• Story: Two Ponies

    by

    [Normal][Sad] One of the pre-readers really liked this one, but failed to give me a cool quote. What a slacker! I need to dock their pay!


    Author: Twilight Snarkle
    Description: Smudge loved well, and loved deeply. Too deeply, perhaps, for the pony left behind.
    Two Ponies Part 1
    Two Ponies Part 2
    Two Ponies Part 3
    Two Ponies Epilogue

    Additional Tags: Bittersweet, Sad, Gentle, Dialogue, Hope
    Thursday, June 30, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , , , , , ,
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    43 comments:

    1. NinestempestJune 30, 2011 at 4:00 PM

      YOU WILL GET NOTHING

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 4:04 PM

      Mobile site! Is this new or have I never seen it before?

      ReplyDelete
    3. UnknownJune 30, 2011 at 4:50 PM

      This story was adorable! I loved every second of it. :)

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 5:07 PM

      The single greatest story featuring OC ponies I have ever read.

      ReplyDelete
    5. AluzirdJune 30, 2011 at 5:11 PM

      2º anon said it best.

      ReplyDelete
    6. ShadowFox04June 30, 2011 at 5:53 PM

      It all came together so well. Perfectly paced, perfectly written.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Horizon BoundJune 30, 2011 at 6:29 PM

      I.... um.... sad story made water come out of my eyes.

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 7:13 PM

      All the emotions of the story made me shed tears, very well done.

      ReplyDelete
    9. JoshJune 30, 2011 at 7:16 PM

      I second both Aluzird's and Horizon Bound's statements. This is an incredibly touching and well written fan fic.

      ReplyDelete
    10. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 8:12 PM

      Very good. I second Josh's Seconding of Aluzird's and Horizon Bounds statement.

      ReplyDelete
    11. EmziJune 30, 2011 at 8:18 PM

      *sniff* Best fanfic I have ever read...ever...in my life...

      ReplyDelete
    12. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 8:20 PM

      This one was quite beautiful. Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    13. SagebrushJune 30, 2011 at 9:09 PM

      This was very moving. Thank you.

      ReplyDelete
    14. ChroniclerJune 30, 2011 at 9:19 PM

      Recently, I was inspired by a friend and fellow writer to submit a story to a fan fiction site. If you're reading this far, you can already guess it has to do with ponies.
      He thought it was a joke when he suggested it - I am not shy about my conversion to bronyhood, and he likes to tease - but, looking back, that really gave me the drive to put something together, and create something new in the world. Something that would be true, and lasting.

      What surprised me, and what still does, is when I completed the story, and submitted it for a pre-read... they didn't think it sucked. A few grammar fixes, and one of the folks suggested I submit it for real to a site called Equestria Daily. Heh.

      I had trouble believing them. After all, this was a catharsis piece, written for myself, and then fleshed out on a dare.

      But I submitted it anyway.

      The point is... today, this afternoon, Sethisto posted the story, and so far, the reviews have been nothing short of magic. I'm completely stunned. Giddy, even. I believe my first expression when I realized this was actually happening was "Eeeeee!".

      So, thank you all. Both for reading my tale, and for your kind words.

      And if the story touches you in any way, please, comment here. You can believe I'll be watching, still in amazement.

      ReplyDelete
    15. MarrockJune 30, 2011 at 10:00 PM

      Why does it seem like I can only feel anything when I read stories like this?

      And why does it hurt so much?

      ReplyDelete
    16. NinestempestJune 30, 2011 at 10:06 PM

      @Sordid Euphemism
      I loved it. I can't really... add more to it than I loved it and it's in my top favorite fictions in the entire darned fandom. You... definitely wrote something, hehe.

      ReplyDelete
    17. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 10:24 PM

      Pure artwork.

      Nothing else to say.

      ReplyDelete
    18. AnonymousJuly 1, 2011 at 1:53 AM

      Oh man. That was beautiful.

      ReplyDelete
    19. AnonymousJuly 1, 2011 at 5:39 AM

      I love sad fics and this was probably the best I've read. In fact, it's the only one that has made me shed a few tears.

      ReplyDelete
    20. Ebon ManeJuly 1, 2011 at 5:48 AM

      If this doesn't deserve 6 stars, then nothing does. Its literary merit far outclasses all but a few shining gems of the fandom. Well done.

      ReplyDelete
    21. AnonymousJuly 1, 2011 at 6:37 AM

      I'm trying very hard not to cry. You broke my heart here. This is one amazing story. One of the very few I will read again many times in the future.

      Though I wonder why the greatest pony fanfics are always so sad when the show itself is so full of joy.

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymousJuly 1, 2011 at 8:54 AM

      So, Snarkle, I bet you're talking about Valmir arent you?

      ReplyDelete
    23. ChroniclerJuly 1, 2011 at 10:02 AM

      @Marrock - *hug*. I feel you.
      @NinesTempest, Ebon Mane, & Anons - Thank you all. High Praise, indeed.
      @Last Anon - Valmir was very enthusiastic about the story, and he helped convince me to post it here. I owe a number of people on ponychan my thanks, but most of all a certain anonymous samurai.
      Again, thanks to everyone. I've got to get back to the office, now. =)

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousJuly 1, 2011 at 10:47 AM

      You realize That it is Valmir who posted that comment right? I love being anon! Lol, so your name is Sordid on EQD huh? Hmm.

      ReplyDelete
    25. MinalkraJuly 1, 2011 at 1:11 PM

      i'm glad i could give this 5 stars and help it get the 6 star recognition it deserves.

      ReplyDelete
    26. AnonymousJuly 1, 2011 at 7:41 PM

      This stuff was great. The whole things was so sad.... but so nice..... I could just hug all the characters..... this so needs fanart.

      And what you mean samurai?

      ReplyDelete
    27. AnonymousJuly 2, 2011 at 12:33 AM

      That is possibly the saddest story I've ever read. That tree needs to be in the show at some point. Beautiful.

      ReplyDelete
    28. ChroniclerJuly 2, 2011 at 6:07 AM

      Valmir - Thanks for your support and your enthusiasm.
      Minalkra - A most sincere thanks.
      Anon1 - I'd love to see a fan image for the story. Maybe the portraits. Alas, I have no skill with brush or pen.
      Anon2 - I think I'd die from shock, but thank you. =)

      ReplyDelete
    29. AarabogaJuly 3, 2011 at 8:13 PM

      That was a truly beautiful story.
      Thank you for sharing it with us.

      ReplyDelete
    30. ChroniclerJuly 4, 2011 at 5:58 AM

      @Aaraboga
      Thank you, Aaraboga. My smile gets a little bit bigger every time I hear it. =)

      ReplyDelete
    31. Fifth AlicornJuly 4, 2011 at 2:51 PM

      I very rarely grant stories the 5-Star rating, but I didn't hesitate in the slightest to rank this one as such. The character depth in this story was phenomenal, especially in such a relatively short story. What probably fascinated me the most was how you showed that Smudge had an effect on three generations, an astronomical feat in and of itself. I regret none of the time spent reading this, and shall probably revisit sometime in the near future. Bravo, my friend. Please keep writing

      ReplyDelete
    32. BeeAreJuly 4, 2011 at 4:50 PM

      This is one of the only stories that I have ever read on this site that evokes such a powerful theme. The theme is so good that the arc of emotional tone is transcendent; the characters all seem introspective and aware of the importance of what they are witnessing. Every person who knows about the full spectrum of events in this story, from the living romance of the two (and then three) who felt its grace first, to the people who merely saw and understood. The simultaneity of sorrow and joy that they feel, the gentle, yet unrelenting, the heart-pounding, yet peaceful inevitability; it is all understood in the story, and the audience cannot help but know with them. Even the Goddesses see it, and respect it: The love that comes from a mortal life. The love that endures beyond death.

      This is a six-star story. One for each of the Elements of Harmony, self-evident within. Undying loyalty and kindness, quiet laughter and generosity, honest words that together are simply magical. All complete.

      ReplyDelete
    33. ChroniclerJuly 5, 2011 at 9:51 AM

      @DancingBlades15 Thank you, sincerely. I intend to, once I can coax my muse back. =)

      @BeeAre I'm still wiping my eyes here. I'm pleased it meant so much to you, but those words fail what I'm feeling. I really wish there were a way to transmit hugs via TCP/IP. So, uh. *hug*

      ReplyDelete
    34. A Terrible PersonJuly 8, 2011 at 3:22 PM

      Finally got around to reading this one. Incredible. Beautiful.

      ReplyDelete
    35. AnonymousJuly 9, 2011 at 7:17 AM

      Absolutely amazing.
      Love the storyline, the pace, the details included in the story.
      Your Sir/Mam are a pro!

      Thank you so much for sharing this!

      S@thi

      ReplyDelete
    36. ChroniclerJuly 9, 2011 at 9:13 AM

      *hug* Thank you both. I had thought to write a series of vignettes about Luna's history, but today I realized there's a story about a certain yellow pegasus that needs to be shared.
      I'll be sure to submit it once it's done.
      And again, to you all, thanks for your kindness - I've never seen such an outflowing of support for my work.

      ReplyDelete
    37. ChroniclerJuly 23, 2011 at 5:54 AM

      The new art is by a wonderful person who goes by CoconutJam on Deviant Art. Link to gallery is here: http://coconutjam.deviantart.com/gallery/

      ReplyDelete
    38. Present PerfectAugust 1, 2011 at 8:20 AM

      I initially began reading this on ponychan, then found out the rest had been posted here, and I'm finally finishing it up.

      This is not the most well-written story, perhaps, but its scope and vitality are unmatched in anything I've read on this site. The tale of two ponies, echoing across generations, populated by real, breathing characters, is simply stellar.

      Also, I particularly loved Apple Bloom's cameo. How this isn't 6 stars is beyond me.

      ReplyDelete
    39. DinXo FoxxOctober 16, 2011 at 12:25 AM

      I am lost for words, all I can really say is that this story is a masterpiece.

      Simply the best story I've ever had the pleasure of reading.

      ReplyDelete
    40. ChroniclerOctober 25, 2011 at 5:55 PM

      Thank you, DinXo. I'm surprised to find the story still making the rounds, but very grateful. =)

      ReplyDelete
    41. GlomkettleOctober 26, 2011 at 9:57 PM

      Seeing your newest story reminded me of this and I realized that I never commented here.

      So I guess I'll just add my voice to the masses and say that this story is beautiful. Makes me tear up every time I read it.

      ReplyDelete
    42. Twifight SparkillJanuary 13, 2012 at 4:14 PM

      Tears. Beautiful, thankful, emotional drops in appreciation of your fine work, Snarkle. My humble gratitude for sharing with us.

      ReplyDelete
    43. ChroniclerJanuary 16, 2012 at 10:31 PM

      Glom & Twifight

      Thank you both. I'm happy I was able to reach you in my own little way.

      ReplyDelete

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