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Author: Xerorythic
Description: Spike goes missing, and the main cast sets out to find and save him, finally culminating in a full on fight scene.Spike is Missing
Additional Tags: Battle, Adventure, Explosions, Light Comedy, Fantasy
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10 comments:
Interesting read. The fight scene came out well, but the ending was a tad forced.
ReplyDeleteThat picture of spike...AHDOORAHBULL
ReplyDeleteThis author has some of the same problems that I've had. Some of the scenes are detailed and laid out very nicely, so they clearly had those scenes in mind right as they were writing it. However, some other scenes are needed, which are not obvious to a person when they start writing. Instead of working on creating those scenes, they've more-or-less glossed over them. The 'by a stroke of luck they were all at Sugarcube Corner' bit in particular, I feel could have been expanded into a very nice scene.
ReplyDeleted'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteGreat fight scene, reminds me of the way Dog and Pony Show should have ended.
ReplyDeleteI liked it, even if sketchy on parts.
ReplyDeleteWe could use more Spike-focused fics around here, so this was a good addition.
Odd, I was literally planning on writing a story called "Spike is Missing." Like, exactly that. Strange that this happened.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I'll have to come up with a more creative name if I ever write it.
Might want to add a "story" tag to this.
ReplyDeleteThe ending went a bit to Dragonball Z for my taste. More to the point, Twilight using her Full Power came off as a deus ex machina. It's something we know she has in her, yes, but being able to fully control it with virtually no consequences came off as a little too convenient.
ReplyDeleteThat and the idea of Twi going nuclear and vaporizing a bunch of bandits goes pretty hard against the grain. If you intend the story to be more gritty than the show, you kind of need to show that from early on. As written this could be an episode right up to that last scene, which makes the Dragon Slave ending really jarring.
@Anonymous Pretty much sums up what I was thinking. But not really that bad for a first fic at all - keep writing, and you'll only improve as time goes on.
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