• Story: I Wont See You Tonight (Update Complete!)

    [Sad]

    Author: CoffeeGrunt
    Description: Life is hard for an orphan roaming the streets of lower Canterlot. However, Trixie has an inspiring angel to join her in her climb to stardom. Unfortunately, both sisters soon find that the rise to stardom is filled with hate.
    I Wont See You Tonight

    Additional Tags: Trixie, Twilight, Cassandra, Promise, Redemption.

    Side Stories after the break! 



    [Sad] Story #2! 

    Description: After years of performing in her sister's name, Trixie's spiralling career finally crashes to the ground. Can she relieve herself of the shadows chasing her past and finally gain closure from her loss?
    Trashed and Scattered

    Additional Tags: OC Ponies, Trixie after Boast Busters

    [Sad] Story #3 (New!)
    Description: Trixie confronts Inmate 402 about her past, and ultimately regrets what she uncovers
    Unbound


    Additional Tags: Prison break alicorn band FREEDOM!Incomplet, Trixie, Inmate 402, Marshal

    [Sad][Shipping] Story 4

    Author: CoffeeGrunt
    Description: Trixie returns to Ponyville to face her past and start anew. However she finds more than she anticipates in the rural village, and not all of it is bad.
    A Little Piece of Heaven

    Additional Tags: Pinkie Pie, Trixie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Cassandra Trinkie Pie redemption new start

    54 comments:

    1. Needs much more Trixie.

      ReplyDelete
    2. It's a story about Trixe, from beginning to end. How mych more Trixie could you want?

      ReplyDelete
    3. I really enjoyed it, thanks for sharing! Although the labels confused me a bit since there was no TS in it... but that has nothing to do with the quality of your work, which was very nice!

      ReplyDelete
    4. Yeh the original had Twilight in it. I was half-asleep while posting it to Sethisto, so I musta forgot that I removed her.

      And I ran out of Trixie dust, I think I need about 20% more to make this an entirely Trixie fanfic.

      ReplyDelete
    5. enjoyed it, makes me wonder how twilight could fit in,

      maybe

      watch Trixie preform
      meet her back stage thanks to her status
      forget about her
      meet her later in ponyville
      ?????
      profit

      ReplyDelete
    6. Twilight is now in the doc. Enjoy.

      Also 4.5/5 for my first fanfic? Is it socially acceptable to fist-pump at the moment? Actually what am I talking about, I watch My Little Pony, social acceptibility doesn't exist anymore!

      ...

      *Fist-pump.*

      ReplyDelete
    7. you sir skipped all steps and directly went to PROFIT!!!


      congratulation :P

      ReplyDelete
    8. Is this a Avenged Sevenfold ref? It's probably not but that would would make this story 20% cooler. Part 2 of that song is insane by the way.

      This is a great and powerful story. Good job, kind sir.

      ReplyDelete
    9. If Lauren follows Equestria Daily, I think she would be immensely pleased with this story. I know I was.

      This is an exceptionally talented community we have here... I'm a pretty experienced writer, and I've been considering writing a MLP fanfic, but I'm beginning to have second thoughts! I don't know if I can stand up to stuff like this!

      5/5 from me!

      ReplyDelete
    10. Nice story. Apparently there was an A7X reference; didn't catch it. Oh well...

      5/5

      ReplyDelete
    11. This was really well done, I enjoyed it a lot. Almost brought tears to my eyes. I can't blame the pony that shot Cassandra nor can I blame Trixie for wanting vengeance so bad.

      I almost wish this was canon.

      ReplyDelete
    12. By the way, it gave me goosebumps multiple times.

      ReplyDelete
    13. Stunning show, simply amazing, and full of emotion.

      Twilight really IS best pony.

      Oh, and that bit with Trixie was kinda cool too...

      *brick'd*

      ReplyDelete
    14. ;_; Bravo! Hell, even more so, Bravisimo!

      That was such an amazing back story it brought me to tears.. Well done Coffee, I'm eager to see more of your work!

      ReplyDelete
    15. Yes the title is an A7X reference. Because A, they're awesome, and B, it fitted pretty well IMO.

      I'm glad everyone enjoyed it, to be honest, it was about two weeks of writing and bothering Sethisto to get his pre-readers to proof it for me.

      As far as a sequel? Or more work, I have ideas for what I could do/how it would play out. My current idea takes place after Boast Busters, and involves adoption. I'll have to see how it plays out when I write it though.

      ReplyDelete
    16. This didn't do that much for me until about the halfway point of the story, when I started applying what happened here to what I knew would end up happening in Boast Busters.

      And then oh my god why is this so sad.

      ReplyDelete
    17. 3/5. Well written. but the tragedy out of nowhere didn't really do much for me. Trixie didn't change at all because of it, just kept doing what she was doing.

      ReplyDelete
    18. I'm planning on expanding on the death spiral of Trixie's career in the sequel. It'll happen after Boast Busters, but deal with the time in between as well. She tries to work out at what point along the road she became so resentful, so starts to retrace her past. Also aiming for a relatively happier ending this time round.

      Hopefully I can keep up the standard this time. Genuinely was expecting a 3/5 for this.

      ReplyDelete
    19. Also she never actually got to perform on stage, per se. She was always backstage when she performed with Cassandra, doing the effects.

      Her first show just for herself, was the one interrupted by the...ending. (Spoiler evasion.)

      ReplyDelete
    20. Thank you for giving Trixie sucha great backstory. I'll be eagerly anticipating that sequel!

      ReplyDelete
    21. Thanks. I've finished planning out Trashed and Scattered, the sequel. Been an issue finding time between moving house and all. These netbooks sure are handy in situations like that.

      I'm aiming to have finished writing it mid-next week. And hopefully it'll get approved by the end of said week too. It's going to involve alot more OC pony though.

      ReplyDelete
    22. @CoffeeGrunt
      So it is a AX7 ref? NICE! I am totally going to reread this listening to "I Won't See You Tonight (Part 1)" and "I Won't See You Tonight (Part 2)"[my favorite ax7 song] on repeat! And also "Trashed and Scattered" is another ax7 ref right? Dear God, I bet it's going to be amazing! Ponies are "A Little Piece of Heaven" for me on earth and idk why.

      ReplyDelete
    23. Thanks for all the critical acclaim, sadly I have decided to turn the other way in terms of releases. Considering the darkness surrounding my character for Trixie....enough seeding titles into sentences, I can't work with the rest.

      Sethisto is hopefully going to update this soon with a new, (relevant), image I had comissioned, and the first chapter of Trashed and Scattered. "You rock, woohoo."

      Trashed and Scattered will be episodic as opposed to me lumping out a fanfic this size every blue moon.

      ReplyDelete
    24. This comment has been removed by the author.

      ReplyDelete
    25. NO!
      Depressing Trixie fanfic is just not allowed!

      ReplyDelete
    26. Oh god it was even sadder than the first chapter. How is that possible?

      ReplyDelete
    27. Oh, God. Another story.

      I don't wanna read it. But...

      I must! I MUSSSSSSTTTT!

      ReplyDelete
    28. Oh hey! My drawing is attached to it now. Nifty!

      ReplyDelete
    29. It turned out better than expected. :)

      ReplyDelete
    30. Trixie best Ixie! After the second chapter I'd rate the story at 4,5, but since it's impossible, there goes 5 stars:)
      I must point out that the prison scenes strike me as very non-pony. Well, do did Cassandras death. It just doesn't fit too well into the setting we know from the series. But in the end - I guess it would be quite hard to write a sad/dark fic in a world where everyone is happy and everything ends well.

      ReplyDelete
    31. Wow, suddenly I realized that now I am not only just reading fics now and then, but also actually following a few. Man, that stuff is addictive:D

      ReplyDelete
    32. do Beast and the Harlot next

      ReplyDelete
    33. It was sadder? Damn, I was trying to lighten the mood. Definitely shouldn't help Pinkie throw any parties.

      @Eddie

      How could I not? Honestly, you nailed it first time. I'm still trying to source a printing shop for the damned poster. XD

      @Stephen

      Shipping? Yes...there might be shipping. There will also be a happy ending, but a sombre one. And Trixie hooks up with the pony you least expect.

      Also I'm aiming to make 402 a bit of a bigger character in follow-ups. Let's just say she's smarter than she looks.

      @Lindil

      That's the pity. I tried to keep it as true to the show as I could, but I wanted to have an undercurrent, like there's stuff you don't see in the show.

      ReplyDelete
    34. @CoffeeGrunt Character you least expect?

      Would that be Trixie x 402?

      ReplyDelete
    35. Congratulations, Coffee.
      You made me feel bad for Trixie.
      And cry.
      A lot.

      ReplyDelete
    36. @Da Herp

      Oh hell no. I'd have to be a much better writer than I currently am to get Trixie to fall for her sister's killer. Love-hate or no.

      @Anon

      What I am aimed for.

      Chapter 3, Unbound, is in progress. Aiming for it to be up by the end of next week.

      ReplyDelete
    37. Trashed and Scattered sont make feel so bad as "i wont see you tonight" did, but it's really good.

      Waiting to see Trixie in appaloosa \o/

      ReplyDelete
    38. By ending it happily I hope you mean shes going to get with Twilight and be happy together, because thats what she needs, someone with her who loves her for who she is and helps her move on from her past.

      ReplyDelete
    39. @Valmir

      There's a ship, but it's not Twixie. There's another pony I feel is much more suiting to the character.

      @Stephen

      Sadly this chapter is a "Bridging the gap" type thing. It needed to get Trixie to move towards the next one, which is gunna take me a week of straight writing at this rate.

      The alicorn bands have a built-in failsafe. For a pony trapped in a room with nothing but four walls and their memories, it'd be tantamount to torture. But it knocks the user unconscious the moment they escape the perimeter.

      ReplyDelete
    40. They're rare and only given to certain criminals, (I didn't want to go in at length explaining it at that time, but the band is actually cast by Celestia herself as punishment, as she supposedly knows the pain extende life causes.)

      Bear in mind it doesn't keep you young, and if you contract a deadly disease, you simply exist through it.

      ReplyDelete
    41. Haha! Is the Last story going to be "The Wicked End", "And All Things Will End", or "Dear God"? LOL. You seem to like Avenged Sevenfold just a tiny bit. Great stories, brah!

      ReplyDelete
    42. Great fic.

      You made me sad with The story of Matrix ;_;, Thanks

      want read the next one

      ReplyDelete
    43. Why does everyone have Pinkie istantly deduce another ponies personality?

      She actually BAD at reading ponies. She didn't notice anything off about AJ when the latter was ready to keel over from overworking herself, she kept bugging Twilight when her advice was clearly wrong, and she jumped to conclusions when her best friends were preparing a surprise party.

      Heck, she didn't realise Gilda was bad until the griffin PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED HER. And remember Appaloosa? That could have been avoided had Pinkie not ignored how little the buffalo liked her song.

      In short, Pinkie isn't the one you go to when you want to know how somepony is. She's BAD at that.

      ReplyDelete
    44. @Stephen Cawking

      And this time it worked out in her favor. I really have the view that Pinkie intentionally assumes the best of ponies she doesn't know.

      It works nicely when you figure her having abandonment issues. She just really, really wants to be liked.

      ReplyDelete
    45. @Stephen Cawking

      Hmm. Not only in that story. But come on, that makes sense. We know from the episode she left her stuff behind. Rarity is the pony to take care of her hat and cape. Pinkie is the pony to want to help out a new pony without questioning. Its just common sense, especially in Rarity's case.

      Anyway Coffee, you know my opinion and I'm glad its shared with most other bronies it seems. You may want to ask Seth to add a Complete tag though ^^ Unless you have follow up stories or something that you don't want a separate thread for.

      ReplyDelete
    46. In honesty it was the first chapter I had genuine fun writing. The first one was enjoyable in an odd way because it was my first fic.

      Ultimately The outfit meant alot to her, and when it's salvaged, who else but Ponyville's resident fashionista is going to want to keep a cloak and an old hat?

      Dash isn't the most "getalongingest" pony. It felt more natural for her to have attrition and overcome it for Pinkie's sake, than just accept her straight off.

      Considering the several hundred balls I had to juggle considering loose ends, inter-character interaction, plotholes, dialogue, events and the like, I'm fairly chuffed.

      Remember, I put this up expecting 3 stars. ;)

      ReplyDelete
    47. *Photo finish voice*
      Vat...Just happened?

      ReplyDelete
    48. In all honesty, I think the fourth story just took things out of context. You really had something great up until that point. I think you might have rushed getting it out. Maybe you should come back to it and work out the ending a bit. Even though I am critiquing this, don't stop writing. You really do have a knack for it. ;P

      ReplyDelete
    49. Yeh to be honest, I just wanted to get it wrapped up in a happy way.

      I haven't stopped writing, my new fic series "Of Gods and Demons" just received it's third chapter, and many more are planned.

      ReplyDelete
    50. This was just...beautiful and probably the best example of Trinkie Pie!

      ReplyDelete