Author: no space
Description: It's been years since many of the ponies from Ponyville moved to the big city to follow dreams and other friends. The years, however, have not been kind.Deluge
Additional Tags: Noir, Murder, Detective, Gang, Interconnectedness
12 kommentaari:
Dark, mysterious, pieced together like an expensive puzzle.
VastaKustutaI like it!
I'm loving this story!
VastaKustutaI love Noir to no end, this was a great read, even if it felt short.
VastaKustutaPonies seem to work frighteningly well in a noir setting. I really loved this story and hope you choose to write a continuation...so much more could be done with this universe!
VastaKustutaNoir pony is best pony. I'd love to see more of this story, even though the ends are mostly tied up
VastaKustutawow. one pony [and dragon] after another. I think I didn't think I'd find Noir style interesting.
VastaKustutaAmazing! I hope a sequel (or prequel) is in the works!
VastaKustutaShort and very sweet (or perhaps sour? :p) but all the same, nice job! Hope to see more of your works :)
VastaKustutaWorks very well as a self-contained piece, but I do really hope you write a continuation.
VastaKustutaTagged as complete I see.
VastaKustutaI... well, it was okay. Yes it is noire, so it is a subject matter I'm not familiar with. But I honestly didn't feel much emotional investment in the characters or with what was going on. RD seemed to only be there to get TS to talk about what they had; TS seemed to only be there to have that talk. PP/FS and AJ/Rr were good curves, but it felt kind of empty. Maybe that's intended, I can't tell.
I... I just don't know. So very odd.
@Nines
VastaKustutaThanks for the feedback. I actually was afraid that would be a problem. When I was going into the story, I knew I wanted to condense it as much as possible. I wanted it to be mostly snapshots, instead of entire scenes of how they got there and where they're going. I had a lot of background desires and emotions for all the characters that I knew they were feeling, but I didn't think it would be very organic if I brought them in in an obvious manner. The characters are playing a lot of things close to their chest since they no longer have these confidants to share things with, and they probably don't even allow themselves to think about them much anymore, and instead just react to the situations. At least, that's what I was going for. I probably didn't pull it off very well, and I can definitely see how the emotional investment would suffer for that.
The RD/TS thing, I hadn't really thought of. To be honest, the part you're talking about was more of an after-thought. I was just going to detail RD getting some money from TS, then leaving, but I needed to flesh it out more.
@no space: Ehhh... I'll say I thought that stuff came across fairly well. A lot of it was implied in the Noirity of it all, to be fair.
VastaKustutaBut yeah. I loved it.