• Story: The Fluttershy Effect

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    Author: SuperStingray
    Description: What would happen if Rainbow Dash never performed the Sonic
    Rainboom that united the mane cast? A time traveling mishap gives us the
    answer. And it's not pretty.
    The Fluttershy Effect

    Additional Tags: Epic, Time Travel, Sci-fi, Cutie Mark, Alternate Timeline
    Monday, May 9, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , , , ,
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    55 comments:

    1. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:17 AM

      Oooh... This is interesting.

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:25 AM

      "What if there were no sonic rainboom" seems to be turning into a sub-genre of pony fics.

      I approve. It's a very interesting premise with a lot of potential answers.

      ReplyDelete
    3. CeetsMay 9, 2011 at 11:33 AM

      I can't wait until the second chapter!

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:39 AM

      Time Travel is not safe travel.

      The branching paths are always messed up if you change one single thing.

      ReplyDelete
    5. ZAquanimusMay 9, 2011 at 11:41 AM

      Hmmm.. rather well handled...

      Now if only I could figure out how my twist is gonna play out.

      ReplyDelete
    6. SuperStingrayMay 9, 2011 at 11:51 AM

      @Anonymous
      I agree. Paradoxes in stories are generally just assumed not to exist to make things simpler. Considering the microscopic factors, even bumping into someone can cause a different sperm if to reach a different egg, should they eventually reproduce, causing a different combination of traits in their offspring. If it's possible, I doubt Time Travelling would be as lenient as it is in any story ever written.

      ReplyDelete
    7. NinestempestMay 9, 2011 at 11:59 AM

      I'm intrigued by the premise but feel that most of the characters are incredibly out of character so far. And by most I mean Twilight and Trixie.

      I'm probably going to keep reading this but it's difficult right now...

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymooseMay 9, 2011 at 12:09 PM

      Yeah. Lots of OOC content in there...Especially Twilight.
      Good cliffhanger though.

      ReplyDelete
    9. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM

      Just In Time Travel: Your temporal manipulation experts. We adjust temporal anomalies and repair paradoxes so you won't have to have generated them in the first place.
      Our rates are first rate. Always the lowest price.

      ReplyDelete
    10. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 12:32 PM

      I just needed to say that the title of this fic is absolute genius.

      ReplyDelete
    11. TotalOverflowMay 9, 2011 at 12:46 PM

      The only way I can think for this mess to be fixed is with the help of a good Doctor friend ;)

      ReplyDelete
    12. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 12:57 PM

      Either Dr. Whoof or Dr. Emmett TotalOverflow.

      They have a Dr. Emmett and he usually causes temporal troubles all over the place.

      ReplyDelete
    13. Don_koMay 9, 2011 at 1:33 PM

      Doctor who? Doctor Leap! Bought a time machine parts in a shop!

      well, I like this story. But. duh. where the continuation& Should we wait for months like with some other stories?

      ReplyDelete
    14. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 3:03 PM

      This story's abrupt ending makes me sad =[

      ReplyDelete
    15. uberPhoenixMay 9, 2011 at 3:14 PM

      I like the plot development, and the title had me laughing until I couldn't breathe. Also, unlike some of the other readers, I didn't have a problem with the characterization; I thought it was decent.

      That said, there's still some ways it could be better. There are a few grammatical errors spread throughout, and some sentences look like they weren't proofed. (Like I'm one to talk; I don't proof either, but "The next morning Twilight woke up the next morning" came to mind, and should have been caught.)

      Also, there's a large speech-to-description radio, and the dialog doesn't always feel natural. As a result, the dialog seems forced, like it's only there to advance the plot and doesn't contribute to characterization.

      That said, I do like this story. I really do, and I'll read the next part, when it comes. The humor was great (even though I personally feel that a joke was missed when Twilight was trying to explain their urgency to man experimenting with time travel, but that's just me.)

      I look forward to what comes next. I wonder if there will be an encounter between Twilight and Alternate Twilight.

      ReplyDelete
    16. SuperStingrayMay 9, 2011 at 4:33 PM

      That's for the feedback. This is my first bona fide fiction of any sort, let alone of the "fan" variety, so I don't really have the strongest grasp on narrative techniques yet. I agree with Ubergeek that balancing dialog and narrative tends to be my Achilles heel.

      I'm working on it progressively, so it's not really going to be released in chunks like a lot of the other stories here.

      ReplyDelete
    17. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 5:16 PM

      The Butterfly Effect was the only good thing Ashton Kutcher ever did in his acting career.

      ReplyDelete
    18. Mysterious, Disembodied VoiceMay 9, 2011 at 5:22 PM

      John Trotter time-traveling without a phone-operated microwave!?
      MADNESS!

      ReplyDelete
    19. smxMay 9, 2011 at 5:32 PM

      Well IT's time to Get your Dr. Whooves on,I Really like this story. wibbly wobbly Timey Wimey Ball in full effect.

      ReplyDelete
    20. PooooooooooonyMay 9, 2011 at 10:03 PM

      Well shit. Author seriously needs to hurry the fuck up.

      ReplyDelete
    21. supervanman64May 9, 2011 at 11:24 PM

      The ending seriously made me think "Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun"

      Can't wait for the next part! :3

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:42 PM

      is there a sequel yet?

      ReplyDelete
    23. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:59 PM

      >.> ninja'd so many times.

      well never mind, as long as there's Luna :3

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 12:39 AM

      Ha ha ha, oh wow! A while ago at Ponychan, in a thread, I referenced Haruhi Suzumiya by mentioning "The Melancholy of Twilight Sparkle". Then this happens. Need I say more?

      ReplyDelete
    25. BronyMikeMay 10, 2011 at 4:03 AM

      AUGH, BALLS

      I DIDN'T SEE THE "INCOMPLETE" TAG

      AND NOW I MUST READ THE REST

      TIME TRAVEL MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. NO EXCEPTIONS.

      Though, this is closer to Back to the Future Part 2 than The Butterfly Effect. Seriously, this is pretty awesome so far.

      ReplyDelete
    26. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 4:16 AM

      AUGH
      I missed the incomplete tag too, Hnnnnngh--

      ReplyDelete
    27. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 1:50 PM

      My head is full of WTF?

      ReplyDelete
    28. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 4:04 PM

      While I like the concept, I think you put too much on the account of the sonic rainboom. Rarity magic were already showing her her fate before the sonic rainboom crack open the rock. It would have taken time but she would have noticed that she could detect the gems soon or later. Maybe it would kill her fashion designer carrier to not know now but she would have her cutie mark and probably had an another job probably miner or jeweller. The last one seem more like her.

      Applejack was already homesick, would she really stay in Manehattan if she didn't see the rainbow? Rainbow Dash already seems to love flying, racing and speed, I think that she would only find it later.

      True, without the Race Twilight Sparkle would have fail to enter in this school and become Celestia student, so this part look logical. Without the Race Fluttershy would probably never discover her true talent and would still be miserable at Cloudsdale. True, this rainbow was the inspiration for Pinkamena Diane Pie, so she is probably still on the farmmaybe with no cutie mark or maybe with a rock related cutie mark.

      ReplyDelete
    29. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 8:35 PM

      Also, they still wouldn't have defeated Nightmare Moon, because that relied on Twilight studying under the Princess and being sent to Ponyville.

      I love this story. Can't wait for Part 2 ^.^

      ReplyDelete
    30. PonyIconsMay 10, 2011 at 11:27 PM

      This is an awesome fic. I loved the twist in the last line...really excited to see what happens next.

      ReplyDelete
    31. SuperStingrayMay 11, 2011 at 12:57 AM

      @BronyMike
      The name's more a reference to the phenomenon than the movie.

      ReplyDelete
    32. SuperStingrayMay 11, 2011 at 12:58 AM

      Sorry to keep you waiting for the next part. I've just started classes and kinda busy getting my bearings, etc. Will try to add some more tomorrow.

      ReplyDelete
    33. AnonymousMay 13, 2011 at 12:43 PM

      I require more.

      ReplyDelete
    34. GiromMay 13, 2011 at 5:01 PM

      EPICSAUCE. Time paradox.

      ReplyDelete
    35. AnonymousMay 14, 2011 at 11:22 AM

      why can't I access the story archieve anymore?! my browser said it takes too long to respond. . . . help pls!

      ReplyDelete
    36. AnonymousMay 14, 2011 at 10:03 PM

      I love this fic. :) It's very well-written and very interesting to read.

      Although Your Mileage May Vary on the believability of it all, I'm willing to allow enough leeway to believe it.

      You should really have put the story into separate chapters, though, so that I'm not having to keep checking the bottom of the single for updates. Lol.

      ReplyDelete
    37. AnonymousMay 14, 2011 at 10:04 PM

      *the single page

      ReplyDelete
    38. AnonymousMay 15, 2011 at 11:16 AM

      I never expected such a situation, as in the end of first chapter.
      And at the same time I was hoping for it for a long time

      ReplyDelete
    39. AnonymousMay 20, 2011 at 12:23 AM

      Did Twilight say the Oranges are not Applejack's true family?

      What are they then? Fake family? I don't think they'd be happy with her saying that.

      ReplyDelete
    40. AnonymousMay 23, 2011 at 2:19 PM

      MOAR!!!!

      ReplyDelete
    41. SuperStingrayMay 24, 2011 at 8:48 PM

      Held up by school work lately. I'll try to add more soon.

      ReplyDelete
    42. Silver ManeMay 30, 2011 at 1:28 AM

      I'm very glad that my random number generator gave me 110. That was quite a story, and I look forward to the continuation. I'll have to check back soon.

      ReplyDelete
    43. AnonymousJune 9, 2011 at 12:21 AM

      MOAR

      ReplyDelete
    44. AnonymousJune 16, 2011 at 7:56 PM

      more please

      ReplyDelete
    45. Chaos KnuxJune 23, 2011 at 5:53 PM

      @Anonymous
      That was Ashton Kutcher?

      ReplyDelete
    46. AnonymousJune 25, 2011 at 11:01 PM

      Why cant i read the rest of the story?

      ReplyDelete
    47. AnonymousJune 27, 2011 at 1:18 AM

      @Anonymous That's why I always thought that time travel would always be more like a "Window" so that you can't really interact with anything.

      ReplyDelete
    48. AnonymousJuly 6, 2011 at 1:05 AM

      Y CANT I READ THE REST OF THE STORY?

      ReplyDelete
    49. AnonymousJuly 12, 2011 at 6:55 AM

      Very well written. The only mistake I found was you misspelled Macintosh.

      ReplyDelete
    50. The Lovely PenguinJuly 15, 2011 at 1:33 PM

      Despite some small spelling/grammar errors, this story is awesome! I agree with the others: this story should indeed be released in separate chunks so that we know when it updates. But anywho I really can't wait to see what happens next!

      ReplyDelete
    51. LordlyhourAugust 4, 2011 at 3:55 PM

      so... THis gunna update any time soon?

      ReplyDelete
    52. banannagramAugust 24, 2011 at 7:02 PM

      @Anonymous I think that's just another difference between the worlds.

      ReplyDelete
    53. banannagramAugust 24, 2011 at 7:03 PM

      What's this doing under shipping?

      ReplyDelete
    54. JamesBobOctober 3, 2011 at 5:01 PM

      Good fanfics!
      Y U NO UPDATE!?

      ReplyDelete
    55. FamusJamusOctober 31, 2011 at 3:30 PM

      ^ This.

      ReplyDelete

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