• Story: Jack and the Ponies

    [Crossover] "The initial MLP segment feels like the show, the initial Jack segment feels like that should, and the two mesh incredibly well, with two distinct flavors melding into an exquisite read."-Pre Reader #8

    Author: Moabite
    Description: Samurai Jack finds his way to a strange land that holds an ancient secret. There, he and the native ponies must fight together in a battle for the fate of the world.
    Jack and the Ponies Part 1
    Jack and the Ponies Part 2
    Jack and the Ponies Part 3
    Jack and the Ponies Part 4
    Jack and the Ponies Part 5
    Jack and the Ponies Part 6

    Additional Tags: Samurai Jack, Aku, action, battle, origins

    55 kommentaari:

    1. Holy shit

      Samurai Jack and Ponies.

      My life is complete.

      VastaKustuta
    2. Samurai Jack AND ponies?!?!?

      Am I in heaven?

      VastaKustuta
    3. Dammit! I've been trying to figure out a crossover for weeks now, and everypony else takes the best ideas!

      VastaKustuta
    4. OMG, there are so many epic crosses, I am starting to have trouble thinking of things that haven't been crossed yet.

      Once again, my I am amazed by how awesome this fandom is.

      I know I am going to love this. :P

      VastaKustuta
    5. YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
      Coincidence: Samurai Jack came up in a conversation earlier today!

      VastaKustuta
    6. When does the special episode of My little samurai come out? This fic rocks!

      VastaKustuta
    7. Should I just save myself the trouble of scrubbing out stains in my pants and just five-start this already?

      VastaKustuta
    8. A quarter of a million views already? Wow, we'll reach 6 million in no time!

      VastaKustuta
    9. Wow I was a big fan of Samurai Jack, and I just passed over this picture like it was nothing out of the ordinary. That kind of shows how well they mesh.

      VastaKustuta
    10. @Zarkanorf

      Yeah, that would save you the trouble. But y'know what? This story is worth having to scrub the stains out of your pants.

      VastaKustuta
    11. Very good. Love the part where Celestia is the one that makes the final stand. Just the right length too... feels like its an episode that could slip in with the rest of the series.

      VastaKustuta
    12. Ohhhhhh, that was a good read. Which means I can't throw together my own Samurai Jack/MLP crossover to depose this one. Eh, back to the drawing board.

      VastaKustuta
    13. @ToonNinja Never hurts to try. Why not release it in a few months? Always good to see peoples different takes on things.

      VastaKustuta
    14. There is but one thing missing from this story, allow me to remedy that.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKT7g-tsMZs

      VastaKustuta
    15. Crossovers are usually bunk. I won't read them and this is no exception.

      VastaKustuta
    16. @AnonymousYou're missing out then

      VastaKustuta
    17. Couldn't put it down

      VastaKustuta
    18. Fantastic story. I'm unfamiliar with Samurai Jack, but this story filled me in on all the back story needed.

      My favorite parts were the Mane Six's parts of the battle, and each one was true to each Pony's strengths and character. I especially liked the part where Rarity literally pinned her opponent to the floor.

      VastaKustuta
    19. It was like a genuine episode of Samurai Jack, besides the fact that the ponies hogged most of the screen time. Still, I absolutely loved it, and would strongly recommend it to any fan of both series.

      VastaKustuta
    20. It wasn't difficult to imagine Jack in Equestria. After all, Jack has visited far stranger lands.

      On that note, it's not difficult to imagine Equestria as one of the estranged cultures of Aku's earth! It's cool how everything just fits.

      VastaKustuta
    21. This was a great nostalgia trip for me. Felt just like an episode and, despite the fact that I am not a fan of future Equestria theories, I cannot deny the fact that the two stories mesh incredibly well.

      @Sethisto
      I really like how you post the pre-readers comments before the story now. It really motivates me to read them.

      VastaKustuta
    22. That fit together amazingly well. I used to love Samurai Jack as a kid and I was very pleased with the way the final battle was written.

      Equestria really does seem like it could be one of those random one show cultures that Jack would encounter in a typical episode and I loved how it tied in with Nightmare Moon. 5 star!

      VastaKustuta
    23. Holy crap, that was some amazing stuff right there. I love how well the author got the Samurai Jack and Equestrian storylines to overlap. And the fight scenes were pretty sweet.

      It's official: Celestia is pure bad***ery. Defeating Aku with the intensified power of the sun? That's got to be the coolest thing EVER. :D

      VastaKustuta
    24. ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh

      VastaKustuta
    25. Speaking of Samurai Jack, there was an episode where he dual wields shields.

      Does anyone remember what one this was?

      I'm dying to watch that scene again.

      VastaKustuta
    26. @Sethisto

      I'm 90% sure that episode is based off of Frank Miller's 300. Yes Samurai Jack did 300 first. It was epic.

      VastaKustuta
    27. @Sethisto

      In Jack and the Rock Monster he dual wields shields to run through a hallway with spikes shooting out of the walls, and I think he fights with a pair in Jack and the Spartans, or that one with the gladiator games. It's been a while since I've seen those ones but I remember the Rock Monster one 'cause that was one of my favorite episodes.

      Anyway, this story was great, very exciting. I figured it was inevitable before someone wrote this, this fandom is really crossover happy. Not that I'm complaining.

      VastaKustuta
    28. best crossover, ever... fact

      VastaKustuta
    29. Wow...i wanted to just search through the good parts but i ended up taking 2 hours to read every single bit. This is more addictive than drugs or smoking, soon we'll see guides to helping people to get rid of pony love
      Also Aku V.S. Trollestia was awesome xD

      VastaKustuta
    30. THIS WAS EPIC!!!!!!

      And great explanation for EverFree!

      Over all just awesome!!!!


      Luna <3

      VastaKustuta
    31. That was great, but one thing is bugging me. If Jack manages to get back to the past, and defeats Aku before he enslaved the world, does that mean the ponies would never have come into existence? Or would they be protected because Equestria exists outside of normal spacetime?

      VastaKustuta
    32. @Jorlem

      I don't think any of the people(or things) he had met would even exist if he stopped Aku in the past. But they will still exist in a different dimension. Since you know the universe is infinite and theirs the whole infinite possibilities thing, heck theirs probably a pony planet who knows where in the universe

      VastaKustuta
    33. While this was pretty good, it felt more like a Samurai Jack episode then an MLP one. That is.. if this was ever made real, that's how it'd be treated, episode-wise.. not that that a bad thing at all!

      VastaKustuta
    34. I swear to god every crossover i wish for pops up here!! :D

      VastaKustuta
    35. @Jorlem

      That did occur to me when I was writing it, but I couldn't work the explanation into the story. Equestria is completely outside "normal" time and space, so it would be unaffected if Jack changed the past. :)

      VastaKustuta
    36. If I had to pick one best little short bit, it would have to be Angel and Jack's reaction to Angel.

      VastaKustuta
    37. Epic,really.
      Good work!

      VastaKustuta
    38. That was incredible. With how awesome Samurai Jack was, I could totally imagine an episode with him stumbling upon a MLP-esque society. This also goes to show that, once again, Friendship is Magic goes with EVERYTHING.

      And finally, Celestia/Aku fight was EPIC! :D

      VastaKustuta
    39. I know like everyone here has already said it but I too could easily see this happening to Jack. With all the strange groups of people he comes across I can honestly see the ponies not phasing him at all. The Celestia vs Aku fight was absolutely epic.

      VastaKustuta
    40. Okay, I'm halfway in, and while this story is gettng a ton of praise, much of it deserved, I sorta feel something needs to be said:
      It moves too fast.

      The crossover is great, and the characters are in character and all (save for MAYBE some aspects of Fluttershy) but I only just finished chapter 3 and already we've been thrown all the pre-conflict events, all the backstory, all the lead up and a good half of what looks very much like the final battle all in 3 chapters. Meanwhile, there has been almost no time devoted to building an atmosphere or to developing character or for character interaction.

      Now don't get me wrong, I like it, and the concept is interesting, and I WILL read the rest of it, but right now it's just not tickling that itch that other crossovers like "Timelords and Terror" or "Better Living through Science and Ponies" has.

      Remember, if fight scenes and neat plot and backstory elements are the tasty icing on a cupcake, then character, interaction, and atmosphere are the pastry. Right now you have icing, but no cupcake. Not a very good snack.

      Now I could be wrong and the next few chapters will amend this issue (if they do, I'll add a comment labeled "ADDENDUM"), but just for future reference, try to add more substance in the form of atmosphere and character in your next stories. You have a good thing going here, it just needs a bit more tweaking.

      As of right now? Three Stars. Like it.

      VastaKustuta
    41. Alright, now that this is back, I believe I may want to repost my review of it.

      Anyway, this story got a lot of posiive comments, and while a lot of them were well deserved, something about it really needs to be said: It moves too fast.

      This is the most common problem with fanfics around here. I will admit that you've got a really interesting premise here. The ponies are all in character (with the POSSIBLE exception of Fluttershy at times), and as far as I know Samurai Jack is in character (then again he could be acting like a Klingon and it'd be in character as far as I know). The mythology aspect you've added is interesting and, to give credit where credit is due... you are REALLY good at writing fight scenes.

      But here's the thing: You move FAR too fast with this. Only about halfway through the third chapter, the final fight scene begins, which then continues through the rest of the chapters. Now while having a multi-chapter fight scene isn't a BAD thing per se, it becomes bad when all you have before it is a quick introduction that zips through all the backstory, character introduction, interaction, and so forth like Speedy Gonzales. The result is something with a lot of potential and interesting ideas, but it just doesn't satisfy that itch that other crossovers like "Timelords and Terror" or "Better Living through Science and Ponies" has.

      What you should do is take more time to build atmosphere. Let us get a feel for the world and for the characters. Show us the interactions between the characters. Build up relationships and worlds with these. That's the real substance of the writing and what gives the reader a feel for the world and what makes them care about the people they're reading about. Remember if the fight scenes, cool concepts and awesome bad guys are the icing on a cupcake, then character building, relationships and atmosphere are the pastry. Right now you have icing, but no cupcake. Not a good snack.

      My advice is to keep writing and give yourself time to slow down and build up the world you're telling about. Show us character interactions and all. Get us to REALLY care. Good job for a beginning, but you need to work at it a bit more. Keep at it! :) Three stars. Liked it.

      VastaKustuta
    42. @Anonymous

      Thanks for reposting this - it was very frustrating that I couldn't respond to it for so long. You make some valid points, but I'd like to defend some of the choices I made with this story.

      You mention that you are not familiar with Samurai Jack. That's unfortunate, because I approached this story as a Samurai Jack episode with ponies as guest stars, not a MLP episode with Jack as guest star. Samurai Jack was a show that often (but not always) had very simple plots and instead focused heavily on stylish fight scenes ("Jack and the Ultrabots", "Jack and the Zombies", "Samurai vs Ninja"). For the fic, the fight was the focus of the story, and in fact I felt that I'd made the plot too long for that purpose, but it was necessary to explain the relationship between Earth and Equestria and make sure all the ponies had both an investment and an opponent for the fight. The fight itself was designed to engage the reader by using the existing skill sets of each pony in new ways, not by inventing new abilities through character development.

      Jack himself was a particularly mysterious protagonist in the show and almost never had any emotional relationship with other characters, with only two exceptions - Aku (purely antagonistic) and the Scotsman (friendly rivalry). As such, it would be impossible to write any major interactions between him and the ponies without making assumptions about his character that fans might disagree with. I paired him with Fluttershy for the start mostly because she wouldn't try to engage him on any meaningful level until both of them could meet the rest of the ponies for the infodump - another Samurai Jack staple ("Jack and the Ultrabots", "Jack and the Lava Monster", "Jack and the Dragon"), which I tried to mix with some MLP humour and characterisation.

      I will, however, admit some failings. First, I did attempt to build a feeling of urgency and danger, so if you felt that there was no atmosphere then I did not succeed. Second, like I said before, the plot is indeed rushed but I think instead of making it longer, I should have made it simpler and more compact.

      I am sorry you did not enjoy the story as much as I hoped someone unfamiliar with Samurai Jack would. I don't think my next story will be a crossover and hopefully will instead contain all the elements you mention here.

      VastaKustuta
    43. I was really quite happy with how this turned out, I love how the two shows were tied together rather professionally.

      It felt like a Samurai Jack episode some of the time and a pony episode the other time.

      10/10

      VastaKustuta
    44. @Moabite

      I loved the story, a good 4.5 stars at least. I loved how it felt just like a Samurai Jack episode, but with ponies. It really isn't all that strange an encounter for Jack, he's certainly already met a fair share of strange and interesting groups of people.

      As for Jack's characterization, I felt that it was done well. Jack has always struck me as a paladin type, as much a force for good himself as the sword he wields. His relationship with other characters is pretty much always him protecting those that cannot protect themselves and fighting those who would prey on them.

      Anyway, I have to say my favorite part was Celestia showing up and kicking Aku's ass. You do NOT mess with a goddess's children and get away with it.

      VastaKustuta
    45. Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.

      VastaKustuta
    46. GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS

      VastaKustuta
    47. I wish it could have been fleshed out a bit further, but I still enjoyed it.

      VastaKustuta
    48. Unleash the power of the sun! Great story!

      VastaKustuta
    49. Awesome read. I haven't seen Samurai Jack in awhile, but I remember enough to know that this is an excellent representation, very good crossover indeed. (I wish I had the time to go watch them all)

      With all the animation fans who got into MLP because they loved the old shows like Samurai Jack, I'm surprised this doesn't have more votes, though the 6-star is dead-on.

      Seth should do a 'best of fics' post someday, which would be more or less made up of 6-stars, and I would support this one being included in the crossover section of said post. Well done Moabite.

      VastaKustuta
    50. anyone else play the samurai ending credits theme song after they finished the story?

      VastaKustuta
    51. This was an excellent crossover fic, well deserving of the 6 stars. I was particularly impressed with how perfectly all of the characters were represented. It felt very natural and episodic. As soon as I finished the final sentence, I instinctively had the Samurai Jack ending theme playing in my head, to answer Balancia's question.

      VastaKustuta