Author: Sunshine Smiles
Description: A story about Scootaloo in the future, and her cutie mark.Spacegirl Chapter 1
Spacegirl Chapter 2
Spacegirl Chapter 3
Spacegirl Chapter 4
Spacegirl Chapter 5 (New!)
Spacegirl (All Links)
Additional Tags: Sad, Touching, Joyful, Relateable, Emotional
85 kommentaari:
Must make Scootaloo being Simon of Gurren Lagann ...something, art, something.. as soon as done with finals.
VastaKustutatwas good I DEMAND A SEQUEL
VastaKustutaPLEASE keep writing, this is an amazing start, and it is begging to be told!!!
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI am planning on writing all 3 chapters
WELCOME BACK, SPACE GIRL!
VastaKustuta(wipes away a tear)
That was excellent
VastaKustutaA bit too melodramatic. I mean, I can get Scoots being a bit on the sad/nostalgic side, but this seems like too much that she'd just burst into tears at the sight of a new cutie mark or the passing by of her old friend on the street. There's simply no way she'd be able to function in society if that was the case.
VastaKustutaAlso, the text needs more scene dividers so that we know what's going on. Not to mention some more descriptions. For instance, at the start of the text it's said that Scootaloo is an architect living in Manehatten, but soon after it's said that she's in Ponyville (how did she get there? Why did she go there?), and soon after that it's implied she's living in Fluttershy's house (by the seashore, no less!). So which is it, story? Explain!
@Cody MacArthur Fett
VastaKustutano guy, it said she was a city planner FOR manehatten
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaThat wasn't made clear in the text though. Which in turn makes it a strike against it, because stories need to be easy to read. It needs to be made clear in the text if that is the case, in other words, as do several other things.
Can't wait for the next part! :3
VastaKustutaNot to mention that I'm pretty sure Ponyville is landlocked. The whole town, nevermind Fluttershy's house, is nowhere near a coastal area.
VastaKustutaAside from that, this chapter's a bit long just to establish that, "Hey, Scootaloo's life sucks!" without anything to hit at a larger plot.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaThats all fanon thoughs, it NEVER says anywhere that there is no water nearby!
go scootaloo! u can do it!
VastaKustutaI can't wait to read more, though watch the location changes, very confusing sometimes.
VastaKustutaI like it a lot! I can't wait for the next chapters!
VastaKustuta@PonyCraft Blog
VastaKustutaThis is good, but so very sad! The image of friendships dying around the incapacitated scootaloo is so horrible...
they will be contining it, ponycraft also has recruited an epic team of community volunteers to help proofread/give suggestions to(a team im proud to be a part of!) so let me tell you, amazing things from this fanfic!
VastaKustutaThis is sad :(
VastaKustutaThat was a cute and interesting fic, especially seeing Scootaloo being nostalgic and not as energetic as she was when she was younger. I'm curious to see where this story goes and hope to see part two soon. :)
VastaKustutai want more. so sad yet good. poor Scoots. finds out not only can she never fly, she can't scoot around anymore. i feel sad. then the fish thing....
VastaKustutaThis is a great lovely story, i will be waiting for chapter 3 :)
VastaKustutaConfound this fic, it drives me to tears.
VastaKustutaRocket mare, burning out her fuse out there alone.
VastaKustutaThis is a great fic!
VastaKustuta@Ricky
VastaKustutaThanks
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaYour gonna carry that weight...
I'm not crying, I swear... I just got some manliness in my eye is all...
VastaKustutaI love the feel of this fic... it isn't perfectly written, and the structure is a bit off.. but in a BIG way that is part of why I like it. I feel as though it could have been written by Scoot herself, after having gone through all of this... as though it is written with her voice, young and scared and imperfect. It is truly wonderful. Please keep going!
VastaKustutaI like the new chapter! It's like a new beginning... I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
VastaKustutaThis is not normal. It´s sad.
VastaKustutaI agree that this is sad, also chapter 2 had a very strong ending. Keep up the good work!
VastaKustutaNow I want to go play BARIS. Keep this up please!
VastaKustutaWow, this is really sad so far!
VastaKustutaPlease continue your great story, Sunshine Smiles!
I love this ;_;
VastaKustutaPlease write more!
VastaKustutaSo sad, but I love it.
VastaKustutaScoot for the Moon!
This is just brilliant!! Please oh please continue!
VastaKustutaWait, back up to the part where Twilight went to Canterot for a few days and disappeared! What was that about?! You can't drop that and not explain!
VastaKustutaSo, did anyone know when will be next chapter. I really like this story and want to know how it will end.
VastaKustutaWhere are dem updates...
VastaKustutaAnd I was just hoping to find this story earlier today.
VastaKustutaSorry for being a bit late, I'm a busy pony!
VastaKustutaSo is the mane cast dead in this fic? It's weird how none of them appear, only referenced to.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaJust wait!
Go Scootaloo! Follow your dreams!
VastaKustutaLooks like things are looking up for Scootaloo. I hope you are not setting us up for more nasty stuff to happen to her. Enjoyed this chapter ^^
VastaKustutaThis deserves a rank akin to the number of stars in the sky.
VastaKustutaMOOOOOAR
VastaKustutaLUV DIS FIC. Is it only 3 chapters, or will it keep going? <33
VastaKustutaOH GOD I'M CRYING SO HARD!
VastaKustutaWhy doesn't this have the Sad tag?!
@AnonymousBecause it's a mix of happy and sad.
VastaKustutaSo good
VastaKustutaI lack words capable of describing what I'm feeling right now.
VastaKustutaI just got shipped with Scootaloo. How is somepony supposed to react to something like that? I'm flattered to be included in someone's story in pony form, but...
Thanks?
This is as sad as bubbles :(
VastaKustuta@Winston
VastaKustutaMy bets are on you breaking her heart as soon as you find out she's a crippled pegasus and not the pretty earth pony you were hoping for.
Any takers?
Wow, that was amazing... Update please? :)
VastaKustuta@Frubban
VastaKustutaI agree, Scootamazing!
Soooo...is this story dead? I really hope this story isn't dead.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaQuite agree with Anon here. I really hope this story is not over.
I really like the idea of having the CMC grown up, plus there is not enough Scootaloo love. Please continue!
VastaKustutaGosh darnit, what happened to this story? I was so excited to be able to see rocket Scootaloo
VastaKustutaMore please!
VastaKustutathis is NOT dead. I can testify to this. (Seeing as I am looking at the fourth part)
VastaKustutaConfond these ponies they drive me to manly tears...Of MANLIENESS!
VastaKustutaConfond these ponies they drive me to manly tears...Of MANLIENESS!
VastaKustutaWell thank god its not dead. I've been waiting to see the end of this for over a month.
VastaKustutaq.q Hope you're right on part four still being in the works Anonpony!
VastaKustutaMmkay, quote from Sunshine Smiles dated August 12th
VastaKustuta"I know, that latest chapter was a bit rushed, and chapter 4 is somewhat done making it more emotional"
http://www.fimfiction.com/story/200/rainbow_dash
PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!!!!
VastaKustutaWinston's gonna be taken aback at first but realize that he loves her. Or pinkie pie bakes him into a cupcake. Whoever wrote that story needs to be shot for being a sick bastard
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaSurprise, it updated!!! :D
VastaKustutaI thought it was abandoned!
VastaKustutaOh man, how old is this one? First Silly Species Swapping, now this?
VastaKustutaSuffice it to say, will get a full reread. I remember really liking this one.
DUDE! So happy to see this one back! I'll have to re-read it, it's been a while, but that is SO AWESOME!
VastaKustuta"Scoot for the stars!"
VastaKustutaOh my goodness this quote is PERFECT.
Sorry about such a long wait guys!
VastaKustuta....ok? Kind of an odd tangent the fic seems to be taking.
VastaKustutaUm....seriously? Killing all suspension of disbelief here. Apple Jack is, at most MAYBE about 12 years older than Apple Bloom, and that's stretching it. Even if you discount Granny Smith's obviously large age (founding of Ponyville and all that) to describe AJ as so old is utterly ridiculous.
VastaKustutaThat's just one problem. I could go on, but won't.
This fic is really sad... definitely needs some major sad tags. It's triggering my chronic depression.
VastaKustuta@Melodia Yes, both my eyebrows rose considerably at the serious age discrepancy. Granny Smith, from what we can tell from the given canon, is nearly 100 years old. And Lauren Faust has given the ages of the Mane 6 as being somewhere between 16 and 20. Assuming Scootaloo is the youngest CMC and AJ is the oldest of the Mane 6, about 12 years is the largest allowable age difference. Even if AJ had some chronic wasting disease (not stated, would help tremendously if it's the case), all other time indicators in the story mean she couldn't possibly be older than her early 50's at this point.
VastaKustutaI want to love this. It's Spacegirl! The story itself coming back from the grave is fantastic! A true triumph, and I am glad that it is back.
VastaKustutaAnd yet...
The last chapter... just, why? Leaving aside the fact that if Scoots is in her mid-late 20s as the story seems to imply, AJ shouldn't even be older than 40, what purpose did killing her off even serve? I don't like asking questions like this, because the author usually has a plan and I'm made to look foolish, but why?
It just seems to add cheap drama in a story that already has more than enough justification for a Sad tag as it was. It just makes me so frustrated to see it pop up like this.
Weird... I could swear I read the first 3 parts, and my bookmark is at #4... yet, no comment by me ?
VastaKustuta*shrug* All I remember is that it was an ‘ok’/interesting story... and it has been a LONG time. Let’s see now.
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CH.4 :
>The male watched >The male put his larger hooves >She was infatuated with the male
>standing up with the female >He took queue and led the female to the door >took two spoons, passing one to the female.
-...ok, a bit bland with so MANY uses of the same generic-sex term...
Here’s some perfectly acceptable and correct terms used for male and female ponies, as seen in pretty much every single stories made :
Adult male in general : Stallion.
Adult female : Mare.
Adolescent / Young *adult* male : Colt.
Baby/pretty young female / Adolescent : Filly.
Baby ponies in general / Pretty young male : Foal.
...And, I don’t think it would be a bad idea to use ‘her/him/she/he/and their names’ a bit more often, as a substitute for male/female.
>assuring herself her would soon arrive.
-‘’he’’ (small error)
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From what I remember of 1-to-3, and what I just read from 4 (and later, 5)...
A relatively original idea, the ‘writing’ itself was a bit mild/generic, but not that bad... (later : the ''writing'' does seem to get better at CH.5).
At some point, it started sounding like a familiar idea I heard somewhere before ?
...‘‘Female/Male character with dream to go to space.. goes to space, but something happens... Male/Female lover think the other is maybe dead, but she/he miraculously survives, and there’s an emotional reunion’’...
A movie, maybe ?
CH.5 :
VastaKustuta>Applejack’s hair was beginning to grey out some, the once strong and robust mare’s health degraded with her age, and she had fallen sickly the last few years.
-Huhhh... the author DOES know that AJ is like, at MAX., about 10years older than Applebloom... not 30-40years...
>“Well, the stress of what happened to you got to Applejack
-Again... AJ isn’t 30years older than Applebloom ! If AJ is, say, 80Years old, Applebloom would be 70-75...
So, no. AJ can’t be as old as it seems to be ‘’implied’’ here, without Applebloom ALSO being old/very old...
>Applejack as her condition started to decline a small amount. The wheezing and small groaning had resumed, and she had begun vomiting after eating as well.
-Oh for crying out loud ! It’s annoying how MUCH the age difference is wrong in this story... and now we will get a dumb death by ‘old age injury’... with a pony BARELY 5-10Years older than the CMC !
>The orange pony’s bedding was wet with the secrete from Apple Bloom’s eyes and nose
-...charming... Couldn’t use dictionary to find more proper words here ? I don’t know... TEARS! And really, what’s up with the ‘booger’ thing ?
>“I-its not your fault.” She coughed, slinking into a long, awkward coughing fit.
-Yeah, she’s right... It’s all the fault of that *weird* time-relativity anomaly that made her 30-40 years older than her little sister...
Seriously... Applebloom go to ‘Primary School’ in the series, she about around 10 years old... AJ, as stated by Laurent Faust, is a ‘young adult’, thus about 20 Years old...
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Better written than CH.4, that’s for sure, but... and here this is only my opinion (plus basic mathematic...)... the idea, to seemingly make AJ a LOT older than she should reasonably be considering the small age-difference with her sister Applebloom, was a bit of a crappy one.
It’s like... since the ‘original’ members of the apple family (AJ, Applebloom, Big Mac) apparently didn’t have parents (in the series, so far), that the author decided to have AJ die... as a substitute for a tragic mother’s death cliché...
I don’t know... it just look cheap.
Am I the only one reading this in 2013? O_o
VastaKustuta