Author: HunBrony
Description: When Pinkie Pie thinks about a new kind of party, she seeks help from the most unexpected pony.The Blacksmith
Additional Tags: A hyperactive pink filly in armor
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[Normal][Random] Pinkie Pie in armor.. oh lawdy
Author: HunBrony
Additional Tags: A hyperactive pink filly in armor
Labels: Author: HunBrony, Complete, Fanfiction, Normal, OC Ponies, Pinkie Pie, Random, Star-4, StoryShare This!
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27 comments:
Unleash the chaos.
ReplyDeleteI so can't wait for the fanart of this.
ReplyDelete5 stars my good man...
Where do i put stars now anywhere?
never mind, i found it.
ReplyDeleteThat's seriously cute. A bit random, but that's Pinkie Pie.
ReplyDeleteThough I kind of thought you were going to work a CRPG joke in there somehow. "Pinkie Pie (L5 Bard) has joined your party." :)
I really enjoyed it! It's good to know that Pinkie Pie likes armors too! :D
ReplyDeleteOkay, first off, I wanna say this was good. I like-a this very muchly.
ReplyDeleteOne thing though. The plural of armor is still armor.
There was another thing, but in an attempt to confirm my thoughts, I learned something new. Huzzah!
I was of the opinion that Titanium was extremely heavy to match its extreme strength, but it's apparently 45% lighter than iron! Woo Learning!
Cute, but oh lawdy I thought it was going to be grimdark as hell before I read those tags. I took that image up top to heart.
ReplyDeleteBut now I am curious to see where it could go if this was grimdark...
I haven't read this yet.
ReplyDeleteAm I right in assuming Pinkie's idea of a new kind of party,
is in fact an adventuring party?
The dialogue seems really flat and stilted, like the idea though.
ReplyDeletePink Warrior Needs Editor Badly!
ReplyDeleteFun concept, needs a couple edit passes.
This needs a lot of editing. Lots of tense changes, especially mid-sentence, and as a somewhat more personal peeve there's some fact checking that needs to be done on how blacksmithing works and what kind of materials one would use.
ReplyDeleteOverall not a bad concept though, just needs some basic work.
Agree'd with above Anon. I love the concept - it's short and sweet. But it does need some editing.
ReplyDeleteWell, as a first try, I have to admit it's really good.
ReplyDeleteI love it! I love it I love it I love it! This made me feel bouncy!
ReplyDeleteThe sudden tense changes were a bit jarring, but a good story nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteBahaha! Icewind Dale voice... I can see it now.
ReplyDeletea little hard to read due to some redundancies and it didn't feel like it had any other real closure 3/5
ReplyDeletethe story started interestingly enough and one would think armor would come in handy for the girls considering the amount of times they find themselves confronting mythical monsters. but i felt the ending could have been handled more deftly.
ReplyDeletei also have to agree with the others. the writing could have been better and it's in despite need of an editor still, you shouldn't let this dissuade you from writing. the only way to get better is practice, practice, practice.
I got the impression reading it that it was written by someone whose first language is something other than English. I'm really surprised that they made it past spell and grammar check in Word. [They aren't always right either, but they're a good start.]
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a blacksmith, which is why I read this story. I was hoping for more characterization of Coalheart instead of just Pinkie-Randomness.
It was cute, though - so the whole purpose of her party was to fight with Spike?
To all readers, I am HunBrony, the author of this fanfic. I am Hungarian and this is my first attempt. Thank you for your ideas and help. I hope this way I can improve myself to be a better writer. That is all.
ReplyDeleteWARGH. You guys used my sisters art for fanfiction D: What is this i don't eveeeeeeeeeen.
ReplyDelete@Delta Pangaea
ReplyDeleteYep titanium is very light, it just has one little problem when it comes to doing forge work with it:
Melting point: 1940K
Ignition temperature: 1475K
Yes, it will catch fire long before you can work with it.
@Chakat Firepaw
ReplyDeletei actually looked this up because i remember hearing titanium was REALLY hard to mill (and that may yet be the case but...) but in terms of forging, you don't need to get it to it's melting point, you just need to get it white hot and hammer away.
[Link:]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_uO7PU8l8Y
oh, side note, the knife he forges looks... very rough... ya... "rough" anyways, personally i think the best part of the video is the demonstration of the knifes strength
ReplyDeleteNot bad as a story, but sorely in need of editing.
ReplyDeleteIf English is not the author's native language, I can forgive them for the its/it's mistake, but a native speaker should know better.
Could use a touch of editing but that in no way for me detracted from the story (This could be because I have experience in forging and smithing but anyway) Very lovely story and I can picture pinkie pie in armour chasing spike.
ReplyDeleteOn side note, that pic isa reference to Icewind Dale and Icewind Dale 2. One of the fighter voices "Male Fighter 5" or something (been a while), the first thing is says for voice preview is that. Made me giggle.
ReplyDelete