All stories are below the break!
Author: SaddlesoapOpera
[Sad] Fluttershy
Description: After the Grand Galloping Gala, Fluttershy finds herself thinking about her actions…and her childhood.Fluttershy: Origins
Original Page
Additional Tags: Psychological, Flashback, Emotional, Flutterrage, Friendship
[Normal][Sad] Pinkie Pie
Description: For the second time, Rainbow Dash walks in on Pinkie Pie in an unguarded moment, and learns an uncomfortable secret.Pinkie Pie: Schism
Original Page
Additional tags: Psychological, Emotional, Friendship, Secrets, Stress
[Shipping][Sad] Rainbow Dash
Description: Fluttershy tries to help Rainbow Dash relax, but things soon get complicated. A Pony Psychology Series story - previous episodes include Fluttershy: Origins, and Pinkie Pie: Schism.Rainbow Dash: Dependence
Original Page
Additional Tags: Psychological, Emotional, Addiction, FlutterDash, Long
[Shipping][Sad] Applejack
Description: Though already a straight-talker, Applejack suddenly finds herself utterly unable to lie...even to herself. A Pony Psychology Series story - previous episodes include Fluttershy: Origins, Pinkie Pie: Schism, and Rainbow Dash: Dependence.Applejack: Exposure
Original Page
Additional tags: Psychological, Emotional, Truth, Violence, Secrets
[Sad] Rarity
Description: Rarity's generosity is well-known, but her need to please others may end up costing her everything.Rarity: Loss
Original Page
Additional Tags: Emotional, Psychological, Guilt, Desperation, Conflict
[Normal][Sad] Twilight Sparkle
Description: Princess Celestia tells Twilight Sparkle a secret that will change the way she sees her friends - and herself - forever. The final chapter in the main plot of the Pony Psychology Series.Twilight Sparkle: Spellbound
Original Page
Additional Tags: Psychological, Emotional, Long, Friendship, Magic
[Sad] Celestia / Luna
Description: A thousand years of bad blood between The Royal Pony Sisters finally drives them to a confrontation. This story begins during the events of Rarity: Loss, and ends just before the midpoint of Twilight Sparkle: Spellbound; Re-reading is recommended.Alicorns: Blame
Additional Tags: Emotional, Confrontation, Magic, Flashback, Family, Celestia, Luna, Moondancer, Twilight Sparkle
[Sad][Dark]
Description: Ponyville's mailmare is a mystery. Why does she act the way she does? Why does she have a Unicorn foal? What does her Cutie Mark mean? And why is she so fixated on muffins? The answers will reveal a past that she didn't know she had...and a guilt that she may never live down.Ditzy Doo: Muffins
Additional Tags: Psychological, Griffons, Violence, Memories, Long
[Sad][Normal]
Description: Pennliess and downtrodden, The (once) Great and Powerful Trixie comes into possession of the means to get back at the residents of Ponyville - but is she ready to pay the price for that vengeance? The final appendix in the Pony Psychology series...but keep your eyes peeled for exciting new Saddlesoap fics and series coming soon!Trixie: Treasure
Additional Tags: Careful What You Wish For
[Sad][Dark][Normal]
Description: Twilight Sparkle and her fellow Elements of Harmony have faced down supernatural foes of the highest order, but sometimes the deadliest danger can come from places one would least expect. As Twilight is forced to bear a devastating secret, her efforts to keep the Elements together may well tear them all apart. The plotline of the acclaimed Pony Psychology Series continues with an exploration of deception, despair...and Discord.Secrets and Lies (New Part 7!)
Additional Tags: Deception, Manipulation, Revenge, Prejudice, Shame
316 comments:
Nice that it's all in one spot now. Will we see more, or is the series completed?
ReplyDeleteLove the pic, by the way.
BEAUTIFUL.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteNope. Unfortunately, that's the end for this series. Yet apparently, the Google document for the last part of this got taken down. O TEH NOEZ!
@Yomandude Actually SaddleSoap said that he might do a story with Luna/Celestia and maybe some kinda of prequel. Kinda like little spin-off stories.
ReplyDeleteI loved this series! I was so intrigued to keep reading and see what each characters flaw was. Mean Luna kinda freaked me out... but that's just me.
ReplyDeleteGreat read overall! Maybe we will see other people submit stories of their own like this and keep it going.
I read all of them but the last. Waiting eagerly for the google docs link to be fixed!
ReplyDelete@Gersh
ReplyDeleteProbes shouldn't read my friend-off entry then...
Good to have them all in one place. Great story.
As much as I'd love to see Saddlesoap Opera add to this masterpiece of a series, I cannot see it being done. The end of Twilight Sparkle: Spellbound wraps things up nice and neatly.
ReplyDeleteI guess Twilight's hasn't been properly relinked, yet?
ReplyDeleteI can has 'to the rescue' theme? :D
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7058323/1/
fixed it, sorry he pulled them all from docs.
ReplyDeleteIt's all on FF.net now.
T'was a good series, well worth the read. :)
ReplyDeleteOverall, it was okay. Still absolutely no sympathy for Fluttershy, but at least it turned out she really *was* crazy. Doesn't mean much though, I've never held any sympathy for people who have problems, in the sense that it doesn't excuse bad behaviour, only helps explain it. Fluttershy's behaviour isn't made less shitty, it's just been explained a bit better. I'm actually kind of annoyed that everything turned out alright with her. I wouldn't forgive her nearly so easily.
ReplyDeleteI love that picture, it does very well to illustrate the series' events.
ReplyDelete@AFistfulofApples
ReplyDeleteWhile I wouldn't put it quite *that* strongly, I do feel that Fluttershy was the least sympathetic character in the sequence. Getting Dash addicted to heroin was... a pretty horrible thing to do. (Her protestations to Twilight aside, I'm not *entirely* convinced she didn't know what she was doing there, but I was a fan of Londo Mollari in B5, so I tend to not necessarily take characters at their word, even when they're narrating) The subsequent rape was pretty heinous too, as was trying to kill Applejack.
Applejack assaulting Rainbow was a *little* more excusable, IMO. One, it was pretty clearly established that it was a result of bottled up long-term frustration, as well as a feeling of betrayal, and two, she wasn't trying to *kill* Rainbow, just beat her up. And, most important, AJ *stopped* attacking Rainbow on her own initiative, rather than someone else having to make her back off.
I enjoyed the series, though I admit it won't be for everyone.
I frikking love this series <3
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHah! Londo was my favourite B5 character.
To the fic though, it doesn't help that I am a fan of Appledash. I also am annoyed with Rainbow Dash because supposedly, she turned Applejack down with the excuse that she didn't swing that way. Obviously that wasn't a proper reason, and if I was Applejack I'd feel pretty betrayed too.
I don't hate this fic. I don't even dislike it. I just don't like it that much either. Which is why I said "it was okay." I gave it 3 stars because that's "average" on a five point scale. Apparently it doesn't matter though since this story is "6-star" no matter what.
Amazing, absolutely amazing... At first I thought it's just another shipping-story, even thought it was well-written, but the last part really gave it a nice round-up touch. I'm impressed and thank you for writing this as well as I thank you for the enjoyment I got out of it. ^^
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting them all in a hub space, Seth.
ReplyDeletewithout a doubt one of the best series i have ever read :D
ReplyDelete@AFistfulofApples
ReplyDeleteWhile I have no idea what exactly the author's opinion is, I'm actually inclined to believe Rainbow when she told AJ she wasn't gay; rather, I think the pseudo-heroin had a sort of reward-conditioning effect on her. Recall that she was with Fluttershy in a somewhat intimate situation when she had that first high; she may have associated that blissful feeling with Fluttershy's presence. While she evidently was cured of the physiological part of her addiction at the end of Dependance, I'm of the opinion that the *psychological* effect lingered a bit, particularly with her already damaged mental state. Her internal monologue in Dependance, and her whole "why the hell am I feeling this way, I'm not into other girls" reaction when she got her second hit suggests to me that that's not a normal reaction for her.
I know that may seem hypocritical, considering my earlier assertion that I tend not to immediately believe what a character says, but Fluttershy's behavior in Loss seems to hint that Rainbow's been avoiding her, which may indicate that she's reassessing why she was feeling the way she was around Fluttershy in the first place.
Hm, that may be a bit incoherent, and I may just be reading too much into it, but I'll let it stand for now. I'll further note that I don't necessarily care for shipping, so my own biases may be showing.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI considered that possibility too, and in fact I expected it to be revealed that Rainbow no longer wanted to date Fluttershy because she realised she wasn't *really* in love with her, and it was just the drugs and a feeling of gratitude for not dying of an overdose. I was disappointed that nothing came from that. If something had, it would have made sense why Rainbow said she wasn't gay, but then got together with Fluttershy, and it would have helped relieve Fluttershy of an, IMO, undeservedly happy ending.
@ a href #c7596363767576418417 >AFistfulofApples /a>
ReplyDeleteThis would have really given an even bigger twist on Exposure. Given a bigger conflict onLoss, and a more content ending on Spellbound where all ponies are good friends again and leaving the shipping out.
@AFistfulofApples
ReplyDeleteI can certainly concur on that point. The final chapter felt dreadfully rushed to me, and was IMO the weakest of the series. Several of the characters' problems were solved far too quickly; Rarity's I can see being solved *fairly* easily, (though a couple of words from Twilight may have been pushing it!) but Pinkie's was a very serious long-term issue, Fluttershy was delving into some very nasty psychosis (inherited, no less, which should have made it far worse) and Rainbow was ripping herself apart inside trying to help everyone else, and probably should have been the last one Twilight dealt with because of it. (In fact, her drive to help her friends at cost to herself may be another source of the fluttershy/dash relationship that didn't occur to me when I was typing my earlier comment.)
Heh, I think I've said enough here; I'm sure the other readers are tired of my self-indulgent monologues!
@AFistfulofApples
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty much exactly how I feel. It was OK but the whole Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy/Apple Jack thing seemed... forced. If dash had split with Fluttershy it would have made the story a lot more dramatic and interesting. Instead it felt like the author just shoehorned in their favorite ship.
Oh yes, and while it may not seem obvious, Anon 2:41 PM, Anon 3:25 PM, and Anon 4:03 PM are all the same Anon, as is this one.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should start using a name if I'm going to get into prolonged discussion in comments!
Whoever made that pic sure put emphasis on the eye color depth
ReplyDelete*gasp* Yay!
ReplyDeleteI just finished it...
ReplyDeleteI literally shed a manly tear at the end.
SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL.
I can thank the author enough for this amazing read.
This fanfic is 20% cooler.
ReplyDeleteThis was simply excellent. :D
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention one other thing that bugged me. We're told Twilight is immortal now, because she's the element of Magic. Um, why is this any different than Applejack being the element of Honesty, or Pinkie Pie being the element of Laughter? I would think in fact that all of them should be immortal. If not, then given what was said, I'd expect Twilight to die after her friends die, because we're told the other elements support her element. But the story doesn't seem indicate this is going to happen, it seems to go on as if everyone but Twilight will die. I just don't buy the explanation.
ReplyDeleteI just spent the better part of 90 minutes reading these. I was doing other things in between, but it was mostly constant. Fluttershy is my favorite of the mane six, and I thought her story was quite interesting. I'm not a shipper and probably never will be, but if I had to choose a pairing it would be Flutterdash. Or maybe Rarishy...I don't know. Like I said, I don't really do the whole shipping thing.
ReplyDeleteThe stories fit together, but some of it seemed forced, I suppose. The manifestations of their issues almost came too quickly? I know that most of it had roots in deeper issues, but it seems like some of them were a little weird (Applejack and Rarity being the ones that first come to mind). I have always wondered why Rarity seems to be the only one who has any use/connection to the gems of Equestria and if they held any value besides being sparkly. :)
Overall, i'm very pleased with these six stories. I don't read very many fics, but I decided to give the first one a shot and it didn't really disappoint, so I kept going. Is there more to this or no? Am I just an ignorant brony who doesn't know if there's gigs of this particular author's work around?
~Doombah
To clarify:
ReplyDeleteThe MAIN (MANE?) plot arc is complete, but even as we speak I am writing some expansions.
Currently, these include a story about the Royal Pony Sisters (both in one story), a story about Ditzy Doo, and a way down the road epilogue for this main (mane?) arc.
Others are possible, I imagine, but those are what's cookin' right now.
----------------------------------
I should make it clear, with regards to FS, that she was under the impression that the berries were harmless, and that Dash's euphoria was simply attraction to her (there were all those rumours about Dash, after all...). She totally did pick up AJ and toss her on purpose, though. Bad FS!
Speaking of FS/RD/AJ, I find the above suggestions about conditioned stimulus pairing and eventual relationship collapse intriguing, and I do agree that the whole FS/RD thing collapsing would lend more depth to the latter half of the story, and re-establish "status quo" more firmly.
FS could also, I will admit, use a bit more clarification about her condition.
When I upload the first expansion story, I may well add some edits to these stories to rectify those points; it could even lengthen the latter part of the series, which will please other Bronies who balked at its haste! :D
--------------------------
Thanks again to everypony for your amazing amounts of praise and support. I am seriously humbled and awed, and as I cannot repeat enough, amazed at this fandom's fantastic-ness.
It's the least I can do to try and craft my fic's into the most enjoyable and polished state possible for you all.
-------------------------------
PS: about that "shoehorned in their favorite ship" remark...I seriously just went where the demands of the story dictated. Dash needed someone to give her drugs, and the druid-like FS seemed the best source. I've NEVER written fanfic before this series, but if I were to pick a "favourite ship" for the Mane Six, I think it might actually be AJ/RD or AJ/RY - Foe Yay makes for great "I'm so mad I could KISS YOU!" moments, and AJ and RY's idiosyncratic speech styles are hella fun to write. :P
------------------------------
TL;DR: MUFFINS!
I think this story is one where there really shouldn't be any shipping between the main cast. Because we're told that these ponies are now avatars of their elements, and are to embody them and support Twilight or whatever, it seems odd for any two of them to get together romantically, as that would imply a stronger connection between those two elements with each other than with the others, which wouldn't make any sense.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see all the praise has humbled you, instead of having the opposite effect, Saddlesoap.(I'm the Anon who gave you advice about that, lol. I'm in the same boat as another Anon here, I really should make an account)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, as I've said before, I can't wait for whatever you have in store for this series. You very well could just end it at this, but since you've decided to continue, I can only speculate what the future installments will entail.
I'd also like to say that it's surprising that this is your first fanfic. I've seen writers who've written dozens of pieces before even coming close to this level. Stuff I myself have written isn't even close, which is why I found that fact quite surprising. You have talent, no doubt about that. I look forward to seeing what you do with it.
Also, I agree with what you've said before. Best. Fandom. Ever! :P
uh.. yeah, im kinda lost for words once i stopped at the end of rarity's .. i will finish it. I will ditto Doombah's above for now.
ReplyDelete-The Obsessor
This was amazing. Simply ma-velous. The story kept me engaged the whole way through and I loved it all.
ReplyDeleteMy only little complaint was the swiftness of curing Fluttershy's crazed paranoia. I felt like Psychoshy could have given a little bit more dialogue. XD
But that hardly fazed me. I enjoyed this and am now going to be sleep deprived as a result. :D
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteSeeing the rectifications you are going to make, I haven't got anything else to report.
Other than, of course, this fic has been pretty amazing throughout, and I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks so much for sharing ^^
@AFistfulofApples
ReplyDeleteWell, maybe they are all immortal - it would explain how Fluttershy survived necromantic ritual in Dependence.
About the story - I really enjoyed it. What I didn't like tho, is how much fantasy this story is. We have Twilight the Necromancer, elements of harmony possesing ponies and finally Twilight becoming the ponification of magic. I'd prefer it if it was a story about ponies solving their problems the hard way(especially since there is psychology in the title).
Still, don't get me wrong, it's a great story.
This is simply beautiful. This story is a work of art, a masterpiece. I loved it 6/5 stars. It is probably the best series I have read on the site. Thats saying something because I read A LOT.
ReplyDeleteMy mind is blown. Six times over.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, I am never watching "The Best Night Ever", ever again. Paranoid schizophrenic Fluttershy is just too scary to imagine.
Wonderful, simply wonderful.
ReplyDeleteBut now I'm sad because everytime I work on my fanfic I'm going to think of this one, slam my head on the keyboard, and shout "What's the point? I can't compete with that!"
Still, great job.
Yo, Saddlesoap,
ReplyDeleteIf one were to take out the more... adult themes out of this, then I would most definitely smell a canon DVD film. Simply brilliant, my friend. The character blending and overhanging conflict, and the brilliant resolution brought it full circle for me. Bravo!
They might want to take out the immortality bit too :P
EDITS AND UPDATES:
ReplyDelete(SOME SPOILERS)
------------------------------------------------
Exposure has been tweaked VERY subtly in places,
The confrontation at the end of Loss has been altered somewhat,
And Spellbound is now about 1,000 words longer, entirely confined to the second half. The shipping outcome has changed (in keeping with what I felt were solid suggestions), and some of the "Go-go Gadget Twilight Fix Everyone!" sequences are now longer, as is Fluttershy's "treatment."
I don't generally try to please everyone (Kurt Vonnegut said 'If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia'), but I feel these changes better reinforce the status quo by the end, and help the payoff of a series that would span more than a hundred pages in paperback novel format feel more satisfying (Vonnegut also said 'Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted')
I hope at least some of you agree!
----------------------------------------
P.S.: At this rate, it's looking like the Alicorns story will be next, though it's not done yet.
I will legitimately buy this fic if you sold it as a book just so I can have it. But until then, I'm transferring them all to PDF files. If you do make a paperback, hit me up I'll buy it anyways.
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of fact, I would go as far as to say that not only do you win all the internets good sir, you actually win the game. But you are the only one ever who can win the game.
ReplyDeletethis is a master piece... I loved every single chapter of it. I was a little unsure about the part where celestia ordered to kill Twilight but you managed to build it in just perfectly.
ReplyDeleteThe very last sentence "and magic makes it all complete" made me tear up
If some day somepony asks me to show them a MlP FiM fanfiction this will be my number one pick.
now, excuse me but I have to read the most epic fanfiction ever made... again!
I was reading the part about Pinkie Pie while listening to Winter Wrap Up. My mind is a very confused place at the moment.
ReplyDelete@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteHonestly? Those changes really do help to make the story much better in my eyes. I'm pleased.
I think the changes made to the final chapter greatly add to the story, and I'm particularly glad that nothing was changed in the first half (which was about perfect as it was, I think).
ReplyDeleteThis is the most convincing effort I've ever seen to give the canon characters more strong & complex emotions. I don't even mind the shipping; it's shipping done well at least.
ReplyDeleteLoooooved this series
ReplyDeleteEven if I did read it out of order...
But, that was Tuesday
This was the first fanfic I read on this site a while back and reading it again now it still is, as far as I'm concerned, one of the best. I won't be shy to say, however, I actually preferred the original ending in regards to Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash. I wish the original was still available. Woulda copied down the story when I read it if I woulda known it was to be changed.
ReplyDeleteHm. I thought I'd posted my comment on here, but it seems to have disappeared in the interim, so I'll try again!
ReplyDeleteThis is the wordy Anon from the 12th; just wanted to say that I feel the changes make Spellbound a *much* stronger story. I still feel that Dependance and Exposure are the strongest chapters, but Spellbound's a lot closer to their level now.
And, Saddlesoap, major props to you. It's not an easy thing to change something you wrote based on the input of random anonymous Internet denizens, and I'm impressed as all get out that you're willing to do so. And thanks for addressing my question of whether Fluttershy was lying or not!
New appendix/chapter is up now!
ReplyDeleteIt is AMAZAH!
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeletePlease save yourself to the end of season 2. To keep it real.
Focus on the origins of Mane6, save other ideas after season 2 end to keep it 100% real.
What happened when Pinkie Pie left the farm? How did she learned to party so hard?
Why do Rarity lives alone with her sister on the boutique?
What happened to Applejack, Applebloom, BigMac mother and father?
What are the origins of Equestria, Luna, Celestia?
How does equestria work? government, socials, money, etc. This could be an autobiographic or narrative story from point of view of your OC pony or from Twilight herself.
Please svae other ideas till end of season 2 to keep it 100% real as it is now. No matter what hasbro does pony psychology cannot be "undone", so after season 2 ending you can adjust and link stories :)
Greets.
facebook.com/broniesforever
Broken link
ReplyDeleteMfw clicked on Allicorns 404 Not found
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fanfiction.net/s/7103839/1/Alicorns_Blame
ReplyDeleteHere it is
Hm. Figured I didn't need any tissues because this wasn't taking place after Spellbound. Was almost a poor decision on my part.
ReplyDeleteMore psychology? Oh hell yes.
ReplyDeleteSaddlesoap, you never cease to amaze me.
ReplyDeleteJust read the newest chapter, and five stars doesn't do it justice.
Muffins!!!!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! Just read the newest, an excellent side-story (especially how it indirectly explains why the ponies put up with Trollestia). I've just gotten into fanfic, but I'm definitely a growing fan.
ReplyDeleteI'm at a loss for words at how brilliant this is.
ReplyDeleteMan, you gave in and made Celestia a bitch. Weak.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteShe is not a bitch she is a strong pony and do what she have to do
Wow. I'm stunned by how amazingly well this is written. Among the best of the best fanfics I've ever read. All my 5-stars, take them.
ReplyDeleteForgot my FFnet password again, so I have to review here for the latest chapter. It's amazing to me how you come up with conflicts that seem to break everypony's characterization at first, and then by the end of each story, everything has clicked back into place in the most heartrending way.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve all the stars on the internets.
Heh... Muffins...
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of darker-than-the-source-material fanfics when they're done well, and the Pony Psychology series, in my humble opinion, was done very well. I eagerly await any further chapters you choose to write.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
To me, both Celestia and Luna came off as being flawed (and thus interesting), rather than being purely good or purely evil. I wouldn't say that Celestia was a "bitch"--she messed up, and acted wrongly in her anger, but really, that's a fault both sisters share (while it was perhaps not equivalent to tossing-someone-out-in-space-for-a-millenium, you have to admit striking out at Twilight Sparkle like Luna did was rather cruel.)
"Next: Appendix: Ditzy Doo: Muffins."
ReplyDeleteUm, what?
I hope you know I'm holding you to your word on the Muffins chapter
ReplyDeleteOOOOO THE NEXT ONE HAS DERPY!
ReplyDeleteThe latest one made me cry...
ReplyDeleteFor nearly five minutes...
I feel like crying again, excuse me...
I can't be the only one who fears the implications of an appendix for Ditzy Doo/Derpy Hooves, but if anyone can take a bit playing joke character and make them interesting, it's Saddlesoap.
ReplyDeleteThank you everypony for your ongoing words of humbling praise and support! I can literally NEVER tell you all enough that this is the best fandom on the Series of Tubes.
ReplyDeleteThe Ditzy Doo chapter is now in the works!
And yes, Ditzy may be a jokey character, but as other fics and many images have shown, she has vast potential...
As for the Sisters' natures in this fic, I tried to make sure that neither seemed to be entirely in the wrong - hence the title. Real arguments - especially between family members - tend to be a little ambiguous.
Well this explains why Luna was so mean to Twilight in the previous chapter. I'd been wondering why she seemed to hate Twilight so much when she was the one who freed her from NMM.
ReplyDeleteAlright, anon coming in way late here, but I just felt like the whole AJ/RD/FS debate was missing a few little... I'd call them facts of human existence. You all seem to be fans of the "atoms of self-interest," type characters. The true-to-type libertarians who think of no-one's needs other than their own. You seem to want characters to plot, scheme, and connive in order to get what they want out of people.
ReplyDeleteNow, I honestly can't blame you, as that stuff is a hell of a lot of fun to witness. That said, you seem to be missing the fact that normal people don't act this way in real life. Have you ever tried to keep a lie going? It's absolutely exhausting mentally. Normal people just don't do it because it's a hell of a lot easier and less stressful to just be honest.
Anyway, I'm a hardcore RD/FS shipper (with a little FS/Luna on the side), so take this apologia with a fist of salt. In defense of the shipping ending which may have been written out of the story by this time (haven't checked yet so, fist of salt) RD may have been telling the truth and nothing but at the time when she turned down AJ. If we assume that Pony society is just a... what's the word... translation? (in the geometric sense) of modern western society, then it's entirely possible that RD turned AJ down honestly. Two reasons : A) It's not unheard of for people today to not even realize they're gay until well into their adult life. This is especially true in small, out of the way suburbs or country towns, and Ponyville is by no means a bustling metropolis; and B) We've all been hit on by someone who we simply were not attracted to. We've all hit on someone who wasn't attracted to us (tear). It's entirely possible that RD just don't want that. All this talk you guys had going about residual euphoria from the berries and reward-condition effects and residual gratitude, while definitely plausible, could stand a little helping of Occam's Razor.
Alright, now that I'm done talking about things which probably aren't even in the story anymore, I honestly loved the series. I did feel that the twilight fix-it chapter was dreadfully rushed, and a few of the ponie's psycoses... alright, Rarity's, could have had a good deal more attention thrown her way. It felt to me like she had the least realistic breakdown, just because of how dramatic it was, and how little we see of it compared to all the other ponies. She seemed kind of glossed over in the scheme of things. This applies to Pinkie Pie too, albeit much less so.
As for the Celestia/Luna add-on story... well, if the part of my brain responsible for reading fan-fiction could masturbate, I'm pretty sure it would feel kind of like reading that. I love this story, retardedly so, even moreso than the mane story arc. Then again, I'm a huge, huge fan of the "talking it out through violence" schtick, and this piece delivered it absolutely perfectly. Just to illustrate how idiotically infatuated I am with this story, there's a small part of my brain that desperately wants to compare it to J. Alfred Prufrock... which tells you all you need to know about my credibility as a critic. So I'm more emotional than intellectual, sue me. Either way, well done, I really mean it.
... well that was longer than I intended.
ReplyDelete/Obligatory Cool story Brony
This writing just seems so...professional! Does the author actually make a living off of writing stories or some other form of writing? Cause I wouldn't be surprised.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm one that NEVER cries. At funerals, the saddest parts of movies/novels, etc.; this, however, did… Luna damnit…I just admitted that?!?! Thank Celestia this is anon…
ReplyDeleteI will be severely dissapoint if that Ditzy Doo chapter isn't happening. Other than that, latest chapter is good stuff.
ReplyDeleteSo...I really liked the original cut of this story, to the point where I was pretty excited every time a new part showed up. I was especially invested in Fluttershy's story. As someone that does suffer from mental illness, I was really happy to see Fluttershy's supposed codependence handled in such a caring way, and I was really happy that she got her happy ending.
ReplyDeleteThen I read the new version, and I wasn't as happy.
I see a few of the comments stating that Fluttershy either doesn't deserve sympathy for her issues or doesn't deserve the happy ending she receives initially, and I have to say, those kind of pissed me off. Mental illness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it does explain it -- what bad behavior does Fluttershy exhibit, exactly? Needing other people, or being a caretaker to the point of running herself ragged -- what, of that, is bad behavior? Not to mention that I think the sentiment displayed towards the character echoes the greater view of mental illness outside those that suffer it on the whole -- still stigmatized. There is a difference between one's behavior being defined by a sometimes uncontrollable issue and someone just being a jerk. I'm really not sure how to fully explain myself here -- I just feel that the original handling of the story showed more sympathy for Fluttershy's condition, as well as ending on the hopeful note that someone's issues do not exclude them from finding happiness with another person.
I have to admit, FS/RD isn't a pairing I've looked into much, but the way it's handled here is sweet; I'm not sure why so many people are convinced that it would fall apart or that Fluttershy coerced Rainbow into a relationship. I don't know. I'm just sort of frustrated by some of the commentary. Sexuality isn't necessarily set in stone, nor is it something that everyone is completely aware of. It is possible to be attracted to a certain gender save for ONE individual that happens to go against your preferences, be it due to personality or something else. Maybe Applejack wasn't the one, and Fluttershy was. It's all inconsequential, I suppose.
That said, I still love the series; I'm just committed to the original version I read. Saddlesoap is still a brilliant author, and I'm glad that instead of taking the 'crazyShy' route you created a plausible reason for Fluttershy being the way she is.
Because really, hearing the words 'psycho' and 'crazy' repeatedly for a character that seems to be a carbon copy of yourself kinda sucks. Probably just getting too emotionally invested in the series, though. : )
ALL OF MY BAAAAAWWWWWW! X'(
ReplyDeleteThat. WORKS.
ReplyDeleteI really do hope the Everfree Forest gets dealt with in canon - why it works like it does, why it used-to-be-but-now-isn't the seat of government - but what you present is the best hypothesis I've seen yet.
How, exactly, does this make Celestia into a bitch? In fact it's one of the few stories I've read where she's totally relateable - not perfect, not evil.
ReplyDeleteWell done with the sisters.
>NEXT APPENDIX: DITZY DOO: MUFFINS
ReplyDelete>MI CARA CUANDO
@Papi
ReplyDeleteThank you for your candor!
SPOILERZZZ
In all fairness though, it's not like FS got banished to the moon, or anything. Yes, she got some unrequited love, but that relationship started while neither of them was entirely compos-mentis.
In the end, she got treatment, stayed friends with RD, remained surrounded by caring friends in general, and got to commiserate with AJ.
It might not be a standard "happy ending" now, but nothing about it implies FS will have an "UNhappy ending."
I was going for more of a bittersweet feeling of "I'm not OK...but I will be."
Thanks again for commenting - triggering a feeling of relation to characters in the readers is one of the sovereign goals of writing, IMHO.
------------------------------------
@Anonymous
*Blush*...I WISH! I am an enthusiastic amateur who practises a lot. You are not the first to ask that question, though, and it gives me the mad Warm Fuzzies every time.
Thanks a bunch!
This oddly makes me think of novels written by the great olden writers of the renaissance. The next, upcoming chapter apparently reminds me of Derpy/Ditzy simply because it had the words muffins.
ReplyDeleteThat chapter was easily one of the best yet! Keep up the amazing work man! I look forward too each one.
ReplyDeleteMy God. This is amazing. It's perfect. Although I do miss the original Flutterdash ending, this new one still works just as well. It's beautiful, it's just... AUGH. I haven't got words enough to express my love.
ReplyDeletei loved this. i can't say anything else. have i commented before? i don't remember. i love this and am very intimidated by it.
ReplyDeleteas to the AJ/FS/RD thing, not every story has to end with everything Pinkie Keen. sometimes, love isn't returned. it's sad and hurts, but it happens. it happens to those with mental issues as well as those who are perfectly 'normal.'
personally, i like this new ending better. it seems to be more like the show, everything is pretty much returned to normal at the end. a bit sad about FS's mom though.
Holy mother of everything that's great... This is quite frankly one of the most amazing things I have ever read. I've always been a big fan of Luna and Celestia stories, but this just takes the cake.
ReplyDeleteIts so amazing that I'm at lost for words right now. Its just.... Perfect.
If the part of my mind that loves fanfics were a person. It'd be crying hysterical tears right now.
The latest chapter is great, I mean a truly great piece of fiction. I'm reading it, and only when I finish do I realize that there are tears in my eyes. That is what great writers can accomplish, and saddlesoap, you have done just that. Thank you, it was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteNEW PART OF PONY PSYCHOLOGY
ReplyDeleteBest day ever
>DITZY DOO: MUFFINS
ReplyDeleteall of my love
Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but...
ReplyDeleteSaddlesoap Opera has made a portrayal of Luna that I love WAY more than any other in the fanon. We've had enough simpering, melancholy outcast Lunas who need a hug. Luna as a complex, ambitious visionary was very refreshing.
I disliked some of the stories on their own. The way it all came together made it worth while. The work as a whole is extremely excellent.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that this version of Luna rivals the other versions. The way it's done is as if it's an actual epic story, rather then a pointless back-story to an awesome series.
If I was in Twilights position, as soon as I realized I was truly immortal, I would of turned to Celestia and said with a stern expression, "kneel before me."
I suddenly hate the Mayor even more than I originally did. Before reading this fic, she did nothing. After reading it, she had used people's debts to satisfy her pleasures. Using Big Macintosh as a sex toy? BITCH! Blackmailing Rarity into giving her a free necklace? Ehhh... But she's abusing her power. Next thing you know, she'll blackmail the Cakes into giving her more free stuff. That power-crazy WHORE!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell in all fairness Rarity *was* awfully behind in her taxes - I think the Mayor would use the term "barter" over "blackmail". :D
And as for Big Mac - he was obviously asking for that kind of attention! I mean, just *look* at him - trotting around that farm with those unshorn fetlocks...that stern but sensitive visage...those soulful green eyes...that heavy yoke perched on his broad shoulders...those muscular scarlet flanks shining with perspiration from honest hard work...
...I'm sorry, what was the question? :P
I'm trying to read this all, but I'm about halfway done Exposure and I fear that my heart will give out before I make it to the end...
ReplyDeleteSeriously, this story is stirring up really... weird... emotions in me, ones I've never felt in reaction to a work of art before... ones I don't even think I have a word for (other than HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG, anyways...) Well done. More than worthy of 6 stars.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see whether or not I can make it through this and keep my heart intact. Wish me luck.
@Anonymous Same thing here, I wouldn't say I'm a FAN of shipping, but this certainly made me "dawwwww". Extremely well written Saddlesoap *claps*
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, Bronies!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just found out that Pony Psychology has a recommendation for it on MLP:FIM's TV Tropes page, AND a TV Tropes page of its own!
WOOOOOOO! I LOVE TV tropes!
That is *duckface* SO AWESOME! :D
Thanks a billion to whoever wrangled that page - it looks great!
Have I mentioned that this is the best fandom ever?
Just to be sure:
THIS IS THE BEST FANDOM EVER!!
Re: Alicorns:
ReplyDeleteThe idea of Celestia just bursting into tears and begging forgiveness works really well. She's such a composed character, to see her break down like this is a powerful gesture.
I like Celestia's opinion on the Everfree forest, gives a more serious spin to the mane cast's words in 'Bridle Gossip'. The thought of animals eating each other must be horrific indeed to a race of purely vegetarian creatures.
I'm not crazy about the idea of Celestia having magical regalia which influence others to love her. It makes me wonder how much of Twilight's devotion is her own. I've got no problem adding a little moral ambiguity to her characterizations, but that one seems unfitting, somehow...
Still, loved the emotions at play throughout the series.
The final line- DITZY DOO : MUFFINS - made me lol.
Celestia/Luna story: Oh my God, that was amazing. I just... I can't even... someone hug me.
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely amazing, and the way each character's breakdown is foreshadowed in the previous chapter is a nice touch. Also cracked up at DITZY DOO: MUFFINS before I realized that it would make for a great read.
ReplyDeleteSome of these really hit close to home. Hey Pinkie Pie, let's put on a brave face together...
ReplyDeleteIs the version where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash stayed together still around anywhere? I don't know if that's what's best for the story or anything, and I'm not asking you to change it, but I guess I'm coming from a similar place as Papi. If the original ending was still around somewhere, I guess I'd really like to see it.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's still to be found anywhere online, but I should clarify that it did not have any "and they flapped off into the sunset hoof in hoof" style payoff.
I didn't just change the ending just because of status quo concerns - it also felt rushed and incomplete. A lot of the finer details in the latter half of Spellbound were added with the new ending.
Basically, FS RD may have stayed together in the old edition, but there wasn't really any satisfying conclusion to their romantic arc.
Believe me - this ending might be a bit more bittersweet, but it's better written.
*PREPARES TO TAKE CRAP FOR THE FOLLOWING COMMENT*
ReplyDeleteI started out liking this, but by then end I absolutely hated it. I thought all the shipping was completely unnecessary and ruined what could have remained a perfectly good tear-jerker.
Part 1: Had me in tears.
Part 2: Had me in tears.
Part 3-5: Laughed at moments, but ultimately disappointed.
Part 6/7: ...what?
@DavidReinold
ReplyDeleteYou shan't get crap from me, my good sir. I respect this random enough to remain above such a petty move.
There's no accounting for taste, and you remained civil in your criticism - I appreciate that.
I suppose the romantic elements are not for everypony, but then neither are the violent or emotionally dark parts.
Sorry you were disappointed!
ARGH. Make that "...respect this FANdom enough"
ReplyDeleteStupid lack of an edit feature. >_<
Let me begin. I HATE SHIPPING. WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY BODY. However, I loved how the ship tied into this one. This is a marvelous work, my friend. I could see this, minus the more adult-ish themes, immortality, and the shipping, being the broader plotline of a feature length MLP movie. I'm aware that the developers for MLP aren't allowed to read fan works, but I really, really hope someone breaks the rules and reads this. One of the hardest things to deal with is seeing your friends' relationships break down before you. Twilight has always been the main protagonist of the series (being the only one to appear in all 26 episodes) so I'd see it fitting for her to take her role directly from here to there.
ReplyDeleteI'll stop rambling now. Looking forward to Ditzy Doo: Muffins!
@Papi
ReplyDeleteI wish I saw this earlier so I could have replied to it sometime around when it was made. But ah well, I feel compelled to reply considering I was sort of called out.
What bad behaviour does Fluttershy exhibit? Attempted murder at worst, Attempted manslaughter at best. She also seems to have tied up Spike and kept him against his will. She also clearly is inconsiderate of Dash's feelings since she did not leave well enough alone when Dash told her her bumps and bruises were no big deal. It shows a lack of trust when you *immediately* jump to the conclusion that your friend is confused, doesn't understand their own situation, and can't take care of herself.
We want Derpy! We want Derpy!
ReplyDelete----
To all shipping haters, of which I am one:
Sure it includes shipping, but at least it's skillfully and tastefully written as a part of the larger psychological exposé. It's the only shipping that I have ever felt any respect for, in any fanfiction, because it never turns purple and doesn't cramp the narrative pace/style.
I'd like to thank everypony for your patience in waiting for the Ditzy chapter. It is nearing completion, and it's quite a long and complex one.
ReplyDeleteIt's also probably the most unusual chapter so far - which is probably fitting considering the Pony it examines.
I'll submit it the instant it's done - Pinkie Swear!
I just had to come back and re-re-re-read this. At 2:30 in the morning. When I should be waking up early tomorrow. I just need to say that you are a genius, and I'm incredibly looking forward to your rendition of Ditzy.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I normally dislike taking fanfic in such a skewed direction to the property it's based on, this is really, really well done. While definitely darker than the show, nopony seems to be truly OOC, because you've used flashes of things we've seen in the show, as well as your expansion on the idea of "my friends are the embodiments of the Elements of Harmony".
ReplyDeleteMy only quibble with it is from a purely technical standpoint. Since you really can't read the chapters without the others, it would be much better for this to be listed as a single story with chapters on fanfiction.net instead of (at this time) 7 separate stories.
Well y'all know how to create a mighty fine story!
ReplyDeleteThis is probably one of the best fanfics i ever read, even though, like said, some of the stuff seems a little forced. But hey, think of it as a star ruby!...or something.
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteDude!! Just read "Muffins" on FanFiction.Net and I gotta say Me LIKEY!!
it's on fimfiction as well
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fimfiction.net/story/183/9/Pony-Psychology-Series/Ditzy-Doo:-Muffins-(part-1)
HOLY **** AN UPDATE!!!
ReplyDelete...wait a minute...
*sees Dark tag*
O_O
You know, not all of the characters have to have sad and depressing backstories you know. Sheesh not everybody's secretly emo >.>
ReplyDeleteSecond best Ditzy story ever.
ReplyDelete(Best of course being the one where she and Carrot Top go on an adventure because Celestia stole their fridge)
Soo...is this series like...totally tear-jerking and heart-rending? All those SAD tags.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to cry :(
yey Ditzy update!!
ReplyDeleteI'll start reading as soon as I finish baking muffins (For real, srsly)
@helldiver450
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have missed the point. It's that each of these ponies has overcome great personal, emotional, and mental hardships and still come out of it as being able to show the world a caring, trusting, happy smile each and every day.
It's not that these ponies are emo, it's that these ponies are STRONG. It takes a lot to defeat your own demons, but it takes many times more to come out of it with a sunny disposition and a bright outlook on life.
holy shit
ReplyDeleteDerpy Limit Break
Hm.
ReplyDeleteThe Derpy story was very good. But it really lacked some of the emotional power of the rest of the series. There were definitely scenes that felt like they should've been more moving, but it just feels like you tried to do too much in one story, and lost some of the focus along the way. And really, the "muffins" thing was a bit of a stretch, in my opinion. I didn't even catch it the first time, I had to go back and reread it before I realized it.
It was very good. But not as good as the rest.
Look forward to Trixie.
Poor Ditzy. As usual, beautifully written. Can't wait for Trrrrrrrixie!
ReplyDeleteI REALLY don't like how Twilight suddenly becomes immortal, learns the answer to everything in five minutes, and solves everyone's problems in the blink of an eye even though in some cases her friends have learned enough themselves to fix their own problems.
ReplyDeleteIt goes even further when the elements of harmony are revealed to exist only to serve twilight's whims.
Honestly she's elevated enough in the actual show, I cant help but feel that she's become somewhat of a Mary Sue.
Ditzy Doo: Muffins has a [Dark] tag? Silly Saddlesoap. That's not how you spell [Totally Fucking Awesome].
ReplyDeleteIt basically read to me as Road to Perdition with Ponies, which is something that I had never considered before but now think kicks enough ass that this is my official Fanon Derpy backstory.
This newest chapter was a great read, but it doesn't belong here. Give it it's own post or something - it's not connected to the rest of the series.
ReplyDelete@Saddlesoap i read the poem at the end of part 6 and was wondering if the poem was suggesting that twilight is the only one who will live forever, even though celestia said other wise? I loved the stories and teared up quite a few times. The writing was skillful and heart warming even though it was sad.
ReplyDeleteditzy is a sweetheart
ReplyDeletebright eyes is badass
hard to believe this is the same pony
The "Allons-y" line was perfect. And so was the rest of the Ditzy story.
ReplyDeleteSuch a good series....
ReplyDeleteSeeing the feedback this story is getting, I am THAT much more annoyed that I am too much of a wuss to read stuff so heavily packed with [Sad] tags.
ReplyDeleteWhy am I posting a reply to a story I haven't read? Because I hope someone will tell me that it all ends well, and that reading this WON'T turn me into a quivering pile of sad.
I need my happy ending. I don't care what it says about me as a person.
@Cloudy Skies
ReplyDeleteIt ends approximately well. Just takes a while to get there.
I enjoyed this wholeheartedly, I must admit.
ReplyDeleteSo much sorrow is shared through each story, yet the joy and sweetness also witnessed causes it to feel... nice :P
Dammit... I said I wouldn't cry, but I couldn't help it.
ReplyDelete@Cloudy Skies
ReplyDeleteThe latest one is more bittersweet than anything.
@Anonymous
*looks up at title of series*
*Derpy's story was psychological*
*is confused*
Muffins...
ReplyDelete...son of a bitch. This makes so much sense.
Seriously? Ditzy Doo is the equine equivalent of Jason Bourne?
ReplyDeleteLike I said, "Muffins" shows us that Bright Eyes is still made of awesome; we're dealing with someone who's deliberately pretending to be a clumsy idiot to protect a child because her past means nothing compared to Dinky's future. If that ain't badass, I don't know what is.
ReplyDeleteNever in my wildest dreams did I think Derpy Hooves could be a total badass. EVER. And then Saddlesoap comes along and writes her as one...and not only was it not a complete disaster, it was one of the most gripping pieces of MLP fanfiction I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteNo words other than this is the best addition to Derpy's fanon to come along in a long time.
I can't WAIT to see what you do with Trixie. "Treasure," huh? The title alone sets my mind to brainstorming all the different things this treasure might be.
When Ditzy asked Big Mac to "nail her," I laughed really loudly, even though it's 1 AM and I probably woke up my parents
ReplyDelete@Anonymous, That's... kinda the opposite of what was said in there. The other 5 don't exist to serve Twilight's whims, Twilight is needed to keep the Elements from driving her friends insane.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't I give you more than five stars?! WHY?! Take all of my internets, moneys, and stars my good sir.
ReplyDeleteHey everypony - thanks for the interesting feedback on the latest chapter!
ReplyDeleteSorry it took so long, but as you can see it turned out longer than any two earlier chapters put together.
What started as an effort to pin some background on a skew-eyed background Pony quickly expanded into a cross between The Long Kiss Goodnight, Road to Perdition, The Bourne Identity and Doctor Who.
...Huh. I just realized that Muffins is *technically* a crossover, due to Doctor Whooves. It seriously did not occur to me. Everypony refers to him as the Doctor so much that it sort of reflexively felt canon. Go figure.
At any rate, if anypony is interested, here's a little side trivia:
The name "Desiderata" in this story was inspired by a poem of the same name by Max Ehrmann; a line from it goes, "Listen to all, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story."
Amusingly fitting!
My mother is bipolar and once did something very similar to what Fluttershy's mom did to her (basement, bad people coming to get us, etc.), and that made that chapter painful to read. If you didn't write that from personal experience, kudos on a disturbingly accurate portrayal.
ReplyDeleteMy mouth exploded with laughter... TWICE!!!
ReplyDelete"I want you to nail me!"
Okay, since when did Ditzy become AMAZING?
ReplyDeleteThe Doctor's portrayal in this was good as well. I read his lines in Tennant's voice. I'm still confused as to Ditzy's cutie mark meant. Maybe I just read that section a bit too fast. But still, as with the rest of this series, shut up and take my stars.
Just when I thought the Pony Psychology series couldn't get any better at Blame, you go ahead and pull a whopper with Muffins. I take my hat off to you, my little brony, as one of the most accomplished writers I've had the fortune to stumble across on this site. Great job, and now I'm never gonna see Derpy the same way ever again...
ReplyDeleteDamn.That was powerful.
ReplyDeleteAs with the rest of the series, Muffins was fantastic. I do think this deserves it's own post though - while it is still a story about the psychology driving various ponies, the other chapters are all part of a single overarching storyline, while this one stands alone.
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, awesome. Simply awesome. I've seen the whole Ditzy/Bright Eyes is a closet badass idea in one or two other stories, but never pulled off this well. Proof, ladies and gentlemen, that you don't have to be a unicorn to end bitches with lightning.
Oh, wow. Nice timeline crossing with the actual MLP episodes. And ver very nice stories.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much (Eventhough I was supposed to be studying this weekend...)
Wow, that... that was powerful. Manly tears were shed. As far as I'm concerned, this is Derpy/Ditzy's backstory, I don't even care if the show itself contradicts me, This is going to be canon for me.
ReplyDeleteDerpy is teh epic? Celestia damnit that was an insane story!
ReplyDeleteAlso, the 'I want you to nail me' line is going to become a meme... just wait, you'll see.
@Stephen Cawking
ReplyDeleteThe first one was intended that way - she went with them to their not TOO bad gigs. Shaking down shop owners, yes. Pony slavery, no.
Woop - second one is getting a correction, though. Good eyes!
I really liked Ditzy's one. The way it crossed over with the show's timeline, Dr Whooves and Romana and managed to intersect the applejack story was awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe secret agent part threw me by suprise. I think I should probably feel sorry for Bright Eyes after seeing clearly then going straight back, but they seem so happy...
"Blame" made me bawwww ;_;
ReplyDeleteAwesome work!
*Finished reading Muffins*
ReplyDeleteBwuhh... That was... simply amazing. o_o
That fic definitely made its way to my favorite fics list.
I just finished reading the Ditzy chapter and while I wasn't too sure on it when the Doctor started to get involved, I really liked that his intervention was only subtle and loved the rest of the chapter and the bittersweet ending that it had.
ReplyDeleteI do have one question about that ending though. Was the last line meant to intend that Ditzy still remembers everything and is just pretending to be like she was, or that she is still the same way she was at the start of the chapter with brief moments were she remembers parts of her past?
I find the ending really sad if she went through all this and is no closer to remembering her past.
Nevertheless, great job on the chapter. This whole series is one of my favourites and I can't wait to see what you do with Trixie.
@Aero and Stephen Cawking,
ReplyDeleteThe ending is meant to by somewhat ambiguous, yes.
But whether she's in self-imposed "witness relocation"
and acting derpy on purpose, or she's derpy
for reals with flashes of insight now and then,
her foal is safe and they're adventuring around
the cosmos. A fairly happy ending, I should think.
--------------------------------------------------
Also, in unrelated news @Ezzekiel...
I couldn't resist.
http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/8343/ponypsychologynailme.jpg
:P
Ditzy Doo :
ReplyDeletePart 1 :
>Beneath the picture, the largest word on the poster read: >WANTED
-Ditzy Doo as a hunted criminal of some sorts, for whatever reasons... Well, if I ever saw such a massive ''Bleh!'' ?
>The stallion was stretched protectively across the filly, but both were bloody, unmoving
-I do believe I do not have a *Boot to the Head* of the proper SIZE for something like that; I will have to make a special order...
-Having Ditzy... possibly killing, what?, a foal ? : This is threatening to severly lower the star rating, and losing % of respect for the author, in 10sec flat, all at the same time ?
*** That's new record ! ***
(Filly:young, Mare:adult, Colt:young, Stallion:adult)
-----
Part 2 :
>Bright Eyes swept a lock of straight black mane
-The use of this name alone isn't enough to redeem the ''possible killing foal'' of last part...
>vicious Griffon crime boss in Cloudsdale by the name of Giovanni.
-Why does this sounds like a bad remake of a movie I may have once saw, but can't currently remember ?
>"The Unicorn division. Horns aren't as functional as wings
-Huhhhh... Magic ? Not ''functionnal'' ?
>I couldn't save your parents, but I promise I'll keep you safe – even if I have to raise you as my own.
-I'm 'ok' with the ''adopted'' theory, about Dinky, but ''*adopted* from recently brutally assassinated parents'' is going a bit far into it...
(Personally, I prefer the ''Biological'' theory, which is ABSOLUTELY possible on a genetical level, and other stuff that would likely take a full page to explain in details...)
>"Love you, muffin…" Ditzy whispered >"I love you too, Mommy…"
-You know... as adorable as this line is... It's a bit hard to fully appreciate it, because of the conditions set previously in this story...
-----
Part 3 :
>"He'll kill ya, ya know," Stomper said
-Well, at this point this would make for a rather poor story, IF he did.
>For a brief instant, the faint image of a caduceus inside a bubble flickered into being on Dinky's flank
-It had been a long time, since the last time I heard that word, for the medical emblem thingy...
...could be an interesting cutie mark for Dinky...
...I guess she restarted Ditzy's heart (which most probably had stopped, because of the lightning coursing through her body (and heart))...
...From what I know, Ditzy's survival (unlike the Griffin's burnt body) must be due to her steel 'shoes' (and luck), which created a direct and linear entry/exit point for the lightning ( 's discharge), while the Griffin took the direct impact of it on the exit (plus she was in the air, and him on the ground) ...
-----
(sigh) What is to say, really ?
It felt like forcing Ditzy into a role, that isn't quite for her, from some sort of old mildly interesting gangster movie of some sort ?
Personally, the content of this, here, story isn't much more than a 2stars... while every single previous stories were at least 4stars worth...
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteDear me...!
Well, I suppose one can't please everypony.
The stallion/filly comment is a fair cop, though,
and has been fixed.
Meanwhile...you *did* notice the part where she
turns out to not actually have been a criminal,
right?
That was sort of the whole point - she misunderstands
her fragmentary memories and nearly surrenders
to an awful fate before the Doctor intervenes.
That realization was the major turning point
of the story - the reader fears along with Ditzy
that she might be a monster, and then is relieved
along with her when she realizes that she isn't.
You seem to have written these earlier comments
*while* reading the story, and then not applied
what you discovered later on to them. 0_0
At any rate, the rest of your concerns seem to
boil down to exactly that - personal preference.
So...sorry it wasn't your cup of tea, I suppose.
Tried giving it a read despite the shipping, but had to stop due to how horrendously out of character most were written.
ReplyDelete@Saddlesoap
ReplyDelete>you *did* notice the part where she turns out to not actually have been a criminal, right?
-You did notice that this 'part' of the comment was made relative to 'Part 1' ?
>You seem to have written these earlier comments
*while* reading the story, and then not applied
what you discovered later on to them. 0_0
-(sigh)
...comment part 1 : *Insert commetn ABOUT Part 1*
...comment part 2 : *Insert comment ABOUT Part 2*
...etc...
I do revise them a little afterward, but keep them as close to their original form as possible, to still show what transpired AS I read the actual story...
>seem to boil down to exactly that - personal preference
-''seem to'' is the right words.
But, really, this one story was simply altering Ditzy/Derpy standard personality, traits and general ''background'' to fit inside what seemed like a movie-styled scenario with gangsters... no ?
Just saying.
So that last part... Was that hinting that her derpy-ness is just a façade, or does she just randomly slip back into Bright Eyes?
ReplyDeleteThe Ditzy Doo story has many similar elements as The Bourne Identity, I liked that.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteI just read Ditzy Doo: Muffins, and it was amazing, Ditzy super agent. It was awesome
ReplyDeleteJust read it about an hour ago and noticed an inconsistency. During the first flashback with the Doctor, where Gio the Claw first assigns Dezi the hit, he called the unicorn a Colt-Scout, whereas the chapter afterwards he calls him a Cub Scout.
ReplyDeleteDitzy's is more far-fetched than the other ones, but it was awesome.
ReplyDeleteYou explored Ditzy's fanon versions too. The normal cross-eyed Pony who's a bit clumsy, the "Derpy Hooves" nickname, and the bumbling version of her who says nonsense.
It's also rare to see someone refer to her by her canon name.
This story was oh. so. good.
ReplyDeleteI, like others, am not one for shipping, though I have read fics with the [shipping] tag that I simply couldn't stop reading because I was so engrossed in the story, like this one. I'll not bore everyone with my opinion on the subject, from your posts Saddlesoap you seem to understand personal preference anyway, so moving on...
While reading through the 'Mane 6' stories, I felt bad. Really bad. I care for all of these characters, and seeing them in such a state hit me hard. I could have said, "this is sad, I won't read anymore, 2-star due to my personal preference, not based on the quality of the writing" and been done with it. But I read on. I finished spellbound, and could not have been more satisfied. All of the arcs were wrapped up so nicely, the very last line got me to tears. To say that spellbound made the fic as a whole "all complete" would put it lightly.
As for Muffins, well... wow. I didn't see at first that it was a three-parter, and when I got to the end of the page I was all "there is no way this can be wrapped up in the next paragraph, but it says complete, I'm scared to finish!" Then I scrolled back up and noticed the chapter select, and rejoiced. Move over Fluttershy, Derpy now gets all my love. And my muffins.
*Gonna have to split this post up, try as I may to get it to fit under the limit, it's like one paragraph too big, and I couldn't cut any more, so sorry if double-posting is a no-no.*
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteI'm no expert critic or reviewer, but basing any sort of rating on a story on how you feel at any time before finishing it doesn't seem right. To me, the whole point of this kind of fic is to take your emotions on a wild ride, up and down, so saying that it's looking like a 2-star when you get to one of the 'downs' is silly.
However, there is also nothing wrong with telling how you felt as you read through it. Nothing at all. It's just that once you finish the story, it is likely that many of your opinions of a certain line or part will have been completely changed or resolved by the end, so it seems silly (to ME) to even post them, as they are moot by then.
I also thought "omg, Bright Eyes killed somepony?! Terrible, all my hate!" Then later it was resolved, and I felt better. That whole, 'feeling bad and then good' is what MAKES a story, more kudos to Saddlesoap! (though, she did end up killing, which left a bitter taste in my mouth. Then again, I forgive her cause she's adorable :D)
You also seem to have your own opinion on what is 'acceptable' for Ditzy/Derpy.
>It felt like forcing Ditzy into a role, that isn't quite for her
>But, really, this one story was simply altering Ditzy/Derpy standard personality, traits and general ''background'' to fit...
Um. Who are you to say what is and is not 'standard' for our favorite mailmare? Heck, even calling her a mailmare is stretching it, though that is pretty much commonly accepted among the fans.
She has NO canon personality as of yet, NO traits(except her eyes, and clumsiness, but that was one scene, and anypony can have a clumsy moment), and NO backstory/background. That's what makes her so appealing, the fans can make of her what they wish!
Again, there is nothing wrong with having your own image of a character. Having a fic change that and put the character in a light you don't agree with can be hard to read (Cupcakes. Not reading it. Ever). But saying that "she shouldn't be this way, or that way" seems pointless as there currently is no standard 'way' for her to be, other than what the author creates for her.
Now, I am not trying to belittle you or demean your opinions Nova25, you are completely entitled to them, as I am of mine. You just seem to be trying to push them onto the story and letting your opinion of it be affected by them. And again I'm no expert reviewer, but that doesn't seem to be the way to go about it. A well-written story with content you may not agree with is still a well-written story.
Your comment on her being 'forced' into the role is more what authors look for I believe, as that pertains to the dynamics of the writing. It's hard to write a pony 'in-character' if they don't have much of one to start with :)
Confound these ponies, they drive me to make walls of text!
TL;DR: Good fic, and Nova25, that's just like, your opinion man. :D
>Rainbow Smuggling
ReplyDeleteTwo words I never expected to see together in a sentence.
I agree with the folk who say this should be on its own. It's a fun story, but the feel of it clashes with the rest of Psychology. The other chapters dealt with interpersonal problems and the aura of doom and stress as they slowly stacked on each other.
ReplyDeleteThis... is Ditzy as a secret agent.
Confound the Nova25 comments, this is Ditzy mothacloppin' Undercover Agent Doo, you ain't gonna explain shit.
ReplyDeleteAwesome work. Plus, I'm italian.
Correct italian words and sentences in my fanfics? Correct mafia references?? Bel lavoro picciotto 8D
@Kahrn
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm...
>so it seems silly (to ME) to even post them
-Progression of thoughts based on the progression of the story itself and its occuring events...
/copy-paste/
I do revise them a little afterward, but keep them as close to their original form as possible, to still show what transpired AS I read the actual story...
>Who are you to say what is and is not 'standard' for our favorite mailmare?
-I don't care for ''me'', but I do care for the sum of all the Derpy/Ditzy/Bright Eyes stories read so far...
All those stories paint a portrait of her, with various *side-possibilities* orbitting around the *main core* of her personality that was thought by all the authors and their fans...
The main core IS what's standard or averagely expected for Ditzy.
@Taliesin
Neutral view of the content.
must finish
ReplyDeletemus finis
muf fins
muffin
I C WAT U DID THAT. also thank you and i cant wait for more.
This led to serious amounts of introspection on my part...can somepony give me a hug?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteBlast! Buckin' flashbacks... Fixed! Thanks for the spot.
--------------------------------------
@Taliesin
I'm flattered...and relieved! I spent a long time on the linguistics for this latest Appendix. I only hope the Spanish, Russian and Chinese were similarly on-the-money.
--------------------------------------
Also, let me elaborate a bit on the characterization question.
Pushing Ditzy out of character was actually the *opposite* of my intention in DD:Muffins.
In each of the Pony Psych stories, I tried to slip layers of drama and depth behind the colourful facade we see in each episode. I took it as a writing challenge to create deeper, more damaged inner lives that still resulted in the outward appearances we all recognize - like a complex, convoluted sculpture that nevertheless casts a simple shadow from the right angle.
That process was significantly harder for Ditzy Doo, because she has SEVERAL familiar outward appearances:
She is mentally challenged. Or intelligent, but struggling with a speech impediment. Or mentally solid but clumsy. Or none of the above.
She is obsessed with muffins. Or just obsessed with emptying fridges of ALL food. Or just fond of baked goods and typecast unfairly.
She is an excellent mother (or a struggling one, or an unintentionally neglectful one) to a foal who is (or isn't) adopted. The father is (or isn't) a part of her life.
She is a mailmare. Or a delivery pony in general. Or not.
Her Cutie Mark is related to soap bubbles. Or foaming at the mouth. Or bubbles in water. Or bubble wrap. Or something else entirely.
She is Ditzy Doo. Or Derpy Hooves. Or Bright Eyes.
In DD:Muffins, I tried to combine as many of those aspects as I could into a coherent story with action, drama, and conflict. I liked the idea that just as the background Ponies all must have lives that, focused on the Mane Six as we are, we never get to see, a whole dynamic life story might be lurking behind those silly yellow eyes.
As much as I could, I tried to leave no reason that what happens in Muffins couldn't be happening in the background of Griffon the Brush-Off, Boast Busters, Dragonshy and Look Before You Sleep.
If the contents of the package were not to some of my readers' liking, that's a pity, but I won't hold it against them. I like to see honest feedback - really.
However, I maintain that the package itself is appropriately shaped.
...Good grief that was long. Sowwy! >_<
I didn't get that "Allons-y" thing. Care to explain?
ReplyDelete"Allons-y" means "let's go" in French and is apparently something the Doctor says with some regularity, or so I'm told.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my stars, all of them. Then some of that guy's too. Didn't think Schism would be topped, then Ditzy Doo happened. And there was awesome.
Muffins should be a goddamn feature film. Holy HELL.
ReplyDelete(adding to the above) I haven't wept so hard since the epilogue to Spark.
ReplyDeleteI think I've shed more tears since starting watching ponies than in the entire 35 years of life to date.
And I love it.
(adding to the above) I haven't wept so hard since the epilogue to Spark.
ReplyDeleteI think I've shed more tears since starting watching ponies than in the entire 35 years of life to date.
And I love it.
This led to serious amounts of introspection on my part...can somepony give me a hug?
ReplyDelete:O great & powerful Trixie in our future! Joy! I love stories with a psychological element! Not just with ponies.
ReplyDelete:O great & powerful Trixie in our future! Joy! I love stories with a psychological element! Not just with ponies.
ReplyDeleteHrm. Anyone else hearing an echo in here?
ReplyDeleteI've only really started reading a lot of fanfic writing since I got into MLP and this kind of stuff is what's really getting me into it. I love this. I'm not any sort of expert on analyzing or critiquing writing, so I won't pretend to do that. But this story really got to me, constantly tearing me up. I also just love creative explanations and effects of things from the show that make it seem like it could go a whole lot deeper, like with the Elements of Harmony.
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to give the Ditzy Doo story five stars, I really did.
ReplyDeleteBut I just couldn't.
While it was an interesting take on Ditzy's Origins, quite possibly my favorite, it seemed like the story just.......didn't flow well.
It felt like Part 2 didn't have anything to do with Part 3, and it seemed confusing that Ditzy would all of a sudden become serious for one fight, and then back to Derpy Hooves after it was over.
While it's cool that you took a break from your usual style of ponies not getting along, or just dealing with depression, it just wasn't as enjoyable to read.
Sorry, but that's the truth.
Fun Fact: This isn't the only fanfic I've read that has Derpy kicking a Griffon's ass.
That's..........a strange coincidence, but true nonetheless
@Saddlesoap
ReplyDeleteI've loved the whole series, but I must say, while Ditzy's story did catch me off-guard, as it was nothing like what I ever could have expected, IT WAS ABSOBUCKINGLUTELY AMAZING. I truly loved it. I know other people may read things with a more critical eye and pick it apart and stuff, but I absolutely loved it.
I love how you weave plots, both fan-made and ones that appear in-show, into the story. It just makes it feel that much realer, and overall gives it just an incredible effect!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love how you weave plots, both fan-made and ones that appear in-show, into the story. It just makes it feel that much realer, and overall gives it just an incredible effect!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love how you weave plots, both fan-made and ones that appear in-show, into the story. It just makes it feel that much realer, and overall gives it just an incredible effect!!!!!
ReplyDelete