[Sad][Grimdark] All hail our beloved leader! Please don't send me to the moon.
Author: MaskOfData
Description: Celestia is universally feared, a Tyrant in the truest sense. But she never tried to be, and it's the last thing so wants. And it's tearing her apart.The Sun Is Tired Part 1
The Sun Is Tired Part 2
The Sun Is Tired Part 3
The Sun is Tired Part 4
The Sun is Tired Part 5
The Sun is Tired Part 6
The Sun is Tired Part 7
The Sun is Tired Part 8
The Sun is Tired Part 8.5
The Sun is Tired Part 9 (New!)
Additional Tags: Tyrant, Rage, Anger, Despair, hopeless
510 comments:
I was wondering when somepony would try their hoof at this imma take a look
ReplyDeleteHmn like the idea but i will wait for a complete version.
ReplyDeleteA deconstruction of Trollestia? You got my attention.
ReplyDeleteOff to a brilliant start, please keep this up!! Can't say I've seen a fic yet addressing this sort of scenario, very interested. Well written too I reckoon :)
ReplyDeleteNow this is one Fun fic.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Continue this.
ReplyDeleteohhh i do so enjoy this more i say MORE
ReplyDeleteThey call her a tyrant so curel
let them curseher name
but remember the truth
Very fun fic. Looking towards the rest of the parts.
ReplyDeleteI liked it but.. the ending few paragraphs of the 2nd chapter seemed out of character. For everypony involved. :\
ReplyDeleteI am grinning like a maniac right now. I can really [i]feel[/i] Celestia's despair, and what I can see building up is just [i]delicious[/i].
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more.
This is good. Like, really, really good. The practical examination of the canon events of the show and how the cast responded to them (as well as a couple fanbase in-jokes being presented as if Celestia actually did them in an attempt to lighten the mood that went horrible wrong) really works, as does the examination of the personalities/actions of the Mane Six through Celestia's eyes.
ReplyDeleteI knew one of these kinds of stories would show up eventually, so I'm glad to see that this one is off to such a great start. I like the idea of Celestia being a tyrant for reasoning that is essentially beyond her control, because for some reason it just works (probably because it fits with her personality). I'll add this to my list.
Interesting take on Princess Celestia, the Light Bringer and Life Giver. Although I'd have to say I never got the vibe that the citizens of Equestria obeyed the Glorious Princess Celestia merely out of fear. I think it's more like Machiavelli pointed out, it's best to be both loved and feared, so Her subjects obey out of love and reverence, while they have a healthy respect and fear of her powers.
ReplyDeleteI really like the first chapter, and the first half of the second chapter, but frankly, even if the reactions of everyone else in universe could be justified, the reactions of the main 6, especially applejack and twilight are just far too forced and out of character for them. After all, as the embodiments of the EoH they would be far more likely to NOT react that way; especially considering how much effort was all ready made by Celestia throughout the season to get the others to lighten up.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I would imagine that your main problem is taking a good concept and taking it to repetitiously annoying extremes.
Gonna give this a read now. @author, I was the one brony in the IRC who preread this :)
ReplyDeleteLooks like you expanded it a bit, so I'll give it a look.
Well, damn. Now I feel awful about propagating all those trollestia memes. It's all in good fun, I swear! Celestia IS a mischief maker, but she's not cruel or a tyrant. She just wants to joke around and have fun. We all know that... right? ...right?
ReplyDeleteI hope this works out somehow... I'm a little disappointed that Applejack would mistrust Twilight so easily. Shouldn't the element of honesty be able to tell when her close friend is telling the truth?
ahaha your lucky mask!!!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason when I read it the first time the second chapter stopped right after Celestia forced the Royal Guards to leave, so I hadn't caught the bit that people were talking about above.
ReplyDeleteSo now that I've read the part with Applejack that wasn't there before, I kinda have to agree that it seems really odd and out of character for her to act that way towards Twilight. There is probably a way to justify Applejack's reaction (fear for Applebloom's safety, maybe?), but I'm hoping that future chapters don't have the rest of the Mane Six acting like Applejack did.
Sorry, gonna have to agree with everypony else. Applejack was being really irrational; she's the level-headed one of the group. Still an awesome story, and exactly the fourth time I've felt sorry for Celestia.
ReplyDeletegreat story. i cant wait for the rest :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I really didnt think AJ would be a pony to react like that
ReplyDeleteAwsome premise, but yeah AJ seemed a bit out of character in chapter 2. This has a lot of potential.
ReplyDeleteI disagree about Applejack and Twilight being out of character. The elements of harmony are more like 'personal characteristics' than some sort of "stronger than friendship" bond.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe Applejack was totally irrational. She had the sense to look out for Applebloom, and is terrified for her safety. She is also afraid of dying because of what it might do to Applebloom.
I'm stunned by the fic. The anime really does hint Celetria carries this kind of burden. Please update!
I'm the same way--Applejack doesn't seem like the person to just act like that. I could understand if, say, Applebloom or possibly even Big Macintosh were threatened ("No! Spare them, take me instead!", that sort of thing), although overall I have to admit that the basic premise is really intriguing.
ReplyDeleteI am really looking forward to see how the rest of these events unfold. :D
I´ve always wanted to read a story with this certain theme.
ReplyDeleteI love it and look forward to it! :D
@TenchiFreak5 and everybody else, really:
ReplyDeleteI actually feel the same way, and didn't really like my characterization of her after reading through again. After I submitted it, of course. Augh.
As such, chapter three is going to attempt to rectify this by going on a really long backstory trip. Hopefully, I can justify her actions while keeping everypony in character. It's not going to be easy, (especially since I suck at writing for Applejack,) but I think I can pull it off.
well i think the applejack part worked well. Isnt anyone remembering how she acted in bridle gossip. this is similar in my mind. Plus we already know shes stubborn and its hard to make her change her mind.
ReplyDeleteWell, the first step is admitting you could do better :)
ReplyDeleteA couple of tips though; First, write your chapter, then let it sit for a few hours before giving it a proofread. That will generally give you time to cool down from the writing mindset and come back to it with a critical one.
Two, if you feel that you are having trouble on something, ask around. I am under the impression that this site itself has a number of proofreaders that could probably give you some help and advice if you want it.
So despite the hiccups, good story so far and we eagerly await the next parts.
@ censored
ReplyDeleteI think you can do it. If it isn't obvious, I really like this story so far; so I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
@ Anonymous
In Bridle Gossip she was mistrusting (but still perfectly capable of facing her fears) of a complete stranger after an undetermined (but supposedly long) amount of time where everyone was telling nasty rumours about Zecora.
In this story she is mistrusting (and absolutely terrified) of one of her best friends after one day.
@(censored)
ReplyDeleteI really like the premise and characterization of Celestia. The average pony reaction is also fun. But...
Twilight is something like Applejack's second best friend (after Rainbow Dash) -- the amount of time Twilight spends on AJ's is higher than just about any other location. I'd suggest re-writing the second chapter with Applebloom being protective of Applejack, while Applejack tries to reassure her, and Big Mac helping. At least in front of Applebloom
Then, when Applebloom is out of earshot, Big Mac tells Applejack that he can surprise Twilight from behind and that Applejack can take Applebloom and make a run for it ... that he'll gladly take on Celestia's wrath for them.
By involving ponies related to the mane six, you still get the fear dynamic, but you lose the part where the mane six are scared witless.
I could buy it before the GGG, maybe after 'A Bird in the Hoof', but not after both.
As it stands, while I like the story and you've look forward to more, I worry what you'll do with Pinkie Pie.
Who, I might add, stole Celestia's cupcakes in 'A Bird in the Hoof'. Or Fluttershy, who never thought that she'd be in trouble with Celestia until Twilight started giving her ideas (and she was later assured by Celestia in a way that would make her fairly confident around our favorite Mom-God-Queen). The other characters, especially after the GGG, should also be far more comfortable with Celestia.
@mrscrib
ReplyDeleteI'm actually skipping the reactions of the other characters. Chapter 3 will still be written in 3rd person, but mainly through Applejack's point of view, picking up immediately after Twilight leaves. I'm going to give some backstory that, hopefully, would explain her actions.
The reactions of the other characters are going to be off-screen, but they will be better then Applejacks. I think I'm going to be able to give a good reason for her reaction, but I have no idea.
Are you going to update this every day?
ReplyDeleteCause at the top it says "Fic-a-day"
Hmmm ...
ReplyDeleteI really really like the idea of Celestia being tired and even terrfied by her own power, that's a interesting perspective, I like that a lot !
The first Chapter was really promising, but the second was ... well ... at times it pushed a little to hard, but at least it does create a really tense situation.
I don't exactly like where the story is going with Celestia being stripped of her power, but that's just my personal feeling about it, it's not my story of course.
I'm looking foward to read the other chapters as they are released.
I do think that the fear IS shown in the show, but that Applejack's seems at least a bit excessive - not her fear of Celestia, but its inexplicable spreading to Twilight.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYep. And when it's done, I'm writing more.
@Pandarsenic
ReplyDeleteOnce again, I agree. I think I can fix this with backstory, but I have no idea. Wish me luck, you'll find out tomorrow.
I agree with Dionysus about Celestia losing her powers... Well, her magical powers, that is. If there was a way for her to just run out and lose her political power.
ReplyDeleteAnd while I could see Applejack being scared, now that I kind of think about it, I agree with the others about how instantly she's afraid of Twilight. Part of me kind of wants to say there'd be more fight, too...
I think I missed it during the first readthrough because I was focused more on Celestia's emotions and reactions, and how another terrified pony would just make things worse? Hrm.
... I'm also surprised they left Apple Bloom crying and alone, thinking that her sister's going to die. >.> Then again, I suppose if Twilight said she wanted to bring Apple Bloom along, then there definitely would have been a fight.
All in all, though, I love the premise and I can't wait to read more! ... And dammit, I'm almost crying for Celestia. I haven't cried over a fic in ages! Confound this fandom...
Ohhh, this is a very interesting story.
ReplyDeleteThough it seems Celestia isn't actually being "stripped" of her powers; rather "relieved" as stated in the story.
That doesn't sound permanent to me, but who knows.
Is it bad that this story made me laugh? I mean an obey statue? Hahaha did not see that coming at all :) interesting theme though. Trollestia that doesn't want to be Trollestia.... Definitely will be watching.
ReplyDeleteCelestia being relived of her powers will only end in tears, I say. IN TEARS!
ReplyDeleteThat was one of the best stories I've read so far. Also, I did find that Applejack part believable in context. Oh, and Celestia talking about genocide really gave me the shivers. How did she even get that idea? I mean, how did she even come up with the concept of genocide? Have such things happened before in Equestria?
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the read. Applejack's reaction did grate on me a bit, but it was still a nice read. The reactions present in a Bird in the Hoof did seem rather extreme, and this is a nice companion to them. It could do with some explanation of Luna's reception as well. The fic mentions Luna's return redoubling fear for Celestia, but why Celestia doesn't confide in her own sister isn't explained, and neither is how the public treats Luna in comparison, which would be worthy material to write about in my opinion, even if only briefly. It seems as if alot of Celestia's problems would be solved just by someone publicly badmouthing her. Just walking right up and verbally going to town. I'm eager to see how this develops, however.
ReplyDeleteholy shit this is good! please continue with this!
ReplyDelete@MaskOfData Honestly, I think that the best way to deal with the issue is to just rework this chapter... When you already admit that you don't know a way to rectify the situation, don't try and patch it over, rework it from the get-go.
ReplyDeleteHave the family perhaps terrified, but have AJ wary, but trustful, of Twilight. You admitted the mistake, and this is a case where it -is- better to just excise the mistake then try to work around it.
@ a href #c479837278711775503 >Anonymous /a> I'm not sure wether someone publicly badmouthing Celestia would really solve her problems. For example: What if all other ponies demand out of fear that Celestia punishes the one who did that? If Celestia gives in to these demands, she will appear as a tyrant who oppresses opposition, and if she refuses, she will appear even more as a tyrant who ignores demands of the great majority. A double-bind like this could easily be imagined. There are even historical examples for things like this.
ReplyDelete@l0x0r
ReplyDeleteMachiavelli also said that everything he said in "The Prince" is stupid, aka everything else he wrote
A very few spelling issues in chapter two, but overall, I absolutely love this story.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that Applejacks reaction may be OOC for her. On the other hand, the whole premise of the story is a change from what we saw happen in the show, so I didn't find it nearly as grating as other readers have. I agree though that AJ probably'd put up a fight, unlike Fluttershy or perhaps Rarity. Or Pinkie; Imagine the impact of having a sad Pinkie tell Twilight in a falsely cheery voice that she's accepted the inevitable, and isn't blaming her. If you really feel like reworking the chapter, perhaps one of the other characters would be more to your liking? I don't really see a problem with chapter two, so I couldn't say^^
Now that I think about it, you shouldn't skip the other four girls. I realise that reading (and writing!) what is (perhaps) a similar encounter over and over might get old for some; perhaps give a short header that the chapters should be considered an optional read? It would be such a shame if you left them out. Emotional trauma is one of the main themes of this story, and the standoffs between Twilight and her best friends offer so many possibilities.
OK, I really like this interpretation of Celestia, and I think it fits with her portrayal on the show. She's got a crapload of power and responsibility, way more than she wants to have, and she tries to get her subjects to lighten up a bit with jokes. Unfortunately, she's got kind of a quirky sense of humor, so nobody gets it, and they just wind up scared because they think she's capricious. Honestly, her character here makes me think of an immortal Cincinnatus that got talked into taking up the reins of power; she tries her damnedest to do her best for the folks that depend on her, but she'd really rather live a quiet life somewhere, and she hates the fact that she's an object of such fear.
ReplyDeleteAs a side note, I think the solution Twilight came up with is the wrong one, but it's also totally in character for her to think of something like that. She's very bright and competent in a particular area, and she tends to think that there's a way to solve every problem with magic, so she tends to look to those solutions first and ignores other approaches. IMO, what Celestia really needs is a partner in crime; somepony who understands her sense of humor and can help with setting up and executing her pranks, and who isn't so threatening to the rest of the populace that they're afraid of laughing. Not Twilight, obviously, she's way too serious; Celestia needs her own version of Rainbow Dash or Pinkie Pie, at least IMO.
And I'm gonna break with the herd; I don't think Applejack's reaction was all that OOC. Take her wariness of Zecora and dial it up to 500. She was never all that sure of what Zecora could do, whereas she's *seen* how powerful Twilight is, and she *knows* that Celestia's orders of magnitude more powerful. I don't think that kind of paralyzing terror is OOC when faced with someone who could obliterate her with a thought.
Anyway, keep it up! I look forward to the next update!
@Ob1Kn00b
ReplyDeleteWell, I would, but you're not supposed to re-write already written stories. I have written a part of chapter 3 already (specifically, the part where I try to explain AJ's reaction)and I think it worked out pretty well.
It should be submitted to Seth sometime tonight/tomorrow morning.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI have actually decided to write the reactions of the other characters, but they will be different then AJ's. Especially Pinkie Pie. That's going to be fun to write. . .
Anyway, expect an update sometime soon.
I've really enjoyed reading this fic of your! And unlike the others, I didn't really mind AJ's reaction. It made me feel like there really was some really deep fearing of a god that was so taboo to speak of, yet so common that most people wouldn't show it til provoke by some way or other.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you showed AJ's stubborness quite well, too. Can't wait for the next chapter!
...ok... This isn't bad, per say, but...
ReplyDeleteThe part 1 was good, but part 2...
Considering all the trust things involved in the series and from Episode 1 and 2... well... the whole *SUPER-OVERREATING-DUPER-MUCH-A-BIT-CRAZY* of Applejack is pretty annoying.
Oh, I get the whole ''Goddess/Royalty'' being seen as a threat and a tyrant, yeah, Part1 was good with that... yeah... but the MEGA-overreacting of Part2 is WAY too much, like spread on a few meters thick.
Just need a better, more ''reasonable'' balance with their reactions.
Well, if the episode "Bridle Gossip" has taught us anything, it's that AJ isn't exactly the most reasonable pony at times. I would personally give that title to Twilight, and even she collapsed under the pressure of hurtful gossip.
ReplyDeleteIt says in chapter one that people were getting suspicious of Twilight being a spy ever since she received no punishment at the Grand Galloping Gala. I'm assuming that those suspicions would include the others in the mane cast.
I wouldn't be surprised if AJ hadn't talked to the others about Twilight's situation of Celestia being in her house before hiding out in her own basement with AppleBloom. It also wouldn't surprise me if talking to her other friends simply reinforced the rumors about Twilight and made her irrationally scared of her, much like their reaction to Zecora the whole time.
Because of that, I personally don't see why AJ's reaction would be that far out of character. But again, that's just me.
@supervanman64
ReplyDeleteThanks. I hope to flesh out everypony's reactions to the entire thing in the upcoming chapters. I hope I can do a good job...
Excellent, excellent read so far. Can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteFinally a story that doesn't try to make me hate Celestia.
ReplyDeleteFan-tucking-brilliant.
ReplyDeleteWhile it may seem odd, for AJ to react how she did, it's not unthinkable. She was scared spitless of Zecora from simple rumour, and once she has an idea in her head, it'd take a piledriver to get it out. Plus, she's acting honestly in that she IS scared.
No way in the seven hells Dash'd act like that though. Loyalty and all that.
This is not sad. This is comedy. Why is it tagged sad?
ReplyDeleteEagerly, Eagerly awaiting part three of this Story. And news on a potential Update?
ReplyDeleteI.
ReplyDeleteLove.
This.
Story.
I wish writers would just finish all the chapters before uploading. The wait is paaaaaiiiiinful D=
But I think writers do that just to keep us in check. Don'tcha? Haha, so evil.
But seriously, this is an amazing story, and it makes me want to give Celestia a hug =)
@Jesse and kujiiro:
ReplyDeleteI'm submitting it to Seth sometime tonight. I would have done it yesterday, but I decided to re-write a bit.
I am so looking forward to part 3. This is a brilliant piece. I feel so bad for Celestia. :<
ReplyDelete@MaskOfData:
ReplyDeleteMost excellent. X3
I'm so glad I took the time to read this. Painting Trollestia as a tragic character and actually pulling it off? Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed the first chapter. Poor Celest is just trying to share her quirky sense of humor with her subjects and teach them that there's no reason for them to be afraid of her. Yet her plans continue to backfire at every turn. Made me laugh and sympathetic at the same time.
However I do agree with what the others have already stated. Chapter two isn't as well written and the characterization isn't as solid.
I'm not so sure if Applejack is the one who went out of character though. She was a little hasty in assuming her friend had suddenly transformed into Celestia's high inquisitor, sure. Though I seem to remember her shaking with fear and holding onto Applebloom for dear life in Bridle Gossip in a scene that precisely mirrors what you wrote.
Twilight on the other hand... "Hell, who was she kidding. She was letting Celestia stay. She had never seen a pony so broken before." She just wouldn't think that way. Remember, the sole reason she wanted to go to the Gala was for a chance to talk with the princess for only a couple of hours. Celestia is her hero and I'm sure she'd jump at a chance to offer her bed to the sun goddess (no shipping intended, I promise, pinkie swear).
Also Celestia swearing at the waiter in chapter one seems a little odd to me. I can accept that your version of her is not a very clever pony, but the one thing Celest seems really good at is keeping a straight face and a good appearance. She's had centuries of practice, after all.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, she was mainly worried about the rumors that would arise. If you needed the "No Shipping" Disclaimer, imagine what other ponies would do.
You get a taste of said rumors in chapter 4.
Lol, funny part 3.
ReplyDeletePinkie Pie as always, so RANDOM.
Nice job!
Chapter 3 is good. It's a good point how Celestia could make Rarity insanely popular or ruin her just by an off-handed comment about her clothes.
ReplyDelete@DJ Kat
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone. When fanfic is good, chapters always seems short. Even in Fallout: Equestria they're short =)
I'm skipping out on this one, even though I love me some Celestia. I just can't picture her being seen as a Tyrant. Ponies frigging love her.
ReplyDeleteDon't do it bro, even after some shakinness in the second chapter, this is shaping up to be a solid read.
ReplyDeleteAnd there is a certain amount of fear in there too, ya gotta admit.
Apart from how they're terrified of her, in show?
ReplyDeleteHehehe, rhubarb. That does explain Applejack's behavior...
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand celestia's feelings. after reading 1+2 I watched all episodes with her in it. In every one she leaves when the bowing gets over-whelming. really this is clever, funny, and genius. please comment back MaskofData. I will kill you if you don't! Know who I am? I'm your #1 fan. You rock!
ReplyDeleteCelestia, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad, I never even thought that you're evil, it was just funny to think that you are evil and only acting good! I know and knew that you were actually good and I mean it in the most sincere way! Please don't be sad, because that will make me sad! *hug*
ReplyDelete"Oh I accused my best friend of trying to murder me for her sun goddess-because I got high.~" The rhubarb made me laugh out loud, I'll admit it. Bic Mac crying was a pretty painful visual, too.
ReplyDeleteHavent read the fic, but I simply can't get enough of that picture, probably my favorite!
ReplyDelete... I'm still convinced this is comedy.
ReplyDeleteRhubarb is the devil!
ReplyDeletewe must protect our children from the Rhubarb!
:p
I like it, I like it a lot. I think the 'sad' tag is a little much, but overall, a very interesting fic.
ReplyDeleteThe idea from the very beginning is brilliant, in fact. The observation of how if one is viewed as a tyrant that it's near impossible to lose that status is simple but very well-done. And everything from there...spot on, dear sir, spot on. I look forward to the next chapter (and every one after that, of course)
Applejack's explanation worked pretty well, I suppose. I was more interested in the same thing Celestia was as AJ was talking, though, regarding who would go out of their way to beat up Mac's friend just for disagreeing with Celestia.
ReplyDeleteDoes fear truly run that deep in Equestria that people take it upon themselves to commit violence to silence rebels out of fear of association?
Or, even worse, do people admire Celestia so much that they twist Celestia's ideas and opinions into terrorism without her knowledge?
The fear aspect has been obvious from the start, but this was the first chapter that I've started to get the implication that the second option (the fanaticism/extremism) may also be present in Equestria.
As for the rest of the chapter, I liked Rarity's reason for fearing Celestia. It wasn't so much a fear of Celestia so much a fear of Celestia's influence, and I think that fear of that nature fits quite well as being something Rarity would worry about.
And Pinkie's reaction was about perfect.
Oh, this is absolutely priceless! I am loving this more than anything I've read in weeks. I have laughed, a lot. I'm generally not a fan of Celestia, but this portrayal turns my expected kind of material and characterization on its head and I couldn't be happier with it. Three chapters in, and I must congratulate this MaskOfData author individual for such amazing work. I can't wait for the rest so bad I literally can't sit still.
ReplyDelete@NinesTempest
ReplyDeleteIt's kinda both.
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteOh, trust me, you see more pony vigilantes. A lot more.
@K
ReplyDeleteWell, thank you!
(If you really want to read more early, I generally post it in EqD chat as I write. Check in sometime.)
I had a huge post typed out for this where I explain why I liked the original better than this rhubarb thing.
ReplyDeleteThen Blogger ate it.
Grrrrrrr.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think something funky has happened to the ratings. I have ratings on fanfics I've never read and non-ratings on stuff I know I've read and rated, like this story. Like, the ratings all shifted or something.
ReplyDeleteRhubarb does taste pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteI really love this story, it really does tie in with things I've seen in the show. Especially in "Bird in the Hoof", where the Cakes are terrified of offending Celestia. I do have one concern. I don't know exactly what the author has in mind to help Celestia, but the current implication is to remove Celestia's powers over the sun. Personally, I recommend against it. Any temporary removal of her magic will only have a temporary effect on her subjects. Thus, any effects will vanish quickly when her powers return.
ReplyDeleteOne idea is one I read in another fanfic, to give Celestia the ability to suppress her powers and revert to a smaller pony form. That way, she can be seen without being recognized and perhaps unwind somewhat.
Oh, yes. In part 2, Twilight comments that Celestia has slept for most of a day. So who set the sun and rose it again? Or did the sun stay up for 24 hours? I personally think that Celestia has no choice but to raise and lower the sun, so she would have been compelled to wake up just long enough to do so.
ReplyDeleteGrimdark!? Shit, that wasn't there before.
ReplyDeleteOh, for crying out loud... grimdark tag now? Why do you do this to me?
ReplyDeleteSo the "two bloodied bodies" as the end. Does that mean Fluttershy was beaten up too?
ReplyDeleteManure just got SO real.
ReplyDeleteOh snap, Snowflake's gonna get owned.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow, talk about a lose/lose situation for Celestia.
ReplyDeletenot good right now someone's gunna get pwned (snowflake)
ReplyDelete"Sometime today" my hoof.
ReplyDeleteThe new tag doesn't fit the picture, I think you should change it. Maybe Celestia rage?
And then Snowflake was exploded. Twice.
ReplyDeleteokay, i have two criticisms.
ReplyDeletethe first is with what celestia is planning to do. i get her wanting to not have all of this power over people, but why is she trying to lose her connection to the sun? shouldn't she be doing something like trying to set up a senate based government across equestria or something, so that people can replace her power as the queen? and isn't removing her power over the sun kind of going to fuck over everybody on the planet, since she is what keeps the sun cycle in place?
my second complaint is the reaction from snowflake. i know that the public is supposed to have this sort of paranoid, police-state mentallity, so they overeact, but this is just riddiculous. fluttershy says that celestia pulled a prank once, and that gets her and rainbow dash LYNCHED? that's kid of pretty overblown.
@TenchiFreak5 Yeah, but it's the third time that'll really make a mess...
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous
ReplyDeleteFirst complaint: She already tried that. In Chapter One she said she attempted to set up a democratic government, and the populace took it as an attempt by Celestia to weed out people who weren't loyal to her so it collapsed.
Second complaint: I dunno. Mob mentality being what it is doesn't make me think that the reaction was overblown.
@Baree and @Baree
ReplyDeleteIt's mild. I just thought the angry mob warranted it.
@ryan
ReplyDeleteI wrote it that day. It just took seth that long to post. I'll start on 5 tonight.
Oh wow....
ReplyDeleteOk, upgrading this from 4 to 5 stars
Is it okay that shot back in horror a little bit after imagining a beaten and bloodied Fluttershy?
ReplyDeleteWell, I thought it was going to take a little upturn after everyone had gotten gathered, but...
ReplyDeleteI guess I was wrong. XD I hope Dash and Fluttershy aren't too beaten up... ;o;
Should be fun to watch Celestia nuke some jerk ponies though.
Oh shit, son, you gonna get nuked.
ReplyDeleteIs ... is there something worse than being put on moon duity? Because I'm pretty sure those responsible for harming Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are gonna get it.
ReplyDeleteMy question is this .. who will bring the pain harder after seeing Rainbow Dash's and Fluttershy's state? Celestia or Twilight Sparkle?
ReplyDeleteOooooh someone's gonna get it.
ReplyDeleteIs it bad I wanna see this pony get blown up for hurting two of the best ponies?
"Is ... is there something worse than being put on moon duity? Because I'm pretty sure those responsible for harming Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are gonna get it." I find these responses amusing, given the context of the story.
ReplyDelete@supervanman64
ReplyDeleteNope, I'm sure between the 1000 years of suppressed rage that Celestia has and no doubt the unabashed whirlwind of emotions Twilight Sparkle once she sees her friends beaten down. There won't be anything left of Snowflake.
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteand then sent to the moon
I get the feeling Celestia is going to try and go against impulse on wanting to exact revenge for RD and Fluttershy, but rather scold Snowflake something fierce since she's trying her best to show she isn't about capitol punishment .. or lunar punishment as it may be.
ReplyDeleteStill grinning like a maniac over here.
ReplyDeleteKeep it coming MaskOfData, I'm really enjoying this.
O_o' Snowflake....you're screwed, my friend.
ReplyDeleteHolly shit, the last part... :> I even forgive you that it was this short, all that matter is the last bit it was http://ganton3.deviantart.com/art/INSTANT-RAINBOWDASH-Flash-211317101 !
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, enraged Celestia is best Celestia! ... Actually, I prefer her when she's happy, because that makes me happy, so happy Celestia is best Celestia, but enraged Celestia is epic Celestia!
I expect solar-flare-laser-beams in the next chapter or I am dissapoint
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteCelestia = Goddess
Fear = Fuck's people up
OK, elaborating on my comment from 4:16 PM:
ReplyDeleteThis is totally lose/lose for Celestia. No matter what she does, it will reinforce her image as a ruthless tyrant. Obliterates the mob? Sends Mr. Snowflake to the moon, then sends the moon to the Sun? Violent, terrible dictator. *Doesn't* obliterate, moon, etc.? Tacitly approves of mob justice. And might moon/sun you if you *don't* engage in it.
I love this fic.
Oh, and as a side note, the image of the light from the Sun reflecting off the moon turning red because Celly's pissed beyond endurance, with her voice booming out of the sky? Freaking. Awesome.
I'm just hoping this isn't another fic where Dash dies.
Personally to drive the point home I'd love to see the now battered and bloodied FS and RD do something akin to realizing they're before Celestia and eventhough their hooves are too weak to presently support their own weight, with a look of distinct fear from the beatings try to bow and apologize to Celestia. Just to .. y'know further screw over Snowflake as she probably treasures them just as she does Twilight Sparkle. Why not add more conflict and suffering?
ReplyDeleteI'm liking the story, but I do think a double homicide over calling Celestia a prankster seems a little excessive. I would assume they would take them alive anyway. After all, their all supreme Ruler should be the one choosing the punishment.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, in the next chapter keep them alive (it's only implied they're dead, not a given), but badly beaten.
Okay... as it opened, the concept was good. But seriously, You've pushed the fear of the people bit too far.
ReplyDeleteFirst off it's sensible that many would fear her... but there would be just as many who irrationally ADORE her, too. She's never done ANYTHING, not so much as a single execution, to make people fall apart in hysterics like that. The mane six have sat around eating DONUTS with the Princess, for crying out loud.... their fear is forced and grossly out of character. And the last chapter, with the pegasi going into kill-crazy hysteria because two of the Princess's closest acquaintances mentioned she seemed like a normal person under it all... over the top? Over the top and clear down the other side.
Sounds like someone is middle class.
ReplyDeleteMan, this story's getting good! I can't wait for the next part!
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous and @ Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI suggest you (and anyone with similar complaints) read the novel The Wave, which was a somewhat fictionalized account of a high school experiment conducted in the late 1960s in order to teach the students exactly what was happening in Nazi Germany by putting them through the same thing.
True Fascism (and the entire point of this story is that Celestia is an unwilling head of what is essentially a Fascist government), be it caused by fear of the government or by admiration of the government, is an absolutely terrifying thing because of what it does to people's minds and causes them to do; and if anything MaskOfData has been playing it safe and treating the concept with kid gloves.
Not that I want this story to dive off the GrimDark slippery slope, I feel I should add.
ReplyDeleteI think the tone that it has now is just about perfect.
First chapter was fairly accurate in character. Second chapter had a couple of rough patches with Twilight and AJ.
ReplyDeleteWith the fourth chapter, the fear from the pegasus were clearly unjustified. If its Fluttershy's opinion, then certainly she would be taking the blame...not some group happening to be in proximity to them.
There's also Celestia's reaction to Fluttershy and Dash being tied up. "What have you done?" Seems very awkward. It feels like yelling directed at nothing in particular.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteShe might assume they're dead or something, and therefore is ridiculously angry that two ponies were killed, or brutally beaten, for saying they "didn't like her." After the first three chapters, that's DEFINITELY not what she wants. I think it's justified.
And I agree with Tenchi. I like where this is going (but my god short chapters).
I too would like it if the next chapter was a little longer, that way we can have more build up and get more done .. I loved the newest chapter but it ended not even so much a cliffhanger as it ended abruptly.
ReplyDelete..... Oh dear, fairwell Snowflake we knew ye as a Jerk and soon you shall be a Carbon smear on the ground. If your lucky.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who thinks it'd be hilarious to have Applejack who's there and seeing her friendly rival and probably the one friend of her's who wouldn't raise a hoof to even a fly loose her temper at the perpetrators who dare lay hoof on them both in a whirlwind of rage? Or ala Leeroy Jenkins?
ReplyDeleteChapter 4 was a littl escort for my liking... But I can forgive you for that because of the first 3 amazing chapters :) and the hope that Celestia will go crazy.
ReplyDeleteReally long response comment, GO!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
Nope, that means I did my job.
@Anonymous
Oh, yeah. The only reason I haven't written part 5 is because I need to think of a suitable torture.
@Anonymous
No clue, as of yet.
@Anonymous
Hm. She's a but angry right now. Not thinking clearly.
@Anonymous
I wouldn't kill Dash. Probably.
@Anonymous
Hm. I might do something of the sort. No idea, though.
@Frybrain
I don't know if they're dead yet. I need to decide.
@Anonymous
Mob mentality, my friend. I've experienced it first hand. Took me a while to get over that (And no, I am not elaborating.)
@Anonymous
Again, mob mentality. Trust me, it does crap like this to normally nice people.
@NinesTempest
The next chapter will be longer, I promise!
@Anonymous
By the time AJ gets there, I'm not sure if they're will be anything left of snowflake and the other to hurt.
i expect that whole crowd of ponies (mainly snowflake but a couple dozen otherrs would be nice) be be slaughtered. please do :)
ReplyDeleteWhy is it only after reading Celestia question why she even uses a chariot make me link her to Apollo? That should have been a more obvious joke.
ReplyDeleteFluttershy was one of the two ponies who lay "bloody and battered"... Alright Celestia, time to earn your title of ruthless overlord! Drop a train on their asses!
ReplyDelete"You know, my dear subject, usually I only teach unicorns... but here's a lesson for you: SNOWFLAKES DO MELT."
ReplyDeleteSPOILERS
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
Oh, I really want to use that, but I've already written his death.
@Tast
Train isn't epic enough. Ass is still kicked, however.
A bit short to be honest, but I honestly can't wait for the next update.
ReplyDelete"Snowflake, bro? You dun fucked up."
Also, MaskOfData! I have a suitable torture! Have her telekinetically break every bone in his body. Sloooooowly
ReplyDeleteI can just see a side pony realizing the pure unadultarated rage in her eyes and nudging Snowflake and saying "You know that thing with Nightmare Moon ... and that part where she sent her to the moon? I think she's got something worse in store for you ..."
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteif I may make an amendment, to be more realistic .. I'd see Dash groveling in fear and sputtering/stammering out an apology while fluttershy tries to repeatedly get up to bow only to fall repeatedly while trying to do her best to avoid direct eye contact. After all she if at all conscious would retreat further into her shell and think that hate filled gaze and loud bellow of rage was directed at Dash and Herself. if she did try to speak out she'd just try and throw herself under the bus to keep Dash "safe" from Celestia's wrath.
I predict that funny stuff will happen in the next chapter, we well also probably see some of this strange red liquid that keeps life flowin...
ReplyDelete(I guess that's why the story is now labeled as GrimDark too)
@Frybrain
ReplyDeleteI think they're not dead, but damaged instead ("two familiar ponies lay, bloody and battered").
Also, I believe that, unlike the ending of the second episode, in which AJ was completely out of character, this fourth part is not in any kind of way "over the top", as the fanatism is part of the story itself.
I very much enjoy this fic as a deconstruction and can only hope it maintains this balance between dark comedy and grimdark.
ReplyDeleteI would say it went off on a tangent with the predicament concerning Dash & Fluttershy... except it's more realistic than if the pegusi mob had dismissed them. Completely believable situation. Celestia can't even get the closest ponies she can call friends in private without her subjects battering them into a bloody mess.
ReplyDeleteSnowflake, you dun goof'd. Celestia maaad.
I actually find all of these calls for blood to be ironic considering the story seems to be meant as a criticism of such more rule (unless MaskofData is playing a really clever trick on us all...). Amazing what hurting Fluttershy can do to a group of people.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I personally wrote that I hope the character in question gets exploded twice, so perhaps I'm simply a giant hypocrite.
Most of you seem to be focusing on the banishment/beatdown treatment and forgetting that she controls the sun.
ReplyDeleteI imagine a pissed off sun goddess could get pretty damn creative with superheated solar plasma.
Yes there are calls for blood. Those idiots HURT FLUTTERSHY, that is a death sentance worth crime in most folks eyes.
ReplyDeleteNow I would appove of the Princess not blasting Snowflake to a random scattering of carbon atoms and simply punishing him to the fullest extent of the law but well, dude just really hurt two folks the Princess counts as friends (mostly) in her name. This is on the tail end of her nearly having a break down... by the laws of this narrative it is going to end very BADLY for him and anypony in with in 20 YARDS of em. Not that I mind over much cause this guy DID hurt two innocent ponies for no good reason but for the fact that Celestia will probably feel bad about it afterward and/or go Completely monster mode.... Hmmm How do ya say Tyrant Star in Latin? cause that would be a cool name I just know it. Sol Tyranicus?
the 4th part was really neat, sick but neat.
ReplyDeleteand the ending. Wooaah! made me shiver.
SPOILERS FOR PART 5
ReplyDeleteyou have been warned
@TenchiFreak5
Well, that's sort of the point. Celestia does kill Snowflake. This only serves to further her image as a tyrant, and make her question if it's true.
(And yes, hurting Fluttershy pisses a lot of people off. Including Celestia.)
SPOILERS FOR PART 5
ReplyDeleteyou have been warned
@TenchiFreak5
Well, that's sort of the point. Celestia does kill Snowflake. This only serves to further her image as a tyrant, and make her question if it's true.
(And yes, hurting Fluttershy pisses a lot of people off. Including Celestia.)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@ MaskOfData
ReplyDeleteAhhh. I think I know what your ultimate plan is. I had suspicions, but more hints never hurt.
I simply love it when stories are written well enough that I can try to guess what the author intends to do with them.
So, it's too late for me to say that killing Snowflake is way out of bounds, when her SISTER was trying to kill the planet and got banishment instead?
ReplyDeleteBecause that's what Faust claimed eternal night would have meant.
And I find this continued call for blood disturbing, to say the least. Forgiveness for everyone, except for hurting Fluttershy. Yay.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, Celestia grew up with Luna. She's never seen snowflake before.
@MaskOfDataYeah, I know that; It's playing favorites, and completely believable. Luna is her sister, after all, and Snowflake is a nopony.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't trying to say that this development is out of bounds for the story; I worded that poorly, my apologies. what I meant was that it would be highly hypocritical of Celestia. Unfortunately, hypocrisy is a fact of life.
History is written by the winners and all that.
ReplyDeleteNot really the same situation. Luna got harmony'd before she could actually do any damage, and she was, ya know, kind of loco in the coco at the time. Snowflake here is quite sane, but has submitted to mob mentality and has literally just thrown the battered, possibly dead bodies of two innocent ponies at Celestia's door.
ReplyDeleteDude's due some divine retribution.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure to, hum, ''appreciate'' the current direction (of the ponies) of the story...
ReplyDeleteThe ponies aren't just fearing Celestia, the way it is presented...
Really, it's more like everypony's mind was put in a bath of acid and that they are all part of some weird underground brainwashed overzealous group of cult fanatics...
There's (or should be) a TINY difference, me think, between fearing a Royal-Goddess, and being completely coo-coo-crazy-cult-fanatics ?
@AnonymousI have to disagree somewhat; Snowflake didn't strike me as particularly sane, more like seriously unbalanced.
ReplyDeleteAnd Nightmare Moon shot lightning at some guardponies, sicked an enraged Manticore at the main six, and tried to throw them off a cliff.
It's true that what he (and the others) did deserves punishment, but killing him doesn't leave the option of redemption. Luna was forgiven for allmost killing everypony. Treating him so markedly different would show favoritism. I'm not saying that this will will make the story look bad, because partiality is a sad fact of life; Rather it will make Celestia look bad.
He is also in the unenviable position of triggering the wrath of a thousand years of pent-up frustration. As far as I can tell, his death won't be solely because of what he did, but also because Celestia is going to vent her rage on him. She's going to snap, and in the process snap him as well. Is that fair? I think not.
@TenchiFreak5
Was that directed at my post? If so, what exactly did you mean by that?
Panicked, paranoid and irrational does not an unbalanced pony make. He's still capable of stepping back and looking at his actions objectively, if he has the will to, but that's just it; he was 'defending' Celestia, How can he question something that, his environment and probably his upbringing have taught him just cannot be wrong?
ReplyDeleteLuna was forgiven because she was nuts when she did all those things (which didn't actually come to anything anyway, save for maybe a few guards getting slapped around, but they're guards, they get paid for that stuff.) and had already served a 1000 year sentence.
If you're trying to equate the two situations, Celestia would have had to catch a clearly deranged and power-mad Snowflake, showing clear intent to cause harm and attempting to but before he actually could then be harmony'd back to sanity.
In Luna's case, her whole everlasting night escapade would have had to go on long enough to actually hurt (or, depending on how seriously injured Rainbow and Fluttershy are, kill) somepony, and she would have had to do it when she was Luna, and not Nightmare Moon, because - and I apparently cannot stress this point enough - she was completely balls-to-the-wall batshit insane when she tried to do that.
Good grief, I didn't mean to type that much.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell, I'd say that's pretty much exactly what an unbalanced pony makes, but you are right about Luna having been totally crazy as Nightmare Moon. As well, you have claimed that he has absolutely no reason to believe what he did was wrong- and he will never be able to make a better decision next time around, because he will be DEAD.
I'm not saying what he did was right, or that he shouldn't face some sort of punishment, but that eye for an eye isn't how pony justice usually works. If it did, what would the punishment for attempted overthrow of a Princess, and attempted murder of everything be? Remember, her 1000 year banishment wasn't what Celestia intended in the first place (in this story at least). She wanted to banish her only for a single (!) year, the order if magnitude Luna's exile actually lasted was a mistake on Celestia's part. If she kills Snowflake now, she will have become exactly the tyrant everpony believes her to be.
It's understandable. It's relatable. But it's not right either.
@ Anonymous
ReplyDeleteIt was just a general comment that I thought was relevant to what you said about the hypocrisy of the situation.
@TenchiFreak5
ReplyDeleteThank you for clearing that up!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SNOWFLAKE IS GONNA GET HIS AS KICKED ON AN ASTRONOMICAL LVL. FIRST BY THE SUN! THEN THE MOON! THEN CELESTIA! THEN ALL THREE AT ONCE!! HORY SHEET
ReplyDeleteFUCK. ALWAYS WITH ME AND FICS JUST AS THEY GET GOOD.
ReplyDelete*facekeyobard*
Ahem.
ReplyDeleteYes, brilliant work. I shall eagerly await more, dear sir.
...
F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5F5
The only thing that has my head spinning is... what if (considering RD and FS survive) they do get to strip Celestia from much of her power? Won't the people of Equestria take advantage to kill her in her weak state, believing (blindly) that the tyrant (which of course we know she isn't) is now capable of being executed easily?
ReplyDeleteThen again, Luna would still have the powers of an alicorn so the ponykind could think of Luna still having power similar to Celestia and who could retaliate and become Nightmare Moon again as vengeance and stuff... honestly, my mind is running wild with WMGs.
I need more of this story. Nice work, MaskOfData.
For awhile I wondered why it was posted GrimDark when it was pretty tame till that part where Fluttershy and Dash got mobbed but those psycho ponies.
ReplyDeleteI really didn't think I was going to like this at first but it grew on me fast.
Keep up the good work but slow down a bit, almost felt like you were rushing a bit on that last chapter and made some simple mistakes more so then any other chapter.
Nice to read all these stories and how people perceive how the characters would react in certain situations.
-------
Probably the WRONG place to post this but here goes: I never thought Fanfics from a show like FiM would be worth reading, and fact I read 10 comedies, 4 sads, and this 'GrimDark'.
I have to say you fan writers are pretty awesome for creating such fun works and willing to share with everyone your fanworks.
And thank you Equestria Daily for giving people with such imagination and love for these ponies a place to easily share with the world =3
All the fan stuff makes waiting on Season 2 so much more forgiving as a lot of the stories so far I've read felt like I watched a new one every time I clicked on a story link.
Wow I think we are about to witness the birth of Nightmare Sun.
ReplyDeleteCelestia: "You foolish ponies. You want a tyrant? I'll give you a tyrant!"
This is an interesting turn of events. I see Celestia releasing all her pent up frustration and rage on Snowflake and then immediately regretting it. If the Sun reacts to her emotions will it turn cold and dim if she becomes really sad and depressed? Like say after vaporizing some poor diluted pony and truly cementing herself as a Tyrant?
To those that say that the reaction of Snowflake and the other Pegasus is unrealistic, Remember mob mentality can make otherwise rational people do crazy things. Combined with extreme fanaticism (even if Celestia never intended for it to exist) makes for a destructive combination.
@Crimson Valor
ReplyDeleteI already posted a link to the Work In Progress part 5 on ponychan, if you want to find it.
Well, I wanted sun-related destruction of Snowflake, and that's what I got.
ReplyDeleteI do believe I am satisfied XD
WHAT??? The chapter's over already??? All we got was an event everyone saw coming and the knowledge that Rainbow and Fluttershy just got badly beaten, not killed (which most saw coming)! It can't be OVER!!!
ReplyDeletei like his death...tho maybe the whole mob shoulda been killed....but anyway please dont let flutter and rainbow die :/
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI always give Seth a new chapter within a day of the old one. As a result, short chapters, but frequent updates.
Snowflake is a faggot for making RD cry.
ReplyDeleteHe got what he deserved; FS didn't even say anything directly bad about Celly anyway...
@NinesTempest Well, now he's a dead faggot. Good enough for you?
ReplyDeleteFor a moment I was scared that you'd had it so that RD could never fly again instead of just being grounded for a while.
ReplyDeleteEveryone always bullies Rainbow Dash.
I tell you one good thing about chapter 5 aside from settling the dust from the fourth and of course setting up Celestia up for some major stress and psychological trauma I have to say was the destruction of Snowflake. Not so much because I had much rage for fluttershy (poor girl got messed up bad) or Rainbow Dash (though she holds top spot with Trixie) it's because I had my question answered. I asked, "is there something worse then moon duty?" and boy is there! and once more I've read this chapter 4 times, each time listening to new music. First time was listening to "The end of days" by Electric Nine and fourth has been using the Madoka OST. Both fit so well. Anyways I ramble on. Keep up the good work Mask!I cannot wait to see what you have in store for chapter 6! I hope next chapter we get Twilight Sparkle's, AJ's, Pinkie's and Rarity's take on this matter of most public of executions. I also hope we'll get to hear more from Fluttershy's end once she's in a better condition.
ReplyDelete@Thesyn: I don't think they ALL should die. I mean, Snowflake was the one that rounded and riled up to hurt RD and FS.
ReplyDeleteI think his death will certainly act as an example to the rest of the pegasi (and word will get out to all other ponies, probably, too) to never pull crap like that ever again.
alright. ill say it.
ReplyDeleteI could have done worse to snowflake than a mere solar flare. try slowly filling him with the same amount of voltage as ED's pageviews. much more satisfying for causing the damage to fluttershy imo.
err amendment on the band: Electric Six. sorry about that
ReplyDeleteYou know, considering all the calls for the hot, solar death of Snowflake for hurting Fluttershy, I'm surprised none of you have commented on the possibility that she is now quite likely paralyzed. Nevermind Dash not being able to fly for a while, Fluttershy may not even be able to walk again.
ReplyDeleteYESSSSSSS!
ReplyDeleteYESSSSSSSSSSS!
Solar Flare Laser Beams.... I am not dissapoint!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThat is... looking to be the case.
Eugh. This story is going in many many directions.
Wow. Chapter 5 works really well with the story. It shows that Celestia is aware that she overstepped her boundaries. Way overstepped them; She became what she was afraid of, and there is no going back now, because taking a life is as final as it gets.
ReplyDeleteI also like how Rainbow is shocked to hear what Celestia did, as she knew another side of Snowflake we the readers were not privy too before; A side that no-one will have the chance to see now. If he was indeed generally a nice pony, others will probably grief. In secret. Because lamenting him openly will (in their minds) draw Celestia's wrath as well, twisting the knife further.
Lastly, it's depressing how many posters seem to get off on bloody retribution. For the life of me, I cannot understand it, especially since (to me) it runs counter to the whole point of the story.
Ah well. Some people like tales of revenge, I can't stand them. To each his or her own, I guess...
And poor Fluttershy isn't exactly the most physically durable of the mane six, even she is able to walk again, she may have some life long injuries that will keep her from walking comfortably or unassisted. Top that with her overactive self esteem issues and consonance, she's likely to also blame herself for Celestia snapping and hold herself responsible for her injuries, Rainbow Dash's injuries and Snowflake's death. Just to weigh more on the mind for poor Celestia.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeletehey remember what that anon said about mob mentality and fascism turning generally well-minded people into something awful??
@ Anonymous
ReplyDelete"Lastly, it's depressing how many posters seem to get off on bloody retribution. For the life of me, I cannot understand it, especially since (to me) it runs counter to the whole point of the story."
That's exactly why MaskOfData did it. And it was a brilliant way of writing the scene. Probably the single best way the scene could have been written, in fact.
Bravo, MaskOfData. Bravo.
Very good story so far. Part 5 is epic.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI think people just wanted bloody retribution because in hurting fluttershy, it akin is like beating an innocent puppy or defenseless kitten. That said I do agree that the calls for death are kind of depressing, but for me not all that surprising.
Not too thrilled on the direction the story is taking.
ReplyDeleteI can picture Celestia getting VERY angry over the fact two pegusus were nearly beaten to death because of her long shadow...but for her to follow through with killing a ponies, despite the terrified expression on their face...no, just no. It's too out of character.
If Celestia noticed the expression, FOR EIGHT MINUTES, eight minutes of the pegasus's terrified expression, eight minutes of the pegasus pleading for his life, it would only remind her of the monster everyone thinks she is.
Heh "bloody" retribution.
ReplyDeleteI know you're being metaphorical, but if he was hit with directed solar plasma, he'd have been rendered down to carbon ash before he'd have had chance to bleed.
Skay, she was drunk on her own power at the time and edging towards a 'Nightmare Sun' state of mind, that and she was also using most of her magical resources to do it, I imagine the recipient of her "outburst" would barely register in her mind during that time.
ReplyDeleteAnyone else find the solar nuking of a pony named Snowflake to be ironic?
ReplyDelete@Skay
ReplyDeleteThink of it this way .. she had two of her protege's closest friends dumped at her hooves beaten to near death in her name, recent stress with people fearing her and that weighing her down. Then multiply that with a 1000 years of that. Something has to give and in this case it was her self restraint and good temperament. She had a brief moment in time where she saw red and until she exacted that on who she perceived as guilty, there was no stopping her. Likely not even TS's pleading if she had been on scene could stop Celestia in that moment. People do things completely out of character when they snap. Why should it be any different for a goddess with power over the sun?
Words escape me.
ReplyDeleteWhy... why do I find myself drawn to stuff like this?
More, please.