• Story: Celestia's Teeth

    [Comedy][Normal] Post this or I'll put my hands over my ears and scream about Trixie being a fictional character in a show for little girls until you do-Pre Reader #12


    How...Violent.  I think the pre-readers think I have an actual crush on Trixie or something. 

    Author: Abalidoth
    Description: Celestia makes sure to surround herself with the most competent staff
    in all of Equestria, but when they go too far in her service, she takes
    things into her own hooves.
    Celestia's Teeth

    Additional Tags: Trollestia, Bureaucracy, Food, Pranks, Character-Driven

    65 comments:

    1. Just keep telling yourself you don't have a crush on Trixie...

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    2. Seht having a crush on Trixie? As if. You silly ponies coming up with stuff like this.

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    3. i liked this story we need more celestia like this

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    4. Okay, that was a cute little story. Long live Celestia the prankster

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    5. Celestia is always awesome X3

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    6. XD great story
      Is tree tree oil actually good for bad breath?
      I knew it was good for treating acne but not breath

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    7. Easily the funniest fic I've seen in awhile. Excellent story, thanks for the laugh!

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    8. Very nice look at Celestia and the court, and quite funny, too.

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    9. A very realistic, true to the show and extremely funny look at Celestia and the ponies working in the palace. Trollestia at her best :)

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    10. I genuinely laughed out loud. Well, snickered, actually. Almost made me choke on Jello, which I didn't know was possible. So, five stars!

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    11. I love when Celestia is portrayed accurate to the show, a kind if slightly mischievous ruler as opposed to an untouchable and perfect goddess or a terrible tyrant, and this pretty much nailed it.

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    12. My shiny teeth that twinkle
      Just like the stars in space
      My shiny teeth that sparkle
      addin' beauty to my face!

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    13. Oh, I like that idea of Celestia's subject being afraid of losing her. There are downsides to a 100% adoration rating. Hiring a pony to brush Celestia's teeth? What's next, royal food chewers?

      Also, playful Trollestia is best Celestia.

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    14. Nice take on Celestia.

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    15. Silly Seth, Of COURSE you have a crush on Trixie. You effing rave about her every day.

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    16. This was great! A very fun read, and very well written to boot,

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    17. @Anonymous

      Is it bad that I understood that reference?

      This was a funny fic that made me guffaw, I think there needs to be a lot more Celestia fic like this one

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    18. That was.. surprisingly awesome! Lighthearted, genuinely funny without being either sappy or random. True to the spirit of the show in the best sense.

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    19. So say the price of hay goes down from 10 bits per bale to 5 bits per bale.

      Say the crown subsidy buys 20 bales of hay at a fixed price (say 15 bits per bale).

      Say the town produces 100 bales of hay on a normal year when the hay is worth 10 bits and receives extra revenue of 100 bits from the 20 bales the crown buys.

      On the bumper year the hay is 5 bits per bale and the town produces 200 bales. If the crown buys only 10 bales of hay at the 15 bit fixed price, the town receives extra revenue of 100 bits from the crown. Thus the crown buys less, but the town gets the same amount of extra money.And since 190 x 5 = 950 and 80 x 10 = 800 they're still making more money on the bumper year.

      I feel so ashamed I had to write that out just to figure that out…

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    20. Well everyone, we now know how to get Seth to do whatever we want, rant about Trixie being a fictional character in a little girls show.

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    21. @Anonymous Unfortunately I'm reminded of that Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America" when he enter the royal bathroom and the attendant yells out "WIPERS!"

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    22. @Krizak

      This, so very much this. I can quite imagine Celestia being very pampering-averse too. She is a goddess, not like she can't take care of herself. And I can also see people wanting to pamper her, because she is a goddess, leading to stories just like this.

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    23. This is absolutely hysterical. I am in awe at how you took something as simple as tooth-brushing and turned it into marvelous Trollestia fodder. I also love the relationship you've got between the two sisters. Minty Fresh is a great character. The jab at Spike at the end was priceless. Encore!

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    24. This writing style is absolutely smart and classy. The dialogue, pacing and character portrayals are superb. It's like bureaucracy is fun again!

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    25. @Chanticleer Before I actually comment on the story, I'd like to take the time to thank this kind brony for doing the math (that I didn't have to), and explaining basic economics to us.

      Stupid economics. Being hard to understand.

      Directed at the story: I loved this. As this fandom continues, the characters continue to get more and more flanderized into just one or two core aspects of their personality, and Celestia has suffered some of the worst of this. It was nice to read a fic that managed to keep her in-character, and give us some of the friendly joking that we'd expect from her.

      Bonus points go out for having the d'aawww worthy letter to Twilight at the end. That made me smile.

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    26. Why isn't this star-6 yet?

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    27. Haha that was great!

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    28. Loved every single part of it. Someone said that playful Trollestia is the best. The part where she's munching on an onion needs to be drawn, dangit!

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    29. I was just think to myself I wonder how a Celeatia-centric slice of life story would go, and here it is. Fairly flawless, too, although the humor was fairly subtle up until the onions came out. I think that was more than made up for by even Celestia having something to learn in the end.

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    30. This. This is the sort of light-hearted fun I've been missing. A lot. Between all the drama and sad fics (not to mention grimdark, which I personally don't read) this is the kind of stuff that balances it all out and lets me deal with the bazillionth time someone kills of Rainbow.

      On top of that, its well written. I dearly hope we will see more of this kind of stuff. Definitely from you, and if possible also from other writers. I enjoyed every second of it.

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    31. Celestia at her finest! I implore you to write another story!

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    32. I don't know why but that moment when Snowy finally cracked and laid it all bare to the Princess made me feel bad for Snowy ;^;

      This Celestia I like a lot though the story was odd when I first read the title "Celestia's Teeth? wth and why?" I am pleasantly surprised with this and so glad I gave it a second chance!

      And lol were you going to or were trying to reference Colgate as her sister? I thought that scene with Minty Fresh was pretty d'aww.

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    33. Thank you all so much for your kind words! I really enjoyed writing this story, and I'm glad you all enjoyed reading it.

      To answer a few questions: I'm planning on writing more Celestia-centric stories, for sure. She's an absolute blast to write for, and I've got quite a few story ideas planned out.

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    34. @bobbin the unicorn
      Tea tree oil is a powerful antimicrobial, which makes it good for both breath and acne (among other things.) Modern mouthwashes use eucalyptus and menthol as active ingredients, but I thought that Equestria would be more likely to have tea trees.

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    35. @Krizak
      That's pretty much the exact reason I started writing about Celestia. I felt that there were very few depictions of her that captured all the aspects of her that we see in the show, and even fewer still that used her as the main character. (The story Sunny Skies All Day is one of the ones I can think of that gets Celestia right, and that story was one of the inspirations for this one.)

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    36. @Chanticleer
      Thanks for working out the details on that! I'm a mathematician rather than an economist, so I figured that there was enough wiggle room in my math for that kind of outcome, but I didn't actually know how to figure it out.

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    37. @Scootawho
      Believe it or not, the letter was a last minute addition. Originally the story ended with Celestia in the bathroom, but I thought it needed something else, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.

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    38. @Anonymous
      Yes, Minty Fresh is Colgate's sister. Glad you caught that!

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    39. [comedy] > [sad]
      [normal] > [grimdark]

      This story is why.

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    40. Instant 5 stars, this turned out better than initially expected.

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    41. There was one inconsistent moment in the story where Celestia prides herself on not lying to her subjects, only to do so to the mayor of Bridlevale during the business lunch (easy fix, have her tell the truth). Otherwise--not a bad read. I could imagine Snowy Slopes showing up in an official episode.

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    42. @Anonymous
      Oops, haha. Thanks for catching that!

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    43. Very well done. I also second the "doesn't lie, but ends up doing so"

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    44. I loved this. I smiled and loled loudly the at alot of this. It was a nice little break from the semigrimdark i have kept reading . . and am writing myself. Thank you. It was fun read. Quite witty too *tail snaps*

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    45. I like how you were able to keep the shows Celestia better than many writers while still hammering out a good and very funny story.
      Light-hearted prankster who is still a good pony.

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    46. I can't believe I read this when you posted it and didn't leave a comment! I did 5 star it though. This is an awesome story, and I firmly believe it should be turned into an episode :D it deserves it!

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    47. I confess I lol'd when i read the name of snowy slopes mainly because there's a character in a Terry Pratchett novel with the same name but thankfully verrry different peoples.

      Awesome story please keep writing!

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    48. *Achievement Unlocked* Made me lol

      This was a great story, worth the 6-star rating in mine and a lot of ponies opinions.

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    49. I loved this! Definitely worth the read. :)

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    50. These little looks into the tiny intricacies of court politics always seem great to me, for some reason. Please write more of them.

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    51. This is an excellent piece of work. I love fictions that portray Celestia well, and this is one of the best. I look forward to more. 5 stars!

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    52. It's so worth it to dig up the 6-star archive to find such gems.
      This is definitely the Celestia I love the most, the benevolent ruler/prankster who's looking for ways to pass the time more than anything else.

      Short fic, but very well excetuted. (I also adored Luna, during the brief time she showed up) 5/5 stars, keep up the awesome :)

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    53. This is the best, purest example I've come across of why I love Canterlot court drama stories. It was simply brilliant, and I love this interpretation of Celestia and Luna.

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    54. Well, that was a rather re-''fresh''-ing(fresh... Minty Fresh ;) ) and enjoyable story. :)

      >"I'm a dentist, Your Highness. Sugarcoating is my mortal enemy."
      -A winning line, right there. :D

      WonderMinty VS Doctor Von Sugary !

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    55. This is awesome. I enjoyed it as much as any other kid with dental fears. Nova25 and I have the same favorite line.

      ---
      Sydney City

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    56. Celestia is a funny character that is worth watching out for! The Celestia's Teeth is just what the kids need before bedtime.

      hinsdale dentist

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    57. I agree with the last comment. Celestia is indeed a funny character. I heard my sister telling this story to her daughter and my niece loved it. She actually fell asleep afterwards.

      dental consulting

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    58. I was on a bus on my way to a dentist in la when I was reading this fic on my phone. Minty Fresh saying "Sugarcoating is my mortal enemy" is worth the snorting I did on the bus because I had to hold my laughter in.

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    59. "Since working with Dr. Jason Yamada I've produced an extra $80,000 worth of implant-related surgeries and restorations. We're in the process of doing 50 more or so. All this in 8 weeks of his mentoring."
      - Dr. Jon Tasaki, DDS

      www.drjcares.com

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