• Story: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

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    Author: Heliopause
    Description: Twilight doesn't know what to do when a hastily cast spell causes Spike to disappear
    Out of Sight, Out of Mind


    Additional Tags: Short, Episode style
    reede, 24. juuni 2011 op
    Sildid: , , , , , ,
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    31 kommentaari:

    1. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 20:21

      Now THAT I can picture as being an episode.

      VastaKustuta
    2. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 20:23

      And Trollestia strikes again.

      VastaKustuta
    3. Retired FC124. juuni 2011, kell 20:26

      ....................

      I like it...

      VastaKustuta
    4. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 20:37

      Oh Trollestia, you so funny.

      VastaKustuta
    5. Wierdplatformer24. juuni 2011, kell 20:39

      I totally saw 'Spike ending up in Canterlot' coming. Also, stalker Pinkie!

      VastaKustuta
    6. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 20:42

      The best fanfics are those that don't stray too far from canon, particularly the mood of the show itself.

      This one's a keeper.

      VastaKustuta
    7. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 21:09

      Trollestia strikes again!

      VastaKustuta
    8. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 21:23

      Oh Trollestia, how we love thee

      VastaKustuta
    9. Thesyn24. juuni 2011, kell 21:39

      that was awesome! damn trollestia :/ 5 stars easily

      VastaKustuta
    10. Chris Meadows24. juuni 2011, kell 21:40

      That was brilliant. Should have been an episode.

      VastaKustuta
    11. jenovaii24. juuni 2011, kell 22:11

      I now love this fic. Descriptions? Awesome. Pace? Spectacular. Trollestia? Perfectly in canon.

      5 stars easy indeed! Thanks for making me laugh!

      VastaKustuta
    12. Saddlesoap24. juuni 2011, kell 22:35

      Nicely done, and very episodic, indeed.

      I would love to see an animation of RD vs. streamers. :P

      VastaKustuta
    13. Cheesy Hooves24. juuni 2011, kell 23:27

      This needs to be an episode. Somepony fund it!

      VastaKustuta
    14. Anonüümne24. juuni 2011, kell 23:34

      It was an OK story, until Trollestia came along and made it 5-star material.

      VastaKustuta
    15. ActionScripter910925. juuni 2011, kell 00:14

      That was awesome. Twilight freaking out, epic Trollestia, Creepy Pie... it's got all the ingredients for pure win! Instant 5-star.

      VastaKustuta
    16. Grif25. juuni 2011, kell 00:33

      Huh, anypony else having weird symbols display in Google Docs? Weird glitch.

      Anyways, super read. 5-stars.

      VastaKustuta
    17. Anonüümne25. juuni 2011, kell 01:30

      We need more episode-style fics. I can totally imagine a episode like this being made.

      (I really want to see Celestia prank Twilight like that in the show)

      VastaKustuta
    18. Anonüümne25. juuni 2011, kell 02:58

      Lol, that's Trollestia we all know and love. We need more Trollestia and less tyrant.

      VastaKustuta
    19. Present Perfect25. juuni 2011, kell 09:24

      This was pretty good, a nice fluffy episode-like story, up until the end, and then it became amazing. Oh, Trollestia. I am laughing for real right now!

      VastaKustuta
    20. Delta Pangaea25. juuni 2011, kell 20:58

      Ya can't live for over a millennium without finding ways to have fun. If that means messing with the ones who worship you, more power to ya.

      I agree with the anons. We need more nice Trollestia, less Tyrant-llestia.

      VastaKustuta
    21. Banana26. juuni 2011, kell 00:10

      Excellent prose, diction and narration. You totally encompassed the main casts' personalities. My mind's eye even lip synced some of the dialog.

      Five stars.

      VastaKustuta
    22. Anonüümne26. juuni 2011, kell 02:10

      "Did he explode?" Fucking LMAO XD

      VastaKustuta
    23. TenchiFreak526. juuni 2011, kell 09:10

      That ending was perfect.

      VastaKustuta
    24. Anonüümne26. juuni 2011, kell 12:45

      This story had me smiling the whole time. I love these types of tales where Spike influences the events of the story.

      The only thing that drew my attention is that despite Twilight's freak outs on her teacher she would still be more worried about what happened to her long time friend than what would happen to herself.

      VastaKustuta
    25. Heliopause26. juuni 2011, kell 14:19

      @Anonymous
      That's a good point. I would say she was concerned for both herself and for Spike. What I tried to get across in the story was that the potential harm to Spike was so horrible, she didn't even want to think about it too hard.

      VastaKustuta
    26. Roxor28. juuni 2011, kell 01:54

      Loved the ending. Absolutely priceless.

      I'm really hoping this gets turned into an episode.

      VastaKustuta
    27. Anonüümne30. juuni 2011, kell 00:53

      Trollestia, you sly bastard.

      @Roxor, I know, right? That would be awesome!

      VastaKustuta
    28. Nova2530. juuni 2011, kell 20:53

      Interesting, funny, believable... All the good stuff ;)

      VastaKustuta
    29. Ergo Cogito17. oktoober 2011, kell 20:43

      Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.

      VastaKustuta
    30. Ergo Cogito17. oktoober 2011, kell 20:45

      This is an old story, so I don't know if anyone will read this. Oh well.

      I didn't read this until now, so I saw "Lesson Zero" first. Honestly, this feels more like a proper episode of FiM than Lesson Zero did. Both are about Twilight making a mistake, freaking out about what Celestia might do, and the problem being resolved when Celestia shows up. But "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" makes more sense to me. Twilight had a real reason to freak out rather than just being OCD to the extreme.

      As for criticism...the title doesn't make much sense because once Spike is out of sight, he's on everypony's mind. Also it was a bit irksome how much the Lunar Festival being "the most important" was emphasized. It's a heartwarming idea that everypony had been celebrating the night while Luna had been gone, but the canon story says that everyone forgot about Luna. She was gone for 1000 years, after all.

      But that's just nitpicking. Great story!

      VastaKustuta
    31. Heliopause17. oktoober 2011, kell 21:08

      I get pinged whenever anyone comments here, so thanks!

      It was strange seeing Lesson Zero, because yes, it's basically the same story with a few tweaks. I think Lesson Zero has a depth my fic lacks. In my fic, it's jsut Twilight freaking out. LZ adds in her friends' reactions, and there's actually a nice, deep lesson to be learned from that.

      LZ also does two things that were really smart. First, if your main character is acting stupid, it's good to have other characters tell her she's being stupid. It forces her to justify and rationalize. I don't have that; in LZ she's got Spike and everypony harping on her, and I think it adds to the story.

      LZ also has that great moment with Celestia descending from the sky, and you think for one brief moment "oh crap, she really IS in trouble!" And once you go there, you empathize with her a little more.

      As for the title, it's supposed to be a pun. Spike went out of sight; Twilight went out of her mind.

      VastaKustuta

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