Author: Somber
Description: A thousand years ago Princess Celestia sealed away Nightmare Moon using the Elements of Harmony. Now the Cutie Mark Crusaders will awaken a threat imprisoned for all that time, and all of Equestria will learn which is greater: The Elements of Harmony or the Elements of Discord.Perils of the Past
Perils of the Past Part 2
Perils of the Past Part 3
Perils of the Past Part 4
Perils of the Past Part 5
Perils of the Past Part 6
Perils of the Past Part 7
Perils of the Past Part 8
Perils of the Past Part 9
Perils of the Past Part 10 (New!)
Additional Tags: Dramatic, Long
93 comments:
It's Apple Bloom, not Apple Blossom.
ReplyDeleteIs Apple Blossom a cross-over of FiM and PPG?
ReplyDeletePINKIE Pie not PINKY pie
ReplyDeleteGood story so far, but SO MUCH GRAMMAR NAZI SENSE.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the corrections. My apologies for not catching them sooner.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteApple BLOSSOM is Apple Bloom's older name... when older, you know. It is used in quite a few stories around here.
@Anonymous
I, myself, write and say PINKY Pie... Thank you.
Sheesh, so many complains for nothing.
Well if I'm going to put people through 14 pages of my prose then the least I can do is get their names right. My grammar is bad enough.
ReplyDeleteThe main plot with the flaming pony is kind of interesting, the descriptions of the ruined city were great, but the scene with the CMCs finding Pinkie Pie was incredibly uninteresting. It really broke the flow of the story for me. Also, this needs a good beta reading.
ReplyDelete@Present Perfect
ReplyDeleteMy normal beta reader said he'd rather chew glass than read a MLP:FIM fanfic. Suggestions on where I could find some more open minded beta readers?
This story needs more attention than it's getting IMO. I feel as though the other Nightmares could use a little more explanation though I think it will be explained later on if I'm not mistaken.
ReplyDeleteHmmm Nightmare Screamer.... Hello there Star-scream ^_^
ReplyDeleteI really like where this tale is going and how its developing. Fluttershy facing down the Burning doom was excellent, Kindness and bravery prevailing.
Quite underrated indeed - I really enjoyed reading through this story. It's got a very nice serious feel to it without being grimdark, and the characterisations feel spot-on - I had a very easy time empathising with what was on each pony's mind along the way.
ReplyDeleteVery much looking forward to future chapters!
[SPOILERS]
ReplyDeleteOh my. I absolutely LOVE the 4th chapter. The 3rd was already very good, but.. Holy cow. Already in the first chapter you feel there is just something about Nightmare Fury that is off. And then in chapter 2 you more or less forget about it. Chapter 3 brings mixed feelings. On the one hand you are rooting for Fluttershy and you dislike Fury, but... She listens. And you do feel kind of grateful.
And then chapter 4. I love the internal struggle you bring for her. She talks to them, shelters them, even saves their lives... All the while not only knowing but even admitting she will destroy their home later. Heck, might even destroy them.
Still, you feel there is hope. You feel sorry for her. And then, way at the end, there is a turnaround again. It seems the fillies are forgotten. I hope you can keep this up for the next chapter... This level of quality.
Also, I absolutely love the reason you have given Fury. Its brilliant, and it gives so many great opportunities for later in the story. I don't know where you will take it, of course, but... I'm very hopeful its going to be good.
This story really needs more attention. I'll be anxiously awaiting the next chapter.
@Baree Agreed 100%! I'm loving this story, even though I'm tuckered out now from reading fanfiction all night. But I do love it, even if I kept getting Whispers and Screamer mixed up.
ReplyDeleteEep! Well I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope I can keep it up. I'm trying to get them written by friday of every week. But that you very much for the feedback. I didn't want Fury to be a card carrying monster. She knows its wrong but believes it's the only thing she can do. Next up, Roasted Apples.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGood up date really portray's Fury as a pony with a mind not just a heartless monster.
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting. Epic without being excessive grimdark(well epid need a little of it), plus I kinda like how awesome Fluttershy come out, and some hint about some parental relation between her and Radiant. I hope this fanfiction will develop and not getting wating for too long
ReplyDeleteWowwww, the newest chapter. The way the action is written in this is amazing - fast-paced and really tense. The only thing that struck me is that the use of exclamation points sometimes broke the narrative (but that's probably just me being picky, haha).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, great story. I love how the characters are developing.
Should this be a 5-star story now instead of 4?
ReplyDeleteIf you ask me this should be a 6 star story.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, another great chapter. Indeed, it looks like you are taking the story into the direction I was expecting.
At the moment I am looking out for new chapters of Fallout: Equestria, Its Dangerous Business Going Out Your Door, The Ballad Of Twilight Sparkle and this one. I don't know how many chapters you have planned for this, but I kinda hope its a lot. Keep writing, I'll definitely keep reading.
I'm... not good at short. Practicing tho. Next chapter will be exposition... ugh, I know, but this is as far as I can get without more background.
ReplyDeleteGreat story. And if my experience as a TV Troper haven't failed and I'm guessing right on where this story is going, it will only get more and more awesome.
ReplyDeleteGuessing SPOILER:
The real Big Bad is whoevver corrupted Luna in the first place, isn't it? Probably that Whisper. I bet my two bits that it isn't a pony at all.
Love this, cant wait for more! i would also love to see some pictures of Fury and the others!
ReplyDelete>“By the authority of the Princess of Equestria, you are under arrest.”
ReplyDelete-...but? ...huuuuuuuhh what ? Where the heck does THAT come from ? And they don't do it gently !
That came STRAIGHT from the left field, as the expression says.
If it's a way to secretly bring Twilight somewhere... why the use of excessive force ? (also... Applebloom too ???) Did I missed something ?
Oh dear. Some exposition. I don't even know what to feel about whom anymore.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff as always.
1)You know, of all the fanfics I've seen, few seem willing to take the story between Luna and Celestia as it is canonically presented.... and the vast majority seem bent on tilting the reader's empathy (often rather unfairly) in Luna's favor.....
ReplyDelete2)The scene with Fluttershy was quite moving.
3)The confrontation between the Apple family and Nightmare Fury was at turns gripping and funny. ("My apples are roasting!!" Darn you, I just CLEANED this monitor...)
4)I fear this current battle with the Brigade of Light will vastly diminish reader sympathy for her, though--- it's looking to be a monstrous slaughter.
5)I can't really say whether I approve of the "it was Celestia's fault too" trope that gets used so much in this fandom, but given that it's your story's premise, that it was Celestia's cold shoulder to Luna and her friends that brought about the whole Nightmare Moon mess in the first place, it seems Celestia owes Luna a lot more than forgiveness. She owes Luna-- and Luna's friends--- one hell of an apology... The question is whether, in your fic, she's noble enough to be forthcoming with it.
6) Changing it so that Celestia was ready to banish her sister for ALL ETERNITY, though... man, that's COLD. Even for this version of Celestia.
7)It strikes me that, considering Fury's motive for revenge, all it would take to stop her would be for her to see Luna...
I love points!
ReplyDelete1) Not sure if you think that's what I'm doing or not. I'm writing this as if the details of the events have been sanitized.
2)Thank you.
3)Hee hee hee...
4)I wanted to reinforce that only three ponies in Equestria have a chance to stop her: Celestia, Luna, and Twilight Sparkle. Don't worry, Goodlight lives.
5)You'll find out soon. I'll just say there was more going on than Luna remembers.
6)Oh, some pony wanted her to do much worse than that.
7) You'll find out soon as well. But tell me, how happy would you be if you found out that all the pain, violence, and death you metted out and a thousand years of punishment was all for nothing?
::cries:: Why is the next chapter going to have to be so long?
"Charge of the Brigade of Light" Oh, brother, that is just mean.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think it shows Celestia as being mean. She seems more overstressed and overworked. But the way she made some pretty bad decisions, even when her friends where pointing it out...
Something tells me Luna and her friends weren't the only ones influenced by that whisper thing...
TIN-FOIL HAT SPECULATION SPOILER
ReplyDeleteHonesty is absolutely Nightware Whispers, biding until the time is right to attempt to usurp the throne again and now the architect of all that is to go down. Keep your enemies closer, am I right?
Unless, you know, I'm wrong. Next chapter please!
Yeah the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Honesty has been a close advisor to Celestia since forever and as Nightware Whispers was moving things along before and during the Fall of Luna. But the thousand years since then, she hasn't been idle, oh no. Subtle suggestions and advice to Celestia has shaped the current situation into exactly what she planned, and she will continue to mislead the current Elements to their end!
ReplyDeleteAnd probably get thwarted in the end when the good guys win. But I'll bet she could do some damage between now and then.
This may well be the best serious fic on this site, more please! There's so much sheer win here that could do with some fanart love to.
ReplyDelete>Princess’ Elements of Harmony.
ReplyDelete-Harmony isn't even AN Element ?
Harmony IS the (sum of the) Elements. It's the name given to the whole set, not just to a single of them.
>What about the other Elements? Who was Celestia’s Loyalty, Laughter, Kindness, and Generosity
-*cough-cough*
Forgot Magic and Honesty...
Unless what the author TRIED to mean by 'Harmony' being an Element was that it was in fact the Element of Magic (under another name for no good reason)... but it still leave missing the Element of Honesty.
I hope I'm not the only one to have catched those... errors... ?
Arclight was Celestia's Loyalty.
ReplyDeleteRibald was Celestia's Laughter.
Lily was Celestia's Kindness.
Trueheart was Celestia's Generosity.
Honesty was Celestia's Honesty.
Celestia embodied the element of Magic.
Now for the other Nightmare Arcs I wonder what's in store for them now
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete[SPOILERS]
ReplyDeleteI was hoping for this outcome, of course I was. You did a good job of making me wonder which way it would go for quite some time though.
I think it works. It would be less believable that Fury wouldn't give in after seeing Luna, but the "she wants to be killed" angle makes it work. Celestia willingly giving herself up, not fighting back works too. Applebloom being in danger being the final straw that lets Fury, in her and Arclight's (or was it Ribald's?) words, make the right choice for once wouldn't be so believable if it wasn't for all of that. Now it does work though. I can see Fury's frustration there, everything piling up. Finally Celestia is there, yet she not only doesn't punish her, she doesn't even fight back. She just learned Luna is alive. And then Applebloom. Yes, I can see how that finally does the trick. I am not sure if the river had anything to do with it either, dousing her (almost?) completely. If that is the case though, it begs the question why she never tried to drown herself before. Considering everything.
So anyway... Wow. Just wow. All that for one of the Nightmares? And foreshadowing suggesting we will go through the same for all the others? Well, I suppose the others don't have to have as many chapters dedicated to them. Not that I'd complain if they did.
However, so far Fury is the only one the reader sympathises with. That goes for me anyway. If they really are going to try to save them all, I'm curious to see how you'll tackle that. Right now, I don't really care if they live or die. I definitely wanted to see Fury turned though.
And then there is Celestia. Obviously, she feels a lot of guilt for everything that happened. Still, all of Luna's old friends (I assume) are still alive. Her old friends are all dead, with teh exception of Honesty. That has to sting, there has to be some conflict there. I suppose that maybe Celestia feels guilt enough to ignore it, maybe even be at peace with it. Nevertheless, if you do have plans for that emotional struggle, I'm looking forward to it as well.
If you don't mind me asking, how large do you reckon this story is going to be? We have a looong way yet to go before season 2 starts, and large fics like this keep me interested. I certainly wouldn't mind if this goes on for quite some time.
That was epic, honestly Nightmare Fury/Firedamp is easily the best OC I've seen in MLP fanfic. I'm going to be very interested to see where you take the story now.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fanfic. it is made of win and awesome.
ReplyDelete@Baree
ReplyDeleteFury couldn't have killed herself by drowning. She wanted to be killed because that was what she'd done to Arclight and Ribald. In the end she was simply going to explode and let that be the end of that. Suicide by her own hoof would be a cheat. In essense she was trying suicide by cop, but stopped. The river was essentially there to justify her not cooking the others around her and to try for a crowning moment of awesome before she's swept away.
I honestly have no idea how long it will take for the other chapters. There's a lot of middle story to cover. So far no one has speculated what Zecora's seeds are or what Whisper wants with them. Then there's the Pegasus King and Unicorn Queen to cover. Rainbow Dash has to go into the future... ugh... why can't I come up with short stories?
Fury was originally going to be the only nightmare. But then I got imaginative. I've got Screamer down and Whispers figured out, but I'm still trying to get Vicious to gel. Stryfe is even less together. I hope I can make them as engaging.
I'm seeing Celestia as very lonely. I'm operating on the premise that once a ground of friends has that bond at that certain age, you can't ever go back to that level of trust and cameraderie. That's one reason why, after a thousand years, she's so willing to help Luna get her friends back because she knows now, after losing her own, how precious each of Luna's friends really was.
How long... why... it's almost over... two chapters... three at the.... ::Breaks down sobbing:: It'll never be done... why can't I write small stories? Why?
@ stryke there's going to be a shift away from Fury now. I admit it, she was originally an OC pony, but this story isn't about her any more. Things will hopefully become more intriguing as Twilight has to put her intellect to figure out Whisper's plot.
by god this is among the best fics I have ever read. The story gets more engrossing as it goes, and the dialogue is extraordinarily well done.
ReplyDeleteArclight struck a special cord. Ouch and baww.
Cannot wait for more. Well done!!
Very well done. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteCharacterizations are believable, but given that you've dealt with what appears to be the most...kind of the Nightmares, I can only wonder how you will go about nailing down the other Nightmares for their forgiveness?
Perhaps by force? I mean...Nightmare Moon/Luna wasn't exactly the most willing subject, if episode one is anything to go by. She just kind of got blasted.
Regardless, your technical skills are top notch (minus a few minor details); but more importantly, your story craft is solid. As the tale went on, you did something rather difficult: you caused a member of your audience (at least one) to feel for the antagonist. To want her to be healed.
I am distinctly impressed. Keep it up. Seriously, you've set the bar high for yourself, and the other elements of discord don't seem as keenly fit for redemption. Good luck.
@Somber
ReplyDeleteI would gladly beta-read for you. This story looks interesting so far, though I think some of the wording could be better (spelling/grammar, etc). If you like I could go through and proofread some of the earlier parts?
I'd love it if you could, but I don't know how to give you editing privileges... my proofreading skills are horrid thanks to dyslexia.
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeleteSimplest way for me to edit is to save a copy of the google docs story, edit that copy, then email it to you. That would also keep your original intact until you're ready to make the changes.
Are you using our email addresses to sign up for stuff?
ReplyDeleteThat would be awesome TLP. If you want to give it a look, send it to David13ushey@gmail.com. Every bit helps.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Vicious truly gives me the creeps.
ReplyDeleteI have to make me a list sometime of who of Luna's friends turned into which Nightmare. I'm bad with details like that :P
Luna => Nightmare Moon
ReplyDeleteFiredamp => Nightmare Fury
Evening Star => Nightmare Screamer
Morning Mist => Nightmare Strife
Briar Rose => Nightmare Vicious
???? => Nightmare Whispers
Trixie =>
Wait that's next chapter. Anyway, thank you for commenting Baree. Knowing that people care enough to comment... good or bad... keeps me writing. Heck some days it's all that keeps me going period.
I admit I sometimes want to comment just to make sure an author knows I am still reading their work. I still say this series is criminally under appreciated.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I do hope you can still find joy in your story just for the sake of writing it. If that makes sense.
My brain chemistry doesn't work that way. To me, all my writing is crap. A waste of everyone's time. Crappity crap of the crapiest crap to ever crap crap. I need to know other people want me to write. Otherwise it all just sort of withers inside me. That's why I crave feedback... good... bad... all the same. Just so long as I know my story matters to some one else.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you Baree, and everyone else who's commented here or on FF.net.
Holy crap Somber, I just realised you're the one that wrote Simply Rarity.
ReplyDeleteDon't you dare think what you write is crap, when that last scene with Unique finally hit me, it hit me harder than anything else on here has by a country mile.
So yes, here I am saying your work matters to me, and I want you to keep writing.
But I also want you to improve, so here's some constructive criticism;
This is a very common mistake - when somepony is studying in depth over research materials, they are poring over them. When they're emptying a vessel's contents (usually liquid or a flowing solid like sand) over said materials, they are pouring over them.
Plus I would be remiss in my fealty to Best Pony if I didn't call your attention to this little goof chapter 8:
"Rarity stomped her hoof, purple eyes narrowing as she scanned the skies over Ponyville."
As I'm sure you're aware, the eyes of the mare in question are azure.
Okay, enough of that. Tl;dr, you're good. I care. Keep writing.
Derp. Put the emphasis on the wrong vowel.
ReplyDeletePouring, should be.
@Somber
ReplyDelete'Simply Rarity' was one of the very best stories I've read here.
YOU write art, Somber. -I- write crap.
I very much enjoy your work, and truly do look forward to reading more of it.
-The Mechanic
For some reason I can't access Chapter 9 (it redirects to the login screen)...
ReplyDelete... even though Google Docs worked just fine on another fic. :|
is it just me or is chapter nine locked
ReplyDeleteCh 9 should be open now.
ReplyDeleteSigh...
ReplyDeleteTop stuff as always, this really is the one long fanfic that I look forward to seeing new chapters of the most. (Ok it's tied with Progress but that's damn high praise)
ReplyDeleteSurprised it's not getting more love here really.
Thank you stryke. I was starting to feel like I wasn't going to get a single comment. It's hard to write when no pony says anything. And I need to write. It's all I have.
ReplyDeleteAnother exceedingly well-done chapter. The part with Strife at the end was particularly engaging.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read all of the fanfics on this site, obviously, but in terms of narrative arc and ambition, this is certainly near the top.
Another great chapter! Can't wait to see what happens to Trixie, I'm erring on the 'used up and cast aside' path, but it'd be fun to see what she can do as a Nightmare.
ReplyDeleteI was surprised Rarity didn't catch more heat during the meltdown Pinkie was forced into by Strife. Just further evidence of best pony status, I guess.
Just a niggly thing, but pegasi is the correct pleural form of pegasus; It just threw me a little bit when I was reading.
Welp, goddamnit all if poni isn't completely dominating my life right now, and you're partially to blame Somber! Even writing my own goddamn poni stories now.
Long may it continue.
On a more serious note Somber, you are not alone; I'm not a happy pony either. I know how utterly wretched life can be sometimes - or most of the time, even - and how horribly alone it can make you feel, even amongst family (especially amongst family in my case). But for what little it's worth, I'm with you. Not physically of course - we're exceedingly unlikely to ever meet - but in spirit. I care about your art, Somber, and gross and cloyingly saccharine as it may be, I care about you too.
So, one broken soul to another, take care of yourself, brony.
I've got to say, although I've just got into this now, I love this fanfic! It's absolutely excellent, other than a few typos and grammatical errors.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I love the idea of the mane cast being legacy characters - and how you document how Celestia managed to use the Elements of Harmony.
Then, of course, there's the fact that the Elements of Harmony have an inverse, which the Elements of Discord is the perfect name for.
I love the way the flashbacks are portrayed, it gives so much sympathy to the Nightmares yet we still have to root for the mane characters.
That said, I have to say that Fluttershy facing off Nightmare Fury is one of my highlights, seeing her finally defend her critters was so heartwarming.
In conclusion, looking very much to seeing more in the future, but you may want to take a little more time, or maybe get somebody else, to check through for grammar and typos, because some can briefly interrupt the flow of an otherwise brilliant fic.
Euch... I'm sorry, I had this whole thing typed out and then Blogger decided it hates me and I lost it all. I'm afraid it will have to be the short version then.
ReplyDeleteWhich is, I am very glad you gave me that list. I reread chapter 6, which helps a lot. You're doing a great job with making me feel sympathy for Nigghtmare Strife/Morning Mist. As scary as her power is. I wonder if Honesty knows... I'll be waiting for chapter 10.
Don't be somber, Somber! I'm absolutely loving this story so far. Besides the occasional "pegasus" when "pegasi" would probably have been more appropriate, and the typographical errors the rest of the comments point out, it's great! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteCH.9 : (more than just a single comment ;) )
ReplyDelete>“Please tell me I can just kill this one and find a pony that doesn’t speak in the third person?” A pause and a sigh. “I never get what I want…”
-(sigh) Oh, let me guess... she's gonna be killed, eaten or possessed(then die)...
... The scene with the 3 bully-hoofmaids, Luna and Morning Mist is interesting. A hint of funny and a little bit of sweet ''revenge'' ;)
Wait a second ? Is Mist immortal too ?
Huh... does this mean that any pony close to the princesses are made immortal ?
I think, maybe I'm just getting confuse about in what ''time'' things are happening in this Chapter ...
>Princess Celestia had watched the memory with a wistful, regretful expression.
-Since when Celestia is in Luna's chariot ? ...I suppose they arrived at Canterlot, but it could have been ''said/shown'' ?
>“No, but you are for flying. What if some of the best flyers in Equestria came and performed some of their best maneuvers for the guests?
-And that's how the Wonderbolts were made ;) ...and apparently The Grand Galloping Gala too.
All thanks to Mist. :)
(RD is surprised about the Gala, but NOT about the *Creation* of the Wonderbolts... quite odd, no ?)
>“You are a genius, Luna. I’m sorry it took me a thousand years to recognize it.”
-Yeah, Go Luna ! :D
>How many times did I let stubborn pride over ride my love and common sense?
-Me think, it's better not to answer that one.
>The blue unicorn looked back at Rarity and said calmly, “There are other dress designers in Equestria.”
-Yep, now everyone hate Dignity... more.
(Seriously, all 6 consellors(those who apparently had the previous 6 elements) of Celestia, back in the day, were pretty much all haughty a-holes, really. Well, except maybe Harmony and the one who always tried to be happy-optimistic)
Man, I'm lovin' this fic so far! I've been slowly going through everything, adding spelling/grammar corrections where they're needed; I'm on Chapter 8 now. I'll send ya them all once I've read everything.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I'm liking stuff so far. Gosh, I find the deaths of the original element bearers so sad...Anywho, I like Arclight. Where'd you get the name?
It's actually a character name I've had for a while now. Originally a winged elven paladin, she's been pretty much a devoted but hard nosed character. Bawdy Ribald was my halfling bard. I have a few others that might show up here or there.
ReplyDelete@Nova, yes. When they became Celestia's elements of Harmony all her friends were touched by Celestia's longevity. Same with the Nightmares, though their lives were extended due to their forbidden magic. Only Honesty managed to live long enough for it to matter tho...
Mist invented the Gala yes, wonderbolts would come much later. But given that pegasi were team flyers and raiders, it wasn't much of a stretch. Sadly as the Gala became more and more exclusive it also sucked more and more.
Understand you're not seeing Celestia or her friends at their best. Celestia doesn't know the spell, and Luna and her sister's relationship was strained. Arclight was Celestia's bodyguard tormented by the knowledge that she failed to prevent Prince Valor's murder. Bawdy Ribald was a wandering minstrel who basically saved Celestia from the pits of despair after she was forced to assume control. Trueheart taught her how to manage an aristocracy all too eager to undermine and exploit her new position. Honesty was a nobody who pointed out that Celestia's harsh positions would eventually lead to revolution. Lily was a simple farm mare who grew flowers for the Princess. (both she and her sister were viewed as freaks for actually growing things in the dirt) Someday I hope to give some of Celestia's versions of events, because for some of these, its really going to matter.
If you must know, I'm sort of seeing Celestia's rule similar to Queen Elizabeth's. It wasn't easy to be a queen and she had some devoted followers (even if later on she had to execute one or two of them).
Part 10 was another excellent installment, and I can't wait to see more. I missed the flashbacks in this part, but that would have probably ruined the flow of things.
ReplyDeleteYou have crafted some complex and interesting villians. It's nice to know that the rest of Celestia's un-seen entourage had some good qualities.
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed the story so far and look forward to whatever else you plan to throw at us.
Throughly enjoyed Trixie and Stryfe screwing over Whisper's detailed plan. Never try to lie to someone who does it for a living.
Ah, we're finally getting a few glimpses into Whisper's past. Though as of yet, that's all it is.
ReplyDeleteI´m glad you are allowing Trixie to take the high road though, or at least that seems to be the case. So, we´re basically dealing with three nightmares now, sorta. Whispers is always around and now we've gotten some insight in both Screamer and Strife. We've met Vicious, so I guess all the Nightmares are at least accounted for.
Good to see another chapter ^^
-+-+-+-SPOILER-+-+-+-
ReplyDeleteAs soon as Screamer said she betrays everyone eventually, I realized the good guys got this. It's in the bag. Nicely done.
-+-+-+-SPOILER-+-+-+-
I am confused..
ReplyDeleteare you going to call this Perils of the past or elements of discord?
its hard to keep a copy of two titles that are the same story.. >_<
@Sdash
ReplyDeleteElements of Discord is a different story by a different author. Somber just also uses the phrase "Elements of Discord" in this story. it was never the title.
I read the description, until I got to elements of discord. OMGWTFBBQ?!?!!? I was gonna use that in the fanfiction I'm writing! I guess I'll have to call it something else now...
ReplyDelete@Baree
ReplyDeleteActually, in google docs it's called "Elements of Discord"; here it's called "Perils of the Past", since there's already a story here with the first name.
@bronydash
Synonyms for discord: chaos, dissonance, disharmony, strife.
Alternatively, you could just go with discord, as it seems to be the most logical antonym for harmony. It might just become part of fanon.
Another good chapter, Somber. Keep up the awesome writing!
ReplyDeleteFantastic stuff as always. The new Trixie and Nightmare Strife double act looks like it could be the start of a beautiful friendship, ok I very much doubt that but it's going to be deeply entertaining I'm sure none the less.
ReplyDelete@bronydash
ReplyDeleteI've seen at least 4 stories use that title. There's one here on EQD, there's Somber's story and at least 2 others on FF.
All different stories but a very popular title.
@The Lovely Penguin
ReplyDeleteAh, I never noticed that :)
Fluttershy managing to get into a physical fight, while staying in character, was amazing, along with the rest of what you've written so far. I look forward to more! ^^
ReplyDelete@Somber
ReplyDeleteWell, about the 6 consellors of Celestia being ''haughty a-holes'';
-I was mainly refering, to the scene (one of Luna' memory I think) where they all were with Celestia, and then they came to Luna and her friends... and they all pretty much spit on Luna+friends' face, in various ways (and Celestia wasn't doing anything to prevent that at all)...
Plus the parts where Dignity is saying that it was better when Earth Ponies were the slaves of Unicorns... and when she says that she don't care if Rarity (an Element of Harmony, by the way, dies horribly.)
Yeah... even before things started to go bad, they were bad ponies, except Honesty(I think).
(Like Blueblood's clones, but more violent.)
-----
Part 10 :
>Power without effort. Right up her alley. It was everything she wanted… right?
-Come on Trixie ! People know you're better than that.
>I’m gonna give her a hug… a boot to the snoot… and a welcome back party.
-Mmh ? I don't know why, but the middle one seems like something oddly familliar ? ;)
>If she WAS going to die, well it couldn’t get cooler than this, now could it?
-This SURE beat by a THOUSAND times a death like, say : ''speeding into a wall'' (seriously, a WALL! And the guy really thinks it's not a lame death for RD...).
*Shake my fist angrily toward a corner of the Internet*
(This point is related to another story... don't mind it much.)
>“If you were you’d know how dangerous a powder suspended in the air can be.”
-Wait ? That doesn't make any sense ?
That was STONE dust, no ?
She passed through a STONE wall, so...
And Screamer is related to storm, thunder and stuff, right ? ...So where does the ''miraculously mysterious'' exploding powder even came from ?
And you play the ''explosions in mines'' card; they only happen in coal mines and the likes, or when there's small pockets of methane... and even then... the consentration of oxygen must be at the right level, within a set space, to provoke ignition from something like a spark. And it goes without saying that a house with a hole in it, is rather well ventilated.
... Trixie's part, with the miror, was interesting and a bit intriguing, but I can't help but wonder; now that the miror is away, things are pretty much back to square one ? (Will Trixie help in redeeming Mist, maybe ?)
And apparently it takes TWO Alicorn (with centuries, if not milleniums of experience) to ''just almost'' beat a single ''Nightmare'' ?
The 2-3 Nightmares out there, just need to attack at the same time and they will win very easily, if what just happened is any indication ...
Like I said, we haven't seen Celestia's POV but she's said over and over again that she was wrong. They were difficult times. She could have prevented Luna's fall if Whispers hadn't been manipulating things. Even then, one kind word, one moment of understanding, and all this could have been prevented.
ReplyDeleteDignity is a unicorn in a position of power and authority. She knows Alicorns are superior to unicorns, unicorns to every pony else. And while Twilight and her friends are expendable to her, the Princesses are not. She has other reasons too.
RD has gone through several walls and windows without permanent harm. Pegasus are magically tough. It comes from being descended from the Tree of Power.
She ignited the flour suspended in the air. You want even more fun? Use powdered dairy creamer. I actually had this happen once at a bakery I worked at. Two employees thought it'd be fun to throw flour into a fan. Then it ignited from the ovens. Bang. I lost my eyebrows and half my hair (and my job when the bakery didn't reopen.) Grain dust explosions suck butt but at least no one got killed or maimed.
Oh it was one young Alicorn stripped of a thousand years of experience and one older Alicorn who was nearly beaten to death by fury, electrocuted by screamer, and she still won by raising the sun early and holding it like a blow torch over an ant.
And the reason they don't act in concert is because they can't. Moon is gone. Fury is gone. Strife and Vicious are bound. Whispers... doesn't fight...yet... That leaves Screamer. Small wonder Whispers wants more Nightmares. Too bad Trixie knows a thing that is too good is probably no good.
Excellent! Just finished part 10... this keeps getting better!
ReplyDeleteI love the detail with which you've sculpted the history and character of the Nightmares... making them savage and single-minded, yet also eminently pitiable. Nothing like redemption against all odds to make one feel at peace with things!
The more "visual" set-pieces, which always strike me as difficult to pull off in written fiction, have also been evocative and exciting.
The mirror is a superb device, well used... the scene with Pinkie Pie was great.
Keep up the good work, I'm loving this story.
You shouldn't worry too much about the length - your particular eye for detail largely justifies it!
I normally dont read fanfics, but i think i'll read this one since you used my twilight laser drawing.
ReplyDeletesincerely, Hirurux XD
I must say, Bravo! This is an excellent fic and I can't wait to see how it goes from here. Thanks for your hard work!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@swicked
ReplyDeleteEeyup, he (She? I think Somber's a guy, anyways...), has paused work on this for "Project Horizons". Gosh, I really hope to see this story continued soon...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePfft. A story about the Cutie Mark Crusaders awakening Discord, an enemy of Celestia's that she sealed away long ago, only to be defeated by the Elements of Harmony. That'd never happen.
ReplyDelete