So much Luna every night!
Author: Benman
Description: A year after her return to Equestria, Luna is feeling useless and isolated. What will it take for her to feel appreciated?The Evening Gown
Additional Tags: Short, Sad Luna, Siblings, Comfort, Generosity
25 comments:
@ Seth
ReplyDelete"So much Luna tonight!
So much Luna every night!"
We're making up for that of which we didn't recieve from the show!
Y'know, Rarity and Luna being kindred souls makes just as much sense as Twilight and Luna.
ReplyDeleteI loved the concept of it, and one pony being enough just made me tear up inside.
ReplyDeleteSeemed like it was haphazardly thrown together in some bits. and the abacus cameo completely detracted from the overall experience since it was just thrown in there it seemed.
4/5
need more luna still
ReplyDelete“You said it yourself! Y-you said I just wasn’t t-trying hard enough.” Luna was crying in earnest now, speaking half-intelligibly through gasps and sobs. “You said I didn’t c-care enough about making this work, or I’d do b-better.”
ReplyDeleteI'm already about to cry. For the longest time I thought this about myself. Didn't realize I actually had something else wrong with me - that I was wounded and wondering why I didn't do as well as a healthy person.
Oh, Luna :(
I feel this story begs for more, if that is something one can understand.
ReplyDeleteThe story is a solid beginning, but I feel that it is just that... a beginning. That there is more that could be written, enjoyed. That the events begun could be lead out further and continued.
Basically, I want more... and not just because its good, but because the story just feels like it could continue. That there is more of the tale to be told.
Hmm. Yes, its decent enough. Certainly enjoyable. I agree with some of the above statements though. The abacus seemed to be there just for the sake of including the abacus. Still, I don't really think its a problem. I rather like it, and I don't mind authors trying to make it main stream fanon (it probably already is to be honest).
ReplyDeleteLike Pen Stroke though, I feel this is to open. You probably meant it as a one shot story, but it really feels more like the first chapter of a longer fic.
Ya know I do like me some epic adventures but these kinda stories.... I am SUCH A sucker for em good work dude.
ReplyDelete@Pen Stroke
ReplyDelete^
Abacus is pretty much canon at this point, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteAbacus is very strong fanon, at least. I like this story a lot and would like to see an account of the ball, too.
ReplyDeleteDude you gotta continue this!
ReplyDeleteThis did not go as I expected, which was great!! A nice tale, I, like the others, think this could possibly be expanded successfully, but coming from me who has never written any sort of decent fic, I would be the last to know :) I really liked it, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteMOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR
ReplyDeleteI felt this was a strong story, and I believe it would be a waste of potential not to continue it.
ReplyDeleteIt's nearly perfect, except one thing.
ReplyDeleteCelestia's characterization, everyone knows that she isn't shallow and "One pony, it... is certainly a start" says otherwise. Through the episodes we've seen celestia as light-hearted, powerful being that ponies just think too much of, but in this story I couldn't help but see celestia as a being that takes her job very seriously and requires attention (example being the quote from before). Whenever you base something of a canon and add little twist to it, don't forget not to accidently impair the facts.
I think the "One pony it...is a start" thing was less Celestia being shallow and more her making a false assumption on Luna's wants.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad so many of you like my story! I appreciate everypony who takes the time to leave a rating or comment, and that goes double for those of you who tell me which parts you like or dislike.
ReplyDeleteI'm flattered that so many people want me to continue this story, but I don't think I could write a very good sequel to this. I feel like the core conflict has been settled. I don't know what else could happen that's as meaningful as the arc I finished. I have other stories I want to tell in Equestria, and I plan to move on to those now.
I remember the original draft of this story, and I must say, the extra work you put into it made a huge difference. Good work. I'm inclined to think that the Abacus cameo was sort of weirdly placed, but otherwise, you gave Rarity a good reason to be there and one I wasn't expecting. Nice job and wonderful improvement.
ReplyDelete>(Luna)“It’s so lonely. I get up there, and I wait and I wait, and nopony shows up. Not to visit, not to pay homage like they do with you, not even to get some boring old dispute settled. It’s just me, alone, knowing that nopony wants to see me. It’s too much, sometimes. I just can’t face it.”
ReplyDelete>(Celestia's response)“Why not? I understand that it’s difficult, Luna, I really do. But you know how important it is to face those feelings and do it anyway. Why can’t you?”
*blink-blink* ...hummmm... ooookkk... Celestia DOES remember what happened last time, right ?
I'm no 'expert' in psychology, but... Placing the person/pony in the exact same situation that provoked the initial ''mental-breakdown'', while providing NO kind of support... is quite inconsiderate on Celestia's part.
It's not like last time that Luna was... all alone, lonely, sad, depressed to have no one visiting her and appreciating her night... that she became all crazy and became Nightmare Moon, right.... ooooohhhh wait, oops.
In a few words : This was FAR from being Celestia's finest moment there...
@nova25, i think its fine. she isn't being placed in the same situation. you must be mixing up canon with fanon. Canon only states that Luna resented no pony liking the moon. it has nothing to do with what Luna's situation is, just that ponys didn't like the night. Especially with this tale Rarity really shows kindness, and through one pony almost guarantees no second coming of nightmare moon
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteFor one, I was speaking of the ''Initial'' context... the one we can see between the lines, on which the moment leans on, by that I mean : She's sad now, meaning that ''yesterday'' she was too, and etc, since she basicly says that.
Also... >mixing up canon with fanon
-Yeah, right... I will just go listen to the Intro. of the first episode, hmm?
>Canon only states that Luna resented no pony liking the moon.
-You haven't saw the 1st Episode's Intro. in a long time haven't you ?
>it has nothing to do with what Luna's situation is
-Sad and lonely because she feels that ponies don't like/appreciate her nights/moon/stars/NIGHT!(nights involve many thing in the sky you know)... yeah, right... 2 different thing ?
>just that ponys didn't like the night.
-...like a broken record. Again ->1st's Intro... + Night = Moon, stars, blabla...
These stories never seem completed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, I will bookmark and be back again
ReplyDeleteEvening Dress
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