lists: This happened, then this happened. After that, this happened.
The way they all zero in on their cutie marks is odd, to say the least.
I did really like: "This could either turn out bad, or really bad."
A revised version--where you take it to midnight's ponychan thread--would make this MUCH more readable.
OOC often. One thing I noticed is that when Jayne noticed his mane he laughed. I think he'd admire the manliness of it or something... The cutie marks that have to do with Serenity are funny in a bad way. It would be better as some metaphor or generalization on their talent (wash with wings on stars), except perhaps Mal. I just notice small stuff. This fanfic needed to be done though, and the plot isn't bad. I hope you have an outline for were it will go later, that helps a lot to make a great story.
VastaKustuta....
VastaKustutaMLP:FiM meets firefly....
SHINY!!!!!!!!!!
Der Buddha, please give me a pony and a plastic rocket...
VastaKustutaFirefly doesn't really seem to be the best thing to crossover with ponies, given the nature of both the settings take place in....
This is really good, but it surely can get better.
VastaKustutaThey took being turned into a pony too lightly, but for Zoe, Mal and Jayne it could be because they're soldiers: they have to use what they have, not mess around trying to figure out WTF happened to them.
Looking forward to chapter 2.
OH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutainsta-put on bookmark and never get around to reading it because I have too many other things that I put there first and should give the attention they deserve(am I doing it right?)
The structure was a little jadded and it was hard to follow. I don't see the point on bringing the characters into the MLP world and turn them into ponies.
VastaKustutaThankfully, they stay in character.
Have to agree with the critique. I did not mind reading it up to the point where the crew turns into ponies. They should have freaked out, A LOT. The Serenity crew is good at improvising and adapting, but not that good.
VastaKustutaIf the focus had not been on all of the crew at once, there would have been space to show this freakout with one of them. Then that person could have met the others later on and they could have retold their own experiences. As it it, it seems to me like every character, both from Firefly and FiM was crammed into the story, leaving no room for anything but the most basic characterization and character development.
All that said I did not mind the story, I just wish it would have been longer and more detailed. There is certainly potential in this crossover :)
Last night, my sister finished watching Firefly for the first time. I started to talk to her about ponies like I usual do and she asked me if there was ever a Pony/Firefly crossover. I said I didn't think so and then gave my idea of what I thought the crossover would be like (With me miming how I though a meeting between River and Pinkie Pie would play out).
VastaKustutaCue 15 hours later and me finding this staring back at me.
I have to admit, this is a very strange coincidence, unless you can read my mind. If that is the case, stay out of there. There is things in there I don't even like knowing about.
See Vera? Get dressed up and you get taken somewhere nice!
VastaKustuta@Zerone
VastaKustuta"Go play with your rainstick."
At this point, the only MLP:FiM crossover I want to see that hasn't been done yet is Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. Hope someone does a good one ;) .
VastaKustutaOH CELESTIA AND LUNA, FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
Work can wait a bit, can't it?
Years ago, someone did custom Ponies of all the Serenity crew...
VastaKustutaIM GONNA READ THIS!!! WITH A VENGEANCE!!!
VastaKustutaum i've never watched firefly or the movie. should i do that before i read this?
VastaKustutaThat's super creepy. I've decided the author must be River because last night I was thinking: I wonder if there's a Firefly crossover. Maybe I should write one. And then I wake up to find one...
VastaKustutaNeeds a lot of work. Most of my points have been covered already, but let me emphasize this: Don't jump around so much. It seemed like every time you managed to build up the right momentum, you changed characters and started over again. Finish getting the crew into groups ASAP and/or actually spend some time following one of them.
VastaKustuta*crosses fingers* don't let them turn into ponies don't let them turn into ponies don't let them turn into ponies...*crosses fingers*
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaDAMNIT
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaYeah, I'm sick of these crossover stories where they turn into ponies, especially in a scifi story where it has next to no baring to the plot. It can work if done right, but this is not one of those cases.
In Bridled Fury, it works because it's about trying to mend Kratos' tormented soul and the transformation into a cute little pony diffuses Kratos as a mindless killer.
In Stargate Equestria it would not have made sense for SG1 to turn into ponies(though I would like to see that image), that and the tongue in cheek humor wouldn't have been nearly as funny.
@Anonymous It seems to me there's some sort of unwritten rule that humans must get pony-fied when they enter Equestria by any means. Like you said, that makes sense in fantasy stories where magic's involved in the transfer, but not in sci-fi stories with spaceships and/or wormholes being used.
VastaKustutaThen don't read it. Simple as that. I'm not attacking you or singling you out, it's just that there's enough people on here complaining about it already. The thing is, I think the people who are posting the most critical comments are the ones who wish they had they cajones to write something and post it on the internet for others to see.
VastaKustutaUmm, where is Inara? If Shepherd Book is still alive and on Serenity, then where is Inara?
VastaKustutaAlso @Anonymous
If no one reads human in Equestria stories then why are there so many of them and how did Stargate Equestria get a 6 star rating then?
@Anonymous I've never actually read any of the comics, I've just seen the show and movie, so if Inara actually leaves Serenity before Book does, oops...my bad. I really wanted to avoid a companion on Equestria scenario, so I have it set after she leaves, but Book hasn't gone to his colony in Serenity yet. Truthfully, Inara really was my least favorite member of the Firefly crew, so I just didn't really want to include her.
VastaKustutaOH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
I love the idea of Jayne burning down the forest by accident. And I think you captured the CMC pretty much dead on
VastaKustutaNerdgasm. Hyperventalitaing
VastaKustutaNot the best first chapter. Awkward to read. Almost makes me ashamed of being a Browncoat.
VastaKustutaHopefully will improve.
Hmmmmmmm... Okay. Let me say this. I've never watched Firefly.
VastaKustutaI'm a little ashamed to say it as I've heard it's quite good and I make a point to watch anything that is considered simultaneously "nerdy" and "good." Alas I still have yet to get to it.
However, the fact that I have not watched Firefly plays a big point into why this was NOT a particularly good story, as it is totally inaccessable to new readers.
See, not knowing anything about Firefly, I went into this story knowing nothing. Thus you, the writer, must supply me, the reader, with the proper information that I can use to understand what is going on. I need to be supplied with information such as, who the characters are, what they do, some backstory, what their job is, the relationships they share with each other, how they got together, wht they plan for the future, and things like that. I also need information about the universe they are in, such as its fundamentals, the science fiction rules we're using, the elements we might encounter, the vehicles, planets, and races we may be seeing.
None of this was supplied suitably.
I know about as much about Firefly now as when I started. There are these guys, Kaylee, Mal, Wash, Sheperd, Jayne, and River Tam. They fly around space on the good ship Serenity and do stuff. I also know that River Tam is a bit on the crazy side.
Even after reading this fanfic, this is still all I know of the characters.
I'm going to level with you. This is BAD. Very VERY BAD to say after reading a whole, relatively long fanfic with these characters. I SHOULD be able to tell more. But unfortunately, you spent prety much the whole chapter with dialogue. Dialogue is interesting, don't get me wrong, but it's only half the puzzle. You need explanation. Description. Explain their actions, their emotions, their movements, their pasts, their selves. Explain their surroundings, give us an atmosphere. Give us their pasts, their trials, their worries. Only then will we have the proper context to be able to take this dialogue and make any real USE of it.
At the moment, you're trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle, but you only have a third of the pieces. THe result is nothing but confusion and wasted time on my, the reader's, part. I know nothing more now than when I began. I have no wish to see Firefly now any more than when I started because I was not given any character, atmosphere, or suitable context to suggest why it is worth seeing, nor do I really care what is going to happen further into the story.
Now you shouldn't give up of course. That's never the answer. As flawed as the story was, nothing is completely beyond saving. What you should do is go back through it and just start _adding_. Add description. Add atmosphere. Add explanation. Add backstory. Add character. Just ADD. Make us, the readers, CARE about what you're writing. Make us want to learn more and see more. Make us feel engaged.
A good frame of reference... THere was a Stargate SG-1 crossover a while back that managed to execute most of what I've suggested very well. I forget the name but I suggest you track that story down and study it. Read it closely. I knew nothing of Stargate going in, but now I've managed to pick up a couple seasons, and it was that fanfic that inspired me to do so.
Make me do that with Firefly. Make me Care.
Good luck :)
@Crimson ValorI MIGHT end up just mailing you cookies, as I am rather broke atm (beating hobos does not pay nearly as well as it should, tbh) but who knows? xD
VastaKustutaWRITE MORE! This is just the tip of the iceberg, and it only makes me want to read the rest of it. HOW CAN YOU TORTURE ME WITH JUST THE INTRODUCTION!?
VastaKustutaWRITE MORE! This is just the tip of the iceberg, and it only makes me want to read the rest of it. HOW CAN YOU TORTURE ME WITH JUST THE INTRODUCTION!?
VastaKustutaIs there more coming?? It's been a while and no update :( Please write more I really want to see how this turns out :D And btw I have never watched firefly and i thought the fic was really good so far :D
VastaKustutaSorry I haven't updated. I know it's been a long time. Right after i wrote this chapter i got slammed with first semester of college. More will come, I just don't know when i will ever have the time to write it.
VastaKustutaI also really want to take suggestions I was given and rewrite chapter 1 a little better. Again, no idea when i will have time for that.
OH GOD FIREFLY
VastaKustutaInstant must-read.
This is still cool three months late, right?