Author: Ryak
Description: Twilight discovers a strange and mysterious book with unknown capabilities. Can Twilight and her friends use it to uncover the true history of the Elements of Harmony and Equestria's past?The Elements of History Chapter 1
The Elements of History Chapter 2
The Elements of History Chapter 3
The Elements of History Chapter 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: History, long, Equestria, Elements of Harmony, book
26 comments:
Grimdark and Normal? wut.
ReplyDelete"She tossed the astrology book distastefully aside..."
ReplyDelete"...it pained her to see a book mistreated as such. She sighed in disapproval at the former owners..."
Oh, I'm sorry, but that just made me lol. Was that bit on purpose? XDD (Haven't finished the chapter, though)
What a twist!
ReplyDeleteI think you meant "consciousness" in that last sentence.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how a story can be both normal and grimdark. And this isn't the first time I've seen something labeled this.
ReplyDeleteA ne? Like the knights who say ni, only ne?
ReplyDeleteJK, I know it's probs necromancer.
Good, solid beginning. I'm looking forward to more :D
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Awaiting further chapters for now.
ReplyDeleteIs this ever going to update?
ReplyDeleteI definitely want to be defiant in reading this be with the definite spelling errors defiantly staring me in the face, I definitely won't be able to be defiant much longer.
ReplyDeleteGet it?
GET IT? Good, thank you.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing that out for me! I currently don't have anyone to proof read my work, so I have to do it myself. Also, this is my first take on a fanfiction, so any tips from anyone would be great.
Long chapter is long but that's a good thing. It has renewed my interest in this story.
ReplyDeleteNot only is this damn good, the chapters are some of the longest I've encountered, making for a good source when you have a long reading session planned (minimal page loads).
ReplyDeleteIf these chapter take up less than 50KB as plain text, I'd be quite surprised.
I saw the word ''gentile'' a couple of time in Part 2... I think you meant ''gentle''.
ReplyDeleteGentile : http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gentile%5B2%5D
(surely not the word you wanted)
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteAlso :
>Twilight might have a slight concession from the wound
-''concussion'', I think ?
...I must say I appreciate how the author actively 'justify' the emotional reaction of the character, instead of leaving them hanging like some authors do.
(like when Twilight feels guilty for RD staying those 3days and Rarity reassure her that it was because RD WANTED to stay, so it's not her fault.)
@Nova25
ReplyDeleteThank you for pointing those out for me, I really appreciate everyone's feedback along with any spelling corrections. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, or at least that part!
MLP fanfic cliche #24, make up a story about the elements of harmony because you can't except that it was a deus ex machina
ReplyDeleteI'm only on the first chapter. I've giggled a few times (in a good way) at some of the moments of characterization, like pinkie pie 'somehow getting even closer'. The pacing feels really good, too.
ReplyDeleteI noticed one part where a sentence felt out of place in a paragraph (the part where you say that Twilight enjoys the night because it's peaceful; that sentence just feels out of place). If I were to be pickier, I'd point out instances of unnecessary characterization, such as saying near the beginning that Twilight spends a lot of time reading... we already know that from watching the show. Also, you've employed some strange usages, like capitalizing "Ah" just because it's standing in for "I"; also, there was a place where you suddenly changed from third-person to first-person in the middle of a paragraph to show Twilight's thoughts, but you didn't use quotation marks.
Overall, though, those things haven't detracted too much from the readability.
This is a very good story, far less cliche than most of the other ones I've read. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteCliffhangers, why you hurt me so?!!!!
ReplyDeleteI NEED more of this...
That's all I can say.
HOLY FUCK ITS BACK!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I've been waiting for this
So, Twilight was being harassed by a caption... Was it hanging around under her telling people she wanted a cheezburger?
ReplyDeleteRemember that spellchecks aren't perfect. ;)
I'm really glad nopony got raped. I was started to get worried that the author might actually go there...
ReplyDelete@Anonymous*Facepalm* How could I manage to mess that up? Thanks for pointing that out for me. I don't have anyone to proofread my stories so I have to do it myself.
ReplyDeleteI OBJECT TO THE GENERAL ASSUMPTION THAT ALL MALE PEGASI IN POSITIONS OF POWER ARE…like…that…
ReplyDelete…um…
Gimme a second, I'll think of something.…
Reeealy like it so far. Was worried things were going to get a bit rapey, but things worked out just fine.
ReplyDelete