Author: Mazer
Description: When Pinkie's Father becomes too sick to work, she is requested by her mother to return home to the Rock Farm in order to help out. Now Pinkie must face her childhood memories along with the fear of her father's health.Going Home Part 1: The After Party
Going Home Part 2: The Cutie Mark Crusaders
Going Home Part 3: Rainbows and Turnips
Going Home Part 4: Family Meeting (New!)
Going Home Part 5: Father's Request (New!)
Going Home Part 6: The Party (New!)
Going Home Part 7: Returning Home (New!)
Additional Tags: Emotional, Development, Backstory, fleshing out
55 comments:
I, VALMIR! have first comment.
ReplyDeleteSecond!
ReplyDeletelol. Good story, gets the anticipation going. Just one question for the author; Does chapter 2 take place a while before chapter 1 and 3? It seems that chapter 2 is an intro to dash and Ditzy and Fluttershy. but the chapter before hand pinkie knows everyone, and same goes for chapter 3. Just maybe some time piece to indicate when each chapter takes place, and if its a flashback please state so.
ReplyDelete"We definitely haven't had anything with Pinkie Pie's parents yet."
ReplyDelete*cough cough*
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/06/story-somewhere-we-pocketed.html
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/06/story-pies-path.html
*cough cough*
Yes, definitely none at all.
@Valmir_R0yalGuArd
ReplyDeleteIt seemed pretty clear to me when I read it. The second chapter is a flash back to when Pinkie first arrived in Ponyville (10 years before Ch. 1 and 3), to explain how she met those friends.
And then Chapter 3 starts when she wakes up in the morning, as a direct continuation from Chapter 1.
And a bit of mental anguish/breakdown to cap off the third chapter. Nice fic as far as background is concerned (it's fun to see some of Pinkie's early days in Ponyville) and it's actually pretty neat to have this taking place from her perspective (not a whole lot of 1st person fiction here).
ReplyDeleteAs for crits: it seems like you don't quite have Pinkie nailed down (I'm not sure about her using pinkie as an adjective as much as you do), but it's a fairly decent representation anyways.
Awwww... sad...
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteNice fic, but sometimes it seems as if the perspective was just listing events like a third-person fic would, as opposed to getting into Pinkie's perspective.
ReplyDeleteStill, great job! 4 stars
It reads a little too formally at times to be in Pinkie's perspective (saying 'it is' instead of simply 'it's', like most people would do, especially Pinkie) but apart from that, it's good, I enjoyed it and would love to see more.
ReplyDelete3.5 star.
ReplyDeleteThe idea is interesting, but there's a couple of things that irk me. In the first chapter you went back and forth between the past and present tenses in your narration. Zecora's name was misspelled, The style is still too formal to match Pinkie's usual style.
You know they are meant to be triplets right -_-
ReplyDeleteIn anycase, couldnt stomach this. There are worse overrated fics on here tho.
I really like what's here so far; I thought the descriptions above all were perfect for capturing Pinkie's personality! So I must respectfully disagree with some of the criticism thus far leveled.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read more!
@Shawa666
ReplyDeleteI apologize for the misspelling >.< I didn't catch that.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteAs I have never seen any evidence, personally, of them being triplets, I just went with 1 older, 1 younger, with Pinkie in the middle.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteShe is a very hard character to get personality wise. Personally I feel that there is a lot more going on in her head then she let's on to the other ponies - that she's actually very contemplative but that is due to my own feelings from when I analyzed Pinkie from Party of One.
I'll post my thoughts on that later :D
@Valmir_R0yalGuArd
ReplyDeleteChapter 2 is a flashback to when she met Rainbow Dash. There's a very important reason for Dash's involvement which we'll get to later
So far it seems pretty interesting. The only thing I can nitpick about it is that, shouldn't Octavia and Pinky remember seeing each other at the Gala?
ReplyDeleteTo me, Pinkie looks to be the biggest of the three in Cutie Mark Chronicles.
ReplyDelete*shrug*
Also, I agree with Shadow Dragon, there should have been some recognition.
I like what you have so far. I've always been interested in Pinkie Pie's background. It could use a touch of proof reading love, but overall, I think it's a solid piece, with an interesting plot and strong writing to back-it-up.
ReplyDelete@Melodia
ReplyDeleteIt's the Pinkie Pie 'fro. Makes everything larger than life. They aren't defined at any rate. I took them to be a pair of twins and then the younger Pinkie.
Anyways, Pinkie still seems a bit off to me, but I'm not sure if its more the characterization or the perspective that's at fault. Whichever it is, it has Pinkie coming off as much more thoughtful/analytical than what would seem normal.
Ditto on the Gala as well. You could perhaps have delayed/refused recognition at play, but it'd be good to address it at any rate.
Still an enjoyable story, but it needs some tweaking (and correcting as well).
@ Shadow Dragon
ReplyDeleteI don't think Octavia being Pinkie's sister is cannon. (Though I know some fanfics made them sisters) At the least there's nothing in the wiki about it.
There is a minor grammy in the second chanpter, using the word "to" in the place of "too."
Story deserves more than a 4.2... The fic puts Pinkie Pie in a different light. Even if suffering, she will still don a smile so not to affect those around her.
@Shadow Dragon
ReplyDeleteThe way I see it, Octavia is too professional to acknowledge pinkie but because they are sisters, that is why she played Pinkie's song at request.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI've always considered Pinkie to be very analytical. If you, (to me at least) look at how she actually thinks things through or acts when serious, she has a very solid mind in that head of hers.
@Skay @Mazer
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean recognize her in the episode. I meant that Pinky should have mentioned seeing Octavia at the Gala during the story.
@Shadow Dragon
ReplyDeleteWhile I am not giving a definite timeline for this, I have pictured this fanfic to take place sometime before the gala but after Party of One
:D
I like the portrayal of Pinkie Pie in this fic, her random behaviour in the show doesn't mean that she is insane or plain stupid, don't forget that she might mostly act like this because she enjoys making others happy!(bacause she seemed serious enough back at the farm to me at "Cutie Mark Chronicles") and what's better than random sillyness? despite all that, she still has a brain and everyone can have some "I'm serious now" time in their life and Pinkie surely deserves it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about Octavia being Pinkie's sister and all, but it didn't realy bother me while reading so I guess it's ok and if ,as you said, this fic is chronologicaly placed between "Party of One" and "The Best Night Ever" it kind of explains why Octavia and the band agreed to play that "funny" music Pinkie asks them to during the Gala.
Ah a last note, if you realy plan on setting this between episode 25 and 26 then I hope you won't be killing off Pinkie's dad, if would immensely depress her at a point of no return (she had a mental breakdown because her friends just ignored her for less than a day, I don't even want to think about what could happen if she lost her dad, just do that ^^ for Pinkie's sake)
Octavia's cutie mark is a purple treble clef, not notes.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteack, sorry. Thanks for that!
It's amazing, Pinkie's sister DOES look allot like a younger Octavia. Nice bit of depth with the friends Pinkie made being from her past like that. Will we have a schizophrenic Pinkie from this story? Or a Basically the same but more analytical Pinkie? Only time will tell. Are ya going to make Pinkie's other sister a background pony or will she be an entirely new character? Anyway, look forward to the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteWell, that makes a lot of sense. Imaginary friends who later became split personalities :D
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty cute. Your Pinkie seems to be pretty in-character. ^^
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think the story could do with a bit more proofreading. There's quite a few misspellings and grammar mistakes, and they kind of detract from the experience.
I'll give this a... hm... 3.7.
The last few lines of part three made me tear up... so much in contrast to "Cupcakes"... eeech.
ReplyDeletedarn it, ya made me start to cry
ReplyDeleteSomepony complined about the word "anybody" was used instead of "anypony".
ReplyDeleteAnypony means only ponies.
Anybody includes other species like Griffins or even Gummy.
Yay, somebody has the same theory I do on the origins of Pinkie's other "friends."
ReplyDeleteAlso, as much as I like this fic, I think it might prove that Pinkie doesn't quite work in the first person. Valiant effort on it, though, and still an interesting story.
ReplyDeleteMOAR.
ReplyDeleteBaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!! Pinkie pie!!!! Im sorry for your childhood!!! I just want to hug you forever!!!! I am Fighting the urge to cry at chapter three..
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to slap a [Sad] tag on this, seriously. Especially if it keeps on going the direction it is.
ReplyDeleteI kinda like the formal style of Pinkie's thoughts. It seems to ex...Um... Bring out the fact that she's not all that far from another breakdown. I think I just had a Spike moment...Ok, I've got to go find something a lot happier now, before I start going completely Pinkie Pie.
It's good to see that she not mentally unstable, like I see in other fic. She just had a very boring childhood. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteA good story. It needs some work when it comes to tenses, there were misspellings, and at times it didn't feel like Pinkie wasn't the one narrating. Even when she's sad in Party of One, she still keeps a loopy perspective on life and that was dropped. One thing confused me, though. It says that Pinkie didn't want friends because she didn't know they existed, but then two paragraphs later she says she wanted to join the school fillies and that's what prompted the parties with inanimate objects.
ReplyDelete@Venlin
ReplyDeleteVenlin, Pinkie Pie's mental instability is canon. When faced with the prospect of being abandoned, she doesn't cope like a "normal" pony would, but instead resorts to getting her love from inanimate objects. Her mental instability doesn't make her a sadistic murderer or unable to be a functioning member of society.
Absolutely loved Part 3.
ReplyDeletePart 1 & 2: Nice little story. Could use some work with the tenses, but overall really good and I liked it.
ReplyDeletePart 3: I... I... Good Lord, I cried. I actually cried. There is just something so f'cking heart breaking about PINKIE PIE clinging onto another pony crying. It's just so much sadder than imagining any of the other mane 6 cry. Don't get me wrong, if anyone ever makes Fluttershy cry I'll put a dent in their skull, but for Pinkie Pie to cry... man, it just crushes my heart.
I REALLY look forward to part 4.
Wow this sounds really sad but it's a great idea for a story. I'll have to read this after I study!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, how long has THIS one been? I think I'll have to give it a full reread.
ReplyDeleteI'm still reading this one and I'm liking it so far (Pinkie is VERY well written), but it could use some proofreading. The tense is inconsistent, commas are underused, and the constant typing of "Zecura" and "Scoot-a-loo" is distracting.
ReplyDeleteSO MANY TEARS. I guess it, and yet...
ReplyDeleteTHE TEARS.
You deserve 5 stars
ReplyDeleteAside from the two mentioned earlier, the story Pinkiemania which you featured on here also had Pinkie's parents in. :3
ReplyDeleteGreat story. depressing right at the end there with Pinkie alone in her fathers room (made that as spoiler free as possible. ppl shouldn't read comments before reading or watching stuff, it just spoils things. Oops, bit offtopic) 4.5 stars for a great story. keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteWow, dramatic without hitting over the head. Very enjoyable through and through.
ReplyDeleteI thought My Little Dashie was overdramatic and played out. This had me crying bawling. Hit me right in the heartstrings. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteSlap a sad tag on this though, please?
Woah, that was very emotionally wrenching to read, but a good story nonetheless.
ReplyDelete