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Author: KupoMechanic
Description: The luxury of having full control over the weather has always been appreciated by the ponies in Ponyville. But all great things come at a cost, and Rainbow Dash is about to find out that it can sometimes be difficult to pay up.Controlling the Weather Part 1
Controlling the Weather Part 2
Controlling the Weather Part 3
Controlling the Weather Part 4
Controlling the Weather Part 5+Epilogue
Additional Tags: Storm, Weather, Destruction, Control, Colors
31 comments:
First!
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ReplyDeleteI thought to myself, I'll just read chapter one before I go to sleep. That final line forced me to come back. So yeah, so far good reading.
ReplyDeletecloud
ReplyDeleteI love you Seth.
ReplyDeleteAgreed @ ShadowFox04.
ReplyDeleteI'm liking it so far
ReplyDeleteAs an student who aspires to be a Meteorologist I love this story. Though I do think that a Super Cell Thunderstorm or a Series of thunderstorms would have done the Trick in stead of a super cell thunderstorm with a Tornado. None the less fantastic story
ReplyDelete*review contains spoilers*
ReplyDeleteYou did a wonderful job, especially considering it's your first fanfic. I would not have guess that! Good job, brony!
I loved Rainbow Dash mastering the tornado, which certainly made the fic 20% cooler. But some of the little details were just as enjoyable, like everypony just assuming Pinkie Pie was in the bale of hay with sunglasses on it and Twilight's horror at being confronted with Rainbow Dash's record room. Finally, good job keeping every pony in character!
Very nice story 6/5
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this story. It's well written, in character, and all around fun to read. I'd love to see more from the same author sometime in the future.
ReplyDeleteI like the real moral: "always leave your forwarding address with the post office!!" She might mock Ditzy for being flighty but Ms 20 percent more awesome isn't that much more organized herself....also, Ditzy impresses me as someone whose real catch phrase isn't "MUFFINS!!!" but more like "Vay-kay-shun? Sorry, I'm not familiar with that word."
ReplyDeleteGreat job! Could do with a bit of polish, some of it is kinda awkwardly phrased. Still, I enjoyed it a lot.
ReplyDelete4/5, inches from a 5/5.
Where's the picture from?
ReplyDeleteWoo, it's up and people are reading it! So far, pretty positive reviews, glad my work can be enjoyed by others. I'm more used to writing philosophy more than anything else. I was quite nervous when it went up... anyways, let's go to the comments!
ReplyDelete@ShadowFox04
Heh, glad to deprive you of some sleep.
@IkusaGT
I learned more about tornadoes while writing this fic than I had ever known before now. I tried to make it as accurate as possible, so for someone who actually aspires to be a Meteorologist to enjoy it is a huge compliment and makes all the little details worth it.
@LadyM Yes, first fanfic. I had fun with some of those details, glad you enjoyed them as well.
@Anonymous
It's comments like this that keep me writing! Thanks for responding.
@DreadedCandiru2 I see a thunderstorm, the only light is from a single candle in a window and the lightning from the sky. Through the rain, one soaked mare flaps a pair of bloody wings. Only one thought goes through her mind.
The mail...gets...THROUGH!
@Anonymous
That is an excellent question! Seth put that one up, not me. Looks great though, just what I was hoping for instead of a generic Dash pic.
Do you inspire to be a storm chaser as well?
ReplyDeleteVery well written, indeed! My favorite fanfics are the ones that I could actually see happening in an episode: written in-character, proper mix of humor and action, and the right length. Overall, with minor exceptions, this could totally be a word-for-word transcript of an episode and I would be perfectly satisfied, so definitely a success. Again, great job, especially for a first fanfic ever.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much agree with everybody except that 4/5 guy. 5 stars from me
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a very good read; I really enjoy "simple" [Normal] fics because, by comparison, they're surprisingly rare. I thought it was exactly as long as it needed to be, but if I had to nitpick, I'd poke a bit at the emergency meeting a bit.
ReplyDeleteMight of course be me, but it felt a little odd that Rainbow Dash would (as this is something she's good at, and something that's awesome) argue against the tornado solution, and the whole bit with the weather holding the Everfree at bay seemed a little thin.
I don't nescessarily feel the ideas are bad, but in the execution, I did pause a little and ask myself why Dash would act like this, and again when the explanation - which convinced Dash without debate - came.
Thank you for writing this, good fun!
@Anonymous Glad you liked it! I'll work on not awkwardizing all of the some of the non-polished sentences in the future. :D
ReplyDelete@Nittany Tiger Nope!
@Jordan That's what I was aiming for, thanks for the positive response!
@Hio590 *High-Fives*
@Cloudy Skies Thanks. It actually throws some people off, because they're used to the Adventure, Background, or Grimdark tales. (Not that those are bad, one of those are the one's I'm planning on next.)
SPOILERS (why are you reading the comments this far down if you don't want to be spoiled anyways?)
Yeah, the Emergency Meeting was difficult to write. Both reviewers I had before posting brought that section up, and it's far improved what it used to be. Let me put it this way: Dash knew all about tornadoes, as it was one of the few subjects she actually paid attention to. With one word, she knew the difficulty and probability of making it right, never mind controlling it. Until Twilight explains the area, there could be the judgement that the weather is less important than Ponyville. When it becomes clear losing the weather means losing Ponyville (trusting Twilight here), she jumps on board. She always went with what she thought would give Ponyville the greatest chance to survive, which I would say is very Rainbow Dash. The execution I need to study so I can make similar situations better in the future. Thanks for your input!
Yeah, another story that is good enough. Read it, enjoyed it. Nice to see more of these stories that don't only carry the normal tag but in a way could be an actual episode. Not much else to add ^^
ReplyDeleteFirst Fic? Well done sir.
ReplyDeleteA tiny bit of clean up and this could pass for an episode. It knows when it should be serious, it knows when it should be lighthearted, and it knows when it should mix the two. Some awkward phrasing/word choice here and there, but nothing too distracting.
ReplyDeleteEverypony was well in character (I especially like how Twilight was written), and the solution to the problem was an interesting one (I was almost rolling my eyes when I came to the conclusion that Dash would Rainboom her way out of it, so when she didn't I was ecstatic) that I think would be exactly the kind of thing Dash would do in such a situation.
5/5.
*Ponders* I wonder what a ponified Moogle would look like...
ReplyDelete*On topic* I loved that bit at the end about WHY Dash isn't ready to join the 'bolts yet. Nice insight, there.
@KupoMechanic
ReplyDeleteYou should storm chase. Nothing beats experiencing extreme weather in person.
This is coming from a chaser who was in a hurricane at age 5 though, I'm also a meteo nut that actually majors in it.
*Rainbow Dash organizes a huge team effort and accomplishes something incredibly complicated due to teamwork*
ReplyDelete*Spitfire bemoans Rainbow Dash's lack of teamwork*
Wat.
@BareeThanks for replying!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous *bows* I'm happy to have entertained.
@TenchiFreak5 Thanks. Twilight was the easiest to get into for me, and I tried to make everyone else sound not like her. The rainboom idea popped into my head, but I really couldn't see how it would solve anything other than saying, "SONIC RAINBOOM ALWAYS SOLVES EVERYTHING!" So I went with another option that was more exciting and stayed within limits of acceptance.
@starcat5 Bright, furry white coat, with a red-tipped nose. Pom-pom on the top of the head. Eyes and outfit depend on which FF, and while I like the Ivalice moogles best, the eyes-always-closed variety would probably look better and stand out more.
@Nittany Tiger I've never been in an actual tornado. I lived in mountains most of my life, and am personally terrified of them. But like Dash, I think tornadoes and storm chasers are pretty awesome on their own!
@Anonymous Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let me put it this way. Dash does work great in teams, as long as the teams do everything she says. In this story she's definitely a good leader, but she's still putting herself ahead of everyone else. Don't you think if all the ponies in the funnel team tried controlling their movements in sync, the tornado would be more stable and easier to control? However, Dash improvises so much (and does best when she improvises) that she needed to be the only one controlling while the others kept the tornado alive. If she tried doing that here, the tornado would likely collapse from everyone going different ways. Think of the episodes. When Rainbow works in a team, she mostly stays off to the side until she tries to take matters into her own hoofs.
Dash thinks of it as "her" tornado, and "her" responsibility.
If you don't like any of that explanation, go with Spitfire's personal bias as she noticed things as the leader of the Wonderbolts that didn't have a place in this particular story. The Wonderbolts move more as one person than many in flight, and Dash doesn't have that sync yet. She uses teamwork, but really isn't "connected" to her teams.
And if you're still not happy, then that's okay! First fic, still getting better, hopefully you still liked the story!
@KupoMechanic
ReplyDeleteI already gave it 5/5 what more do you want from me jeez.
Excellent story. Fast paced and exciting, just want I look for in fic about Rainbow Dash. All is well.
ReplyDeleteIf I may ask, one of your comments in the acknowledgements made me raise an eyebrow. And I quote:
"And forget crossover fanfics, there was logically no way those could be any good."
I'm just curious as to the context of this comment. This will not affect the score I give. Have all the stars I may give.
@Anonymous Ha ha! I only answered like that because it was a good question, and all I heard from you specifically was disapproval. I figured you deserved my answer, and there's probably those reading these comments who had the same question and chose not to voice it. But thanks!
ReplyDelete@OmegaPony11 Like I mentioned, I never really knew good fan fiction before this fandom. I mean, truly good fanfics. There's just so many out there, and most of them are terrible. Even worse were crossover fanfiction. "Inuyasha-san and Sasuke-kun fought each other for Kitsune-Neko-Myiamazomi's love and it was hot!" And in theory, it didn't make sense to me. Getting into one universe accurately is difficult enough. Combining two or more? The chances of that being good had to be near or at zero. I knew there were probably some okay regular fan-fictions out there, but I was sure they were buried under so much terrible I didn't even bother with it. Fanfiction was a blight on good writing, an inhibitor for Mary-Sues and an encouragement for bad writing.
And then...I got into Ponies. I read some of the five and six starred stories to better understand why people loved Derpy so much. "Today, Tomorrow, and Forever" put me into tears. And "Better Living through Science and Ponies" was perfect in combining the two sources in a way I had thought impossible. I read many more, and suddenly, I wanted to write good fan-fiction as well. And well, here we are! Huh.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story though! :D
I wanted to say... this story rocked! The mix of culpability and redemption on the part of Rainbow Dash was great. I love the irony that she was atoning for her sins even before she knew about them. I'm a little bit at a loss for why Cloudsdale didn't send in some scouts or something before the tornado team, but that would have made the story pretty dull! Ha! Great work with the characters. Not an OOC moment. Really, a great RD fic overall. Hope to see more from you on EqD soon. :)
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