Author: Dragryphon
Description: A strange unicorn gives Luna something she needed, and continues to show up to her. However, this filly seems to have secrets. Several secrets.Warmth for the Night Part 1:Frozen
Warmth for the Night Part 2 Cold
Warmth for the Night Part 3: Warm
Warmth for the Night Part 4: Hot
Warmth for the Night Part 5: Molten (New!)
Warmth for the Night Epilogue: Cool Down (New!)
Additional Tags: Strange, Warmth, Lunarific, Diary, Magic
36 comments:
Nice story. I only hope Heat gets the spell fixed before it acts up again, though I don't think it will for some time, since she didn't make Luna happy, yet. A 5/5 for a very distinctive work.
ReplyDelete@ a href #c818512912286982351 >Barry /a>
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! I've been so nervous about posting this, as it was the first thing I have worked on in ages, and the first two chapters felt like I had rushed them. And oooboy, poor Heat Wave. This story will not go well for her.
What an interesting character Heat Wave is, so full of secrets just waiting to be disclosed, and I still think she's infatuated with Luna.
ReplyDeleteDespite noticeable but minor errors, this is a pretty nice flow worth some attention (also because it's Luna).
4/5 stars
@ Sonic Rainblast
ReplyDeleteIt happens. I did a few read-throughs and fixed whatever errors I could find, but I know I've missed a few others. One reader had just pointed one out to me and I fixed it right away. And no, she's not infatuated with Luna. Heat Wave feels Luna is just another pony who needs attention.
Hmm.
ReplyDeleteWell, its interesting so far. I like Heat Weave enough. However, in my opinion both Celestia and Luna act against character. With Luna its debatable, since we hardly have seen her, but with Celestia it is really a bit hard to take.
Your comment at the end does therefore does not sit well with me. Still, the story doesn't have a sad or grimdark tag. Not sure how take your comments. I kind of want to keep reading, but your statements make me cautious. Eh. Well find out if I keep reading soon enough I reckon.
@ Baree
ReplyDeleteIt probably won't get Grimdark, but definitely Sad near the end.
nice story so far
ReplyDeletetrixie. Its walys trixie!
ReplyDelete@ Sun Ray
ReplyDeleteShe's not Tyrant Celestia, but she is a Celestia with a sister she wishes to protect, and a kingdom that she rules. XD
The next chapter will deal more with Celestia and Luna.
5/5 stars! I loved it. It's pacing very well.
ReplyDeleteI lol'd at the 3rd chapter near the end. How Celestia was threating the little filly if she were to leave. And I thought. Wait a sec... Shes under a spell that she has no control of. She can't help but LEAVE! I felt Celestia was trolling hardcore.
@ RBD FAN
ReplyDeleteOhhh, she can leave. XD It is just painful to go against the Pull, but I can see how it would be Trollestia going on there. XD
Lol yea. I mean I didn't really think she would threaten the little filly. Clearly Celestia read the dairy and know that she has no control and when it pulls she has to obey it.
ReplyDeleteBut then again. I'll quote it.
"Stay within Canterlot, and if you do anything to hurt my sister, including abandoment, a dungeon will be the least of your worries."
- Trollestia
I can't wait for the next chapters. Already bookmarked the page.
This one has promise, but I hate to say the third chapter ruined it for me. Celestia is way out of character, and both of the princesses seem to be carrying the idiot ball: the journals give enough explanation as to what's going on and that Heat has no control over it, so Celestia's hostility comes across as baffling, especially considering that she's supposed to be one of the most benevolent beings in the setting. I understand being protective of Luna, but she crosses a line in this.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThe reason she was that way will be revealed in the next chapter, though I am sorry how Celestia was ruined it for you. While this Celestia is kind and benevolent, she is most certainly not the TV version.
Celestia's reaction to and treatment of Heat Wave is seriously out of character. Celestia's let the kidnapping of her favorite pet, the near destruction of her ballroom, and even betrayal by her own sister roll off her back. She's been canonically the embodiment of forgiveness in the show. Getting hardcore and leveling DEATH THREATS on a poor filly who she KNOWS is under the influence of a curse is just... not... her.
ReplyDeleteDude, don't write a fanfic if you can't keep the main characters within shoe-throwing range of in-character. If you're not going to write "the TV version" of Celestia, don't bother using Celestia.
ReplyDeleteI see..... so this is the NON LOGIC using version of Celestia. Nice save.
ReplyDeleteThat's like using Trollestia, or a tyrant version of Celestia in fanfics. They aren't the TV version, but are fan versions of her. This is my take upon her. She is a ruler and an elder sister to somebody she had imprisoned away on accident when trying to purge Nightmare Moon from her. I wouldn't have mentioned Headsmare or dungeons, either, if there wasn't another side to her.
ReplyDeleteI actually do understand her, but I guess that is also because I know how she is, what the next chapters will entail, and what all is going to happen, as well as what happened to Luna, as I am going to be writing a fic involving how she became Nightmare Moon.
Plain and simple, yes, she's still mostly kind and benevolent, but that isn't all there is to her, and once again, you will see why in Chapter 4
Good work, I like the story and the pacing though I am not too crazy about the thought that there are capital crimes in Canterlot. I do like the more ...rounded look you take at Princess Celestia as well.
ReplyDeleteReally good soo far. but ease up on the Whip. Poor Heat won't survive another chapter like this.
ReplyDeleteWell, that chapter didn't nearly go as bad for Heat Wave as I thought it would.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the ending doesn't make any sense to me. Heat Wave felt Luna's sadness when she still had the Pull. She knows how the Moon Princess feels. Furthermore, she is obviously afraid of Celestia and what the Sun Princess would do when angered. Now, I can understand she wants to go back to her family. But the choice of words she uses ("I don't want to be your friend"), goes against everything you have established so far.
She should at least explain why she doesn't want to stay at the palace to Luna, if only to try and save her own skin. And since she regrets losing the ability to tell how others feel it would make a lot more sense for her to at least try and let Luna down gently. Its not that she doesn't want to be friend with her anyway, she just wants to go home, and home just happens to be away from the castle.
@ Baree
ReplyDeleteIt was more of an outburst, whereupon she realized exactly what she had said. Oh, yes, a small part of her mind at the time could have been saying "Let's stay for a bit." the rest of her mind was more about home. She'd been unable to go home for nearly a year, and she missed everybody she had to leave behind. Once she realized it, she fled. I mean, would you stick around to find out what would happen to you? XD
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI got butthurt from chapter 3 but next chapters cured me. Good story, poor little filly and oh so much magic))
ReplyDeleteIt was very good, but I think it would make more sense as a story, and therefore be a better story, if Heat Wave was the who saved Luna. Imagine this story without the FiM background: Out of essentially nowhere the 'elements of harmony' come and save the day. Luna also saves herself by fighting against Nightmare Moon, but after her breakdown it doesn't make sense for her to suddenly rebound back from her loneliness.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDelete(I hope this works right) Uh, to clarify myself, basically in the last chapter and epilogue Heat Wave is suddenly a supportive character, which honestly kinda sucks. :(
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete(Again? Whoops? Sorry. D:) I really think that up to part five you have done really well, and I'd like to remind you that you can still change your story if you really want to. It was a pleasure to read.
Well, I liked it. It was an enjoyable read.
ReplyDelete...despite you using my name without permission. Still you've made me instinctively connect with an adolescent pony OC. Gosh dangit...
I personally thought it made more sense to have the Elements of Harmony assist in the destruction of Nightmare Moon. Heat Wave was more a catalyst to the problem than a hero. She's just a confused, lost teenager who's been having some tough times, so it's natural that she might not fit the 'hero's mold as well as some other ponies.
Yes, Celestia was a bit OOC in chapter 3, but you made up for that in the subsequent chapters. I, however, have already made my point there.
I'm glad Heat Wave got to go home. It's all anypony can ask for.
@HeatWave
ReplyDeleteHey now, I didn't even know you existed before I started writing this, silly! XD And this is what I get for letting you read the last two chapters before everybody else, hmmm? X>
And thanks!
huhu, this is why i wait until stories are finished before reading them :3
ReplyDeleteI love Heat Wave, and i'd actually like more stories with her in them. Yeah...you kinda falter when you're writing the mane cast, but i love your Celestia and your Luna's pretty cute, too.
My only complaint is that the ending seemed a little blurred. What did Luna plant in NMM's head, and why did it involve Heat Wave? Besides setting stuff on fire, HW didn't really seem to have a point in the last chapter. Maybe i just misread it.
I really love this fic. Post it on freakin' DA so i can fave it! XD
@jenovaii
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't so much planted as tweaked a portion of NMM's so that her magic would fail. Which it did. Finding her main source of power gone, as the mane cast were now there, NMM went off to drain the life force of whatever ponies she could find. Heat Wave being the first as she had been so helpful to aiding NMM in escaping.
Also, it IS on DA, I tend to post to DA before it gets posted up here. I am Dragryphon on there, as well.
@Dragryphon
ReplyDeleteEr, tweaked a portion of NMM's mind.
Nice Story, the end of Chapter 4 was so sad.
ReplyDeletePoor Luna. I also like the almost scary Celestia, just trying to defend he lil' sis.
Great Read.
just finished chapter 4, WUH-OH
ReplyDeleteSo, is there a continuation that delves into the book Twilight found about the "War of the Night"?
ReplyDeleteAlso... the art you used just so happens to be what I selected as the spline art for the DVD box set I made for myself. It really is a beautiful image! :)
ReplyDelete