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Author: Somber
Description: Rainbow Dash faces the preliminary try outs for the Wonderbolts.Thicker Than Water
Piece of cake, right? But when she has several unexpected visitors it
draws questions about her past and her future.
Additional Tags: Background, Drama, Somber making stuff up...
21 comments:
I liked it. Pretty solid fic, and I can see where Dash's attitude could come from the pressures of so many siblings.
ReplyDeleteTwi's letter at the end was a nice touch!
I rather liked this. Good work, not much to say that wasn't already said by Whiteout.
ReplyDeleteI liked this. Nice little backstory explaining Dash's personality, and the letter at the end was a really good idea.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, there were a couple of times where it was difficult to keep track of who was saying what during dialog; and a couple of times where it was difficult to understand who the story was being referring to.
Decently written, a bit muddled at times, but the backstory it gave Dash really, really, really, and I mean *really* carried it. By and far the best and most believable RD backstory I've ever read in a fic'.
ReplyDeletegave it 4 stars. I thought it held up really well, quite a few typos but that didn't bother me much. One thing I can say is that it feels like it only scratched the surface of Rainbow Dash's and Diamond Flash's interactions as sisters, they still have stuff to settle
ReplyDeleteI too like this story, I really could see how this might of shaped Dash's attitude. It would have to be considered more of a AU though since WOG (Faust) has stated Dash is an only child. However, Dash as the middle/lost child and wanting to be an individual rather than mistaken for one of her many sisters or having a name that was lot less than 20% cooler than "Rainbow" and resenting it does work.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this one, very enjoyable and it had a believable backstory for Dash.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are a few minor grammar errors and slip-ups with names, but honestly, those are only tiny gripes I had.
Good read, pace was decent but it felt a little too quick in some areas. A little too vague about what happened to Fluttershy's mother tbh.
ReplyDeleteVery great ending regarding Twilight's letter.
Fantastic. It's stories like these that make me hate the fact that at the end of the day great stuff like this isn't canon.
ReplyDeleteI have a neurosis about stories being too long. Might be due to an overzealous creative writing teacher. And I feel really bad about subjecting readers to a lot of my writing so I tend to what o get things done.
ReplyDeleteNothing bad to say. Very nice and touching short story. Always welcome, enjoyed it ^^
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes! I've been waiting for another one of your stories! And you owned it, very nice.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSorry. Brain was gray bubbly goo last night after reading Fallout:Equestria... all of it. Yeah... good reading tho. Brain is now a little more gelled after three hours of sleep.
ReplyDeleteThat last sentence on my previous post should read: I feel really bad about subjecting readers to a lot of my writing so I tend to hurry and cut back and get them done. After talking with Khat a little last night I'm going to try and stop freaking out about word counts and the like and just focus on good writing.
@Somber
ReplyDelete*Grin*
That is something else. All chapters? That took you a while I bet ^^ I remember the first chapter being uploaded... It was grimdark, but because it was also Fallout (and I love the first two games) I gave it a chance. Even though it took me quite a few chapters to realize, that was one of the best decisions I ever took.
@Baree
ReplyDelete12 hours. What really blew me away though was that I normally couldn't care less about Fallout. I got bored of both days. Khat actually made me CARE about the world though. She actually made me cry for Diamond Tiara. How do you cry for Diamond Tiara? But I did. That's how amazing the story is.
Hrum.... I think I'm going to write a different version of RD's background. I didn't know that Faust had said she's an only child and I want to keep it as true as possible.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteA different story alltogether then I assume? Since her large family is basically what this story is about.
Either way, I'll be looking forward to it.
The story was great, but the ending was much too fast. Dash's turn around can't be believable if all of her pent up anger towards her family disappears in 8 seconds. And then she gets in the zone? You talked about how you fear writing too much, but you are most certainly writing too little for the racing scene.
ReplyDeleteAlso, an emphasis on the family continually calling her Beryl would be funny and background development.
woot
ReplyDeleteStill, she would have done it perfectly without help... and without the distraction.
ReplyDeleteLoathsome people. So only after Dash became famous they recalled came back to keep on ruining her life.
You don't choose your family. Family is important. Sometimes, it's so important that it's essential to keep them away.
fuck. confound these ponies, they drive me to drink. Had to get myself a bottle of vodka, so much this upset me.
whoa...
ReplyDeletefamily is important,