Bluh this seemed either out of character because it was either not off the edge enough or because it was too off the edge, I'm not sure which. I see many ways it could have been worse. I see Fluttershy as being more of the, once she's lost her sanity and self-control, the type to torture someone, not just be an arsonist.
Seemed a tad short for a story bump. It was pretty decent although it could've used a bit more foremath/aftermath, if only to pad things out a bit more.
Why do people mislabel so? This is obviously grim and dark. Plus it isn't random like alien bunnies abducting Fluttershy, this is a thought out and coherent plot by the evil enchantress herself.
@Everyone saying I should've labeled it "grimdark": The tag was really just a matter of personal opinion. I almost asked Seth to add a grimdark tag as well, but I consider true grimdark to be more graphic than this...as in, involving a non-ambiguous portrayal of death/warfare/lots of violence/etc. The story's dark, but it's dark because I was going for black humor. Considering the fact that the humor was intended to come from the immense exaggeration of Flutterage, I decided it was more "random" than "grimdark".
Just in case anyone was interested in my thought process.
She raped my dog right on the front lawn then hit me over the head with a brick when I tried to stop her. She woke me up by peeing in my hair and then set my house on fire and ran. Then while we struggled to put it out, she came back and stole my mail.
Fluttershy... You're really starting to scare me... That was out of character for you to do, Fluttershy... Hehehe... Setting that pony's house on fire... Maybe I should scare you back... hehe... to make up for what you did to me... you have any idea what they do with animals in my world? Fluttershy: No... They hunt creatures down... AND MOUNT THEIR HEADS ON A WALL!!! (begins cackling maniacally, clearly insane by this point) Fluttershy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
I can't really argue with that...this wasn't really an attempt to portray a realistic reaction that Fluttershy might have as much as it was a "worst possible scenario" bit of randomness that took over my brain last night and demanded to be written down. The short length was definitely intentional, though; any longer, and I probably would've had no choice but to make it grimdark, which I was hoping to be able to avoid. It was supposed to be more darkly funny than truly frightening.
Yuri, the critters didn't cheat on her with another mare, either.
It's an enjoyable fic and I had fun reading it. Is it OOC? Definitely. Is it explained? Yes. It's not like Aquaman just wrote a story about Fluttershy gleefully setting ponies' houses of fire for no reason. The colt cheated on her and Fluttershy snapped. It's a cautionary tale about why you don't fuck around with Fluttershy.
@Anonymous It's grim, yes, but it isn't Grimdark. Grimdark includes violence, murder, torture, ect. This is Arsen, also bad, but not grimdark. Crazy yes, but not grimdark... sorry, lol. It's also random because it has no real plot line. Yes there is a situation and a small story behind it that can be derived from the dialogue, but no real plot. Just a filly gonna go do some crazy things.
-SPOILER-
So who's house was she burning? Cherry's or Could Kicker's? I was guessing cherry's but idk...
ok, wait. Time out. When did this fandom take a right turn into crazy town? I mean I know the episodes themselves hold the seeds to stuff like this, but . . . OK and Cupcakes didn't help either but . . . OH GOD! I wrote some stuff like this myself! What the hell is wrong with all of us?! I mean, can't they just be fun happy ponies? Is there something wrong with that? Is it a fundamental flaw in the human psyche that makes us believe things can't be TOO perfect?
You remember the movie "the Matrix" where Agent Smith said that initially the matrix was built as a Utopia, but humans couldn't accept it, and the whole thing had to be restructured into the mess it is today? Yeah, that is what this reminds me of. Tonberry was right. We are all to blame, and this is Everyone's Grudge.
I kinda lean toward this being grimdark, but, since it's never actually -stated- that anyone dies in the fire (maybe he's not in there and Fluttershy is just doing property damage to make a point - I mean, if he were in there, you'd expect to hear screams as he was roasted alive or whatnot) maybe random fits... Maybe we need a "grim" tag that's "softer" than grimdark?
Flutterage is awesome, but I think this story would be better suited fo pinkie. After all, she is BATSHIT INSANE, so I guess thing would come naturally to her.
45 comments:
That...should I be laughing this much? xD
ReplyDeleteNo, Fluttershy, NO!!
ReplyDeleteWoah.
ReplyDeleteBluh this seemed either out of character because it was either not off the edge enough or because it was too off the edge, I'm not sure which. I see many ways it could have been worse. I see Fluttershy as being more of the, once she's lost her sanity and self-control, the type to torture someone, not just be an arsonist.
ReplyDeleteThis is suprisingly fitting for Fluttershy.
ReplyDeleteNote to self: NEVER cross Fluttershy. She makes Trollestia seem merciful.
ReplyDeleteI loved the dialogue in this soooo much. You did a really great job writing Twilight, especially.
ReplyDeleteI think yandere Fluttershy is my new favorite thing ever.
It's funny, but I hope we don't see a thousand more Yandere Fluttershy fics because of this.
ReplyDelete"ill have you yet my pretties...."
ReplyDelete"if any if you birds, or monkeys, or bears walk on this net you will be mine! MINE!!!!"
Sometimes these ponies make Heath Ledgers joker seem like pleasang company
YOU GONNA GET LOVED
ReplyDeleteSeemed a tad short for a story bump. It was pretty decent although it could've used a bit more foremath/aftermath, if only to pad things out a bit more.
ReplyDeleteWas this written before or after "The Best Night Ever"?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHa, you wish, people are going to milk crazy Fluttershy to the bone.
Why do people mislabel so? This is obviously grim and dark. Plus it isn't random like alien bunnies abducting Fluttershy, this is a thought out and coherent plot by the evil enchantress herself.
ReplyDeleteMislabeled. Should be grimdark. Still awesome though!
ReplyDeleteoh
ReplyDeleteman
everupony in this town is CRAZY
ReplyDeleteWhy did this get featured? It's not particularly entertaining or unique.
ReplyDeleteThat was insane. Awesome, yet insane.
ReplyDelete@Everyone saying I should've labeled it "grimdark": The tag was really just a matter of personal opinion. I almost asked Seth to add a grimdark tag as well, but I consider true grimdark to be more graphic than this...as in, involving a non-ambiguous portrayal of death/warfare/lots of violence/etc. The story's dark, but it's dark because I was going for black humor. Considering the fact that the humor was intended to come from the immense exaggeration of Flutterage, I decided it was more "random" than "grimdark".
ReplyDeleteJust in case anyone was interested in my thought process.
Now I see...the way she treated the dragon and the cockatrice was only the tip of the iceberg.
ReplyDeleteShe knows NO boundaries! NONE!
ReplyDeleteShe raped my dog right on the front lawn then hit me over the head with a brick when I tried to stop her. She woke me up by peeing in my hair and then set my house on fire and ran. Then while we struggled to put it out, she came back and stole my mail.
NO BOUNDARIES!
Personally, I want more crazy Fluttershy stories because half the humor comes from them being so out of character(or maybe IN character?).
ReplyDeleteSure, some people won't like it, but sometimes I like something completely opposite of the norm to liven things up.
Funny story by the way :D
someone needs to make one of those its (insert something) time!! for fluttershy you know like the pinkie one, because its funny
ReplyDeleteLOVE ME, MOTHER****ERS!
ReplyDelete...kerosene cans are blue...
ReplyDeleteA good attempt but far too short and OOC. :(
ReplyDeleteFires are red,
ReplyDeleteCan's can be blue.
Fluttershy you scary;
I'm running from you.
Haha that was awesome XD
ReplyDeleteFluttershy... You're really starting to scare me... That was out of character for you to do, Fluttershy... Hehehe... Setting that pony's house on fire... Maybe I should scare you back... hehe... to make up for what you did to me... you have any idea what they do with animals in my world?
ReplyDeleteFluttershy: No...
They hunt creatures down... AND MOUNT THEIR HEADS ON A WALL!!! (begins cackling maniacally, clearly insane by this point)
Fluttershy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI may have been thinking of a gasoline canister.
That's what slamming out a thousand words in forty-five minutes at 11:30 gets me, I suppose. Off to edit! XD
@DarkJester
I can't really argue with that...this wasn't really an attempt to portray a realistic reaction that Fluttershy might have as much as it was a "worst possible scenario" bit of randomness that took over my brain last night and demanded to be written down. The short length was definitely intentional, though; any longer, and I probably would've had no choice but to make it grimdark, which I was hoping to be able to avoid. It was supposed to be more darkly funny than truly frightening.
I liked it ^_^
ReplyDeleteNo setup. Besides even considering the last episode this is highly out of character. She just wanted to catch the critters not burn them.
ReplyDeleteYuri, the critters didn't cheat on her with another mare, either.
ReplyDeleteIt's an enjoyable fic and I had fun reading it. Is it OOC? Definitely. Is it explained? Yes. It's not like Aquaman just wrote a story about Fluttershy gleefully setting ponies' houses of fire for no reason. The colt cheated on her and Fluttershy snapped. It's a cautionary tale about why you don't fuck around with Fluttershy.
@aclockwerkponi
ReplyDeleteThat, plus I never intended for this to be serious at all. XD
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteIt's grim, yes, but it isn't Grimdark. Grimdark includes violence, murder, torture, ect. This is Arsen, also bad, but not grimdark. Crazy yes, but not grimdark... sorry, lol.
It's also random because it has no real plot line. Yes there is a situation and a small story behind it that can be derived from the dialogue, but no real plot. Just a filly gonna go do some crazy things.
-SPOILER-
So who's house was she burning? Cherry's or Could Kicker's? I was guessing cherry's but idk...
ok, wait. Time out. When did this fandom take a right turn into crazy town? I mean I know the episodes themselves hold the seeds to stuff like this, but . . . OK and Cupcakes didn't help either but . . . OH GOD! I wrote some stuff like this myself! What the hell is wrong with all of us?! I mean, can't they just be fun happy ponies? Is there something wrong with that? Is it a fundamental flaw in the human psyche that makes us believe things can't be TOO perfect?
ReplyDeleteYou remember the movie "the Matrix" where Agent Smith said that initially the matrix was built as a Utopia, but humans couldn't accept it, and the whole thing had to be restructured into the mess it is today? Yeah, that is what this reminds me of. Tonberry was right. We are all to blame, and this is Everyone's Grudge.
@Anonymous
ReplyDelete*Brohoof*
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI blame both canon Fluttershy and myself for being crazy enough to inspire this.
So you're probably right. Or something.
That was actually pretty awesome O.O
ReplyDeleteEnthralling, really... :D I LOVE IT.
It was... odd.
ReplyDeleteI kinda lean toward this being grimdark, but, since it's never actually -stated- that anyone dies in the fire (maybe he's not in there and Fluttershy is just doing property damage to make a point - I mean, if he were in there, you'd expect to hear screams as he was roasted alive or whatnot) maybe random fits... Maybe we need a "grim" tag that's "softer" than grimdark?
I dunno...
I don't think he was in the house when she set it ablaze. I mean, it wouldn't make sense to kill someone if you're trying to make them love you.
ReplyDeleteI think she was doing this to scare him back into her crazy arms. X3
Oh, intentional ambiguity...how I adore thee.
ReplyDelete:D
Oh GOD I laughed xD. Seriously, I have not laughed this hard in a LONG TIME. Absolutely hilarious, and brilliantly written.
ReplyDeleteFlutterage is awesome, but I think this story would be better suited fo pinkie. After all, she is BATSHIT INSANE, so I guess thing would come naturally to her.
ReplyDelete