[Comedy][Random][Shipping] Cheerisparkle!
Author: James Corck
Description: Twilight Sparkle joins Cheerilee to help her correct the exams of her students. It may not seem like a very exciting Sunday night plan, but then, they also plan on playing Cheerilee's favourite game: The F-Grade Drinking Game.The F-Grade Drinking Game
The F-Grade Drinking Game Alternate
Additional Tags: Random, Comedy, Teachers, Self-Parody, Exams.
111 kommentaari:
what is this...my brain hurts.
VastaKustutaDo I dare...?
VastaKustutalul, I should try my hand at a quick scene of a fan fiction.
VastaKustutaOnly 4.626 words?
VastaKustutaShort fic...
And that's how Equestria was made.
VastaKustutaHey, Sethisto; not that I give a rat's ass or anything, but didn't you say you were gonna try to keep kissing ponies off of the front page? Meh, whatever; it fits with the fic.
VastaKustutawhy would you keep kissing ponies off the front page? The front page is where I read most of my crap from :D
VastaKustutaAnd cue lots of people bitching about the picture
VastaKustutaAlright, what the hell happened here? I was going to wait for Midnight to post the review you said was necessary before Seth posted it here, and contrast his with the one I'd written up. And yet... this hasn't happened. And yet it's up.
VastaKustutaWat.
(congrats btw, I enjoyed it)
YAY I have been yearning for a new fanfic with cheerilee in it. Not many are out there. Gonna read it later. n.n
VastaKustutaWoa Woa Woa, that pic is way too much Sethisto. Thats just terrible judgement right there
VastaKustuta@Zarkanorf
VastaKustutaRat wants its ass back.
Whatever just happened in this story, I thoroughly enjoyed it. -applause-
VastaKustutaThat fic was quite nice, I will say. Funny at that. Also, Sweetie Belle's essay made me laugh hard.
VastaKustutaGotta wonder what the FiM staff think of fics like these... I bet they like 'em.
VastaKustutaSaucy! 5/5
>shipping
VastaKustuta>Twilight
I'll read it.
DAT PIC.... me gusta? The content is a bit saucy but as pencil sketches go I think it is done quite nicely :) onwards to the fic!
VastaKustuta*looks at picture*
VastaKustuta*reads fic*
Eeyup.
shit just got real
VastaKustutaTwenty oneth
VastaKustutaWell that went up quick, and received well! I guess the editing spree did it. 4am. goddamn you transmetropolitan. As addicting as ponies.
VastaKustutaWhen I take a test, I always get a 'Fantastic', and I took a bunch 'a tests yesterday!
VastaKustutaRandom, Comedy, and Shipping?
VastaKustutaMy three favorite tags!
*reads*
“Oh my word…Is that what she thinks that organ does?”
VastaKustutaLooks like somepony's been taking sex ed lessons from Pinkie Pie again.
I don't know why, but I really like this ship.
VastaKustutaTwilight seems like the kind of pony that would desire carnal relations with the town's primary school teacher.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaTell 'em to go away.
Lol, this was great, for some strange reason, I had never thought about a twilight/cheerilee pairing before, but it seems so obvious now considering their professions and interests and they actually do well together.
VastaKustutaWell that was fun.. and methinks I might have to take a stab at vectorizing that pic there...
VastaKustutaThis story was funny 5/5 ^-^
VastaKustutaHay, look! I'm in the window and- oh Luna! Why is Twilight trying to bite-off Miss Cheerilee's face and why do my wings tingle?
VastaKustutanice story
VastaKustutaIve said it one and i will say it again. Drunk twilight is best twilight.
VastaKustutahehe, Twilight drunk *giggles*
VastaKustutaPretty good, and really funny haha, I liked it!
I liked it. Nice, short, and funny. Its funny, I never thought about this ship before and I thought I had shipped everypony. Also, I don't think the picture is too much. If it were in a drawfriend it wouldn't even be tagged saucy.
VastaKustutaWho honestly gives a fuck about the picture?
VastaKustutaAfter reading the rules of the game, I wonder if this is a subtle commentary on fanfics in general.
VastaKustutaAlways love a risque picture of pony makeout. Technically it's entirely non sexual (due to the absence of genitals).
VastaKustutaI just find it cute, not raunchy.
The story was well written, so I'll just take a few nitpicks at the plot.
VastaKustuta-Do teachers normally grade a bunch of exams after midnight? Especially on a school night?
-I feel like too much focus was placed on the papers of the CMC and Diamond Tiara/Silver Spoon. Doesn't Cheerilee have more than five students?
-That must have been some really weak alcohol if the two of them could last that many shots and still objectively grade a bunch of papers. I know the content of every exam wasn't exactly high school/college level thinking, but being drunk would still make anything involving thought more challenging than it should be.
-I know it's a one-shot, but since it's presented as a weekly ritual for Twilight and Cheerliee, I would be super interested in how exactly this relationship started, and how both of them can be okay with it being so casual. Anyone could extend this into a major ship fic and it would probably be one of the most interesting reads on the site. Soooooo much potential.
But like I said, that's just me kind of complaining about the content. It's not a critique on the writing style, because it's well written. It's just not the way I would have wrote the fic. I'm still giving it a 5/5.
Like I said, all my tests are Fantastic!
VastaKustutaNow somepony go save Miss Cheerilee from the zombie-Twilight!
The ballad of Twilight Soparkle suggested the hypothesis, and this story confirms it. Ponies + Alcohol = madness. funny, ridiculously cute madness.
VastaKustuta“Oh, good…” said Twilight before clearing her scratchy throat. “How many do we have left?”
VastaKustuta“Forty.”
“Oh, Celestia…” Twilight groaned as if in pain, “that’s terrible.”
It's also as many as four tens. And that's terrible. :D
Loved it.
VastaKustutaWhoa. Drunk ponies are adorable. Most ship-fics are awesome to read. This puts them both together pretty well in my opinion.
VastaKustutaDrunk ponies...oh wow, I think I understand Butterscotch Sundae's shtick a little better.
Which reminds me, I gotta read part two of 'Luna's Socks.'
Hmm, I know this is a shipping story. I know they're drunk. I know they're ponies. And yet, as soon as I read 'same thing we do every Sunday, Twi,' I instantly thought of Pinkie and the Brain. Why? What is wrong with me?
What
VastaKustutaThe
Duck?
Jesus, my unit would flip their shit if they caught me reading this!
I admit I started reading this after seeing "Drinking Game" in the title. Glad I did read it. Great story. Now where's my MLP:FIM drinking game?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutalol doesnt butterscotch sundae have one on her deviantart page?
Redraw it with Big Mac looking through the Window EEYUP
VastaKustutaOK, it's official, we need not just an MLP:FIM drinking game, but a fanfic drinking game. I'll start.
VastaKustuta1. Every time the plot hinges on Twilight messing up a mass teleport spell, take a drink.
NEW OTP
VastaKustutaGood god, I've just barely gotten through the rules and I've already fallen out of my chair. A sign of things to come I hope...
VastaKustutaGood God I literally pissed my pants when I saw the pic. Not sure why.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustuta2. Any mention of an abacus, take a drink.
@Anonymous 2. Take a shot for every time an OC pony is introduced.
VastaKustuta3. Take a shot for every misspelling that slipped through Auto-Correct.
4. Take a shot for every Cupcakes reference.
5. Take a shot every time one of the mane 6 goes out-of-character
6. Take a shot for every time Rainbow Dash is referred to as "Dash".
7. Take a shot every time the tense changes.
And for Rainbow Dash difficulty:
8. Take a shot for every background pony appearance (eg. Derpy, Lyra, BonBon, Octavia)
9. Take a shot for every chapter change, including side stories and followups. (DON'T try this with Fallout: Equestria. Just... don't.)
10. Take a shot for every hour you spend reading.
...and I was not disappointed. Fantastically ridiculous, good sir!
VastaKustutaOh, and I would suggest "Take a drink every time Dash is shipped with something," but I don't want to be responsible for so many cases of alcohol poisoning.
@Flygon16 That usually only happens once per fic, though...
VastaKustutaHere, have a bonus challenge instead:
BONUS: Take a shot for every time Pinkie Pie breaks the fourth wall.
@Ridict
VastaKustutaThat's why Operational Security was invented.
@Not A Good Username 360
VastaKustuta11. Take a shot for every mention of either "20%" or "ten seconds flat".
@Not A Good Username 360
VastaKustutaYou just doomed so many a long, painful morning hahaha!
Eh, there really isn't much to this fic. No plot to speak of, and most of the jokes fall a little flat, but I did find it cute. It's... nice.
VastaKustutaI have the most suitable wingboner right now... Lmfao jk this is a good fic, sure brings someone up when their feeling down (emotionally get your mind outta the gutter) lol :3
VastaKustuta@Scootaloo
VastaKustutaYa see Scoot...
When a mare and a stallion, or in this case two mares, love each other very much...
*Rambles on for twenty minutes trying to explain to Scootaloo*
And that's how foals are made.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Drunk ponies are best ponies.
VastaKustutaPicture be damned, story was good.
VastaKustutaDrunk Twilight is best Twilight
The picture is cute, And for pity's sake please tell me that the mistakes and errors quoted in the story are not based on similar real-life test errors.
VastaKustuta~Ardashir
*Looks at the tags* Comedy, Random...Shipping?
VastaKustutaThat sure is a bit of a odd mix, i wonder what...
*sees "Cheerisparkle!" Mind explodes*
Ill read it later today, when i have time, this looks like to be a very interesting read.
So what do you think about what the ponies read...
VastaKustutaTwilight Sparkle - romance novels
Fluttershy - romance novels
Rairity -romance..nah..poniporn
Rainbow Dash - tough one..I sliding towards poniporn
Pinkie Pie - Cupcake porn
Apple Jack - Apple porn
Spike - poniporn and lots of it
"Twilight and cheerilee stumble out"
VastaKustuta"we're drunk and we're irish!
"we're fat and we're gAy!!"
Instant win.
VastaKustutaI don't know what's funnier Sweetie doing a book report on a steamy romance novel she didn't understand or Scoots doing a report on a novel about Rainbowdash written by Rainbowdash that even she agree's was hard to read.
Booze+Ponies+School/work=Fun.
They were drawing Deadpool, weren't they?
VastaKustuta@Cold in Gardez
VastaKustutaYou'll be amused to know that a fanfic about bad grammar, spelling and punctuation needed help with the spelling, grammar and punctuation ^^
how very meta :)
glad you liked it, the author worked hard one it.
Derp.
VastaKustutaThat is all I have to say.
Cheerilee should be used in more fics. :)
VastaKustutaBooze + Ponies = lulz.
VastaKustutaI lost it at:
VastaKustuta· Take a shot if a student misuses the past perfect tense.
Twilight must've made that rule. It's just so ... nerdy.
LOL
VastaKustutaThe part where the #10 = sadface made me LOL IRL for like 2 min straight. ;p
@Midnight Shadow
VastaKustutaHey, you worked as hard, or even harder than me :)
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaQuoting the immortal words of that workhorse stallion known as Big Macintosh:
"Eeyup"
@Crusty Bread
VastaKustutaI'd go for:
Twilight - Issaac Assimov.
Fluttershy - Stephanie Meyers.
Rarity - Harley Queen Romance Novels in general.
Rainbow Dash - Marvel Comics.
Pinkie Pie - Where's Waldo books.
Applejack - Instruction manuals.
Spike - Poniporn. Lots of it.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaHey there! I am really happy that you liked the story so much. I also liked the things you pointed out. If you allow me, I'd like to answer every one of them.
- They usually grade the exams before the end of the week. At least, that's how all the teachers I have had did it in the past, so I am basing this one on personal experience.
- I guessed focusing on characters we all know would keep the story tightly contained, so the readers don't have to track every character. Besides, I think we all want to know what the CMC do in class.
- I agree with you on the alcohol part. Horses surely don't have that high tolerance, but I bet Jaggermeister is not as hard as Vodka. I never tried any, so I squeewed reality here.
- I also agree with your point here. I could have dragged the story for a while, make it a seven parter and make you guys wait for the steamy parts. I wrote this in a rash of creativity and pretty much glared over that possibility. Still, it's not a bad one-shot story, right?
Thanks a lot for your feedback man/woman/person/human being.
Hehe, not bad ^^
VastaKustutaYou should try writing the prequel; on HOW they ended up with such an...interesting... sunday habit! ^^
- The Jack
I liked the story itself quite a bit, but the dialogue seemed just a tad stale every now and then.
VastaKustuta4/5
> artistic savant
VastaKustuta+1 for subtle puns.
There only needs to be one rule for a MLP drinking game.
VastaKustuta1. Every time a real life object is ponified take a shot
I was expecting this to be funny, but I was not expecting there to be so many subtle little jokes squirreled away everywhere.
VastaKustutaThe student-specific rules are hilarious. That Twilight has a tolerance for alcohol is kind of surprising. Cheers needs to organize a little better; a whole week's worth of exams the night before class? And weren't they leaving off on the past perfect rule? (My arch-nemesis!)
VastaKustutaOh god, Sweetie Belle's book choice.
And the snogging begins. This is actually a pretty cute relationship here, FWBs and all. Overall, the story's a fun, fluffy read and the student's tests are amusing, but the writing's a little on the loose side, especially near the beginning. Though, if you're a non-native English speaker, this is pretty darn good.
LoL cutie mark crusaders in the background
VastaKustutaA genuinely amusing story, well done.
VastaKustutaAh... were I a drinking man, I would be sorely tempted to re-read this with my own bottle of Jaegermareister and try taking shots along with them. That probably wouldn't end well though heh.
Fully enjoyed it all the way through
VastaKustuta@WavemasterRyx
VastaKustutaReading your comment makes me wonder we should have put a health safety warning label.
I totally NOT recomend you do that, seriously.
Although, the idea is very funny in its own right XD
@James Corck
VastaKustutaOh I agree, it's a funny idea so long as it just stays an idea.
A health safety warning label shouldn't be necessary, but if you really feel you should have one added I'm sure you could get it put in the description. Which, if so I apologize for causing you any trouble with it.
@WavemasterRyx
VastaKustutaOh hey, no worries ;) It's all in good fun, after all, this story is a random comedy X3 I think I tried to do something lighter and funny for once. We need more comedy and less grimdark ;)
Oh man Sweetie Belle's review of the trashy romance novel absolutely slayed me.
VastaKustutaHow long did reviewing fifty exams take? If they were particularly thorough about it (not hard to imagine in any case involving Twilight Sparkle), that could well've taken most of the way until morning.
VastaKustutaJust a note to help people wondering about their tolerances.
Comedy+Random+shipping+drunk kissing ponies..... What could possiably go wrong!?
VastaKustutaNever really thought of shipping Twilight and Cheerilee, it was something new for me lol. But it was a nice story, grabbed my attention, and made me laugh! Keep up the good work! Also poor Sweetiebelle lol.
VastaKustutaThe CMC made that image up there. Sweetiebelle is all like MY EYES THEY BURN, Applebloom is clearly wishing she had brainbleach and Scootaloo is INTRIGUED. Seriously, RD is a bad influence on that girl
VastaKustutaI need more like this.
VastaKustutaDamn at the ending.
VastaKustutaweirdestwingboner.jpg
Wow, I didn't even notice the CMCs in the window in the picture until you guys mentioned it. I can't stop laughing now.
VastaKustutaI couldn't stop laughing through the whole thing. Great fic.
VastaKustutaGood story. Very funny. My only concern is the dialogue is a little bit dry at times. Solid 4/5.
VastaKustutaLove it :D
VastaKustutaI think it got a little too saucy, even for a shipping story.
VastaKustuta@Crusty Bread
You probably haven't read Romance Quest. Twi hates romance novels. She probably gets off of scientific formulas.
As for Dashi, definitely PonyPorn.
@SPOILER@
VastaKustuta"Take a shot if Silver Spoon draws a heart at the end of a SENTENCE."
“Oh right! I just remembered, she saves them for her MATH EXAMS, of course.”
Wait wah?
Last comment, honest.
VastaKustutaI found this highly amusing especially towards the end when they were almost completely wasted.
@Crusty Bread
Twilight Sparkle - Scientific Formulas
Fluttershy - FairyTales. She WAY to timid for even romance novels. She'd probably really enjoy it until it got to the saucy parts at which point she'd be scarred for life.
Rairity - Romance Novels, and she shares them with her friends which I find a little weird.
Rainbow Dash - Who needs that when she can have any mare or colt she desires.
Pinkie Pie - Cookbooks
Apple Jack - Humanporn
Spike - Writes his own romances about himself and Rarity.
AGH! My liver!
VastaKustuta@Reever
VastaKustutaMath formulas :3
What? Didn't you have to write the explanation of a formula in school? I had to. For every. Single. One.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI told you it wasn't a good idea to play that game while reading this >_>
Page 7
VastaKustuta//“That can’t be the title.” said Twilight, leaning forward.
“It is. And before you ask, yes, it’s real. And yes, I have a copy of it.”
“that’s it like?” asked Twilight.//
So just how smashed is Twilight at this point?
Page 8
//My sister says they are hammy. I don’t know, I didn’t see any pigs in the story.//
I'll let the first one slide, but.. what makes 'Belle draw a connection between "hammy" and pigs? Did I miss a "Grimdark" tag somewhere? :p
Page 9
//There were a lot of portraits of parents and super-ponies from popular comic books. They knew none of them, but a particular one appeared three times: He had a red and black costume, and carried two katanas with his mouth. When they came across Scootaloo’s drawing, Cheerilee didn’t even look at it.//
Ignoring for a moment that katana would make the show 20 new kinds of awesome; doesn't the presence of "super-pony" comics and katana suggest that the world we know and love has a darker side to it?
In closure:
It's good. It kept my interest and was well written. That said, it is not the kind of story I would return to. There's no drama or tension or memorable moments. It's just a nice, short read.
~D
@McRamen
VastaKustutaThanks for pointing out that typo. It's fixed now <3
Both the "hammy" and the katana jokes are there just for that. They are jokes. No need to over-read them like other people do with stuff appearing on the show.
Thank you! That's exactly what I wanted to make. A short, sweet story that will make you forget your problems for 30 minutes. Thanks a lot for checking it out!
Oh hey, you got this uploaded! Congrats!
VastaKustuta