• Story: The Most Dangerous Dish!



    [Normal][Random] The entire thing is narrated by Zecora. That is some serious work right there!

    Author: Chopper's Top Hat
    Description :When it comes to flying, no one does it as fine
    as Rainbow Dash, but when her pride's on the line
    she grows rather reckless; now sit back and see
    how she creates a frosting-topped catastrophe!
    The Most Dangerous Dish!

    Additional Tags: Whimsical, short, rhyme, competition, cake

    42 kommentaari:

    1. lol I read this as part of the competition. Somehow the rhymes just make it better. Especially when you consider that it's a speed-fic.

      VastaKustuta
    2. I just barely managed to cobble together cohesive prose in 2 1/2 hours, but THIS guy does rhyme in the same timeframe, and tells a neat little tale to boot! Nicely done, sir. I tip my hat to you.

      VastaKustuta
    3. This one definitely deserved its own post. Its awesome for only 2 hours of work.

      VastaKustuta
    4. Completely in rhyme? Instant five stars!

      VastaKustuta
    5. Amazing!
      Everything rhymed plus a very fluid story.

      5 stars!

      VastaKustuta
    6. THIS, was AMAZING. And dare I say, would love to see a series of tales coming ztraight from the zebra's mouth. I loved her introduction, and can see it being used again for any future flights of fancy that you manage to come up with!

      VastaKustuta
    7. Very good. The flowed worked well and despite the odd style, it still captured the characters.

      There was one line which stood out, though. It just didn't seem to flow as well as the others.

      'Dash put down her entry right next to me,
      and said, “Hey there Zecora, you're just in time to see'

      I read it quite a few times and each I tried to pause after the 'and said', making me read what came after as a new sentence.

      This caused the rhyme to collapse for me.
      Even them it’s still better than most of Equestria daily.

      VastaKustuta
    8. Writing for Zecora is tough enough, but you did an entire story from her perspective? Wow. Five stars

      VastaKustuta
    9. Ahaha,the mighty Rainbow Dash against a cake.XD

      VastaKustuta
    10. This is most certainly quite impressive.

      VastaKustuta
    11. 5/5 stars

      Brilliant writing, I could definitely see this as a nice storybook for young children. It's a shame you can't pitch it to Hasbro.

      VastaKustuta
    12. This was amazing. For all being in prose, wonderfully fluid, and done in two hours, I applaud you, sir. 6/5 stars.

      VastaKustuta
    13. So...Pegasi eat cakes made of thunderclouds? No wonder Dash and Fluttershy are so awesome.

      VastaKustuta
    14. Writing Zecora, I know to be tough,
      Packed to the brim with much rhyming fluff,

      But this here story, has much skill behind,
      And what do you know, rhymes great to unwind.

      5 stars

      VastaKustuta
    15. I'm awed by all the rhyming! There was even a surprise twist. And that last couplet made me giggle!

      VastaKustuta
    16. Holy crap this is an awesome story!

      VastaKustuta
    17. *reads first six lines*
      Thanks for the directions, Zecora! :D

      VastaKustuta
    18. Excellent Writing Zecora is a Challenge in itself Yet your flow was fantastic. You choice of vocabulary was excellent

      VastaKustuta
    19. This was truly awesome, and I'm still marvelling at how the writer managed to rhyme flawlessly the whole way through.
      I'm also pretty chuffed that Zecora narrated the whole thing in my head.

      VastaKustuta
    20. 5/5 stars.
      That was pretty awesome!

      ...
      But who won?
      <.<

      VastaKustuta
    21. LOL that was just fantastic :) This'd make a good... I dunno, like if they ever have some sort of "two parter" episode... you know two short stories that are only 11 minutes? this'd make a good one of those

      VastaKustuta
    22. Maybe it's me, but I just couldn't get into it. I can appreciate the effort put into the rhyming, because Zecora is tough to write for.

      But.. I dunno, it just didn't grab me.

      VastaKustuta
    23. >Author: Chopper's Top Hat
      >Narrated by Zecora, complete with rhyming
      >Written as a speedfic

      All my money.

      VastaKustuta
    24. I could never write Zecora. There are too many words that don't rhyme with anything.
      Speaking of, I bet Zecora hates oranges.

      VastaKustuta
    25. This really needs six stars. I was enthralled the entire team. The author really has a beautiful talent here. A couple of beats occasionally seemed a little haywire, but with the proper rhythm this fic was just magnificent.

      VastaKustuta
    26. Whoa, this kicks the ass

      VastaKustuta
    27. Oh gosh, this is amazing! While I didn't find the rhythm of some of the lines to be perfect, this was an all-around awesome piece. I loved the rhymes, and the story Zecora told. Hehe, it even had a moral, like the show!

      VastaKustuta
    28. Oh ho ho! There can be no doubt we have never been in greater need of more writings for our favorite striped steed. I hope that to more stories for Zecora does this story lead. Soon, now, shall they grace the Equestria daily news feed.

      VastaKustuta
    29. set mind = blown

      VastaKustuta
    30. I honestly cannot see how a lightning cake could ever be made safe for consumption. I'm almost certain that puffer fish has a lower chance of killing you.

      VastaKustuta
    31. Moral of the story: DON'T FREAKING BAKE WITH STORM CLOUDS

      That being said, nicely done

      @Flatterscheu Twist did.

      VastaKustuta
    32. ...So Derpy is Canadian?
      Uh oh.

      VastaKustuta
    33. Done in only 2 hours, a cohesive story, a friendship report and all done in rhyme!? That take exceptional skill. The story/poem was imaginative as well.

      Now I'm imagining an entire episode narrated by Zecora.

      VastaKustuta
    34. I think you deserve five stars just for making the whole thing rhyme, meter be hanged. And on top of that, a neat idea with some stuff like the pegasus recipes. "Canada in a gown" is the funniest thing ever. And love for Twist, that's adorable. Great work!

      VastaKustuta
    35. Oh man, these comments are making me grin like an idiot. I was a bit worried about what kind of reception such an unusual story would get, so I'm really touched and happy that so many people enjoyed it.

      For the record, this version represents a bit more than two hours' work because it's a revised version of the originally submitted story. I tightened up some of the lines for the sake of flow(though obviously I missed a few, thank you to those who pointed them out)and added a few new scenes. So...maybe two and a half hours? Feels like cheating if I don't point that out. But it's not a huge change; I'd say it's about 90% the same story as before. Like Scootaloo, it is now 10% cooler.

      Thanks so much for all your comments!

      VastaKustuta
    36. They need to make a real episode like this! It's like Lauren Faust ate Doctor Seuss and started wearing his face as a mask...

      VastaKustuta
    37. Such great effort, the craft in making,
      this tale of the dangers in baking.

      VastaKustuta
    38. I swear, Mt hat, you must be buried underneath all these internets you win every time you put your fingers to a keyboard. You deserve to have squadrons of beuttious genitals (of your gender preference) bombard you with money. The nice soft paper stuff to, not coins. Those F***ers really hurt with enough force put behind them

      VastaKustuta
    39. this story = facehoof

      VastaKustuta
    40. This is a great story. The rhyming couplets remind me of Dr. Seuss (that's a good thing, by the way).

      Have an Internet.

      VastaKustuta