• Story: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

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    Author: Heliopause
    Description: Twilight doesn't know what to do when a hastily cast spell causes Spike to disappear
    Out of Sight, Out of Mind


    Additional Tags: Short, Episode style
    Friday, June 24, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , , ,
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    31 comments:

    1. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 8:21 PM

      Now THAT I can picture as being an episode.

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 8:23 PM

      And Trollestia strikes again.

      ReplyDelete
    3. Retired FC1June 24, 2011 at 8:26 PM

      ....................

      I like it...

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 8:37 PM

      Oh Trollestia, you so funny.

      ReplyDelete
    5. WierdplatformerJune 24, 2011 at 8:39 PM

      I totally saw 'Spike ending up in Canterlot' coming. Also, stalker Pinkie!

      ReplyDelete
    6. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 8:42 PM

      The best fanfics are those that don't stray too far from canon, particularly the mood of the show itself.

      This one's a keeper.

      ReplyDelete
    7. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 9:09 PM

      Trollestia strikes again!

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 9:23 PM

      Oh Trollestia, how we love thee

      ReplyDelete
    9. ThesynJune 24, 2011 at 9:39 PM

      that was awesome! damn trollestia :/ 5 stars easily

      ReplyDelete
    10. Chris MeadowsJune 24, 2011 at 9:40 PM

      That was brilliant. Should have been an episode.

      ReplyDelete
    11. jenovaiiJune 24, 2011 at 10:11 PM

      I now love this fic. Descriptions? Awesome. Pace? Spectacular. Trollestia? Perfectly in canon.

      5 stars easy indeed! Thanks for making me laugh!

      ReplyDelete
    12. SaddlesoapJune 24, 2011 at 10:35 PM

      Nicely done, and very episodic, indeed.

      I would love to see an animation of RD vs. streamers. :P

      ReplyDelete
    13. Cheesy HoovesJune 24, 2011 at 11:27 PM

      This needs to be an episode. Somepony fund it!

      ReplyDelete
    14. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 11:34 PM

      It was an OK story, until Trollestia came along and made it 5-star material.

      ReplyDelete
    15. ActionScripter9109June 25, 2011 at 12:14 AM

      That was awesome. Twilight freaking out, epic Trollestia, Creepy Pie... it's got all the ingredients for pure win! Instant 5-star.

      ReplyDelete
    16. GrifJune 25, 2011 at 12:33 AM

      Huh, anypony else having weird symbols display in Google Docs? Weird glitch.

      Anyways, super read. 5-stars.

      ReplyDelete
    17. AnonymousJune 25, 2011 at 1:30 AM

      We need more episode-style fics. I can totally imagine a episode like this being made.

      (I really want to see Celestia prank Twilight like that in the show)

      ReplyDelete
    18. AnonymousJune 25, 2011 at 2:58 AM

      Lol, that's Trollestia we all know and love. We need more Trollestia and less tyrant.

      ReplyDelete
    19. Present PerfectJune 25, 2011 at 9:24 AM

      This was pretty good, a nice fluffy episode-like story, up until the end, and then it became amazing. Oh, Trollestia. I am laughing for real right now!

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    20. Delta PangaeaJune 25, 2011 at 8:58 PM

      Ya can't live for over a millennium without finding ways to have fun. If that means messing with the ones who worship you, more power to ya.

      I agree with the anons. We need more nice Trollestia, less Tyrant-llestia.

      ReplyDelete
    21. BananaJune 26, 2011 at 12:10 AM

      Excellent prose, diction and narration. You totally encompassed the main casts' personalities. My mind's eye even lip synced some of the dialog.

      Five stars.

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymousJune 26, 2011 at 2:10 AM

      "Did he explode?" Fucking LMAO XD

      ReplyDelete
    23. TenchiFreak5June 26, 2011 at 9:10 AM

      That ending was perfect.

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousJune 26, 2011 at 12:45 PM

      This story had me smiling the whole time. I love these types of tales where Spike influences the events of the story.

      The only thing that drew my attention is that despite Twilight's freak outs on her teacher she would still be more worried about what happened to her long time friend than what would happen to herself.

      ReplyDelete
    25. HeliopauseJune 26, 2011 at 2:19 PM

      @Anonymous
      That's a good point. I would say she was concerned for both herself and for Spike. What I tried to get across in the story was that the potential harm to Spike was so horrible, she didn't even want to think about it too hard.

      ReplyDelete
    26. RoxorJune 28, 2011 at 1:54 AM

      Loved the ending. Absolutely priceless.

      I'm really hoping this gets turned into an episode.

      ReplyDelete
    27. AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 12:53 AM

      Trollestia, you sly bastard.

      @Roxor, I know, right? That would be awesome!

      ReplyDelete
    28. Nova25June 30, 2011 at 8:53 PM

      Interesting, funny, believable... All the good stuff ;)

      ReplyDelete
    29. Ergo CogitoOctober 17, 2011 at 8:43 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    30. Ergo CogitoOctober 17, 2011 at 8:45 PM

      This is an old story, so I don't know if anyone will read this. Oh well.

      I didn't read this until now, so I saw "Lesson Zero" first. Honestly, this feels more like a proper episode of FiM than Lesson Zero did. Both are about Twilight making a mistake, freaking out about what Celestia might do, and the problem being resolved when Celestia shows up. But "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" makes more sense to me. Twilight had a real reason to freak out rather than just being OCD to the extreme.

      As for criticism...the title doesn't make much sense because once Spike is out of sight, he's on everypony's mind. Also it was a bit irksome how much the Lunar Festival being "the most important" was emphasized. It's a heartwarming idea that everypony had been celebrating the night while Luna had been gone, but the canon story says that everyone forgot about Luna. She was gone for 1000 years, after all.

      But that's just nitpicking. Great story!

      ReplyDelete
    31. HeliopauseOctober 17, 2011 at 9:08 PM

      I get pinged whenever anyone comments here, so thanks!

      It was strange seeing Lesson Zero, because yes, it's basically the same story with a few tweaks. I think Lesson Zero has a depth my fic lacks. In my fic, it's jsut Twilight freaking out. LZ adds in her friends' reactions, and there's actually a nice, deep lesson to be learned from that.

      LZ also does two things that were really smart. First, if your main character is acting stupid, it's good to have other characters tell her she's being stupid. It forces her to justify and rationalize. I don't have that; in LZ she's got Spike and everypony harping on her, and I think it adds to the story.

      LZ also has that great moment with Celestia descending from the sky, and you think for one brief moment "oh crap, she really IS in trouble!" And once you go there, you empathize with her a little more.

      As for the title, it's supposed to be a pun. Spike went out of sight; Twilight went out of her mind.

      ReplyDelete

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