[Normal][Shipping][Sad] Yay epilogue~
Author: GanonFLCL
Description: Trixie, ashamed at being upstaged by Twilight Sparkle, seeks to regain respect in the eyes of the only person who matters - herself. But she may soon learn that she cares about the opinion of someone else...Of Mares and Magic Part 1
Of Mares and Magic Part 2
Of Mares and Magic Part 3
Of Mares and Magic Part 4
Of Mares and Magic Part 5
Of Mares and Magic Part 6
Of Mares and Magic Part 7
Of Mares and Magic Part 8
Of Mares and Magic Part 9
Of Mares and Magic Part 10
Of Mares and Magic Part 11
Of Mares and Magic Part Epilogue (New!)
PDF Version
Additional Tags: Long, Magic, Redemption, Friendship, Competition
774 kommentaari:
> Long, Magic, Redemption
VastaKustuta> Long Magic Redemption
And now I want that instead of this fic. Ah well, off to read.
First?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaor not.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaNo first.
Why you care for first comment?
I didn't, But no one was commenting and It looks weird having the first "Article" have no comments
VastaKustutaI heartily approve of this.
VastaKustutaI very much like the notion that Trixie EARNED her title legitimately, rather than just being a showy braggart.
The Not-So Great and Powerful Delta repectfully requests moar.
Is it just me, or is calling Ditzy Doo (her 'official' name) by the name of Derpy just kind of out of place? It also seems mean to her as a character. I mean really, the name Derpy is just kind of insulting as it's implying stupidity about a character in which we know very little about. But I don't know maybe it's only me who feels this way.
VastaKustutaI think calling derpy derpy is fine.
VastaKustutaOkay, I like where this is going. And I can't really say calling Ditzy Derpy is an insult here, as she's clearly being characterized as a lot more intelligent than we often see her, with her slip-ups being a medical condition rather than idiocy.
VastaKustutaCan we please have some more? :D
Lovely so far (as of part three when I write this)! The characterization feels very real and the mood of the story fits well into the actual show IMO. Trixie is fleshing out as an interesting character and Pinkie Pie's being written superbly. I love the interaction between those two.
VastaKustutaNice! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
VastaKustutaI'm always in the mood for well-written Twixie. 5 stars from me!
VastaKustutaneeds more shipping, trixie is an asshole, though i do see the beginning of her learning to be a more humble unicorn =P
VastaKustutaI <3 Twilight Sparkle~
Seto Trixie: "How the hell did you do that?!"
VastaKustutaYami Pie: "It's called 'cheating'; Deal with it!"
So far this is excellent!
VastaKustutaAnd I love the cliffhanger at the end of Ch. 3.
AHHHHHHHG SUCH A GOOD STORY I NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH SO BAD.
VastaKustutaAND GOSHDANG CLIFFHANGERS.
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Please do more.
@Anon Ditzy is not Derpy. Not as far as I'm concerned. Two different ponies.
VastaKustutaAnyway, yeah, this is very welcome. A normal shipping story that hopefully will be a bit light hearted. I am getting tired of all the sad stuff lately. I can use something like this. I suppose the end of chapter three is a bit ominous, but I am going to assume its not to bad.
Looking forward to the next chapter ^^
MOAR!!!!!!!
VastaKustutaOh goodie another Twixie! The only kind of shipping I ever read - I'll give this a look after work.
VastaKustutaI lol'ed at 'Great and Powerful Roommate'.
VastaKustutathis is tasty so far.
VastaKustutaContinue~
I have to admit that I can't imagine Trixie standing up to Twilight in a straight-up contest of strength. I mean, Twilight lugged an Ursa Minor over miles. Trixie, from what we've seen, shouldn't be capable of matching it for hours. Also, the fact that the magic-hoof-wrestle event took hours makes it feel like it should a stamina contest, not strength. I'd imagine a pure strength contest to involve lifting growing weights of some sort until one participant reaches their limit–an ordeal only lasting minutes.
VastaKustutaCriticism aside, I look forward to more. The characterization is spot-on, especially Pinkie, you offer excellent humor, and Twixie is always cute.
I am only just starting with fanfics, having read only 5 or 6, but this seems to be the best. Author is developing Trixie's character in a direction I completely approve - I'd certainly love to see similar Trixie in the second season. Unfortunately such characterization of a side pony would most likely be impossible in 20 minutes cartoon:(
VastaKustutaAnyway - 5 stars and cant wait to read more:)
Me gusta. I want more.
VastaKustutaI like the idea of Trixie and Derpy being friends. It just works well in this story.
VastaKustutaAnypony else getting constant errors when trying to open part 3?
VastaKustutaHave to agree with 2% here. A strength contest is more WHAM "We're done here" than a long showdown, which is more suited to an endurance contest. HOWEVER!!! ... If they were indeed that even matched, then maybe Twilight was pacing herself/holding back to make the match last longer to make Trixie feel better about losing? Not saying that Twilight is that full of herself, but she is the Element of Magic, so I'm assuming she's the head honcho of non-alicorn mages, and, being said honcho, accepted the duel for the reasons she stated, but planned on making it as even as possible for Trixie. Either way, Twixie! Squee!
VastaKustuta@Tast
VastaKustutaGiven how Twilight's acting around Trixie, it could just be that she didn't want to show her up easily and hurt her feelings. :)
Very interesting how the story is playing out. You write the characters spot on too. I can read the dialogue in each one's voice perfectly. Looking forward to more!
VastaKustuta@DJ Kat
VastaKustutaSo Trixie had no way of knowing them by name, and in case of Fluttershy could have easily failed to notice her at all.
Trixie has been built up a ton in the various fanfics to be stronger than portrayed in the show.
VastaKustutaBut really we never learn from the show what she can do.
So I just now started reading this and I think it's amazing! I love it!
VastaKustutaNow, I think when it comes to Trixie I have to agree that she could actually be almost as powerful as Twilight, from what we saw in Boast Busters we only saw Trixie over power and embarrass a few of the mane cast with simple magic. That could easily always be her first days performance. As a show mare she would more than likely stay in each town or city and perform for multiple days but always use the first day to show up any and all who opposed her. One thing to note is that Trixie has to know some powerful magic, like I said she is a show mare after all, she wouldn't be able to hold the audiences attention for very long if she didn't have something spectacular to show them and then something big to end everything with for the grand finale. Now when it comes to the Ursa Minor her lackluster performance could be linked to her depending on the same magic she used to out perform anyone who opposed her. It probably didn't take much to outshine simple ponies across Equestria and she could have just been so used to using the same relative magic so much that it was her first go to spells for when the Ursa showed up. That and let's face it, it can be kind of hard to think properly when suddenly thrusted into a situation like that right?
Hi everyone! I want to thank you for all the wonderful support, I honestly wasn't expecting so many people to like it; I haven't done fanfiction in years - MLP gave me a newfound inspiration to write again, so it feels good to get so much love right after getting back on the horse, as it were.
VastaKustutaI am really glad people like my Pinkie Pie, it is unbelievably fun to write for her.
Some of your concerns about whether or not Twilight and Trixie are actually evenly matched *will* be answered later on in the story - without giving too much away now, just know that even if Twilight is *stronger* than Trixie, that doesn't make her necessarily *better*. There are many more events to come, some of which clearly favor Trixie.
To answer one specific concern, yes, there will be actual shipping *eventually*, right now there are just little hints being dropped that you might catch with a keen eye. The [Normal] tag comes first though! :)
Chapter 4 is rolling along nicely, I should have it completed by the end of this weekend.
Thanks again for all your support guys, I look forward to hearing more!
Want moooore :D
VastaKustutaGood job, from one writer to another :)
Dat ending...
VastaKustutaFinish ch. 4 now! I command you!
@Lindil
VastaKustutaThat explains why Trixie didn't know them, but not why they didn't know Trixie. Especially not Pinkie, who was present when Trixie put on her show and present immediately after Twilight got rid of the Ursa (standing right next to Trixie, in fact).
I almost fell into the same hole (Pinkie reacting to Trixie with "I've never seen you before, so that means you're new" enthusiasm), and it wasn't until one of my Pre-Readers pointed out that fact that I caught it.
Honestly, though, it doesn't detract too much from the story once Pinkie Pie got off that subject, so whatever. Well-written, with a background for Trixie that I haven't seen before. 5-Stars and favorited.
Great story mate! Can't wait to read more. ^.^
VastaKustuta...
VastaKustutaAnyone else notice that the picture makes it looks like Twi is molesting Trixie?
Oh well
Awesome story btw!
I DEMAND MORE!
SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!
VastaKustutaAnother great chapter.
This story really represents all the characters nicely. Lovin' it.
VastaKustutaLoving the story!!! Must...have...more!
VastaKustutaNice story. I like the buildup, the characters are true to themselves, and the story builds up tension without being overly mean or grimdark.
VastaKustutaPersonally, I image both Twilight and Trixie are talented, but in very different ways. I imagine that stage magic could be pretty complex and involving, but far different from the Element of Magic.
It's probably a lot like comparing people who demolish skyscrapers for a living to those who those who break apart mountains. Yeah, explosives are used in both, but one requires a lot of fine tuning while the other is probably a lot more geared toward gigantic blasts. (I mean, seriously, Twilight channeled a force that effected a GOD.)
Another update, another great chapter...
VastaKustutaI will have to say. I think this is one of my Fav Fan Fic's ever.
VastaKustutaLots of additional character development in this next chapter. Everybody is getting fleshed out really well. Keep it up, it's very enjoyable!
VastaKustutaExcellent fanfic. It stays true to the characterization present in the show, which is why I think I like it so much. The only negative thing I can say about it is that I can't just read it all in one sitting! Write moar chapters so I can devour them!
VastaKustutaHow is this story not a part of the 5 or 6 star ones yet?
VastaKustutaThe way the characters react to eachother is spot on, especially between Trixie and Pinkie Pie;
Trixie starts off as a jerk-ass but is actually becoming likable as the story progresses;
The shipping between the three pairs (maybe just two?) is subtle and adds a whole extra layer to the story.
Plus it's pretty free of grammatical errors and the like. A definite 5 stars from this anon
Your characterization is flawless bro, and the plot is very nice.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI also agree this is easily 5 stars, possibly 6
I'm really enjoying watching Pinkie, without ever leaving character, staging what may go down as Equestria's stealthiest guerrilla befriending. You are doing a great job of presenting her like the show does, as the wise fool whose seemingly random actions build upon each other to become a master stroke at the right moment!
VastaKustutaAttention Author!
VastaKustutaThere is a mathematical mistake in Chapter 4! All the ponies would not appear to be 80% as cool as Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Dash's points of view. The ratio is 100/120, which evaluates to 83.3% repeating, and not 80%. I demand this egregious oversight be corrected!
You've officially got my favorite characterization of Trixie.
VastaKustutatrixie is making friends! yay!
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaSpoilers (sorta whatever)
VastaKustuta"She wanted her three most cherished possessions to at last be in one place."
That line is just so dawww worthy I can't even begin to...
I am also wondering if perhaps we see the very beginnings of Trixie developing a crush on Pinkie. This would be interesting, seeing as Pinkie obviously knows about Twi's crush on Trixie... But I am probably seeing things that aren't there.
Awwwwesome chapter. Roll on numma 5!
VastaKustutaI rofled when Trixie stated to herself that she was now "armed with friends too".
VastaKustutaThere is just one thing that worries me - best part of this story (and probably any other Trixie fic) is when she meets the mane cast. Given their last encounter in "Boast Busters" it's very interesting to see how everypony deals with the situation.
VastaKustutaThis plot engine was very successfully used in the first 3 chapters of GanonFLCL's story. In the forth however, the stage is already set, and little mystery remains as to inter-character dynamics of the situation. So what I worry about is the possibility of everything continuing on the path that seems to be set now - mane cast getting to understand/like TGnP Trixie, TGnP Trixie discovering the magic of friendship along the long magical contest, Twilight falling madly in love with the other magical mare (although as of yet we still have to learn why is she attracted to TGnP Trixie at all). Such a happy resolution isn't bad in itself, but if it gets drawn out over a few rounds of the contest, with each one getting one chapter, the story may become quite boring.
I'd consider spicing things up a bit - an earthquake, Ursa Major incident, possibly somepony from Trixie's past coming back to haunt her a bit - just few ideas from the top of my head;)
Now, to make myself clear - I don't want to criticize nor to discourage. As I said a few comments before - I love the story and keep 5 star rating for it. I am just afraid it may take a turn for the worse, but given how well the author is doing, it's fortunately very unlikely:)
PS
100 bits on Paragon being Trixie's father;)
This story just keeps getting better
VastaKustuta@Lindil
VastaKustutaMy two bits... Twilight Sparkle admires Trixie's confidence. Twilight is an introvert. Trixie an exovert. She's not afraid to go all over the world making to improve herself. Her flaw, her arrogance, is all that's preventing her from becoming a real master of magic. Twilight, on the other hoof, is a rather solidary pony. She's getting better since making friends, but for years she was the Princess' student and only deeply associated with Spike... who appeared more social than she. We've seen many times where she'll hole up in her studies and research.
In other words, Trixie and Twilight are a case of "red oni, blue oni". Contrasting personalities being attracted to each other.
Just my two bits worth though.
Why oh why are Twixie fics so much better?
VastaKustutaOkay, First things first: I love this! Twixie Squeeeee!!!!
VastaKustutaAhem...Now...Your characters are spot-on! keep it up =) I love the fact that Trixie earnerd her title and is evenly matched with Twi (needs to be canon...Dream on I shall)
Really like how Trixie is accepting Friendship in to her heart =D and after friendship comes shipping. Yay!
Twixie forEVER!
Love your work, keep it up ^^
This is awesome!
VastaKustutaI like how everyone stays in character. I could easily imagine this being released as an actual episode!(minus the shipping)
Good Job!
@Anonymous I noticed that too! But, consider that Dash's exact words were, 'maybe about 80% as cool'. It is not inconceivable that she would find such precision too boring or nerdy to care about, and would accordingly round to an approximate figure when making her statement!
VastaKustutaDear author:
VastaKustutaI'm sure this was not what you meant, but in chapter 4, there are a few lines that simply made my skin crawl and made me want to vomit.
It had to do with.... cupcakes. It is the whole 3rd paragraph of chapter 4. It seems to be referance to something else....
Please tell us this is not true.
Sincerely, Laslo Freeman
In chapter 3, isn't it "cross my heart and hope to fly"?
VastaKustutaYou managed to get a Portal 2 reference and an Emperor's New Groove reference in the same line of dialogue and it made perfect sense in context.
VastaKustutaMy hat is off, sir.
Story of the Blanks reference FTW!!!
VastaKustutaNice references in this chapter, though I think there might have been a little much.
VastaKustutaOther than that, nice chapter, especially characterization.
Caught the Fairly Odd Parents reference ("How is this Ghostbusters 2?") after the charades game as well.
VastaKustutaYou know, this story makes me finally accept Twixie shipping. I did not support it until I read the first 4 chapters of this. It was then solidified by "The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle" the first actual comedy I read. I finished that at 2:30 am and was laughing hysterically at everything. I find this story quite enjoyable and Recommend it to anyone who hasnt read it.
VastaKustutaFlutterDoo? I can't see that ship Ganon. I jsut can't I'm not into shipping but that's certainly an odd couple
VastaKustuta@Ikusa FlutterDoo is supported by the show. In Fall Weather Friends, Derpy drops a rose and Fluttershy catches it.
VastaKustutaI just got rickroll'd in a My Little Pony shipfic... Well, NOW I've seen everything.
VastaKustutaI'm predicting Paragon was Trixie's dad, due to the fact that she seems distant from him and did "earn" her title.
The episode references are good for the most part, the village of the blanks reference I just wish had more utility to it, but the main plot is still as good as ever.
VastaKustutaDid I just get Rick rolled in a shipfic!?!? What the fuck, my hat is off good sir.
VastaKustutaLoving this!
VastaKustutaHope to see chapter 6 soon!
VastaKustutaWhile I am not against shipping, I don't really care for the shipping elements in the story (though to be fair, I don't really see anything as being ship-worthy from I've seen throughout the current iteration of the series), but aside from that nitpick I found myself really intrigued by this story so far, even more so from the 5th part that was just added.
VastaKustutaSo, yeah thumbs up from me, I'll be waiting to see how that plot point unfolds.
Been watching this fic with an eagle eye. I've loved every installment so far. This latest one however... when Trixie stumbled into that village, I just KNEW mark-shunning zomponies would appear. I'm predicting a swell of Story-Of-The-Blanks references for a long while now, if it doesn't get it's own fic.
VastaKustutaAnd yay, a date! Don't let them drop off on the competition though, this NEEDS to be concluded!
*reads the part about the village*
VastaKustutaOoooh, I like this...
*reads comments and finds it's only a reference*
Awwwwwwwwww.......
XD Pinkie Pie rick roll'ing everypony at the party.. i almost died, even tho old meme is old i still enjoy a good rick roll
VastaKustutaLet's see...
VastaKustutaTrixie is breaking into these speeches analytic of her own illogical behaviour and it is, quite frankly, ridiculous.
The Blanks reference doesn't make much sense as the filly who led Applebloom in regretted doing that and maybe saved her, one mightn't think she'd remake the mistake or have made the mistake before. It could be explained but it'd be difficult and silly.
Now for the actual rant.
Fanfic writers seem to have a penchant for monogamous relationships that they perceive to be most likely. My problem is the word 'monogamous'. To start with, we'll have to set some assumptions to base everything else on. Namely, the mane cast are best of best friends forever, everypony is in lesbians for each other and that pony society is not necessarily exactly like ours but rather a better version where everypony is more loving and tolerating. Then we'll have to take a look at our western views of love and relationships. Generally speaking, we tend to section off lovers and friends as completely different and varying in magnitude, love being stronger than mere friendship. This is borne partly of a heterosexual society wherein gender roles separate the two sexes to the point where those who are your friends aren't usually love interests -before you use yourself as an example, note the 'usually' and that perception of people is a dynamic thing- and thus love and friendship are pulled apart. But mostly it is borne of a romantic view of romance to be traced back a ways through history. This view that romance should occur between two people with an extra super special bond determined by fate is great for adventure novels featuring star-crossed lovers but isn't wholly appropriate when considering this group of ponies. You see, a monogamous relationship is exclusive by nature and whilst this is fine for those aforementioned lovers against the world it's not ideal for this group of bestest friend ponies. The mane cast's various personalities may clash but they are all considered on that same level of friendship, this is disrupted by that exclusive love - characters become defensive, others drift apart, never quite as open and generally the group will be distanced. If you avoid this then you trade away something else in making the love closeted or the characters shallow unless you can change the reader's fairly fundamental perceptions of relationships.
OR
You could ditch the monogamy. Putting them in a polygamous relationship or quickly banishing the idea of 'cheating' with some very promiscuous ponies, this could be used to keep the mane cast on that same level and thereby relieve the more than likely unwanted tension.
Everyone has their own favourite, but varying, ships because the canon interplay of the characters works that way. If you plunge the cast into the icy depths of sexual relationships then you must properly consider the ways they would each react, monogamy might seem nice and innocent without too great a deal of thought but it is more damaging than you might assume.
I mightn't have covered all I'd like to, please discuss.
Also, tl;dr is monogamy is bad, mkay.
Pinkie Pie's jam is "What is love?"
VastaKustutaNo one fic should have this much power.
Whatthefuckamireading.jpg
Baby... Baby.. Baby... oooooooh
VastaKustuta"Oh Celestia no..." *Click*
JB JUST GOT OWNED BY PONIES
btw i like Twilight and trixie shippings because they are so darn cute ^^
@Anonymous from 2:11am
VastaKustutaAre we really having a philosophical discussion about monogamy and the validity of romance in fiction because of a little fluff in a shipfic? Some people like to think there's someone out there for them; who says all relationships have to work as cynically as they do in our world?
Hi guys, thanks for all the responses - both positive and criticizing. Reading people's complaints and grievances is refreshing, and it helps me think of how to improve further chapters.
VastaKustutaI only really post comments here when I want to assuage a few concerns that people seem to have, just to assure you fine folks that I do keep your input in mind while writing.
First, as to the Story of the Blanks reference, it was something I added in during post in kind of a split-second decision; I'd just played the game myself literally a few hours before finishing my editing and decided it would make a *much* better source of an event in Chapter 6, which I am in the midst of writing now. The Chapter 5 point may feel a tad rushed, if you read it standalone - nothing more than a side plot - but it's actually just an introduction. I *had* planned on using an Ursa Major for this big event, but that felt too big and flashy for my tastes - I like the spookiness of the Blanks story a lot more than the action feel the Ursa version was leading towards. So trust me guys, it's not *just* a sidelong reference, it will play a part in the story itself, and I am taking the liberty of adding onto that story for my own uses. Without spoiling anything directly, I'll say that originally I had intended it to be where Trixie realizes just how strong Twilight really is, but now I'm using it to help drastically improve her relationship with Rarity and especially Applejack (hint hint), leaving the former idea for a later chapter to provide further conflict.
Second,
@Sun Ray and Conner Cogwork
There are still a lot of chapters to come - the story isn't anywhere near over yet. The competition still has a few events to go - four, to be exact. There isn't going to be one in chapter 6, because most of the chapter is taken up by the expanded event mentioned above.
Third, I laughed a little at the really big wall of text about monogamy and stuff. I really don't know how to respond, by the Anon poster just before this said it pretty well - I'm a fan of romance and 'destined love' if you will. I know some people don't like that kind of stuff, and I am trying to present it in such a way that it comes off as believable, not 'oh I just met you LET'S SCREW' - Twilight feels the connections to Trixie and wants to expand upon it, she just doesn't know how; and as we've seen Trixie has no idea what to feel - she is conflicted with wanting to surpass Twilight since she thinks she hates her, but eventually starts to realize just how well they can get along if she stops being, well, a total bitch. If that's not your cup o' tea *shrug* to each his own.
I have to agree that a bit too much stuff probably happened in this chapter, but otherwise it was a good read.
VastaKustutaI like the lean towards physical comedy that the story seems to be picking up as well.
I just realized how awesome for Trixie would be to die at the end of the story - after winning the tie-breaking event:D Think about it - for anypony to take the Great and Powerful title, it's required to defeat the current holder in a magic duel... And I guess that being recognized as The Great and Powerful [pinkiepie]FOREVER[/pinkiepie] is the happiest ending possible for Trixie;) And I really like tragic stories;)
VastaKustuta@Lindil
VastaKustutaYou realize the author would get death threats, right? :)
I'm figuring on Twilight throwing the last event so Trixie doesn't have to give up her title.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaWoo, five chapters in one afternoon! :D
I prefer her being called Ditzy in-universe, too. I kinda feel like "Derpy" is the pet name we use for her out here in the real world.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaThis would probably cause death threats from me:D On a serious note, by doing so Twilight would cheat/betray/humiliate Trixie in the worst way possible.
I didn't say it was a good idea. :) Seems like something Twilight would do, though. Cue Trixie chewing her out and making her do it right.
VastaKustutahahaha story of the blanks reference and equestria girls... provided many laughs
VastaKustutaI think a lot of people don't get what 'star-crossed lovers' really means, it's just a nitpick.
VastaKustutaStar-crossed literally means 'opposed by the stars', which is most easily interpreted as 'destined to fail' since when the phrase originated, people believed you could use the stars to tell your future (astrology).
It does not mean 'fated to be together'.
Romeo and Juliet were star-crossed lovers. What happened to them? THEY DIED.
Now, I can't say the author is going to make them star-crossed lovers or not - it would a wild troll moment to lure everyone along on this Twixie ship and then go 'haha nope' at the very end.
pardon my french, but that was a FUCKTON of shipping, cant wait for the next one, this will get strange. also i am a sucker for pop-cutlure jokes, thanks or the lolz.
VastaKustutaYou devious bastard. Don't think that I didn't catch that Fairly Odd Parents reference
VastaKustutaWhats the story of the Blanks?
VastaKustutaI don't think you all have fully grasped this yet. Don't you remember "The Cutie Mark Chronicles", everyone who got their cutie-mark due to Dashie's sonic rainboom was destined to become friends.
VastaKustutaSince Trixie's cutie-mark-event also had to do with Dashie's sonic rainboom, it can't be a stretch of the mind to say that Trixie may be meant to join this group of friends after all?
In fact, maybe her and Twi are destined for one another, seeing as how they both would have suffered massive bursts of power at about the same time due to the same event. It would explain any sort of powerful connection they have.
Also, hats off to the author for rick-rolling all of us. That was very well-played.
MLP fanfic Cliche #2, make up a personality for Trixie
VastaKustutaMLP fanfic Cliche #3, Twilight and Trixie are both good at magic, THEY WHERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER
And, just for the hell of it, MLP fanart cliche #22, Twilight wearing Trixie clothes is hot, I mean, cute.
Oh, good. Chapter 6 is out. Now I have a plan for my evening.
VastaKustutaOh goodness :) so many references, i love the shout-out to the famous "i'll have what she's having"
VastaKustutaHehehehehehe...I'm glad they put in that town from "Story of the Blanks". Heck, that town should become canon!
VastaKustutaMOAR BLANKS
VastaKustutaDid this story just cross over with Story of the Blanks? ...I like it.
VastaKustutaThis is amazing not only is there a story of the blanks there is now crossovers and a 8 bit game for the story of the blanks.
VastaKustutaOh wow.
VastaKustutaThose last two chapters, after I saw that this story updated again, made me fall in love with this story.
TWIXIE TWIXIE TWIXIE!
chapter 4 made me a bit angry... boasting anoying bitchy trixie aint fun.
VastaKustutabut since it's labeled shipping maybe i'll get to read about cute awkward loving trixie...
i'll keep reading..
This story is so touching and sweet. I was up late last night until almost dawn because I was so enthralled with it. Had to stop after chapter 5 at that point so I'm going to read the next one today. I just love it so much ;w;
VastaKustutaChapter six was awesome, don't understand the relevance of a zombie-pony town, but like it anyway.
VastaKustutaThis story!!!! This story!!! unfff i love it so hard this is probably tied with Progress: Luna vs. series of all time favorite story how you make so good
VastaKustutaKEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! And thank you for updating regularly!
Story of The Blanks was already quite confusing and didn't offer much explanation and I felt a bit lost with the open ending. Sadly, Chapter 6 suffered from some of the same flaws.
VastaKustutaStory of The Blanks deserves its own story, complete with the whole origin, the nature of the curse and some kind of solution / end of the curse. As a side note in story about Trixie and Twilight it lacked a bit of depth. If you would continue to write about it, I would encourage you to do so as a side story and not let it interfere with the plot that I actually came to see for.
Well anyway, chapter 5 will be hard to top no matter what :)
I don't know why, but when the mane cast was surprised that Trixie still wanted to battle, it pissed me off. Please don't have it end with them just getting together, it's so cliche, and every story does that. As for the story itself, it's good, but you made twilight act really naive. But not in the way of the show. In the show, she does everything by the books and has no experience with most things. But here, you just made her act like she's stupid.
VastaKustuta@Acriaos
VastaKustutaThe story of the Blanks is, to my knowledge, a game on newgrounds that was made in pure NES style. I don't know if it had any origin besides that, but you can go play it and find the already made story for yourself.
@Lio
VastaKustutaI already played the game there and thought it was confusing and didn't had a real ending. That's what I meant with my comment before, I disliked the same things about the game as about chapter 6.
Mostly though I thought, it didn't really fit in the story and a continuation of the story of the blanks game would work better on its own.
@Anonymous
Where did you see Twilight as stupid? She acted naive at some points, but it never felt stupid in any way to me. She just did everything by the books and seemed to leave Trixie some privacy. Probably she even suspects that there is more about the Paragon story, but doesn't force it out of Trixie.
But I agree that by now the mane cast should understand Trixies reasons to continue the duel, their surprise felt out of place.
As for the ending: Personally I would love to see them get together in the end, there are some cliches to avoid but if the story continues as well written as it started then I'm confident we'll see something a bit more well thought out than "xy won and then they fucked"
"she couldn't help but wonder if writer/director BayBreeze was getting to lazy or slowly going insane."
VastaKustutaThat's gotta be the funniest line I've read all week. I don't even know who it's suppose to be paroding if it is at all, but it does fit alot of hollywood types perfectly.
Pretty awesome story so far, though I figured out(or at least pretty sure of)what Trix and Paragon's connection is. And I loved the by-the-books yet chaotic fun of Twilight's date.
Someone's been hanging around Newgrounds I see.
I have to think that Twilight is employing some Obfuscating Stupidity here. She's sharp enough to see the shape of what Trixie is dancing around, and form a couple of hypotheses. I think she's just playing dumb to respect Trixie's desire for privacy.
VastaKustutaCan't say I liked the Blanks thing. When it was just a little "what the hell was that" segment in ch. 5, it was a nod to someone else's work. This way it feels like... How to put this?... It's not the story you're telling right now. It's this whole other plot that should be its own story but instead got a couple of pages shoved in, and it doesn't really fit.
@ultra8
VastaKustutaBaybreeze = Michael Bay. Make more sense now? :)
Please O Please Write The Chapters Quicker D:
VastaKustutaGotta say, this is probably my #1 favorite ongoing fic right now, and probably my favorite portrayal of Trixie. I'm relieved that this isn't one of those stories where everyone is out of character and automatically likes the protagonist, who's the best at everything and can do no wrong.
VastaKustutaHere, the characters are portrayed reasonably as one would expect, such as Rainbow Dash being the most initially hostile to Trixie and Pinkie Pie being the friendliest. Trixie's a hard worker who's had to earn her friendship with the others and regards Twilight enough as an equal to merit the Duel, and accept her losses gracefully.
The little things are what get me though, like Derpy's reasoning for wanting to be Trixie's friend, or Trixie's attachment to her mother's cape and hat. And I've got a sneaking suspicion about Trixie's Paragon story, but I'll wait till the next few chapters to see if I'm right.
But, I think that while Trixie's determination is admirable, you should be careful not to make her appear like the Duel is all she cares about.
Some people complain about Twilight liking Trixie being too much too soon, but I chalk it up as natural for a socially awkward bookworm's first crush. Personally, I'm all for her and Twilight hooking up, just so long as they don't suddenly fall MADLY in love with each other, in typical shipfic fashion. Blech. Anyway just keep at it! I'm eagerly mashing F5 in anticipation!
what event did trixie win?
VastaKustutaHaving read the new chapter, I'm really enjoying this more all the time. Kinda starting to feel sorry for Trixie, she picked a bad target to duel with, but I suspect that she know that by now. :D
VastaKustutaThis story keeps getting better. Amazing work!
VastaKustutaShouldn't it be star-6 though?
Hah, another great addition! Shame though, took ideas straight from a big story I was tossing around in hopes of writing something of my own. Ah well ;3
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaShe won the technique one, where they used illusion magic to entertain. Totally upstaged Twilight, as expected :)
@ 12:23 anon 3 comments up
VastaKustutaWhile I think it's six star worth, Seth's standards don't (not yet) A six star rating requires an average rating of 4.9 with at least 40 ratings. Unless my mobile browser is displaying incorrect info, there is only 12 ratings, but hey, 5 stars!
On topic: Is it just me, or was the CH7 twist a complete blindside? Was there any hints? Took me totally by surprise :o Good story!
I think this fic is forever doomed to remain at that cusp between 5 and 6-star - every time there's an update it shoots up to 4.9 (I even saw it at 5.0 after chapter 4) for like a few hours, then drops back down. I don't know how that works if you can only vote once *shrug*
VastaKustutaMe Gusta @ Story
VastaKustutaWait so a story has to average 4.9 to be 6 star...?
VastaKustutaThat...that doesn't make sense to me.
I love how Rarity gets treated as having near-no magical ability. Stupid Rarity.
Also Twilight breaks out the frikking big guns on this one. I love assertive, back-Trixie-into-a-corner Twilight now.
Also I wonder what the big secret is. Judging by the need to prove herself, I feel Trixie didn't obtain her title quite as legitimately as first thought.
I LOVED the story... but I have to say, I forced myself to stop reading when they went back to the forest. After the first trip to the forest I was more than a tad scared... I'll read through it later Im sure, but it just seemed to PLUMMET from where it had been in the first few chapters straight into nightmare land... and I knew that it had to be plot relevant, so it would show up again.
VastaKustuta@CoffeeGrunt
VastaKustutaIf I had to guess, I would say that Paragon died during their duel. Or he was ill/weakened so he couldn't perform at 100%.
@Tast
VastaKustutaWhat, about Trixie's parents? I don't know about anyone else, but I've been waiting for that particular reveal for like... 4 chapters.
And yeah, I'm expecting her "big secret" is that she challenged Paragon when he was sick and weak.
Not that it implies any duplicity -- he might have asked her to. Heck, Paragon might have issued the challenge himself!
@Tast
VastaKustutaIt must be, because at the time of writing, there's 323 ratings and an average of 4.9.
I can't honestly say this is my favorite ongoing fic, but it's in the top 3 for sure. I love how you've developed Trixie as clearly unsure about her own feelings of Twilight and her new situation, instead of just "Ohai, I love you now" as she struts into town disliking everypony else. It adds a believable depth.
Twilight's devious plan to get herself and Trixie alone had me applauding you when it dawned on me. You deserve all of these stars.
I have this feeling that TGnP Paragon may have died/suffered serious injuries during his duel with Trixie. At least I am all for it - "T" in Trixie always stood for Tragic in my book;)
VastaKustutaPS
I really expected Trixie to win 4th event. Thumbs up for the story developing in unexpected way:)
telll meee the seeeecreeet.... XD
VastaKustuta@Lindil
VastaKustutaWhen Trixie described the event, the first thing that flashed into my head was Twilight levitating several dozen apples at the end of Applebuck Season.
Clever Twilight FTW!
GanonFlCL, I love this story. Its one of the dew that I watch for every day.
VastaKustutaP.S. I think I've figured out what TGaP Trixie's final secret is!!!! I dont want to spoil it though
@LordOfTheWrongs
VastaKustutaOh yeah, that did happen, didn't it?
Aw man, I just finished 1-6 and thought I could rest. There's a 7 up now? *read read*
VastaKustutaThis is a really good story, still has me captivated and I can't wait for the next chapter ^-^
VastaKustutaI'm only on chapter 3, but I have to say this:
VastaKustutaBEST. PINKY PIE. DEPICTION. EVER.
I demand more. Give me more.
VastaKustutaOr I'll harvest you into lasagna ._.
Everypony knows what lasagna is truly made of...
I keep getting the feeling this is a set-up for cupcakes. Hopefully by the end (currently chapter 5), I'll rest assured it isn't. Good so far!
VastaKustutaLoving the Derpy/Ditzy interaction, you make her come off as a really cool character.
Approve, I do.
Okay, I'm finally done (up to chapter 7).
VastaKustutaI can't say I believe Twilight's crush, but I'll play along and attribute it to bookworm's naivete.
Trixie's character evolution, feels SUPERB. I think it's just in the right pace, with ups and downs, and with sometimes helping the situation and other times not helping. I look forward to what will become of Trixie's self-image and behaviour in this story more than anything else. I am already so so delighted with the journey so far. :)
After chapter 3 there nearly isn't enough of Pinky Pie in this story. I repeat, this is the best Pinky Pie characterization I have ever seen in a fanfic... better than, dare I say, a couple of the official episodes. I also like how you didn't have her mane falling straight when she was a little unhappy (I hate how some other fanfics trivialized this - it's supposed to happen only when her mood is beyond dire).
All the other characters are spot on too, but they're harder to miss. ^^
Can't wait to read more!!
This is an excellent story, extremely good. I knew that Paragon was her father beforehand, weren't too subtle in your previous chapters. And I am liking how this story is panning out. At first I was a little bothered by how quickly Twilight had confessed. But I am severely interested in what will happen next, we have Magician's duel, cursed village, shipping, and than pure randomness. It's like 4 stories rolled into one.
VastaKustutaThe only problem I draw from this fanfic is that chapter 7 was riddled with spelling errors and syntax problems. It was okay for the most part, just had to add an extra letter while reading, but there were a couple instances where I had to re-read the same line 2-3 times over.
Either way, can't wait for chapter 8, excellent job, I only wish the chapters could be a little bit longer.
All my stars.
VastaKustutaALL MY STARS.
No seriously, I mean, Trixie has managed to piss me off for the first 7 chapters (I realized that I had to comment on this before I finish chapter 8 and go into a coma waiting for more), but.. I don't know why, I just like the variety of this approach to a ship. It's out in the open way before it is - if it even ever becomes - reciprocated.
That, and the storytelling is great. I mean, you know, as a by the by, the rest, aka everything, is great. I think I found like two typos, and that's the extent of my critique, ha.
Excellently written story and I can't wait for Chapter 9!
VastaKustutaCurse you, Chapter 8, why did you have to end there!? I really want to know what is going on with this latest development...
VastaKustutaMan, I am loving this characterization of Trixie as this outsider on the inside type. It's fun to see her persona being slowly peeled away the way it is. I'm not really a fan of shipping, so I'm doubly appreciative of your fairly subtle approach to the ship with the fic's focus being almost solely on Trixie's end. Tis awesome.
VastaKustutaWe have a cliffhanger here:) Still, nice to see Trixie finally win some event:) Go Trixie! Yay.
VastaKustutaAAHHHHHHHHHHH
VastaKustutaWhy, why, why did chapter eight have to end there?
My my that is a steep cliffhanger.
VastaKustutaIt'll be Celestia saying "Woo hoo you go girl *fluttershyyay*"
Noooooooooooooo! Need.. more.. stupid cliffhanger.
VastaKustutaGreat chapter though.
The end almost reminded me of Kindness' Reward.
Okie Dokie... loki?
VastaKustutaHas no one else noticed that pinkie pie is constantly referring to the shape-shifting norse god of trickery and deceit?
Known for taking the form of a mare, as well as an elderly woman? ('auntie' pinkie pie)
Gentlemen, the evidence is all there. I'm just interested in seeing when Sleipnir will finally make an appearance on the show.
Read three chapters in one sitting (note to self: Don't get three chapters behind again).
VastaKustutaChapter 6: I liked how the story didn't go along the way I thought the chapter was going to, and what ended up happening was quite a curious happenstance. I'm intrigued about the implications of what's happening.
Chapter 7: Haughty Twilight is not only Best Twilight, but also Scariest Twilight. I was just as shocked as Trixie was. The reveal about Paragon wasn't that surprising, to be honest (though you still handled it very well, treating it as an inevitability rather than a huge plot twist) I'm fairly certain that I have a good idea what Trixie's major secret is, too; but I'm still interested in finding out more about Trixie's past. Your Trixie backstory is my favorite of them all, and I can definitely see it being a pseudo-Canon one.
Chapter 8: This was the perfect example of the right mix of funny and serious that I've come to expect from this story. In particular, your Dash and Pinkie characterization are both spot on, and I love how Trixie's solution to winning the event was basically a rocket jump.
The past 3-4 chapters of this you've really come into your own, and I feel that this is shaping up to be a good contender for the "drop everything and read it" level that I've thus far only handed out to three other stories.
The Great and Powerful Trixie is no longer referring to herself in third pony! WHOA! And she didn't even realize this! I remember when my regional idioms sank into a close friend of mine and he accidentally blurted out a "bah" (it's a southern Brazil thing that no other Portuguese speakers have, analogous to Canadian "eh") our conversation halted into an awkward silence and then pure laughter. We couldn't even remember what we were talking about afterwards! But I guess Trixie's case is different, her third pony speak is constructed as opposed to "since birth" (I suppose).
VastaKustutaThat was a cruel, cruel cliffhanger… built on the previous chapter hints, no less! CRUEL, I say! MOAR! MOAR! *drollz~*
I like to see some of Fluttershy for once. I could picture the whole thing. I also love how you made Rainbow act all cranky and irritated, and still, despite RBD's intentions, it came out awesome and funny! :)
Not sure if it's appropriate or intended, but I'd like to see a little more of the other ships in the story. They're way less important than the two protagonists, of course, but I'm just curious to see them together being couples and stuff.
Also, I'd like to elaborate on my previous comment about Twilight's crush. At Boast Busters, Twilight specifically says that she does not envy Trixie in any way, as she's trying to fit in and be liked and she sees clearly that nobody likes her. This (nobody liking Trixie) still holds true when Trixie comes back to duel her. Then, reading chapter 5, we come and read her saying pretty much the opposite while cleaning up the party at Pinkie's. I don't buy it. It definitely doesn't spoil the story, it's a great story still, I'm enjoying it a lot, but I really see this as the most gaping plot hole and I'm really not comfortable with it.
Shut up and take my Stars!
VastaKustutaLove your work, can't wait for chapter 9 =)
After chapter 7 I can't bear to read anymore, poor twilights been bullied enough.
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaThis story's awesome. And it's Twixie. Just read it all from midnight to 4:20 AM and it was four hours and twenty minutes well spent. I love this fic! Best one I read, I'm pretty sure. Or maybe an extremely close second. Anywho, I WANT MOARRRRR! :D
VastaKustutaAnd yes. That was all in one sitting. No breaks. Just Twixie.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaWait...
So the chapter where Twilight stands up for herself and straight-up makes Trixie her *bitch*, so to say...is the chapter you think Twilight's been bullied enough?
I think we've got something backwards here.
My first fanfic. And i'm liking it. All the charictors are incredibly believable especialy pinkie pie. I seriously cannot wait for part 9
VastaKustutaAw man, I can't wait for part 9.
VastaKustutaI'm playing a game called story of the blanks, which is very similar to the cursed village side story, is it based off this, or is this based off that?
VastaKustutamy guess is it is not an earned title, but inherited - btw no offense but I think the romance is a bit much
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaYes, someone noticed.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaEr, yeah, this. Trixie's been steadily getting better about the bullying, not worse! I like the fact that it's not "all at once", she's just gradually getting less abrasive as she sees what it's like to really have friends.
@Anonymous
I don't think so. Way back in chapter 3 they were discussing it, and noted that you only get a title by besting its current holder or by having it bestowed on you, presumably by Celestia or whatever body administrates Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaP.S. Don't complain. The sign over the door said "shipping" when you walked in.
This story is really addicting.
VastaKustutaPart 9 come soon please!
@Tast
VastaKustutaRemember how you said Twilight may be holding back near the beginning of the comments section?
You were right.
Insanely addicting.
VastaKustutaKeep up the good work ^^
I've read a lot of Trixie stories, but I don't think I've ever seen one where she got that pissed off.
VastaKustutaAnd I totally used to play chess with someone who played exactly like Pinkie does. It is absolutely maddening when they kick your ass every time.
Woo part 9!
VastaKustuta*Reads*
I love this fic so much!
VastaKustutaAlso, I think I should mention this:
VastaKustutaManly tears for real during the scene at the end of the chapter.
@TenchiFreak5
VastaKustutaIndeed.
I am perched on the edge of my chair here, waiting to see how this wraps up. It has been a rollercoaster so far!
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaYeah, I agree it's a bit much, but it hasn't been reciprocated yet, which as of now is the only thing keeping Trixie's characterization believable. She's basically fighting Twilight for the inheritance her father left her now. If she wins, it's a hollow victory because Twilight was holding back earlier and Trixie's already admitted to herself that she isn't as powerful. If she loses she loses the greatest thing linking her to her father's memory.
In either case I can't see a romance forming unless she either truly lives up to the title or legitimately wins it back somehow, and both of those involve defeating Twilight which seems to be impossible. I suppose we'll just have to see how things go.
Pinkie Pie, I never want to play board games with you! Yeesh!
VastaKustutaLove chapter 9! All my complaints went out the window too! And poor Twilight, so adorkable even when she's trying to be smug! :)
Paragon made a pretty poor choice of last moments with his daughter. All for the title. I can't see a whole nation falling into chaos because of a title, but HEY, it's just fiction. And a great one! :) I do admit that the announced surprise did surprise me anyway!
How long has been Trixie around now? 15 days?
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI have the impression this duel has been more important to Twilight than to Trixie so far. Trixie's deep in her self-discovery journey, and, thankfully, orientation crisis plays no part in it.
I don't understand Twilight's logic. She knows that Trixie is doing this to prove she is better, so why would Twilight hold back? Doesn't Twilight know that would defeat the purpose of the duel, and make Trixie angry if she won and then found out she isn't actually better? Also that letter seemed like so much of a plot device, with Paragon basically addressing issues he had no idea would come up.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaRegarding Twilight's logic, I'd say it's actually consistent with her character - she's pretty oblivious when it comes to stuff like that so she probably never even considered it at the time. I agree with you about the letter, though.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaIt seems to me that she did know that it would make Trixie furious if she found out, but Twilight decided to do it anyways and take the risk for what Twilight thought would be the bigger reward. It took Celestia herself to talk Twilight out of it.
Doesn't seem particularly out of character for Twilight to think that way. She had more or less the same thought process in Winter Wrap Up when she went to help Applejack on the farm; knowing that Applejack in particular would probably take the most offense out of all of her friends to Twilight using magic to help, but doing it anyways in order to prove her self-worth.
I love the Bill and Ted reference in the Trixie vs. Pinkie games. No Twister though?
VastaKustutaAUTHOR
VastaKustutaY U NO PUT SAD AS A TAG???
I must say... Shipping aside, this is the best damn fanfic I've ever had in my life.
VastaKustuta(ATHF Reference)
Daaaaaawwwwwwww. Trixie finally gets some respect in this fandom. Mind you - not nearly enough, but it still is a step in a right direction:) All hail The Great and Powerful Trixie (even if she's going to loose her title in the next update).
VastaKustuta*whistle*
VastaKustutaI've been loving this story all along, but chapter 9... Chapter 9 was simply stunning. An impressive piece of literature, fanfiction and all; The romance feels genuine and organic, the dialogue is masterfully paced, and the character evolution hits all the right notes, obvious without feeling ham-fisted and subtle without being confusing. Bravo, and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
The only problem with this fan fiction is that the show's not going to be able to live up to it.
VastaKustutaI adore Twilight Sparkle -- she's easily my favorite pony. I thought Trixie was a one-dimensional jerk, but she was treated shabbily in "Boast Busters".
VastaKustutaI should like this fic, but I don't.
Twilight Sparkle is being a total creep and is sexually harassing Trixie, and that's gross. She's abusing her superior power and political connections to trap Trixie in a no-win situation where Trixie can't get away and is forced to confront Twilight's unrequited love.
This is massively out of character for Twilight, who tends to err on the side of caution in her dealings with other characters.
TL;DR -- this is a potentially fun fic that is ruined by the unfortunate implications of its shipping elements. DO NOT WANT.
Chapter 9....Epic Foreshadowing....Gaaah, gonna have to wait for Chapter 10 now but it will be worth it ^-^
VastaKustutaYay ^.^ Chapter 10. Can't wait.
VastaKustutaBeautiful story I love stories that focus on characterization and development while remaining so true to the spirit of each character.
VastaKustutaSo, and hour after I read the story I got to thinking about something. A spark that Chapter 9 made me feel. And while this is more or less copypasta from a forum post I made earlier this morning, I feel I should tell the author as well:
VastaKustutaLet me preface this by saying that I always recognized Trixie as the MLP version of me. Before I started liking her, before I took that silly personality test, before I was even done watching Boast Busters for the first time, I knew.
That's why I originally hated her so much, and that's why I didn't bat an eye when I took the thing and Trixie popped up as the result. And its why I really don't enjoy watching Boast Busters anymore, because it is all really uncomfortable watching something that plays out like only partially-exaggerated events from your life orchestrated by a not-at-all exaggerated equivalent of yourself.
Far more times than I care to admit, I felt that I was the absolute cream of the crop, hot shit with no need to prove anything (but I would gladly do it anyways), a truly dependable and trustworthy person who would be there for you when the chips were down but was nonetheless such an inherently (and intentionally) unlikeable sardonic smartass that you would never find out. I've mellowed out considerably over the years (obviously), but I still feel pangs whenever something like Boast Busters pops out, because that is me not that many years ago.
And Of Mares and Magic, in a far better way than I did when I tried to do the same thing with my own story, perfectly captures my progression from intentionally antagonistic asshole to (in the latest chapter) blunt but ultimately friendly foil. The backstory crafted for Trixie in this story is similar (though ultimately quite a bit more tragic) to my younger life. The way Trixie acts in the first couple of chapters is similar to my first couple of years of high school (back on the scene with a chip on my shoulder and pissed at the world for dealing me such a crappy hand, ignoring that I gave myself 3 out of the 5 cards I was dealt), with the events of Boast Busters being a similar allegory to my Middle School years (being shown up spectacularly over something I claimed I could handle).
All the players are there, and I can transfer each role the Mane Six had to someone who played (mostly) the same role in real life, Pinkie Pie included. Even the role played by Princess Celestia can be assigned to someone in my real life, albeit somewhat more loosely. And the cooling effect that they all are having on Trixie is spooky.
I know Trixie is growing progressively as the story goes on, because I myself grew as a character in the same way. I know how the changes are causing her facade to chip away despite her attempts to build it back up in response, because I experienced them. I feel every feeling that she is going through, because I felt them in real life. I know what she is going through, the mixed emotions being caused by having people that she can truly depend on, because I've been there. I know that the build up of the story is realistic, because I've lived it.
And, more than Ballad, more than Dangerous Business, more than The Party Never Ended, even more than TNTNE, I feel this story. I connect with it. I'm personally attached to it. I can find it within myself to look at the proceedings and root for the best resolution, knowing that the best resolution and the happiest resolution are not mutually exclusive. Trixie basically started this story to find out a little bit about herself, about what she is capable of, about her destiny; but in the process she has helped me come to terms with a little bit about myself.
tl;dr: Thank you, GanonFLCL. Thank you for writing this story.
Wow...this used to be a comedy piece, and BOOM, chapter nine happened.
VastaKustutaTo have what I suspected happened to Paragon turn out to be true, then have that event twisted by a further revelation was just...wow.
I've already five starred this, so I don't know how in the hell I'm going to embelish the fact that I now love it even more.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaShe's never actually thrown an event -- just held back enough to make the match look reasonably close.
It's basically the same mentality as she had in Boast Busters and Ticket Master. Twilight has a track record of going out of her way to avoid hurting peoples' feelings for fear of alienating them.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI'm not really seeing what you're talking about. Pinkie was the one who suggested their date, and Trixie readily rationalized it by looking for a weakness. The sleepover thing was a bit of a trap, but I got the sense that Twilight was thinking, "Oh, so you want to play it that way, do you?"
Can you expand on what's bothering you?
Favorite chapter so far. Simply breathtaking. You are doing a fantastic job on this, and I can not wait to see where this goes.
VastaKustutaI dearly hope that Trixie ends up winning the Duel - That way, she can keep her title.
VastaKustutaEven -more- I hope that due to X / Y reason, she has to flee/travel from Ponyvile again, this way. I can merely imagen it as something that happened inbetween season 1 and 2, indstead of it being pure fanon 8D
@LordOfTheWrongs
VastaKustutaA big part of the exposition is driven by Twilight using her connections to Celestia to discover Trixie's most painful secret, motivated by a crush Trixie doesn't really reciprocate. This is creepy.
Twilight can be arrogant, nosy, and self-absorbed, but she's also consistent about not abusing her powers and position and respecting the feelings of others. So the creepy behavior is seriously out of character.
Most of these problems would go away if the shipping angle were excised from the story.