Author: Midnight Shadow
Description: There comes a time in every young dragon's life when he must visit a certain...place...and Twilight is going to do her best by her very best assistant. precautions will be needed. she is prepared.Google Documents
Calling the Shots
Teething Problems
Business Trip
Business Trip Part 2 (New!)
Fimfic
Calling the Shots
Teething Problems
Business Trip
Business Trip Part 2 (New!)
Additional Tags: surprise, funny, silly, random
128 comments:
Loved it!
ReplyDeleteTwilight you crafty mare you.
ReplyDeleteGood read.
Aw... Made of win and gems. I love it! Absolutely adorable and hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty good, love the bit with Celestia, and the spaying bit (though I don't know why they're treating Spike like a mindless animal).
ReplyDeleteThough I worry what Spike will do to Twilight that will require her to go to the dentist.
Spike wearing a protection cone. Image must be made.
ReplyDeleteepic win
ReplyDeleteThey... they didn't actually neuter him, did they?!
ReplyDeleteGenius. I guess there's a lot to explore with the whole baby dragon bit, and you ran with that.
ReplyDeleteCelestia seemed a little out of character, but it was funny nonetheless. It never occurred to me to think that Spike could send anything besides a letter to Celestia.
Still, I had a huge grin on my face throughout the entire reading. Well done!
We definitely need more Spike around here.
ReplyDeleteHa ha this was hilarious ^.^ I loved the bit about him getting neutered. And Celestia was funny too.
ReplyDeleteOne critique, though. It mentioned how he wanted candy a few times, but Spike seems to only eat gems.
I'm surprised there isn't more grimdark Spike stories after the way Twilight treats Spike. I would have totally bailed on her after getting betrayed
ReplyDelete@Homfrog
ReplyDeleteI don't think so.
Lost it at the bit with Celestia and the soap opera. Somehow, that just added to the madness of it all.
ReplyDeleteOh man, the part about Celestia watching that soap opera or whatever made me smile.
ReplyDeleteAnd Twilight "considering" neutering Spike and how he reacts is just priceless. X3
I was ready to shout GRIMDAAAAAAAAAAAARK myself, but no, this was a good read.
ReplyDeleteI had to bite my tongue HARD to not wake anyone up with my laughing. c:
ReplyDeleteAhaha, very funny read. I enjoyed it thoroughly. nicely done. :)
ReplyDelete@Brony_and_Proud
ReplyDeletegems are dragon-candy!
and don't worry, all, no lasting harm was done to our favourite baby dragon. Just the shots.
@Paperpony
ReplyDelete@Paperpony
ReplyDeleteHmmm, a cupcake-style fic where Spike kills and eats Twilight?
I'd read it!
Hehe, this was cute, and funny. It felt almost like an actual episode of the show.
ReplyDelete@Beau
ReplyDeleteYeah, totally! (except maybe for the Celestia bit)
But anyway, I giggled throughout. Great read! ^^
You know, after this amazing story I totally expect you to write the sequel about Twilight and the dentist... No, I demand it!
ReplyDeleteDo it, or Rarity starts whining!
I want to read the dentist visit now...
ReplyDeleteThis was hilarious! The image of baby Spike chewing through the veterinary hospital will be forever in my mind.
ReplyDeleteman a lot of this fanfiction is almost as good as the show's writing. this is one of them.
ReplyDeleteI love Spike stories so much, and this one was fantastic! Some drawfriend needs to draw Spike in a head cone.
ReplyDeleteThis was an excellent story. I fought the urge to laugh until Celestia's scene. At that point, resistance was futile. Very fun and funny!
ReplyDelete"‘Neeiiiggghbours’"
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
A++++ would write again.
ReplyDeleteI like the while "Spike Sparkle" bit. Just the sort of awkward thing Twilight'd do.
Shoot, "would read again" not write. Sorry!
ReplyDeleteGreat story. I never laughed so hard in my life. Now I´m curious what Spike will do for his revenge when Twilight visits the dentist.
ReplyDeleteGlad it's come back, and, anonymous, there IS a sequel...
ReplyDeleteOh wow. Poor Twilight. Fantastic sequel, Midnight!
ReplyDeleteAnesthetized Twilight is best Twilight.
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteThat was amazing
can we have a mirror
ReplyDeleteOh wow, that was amazing. Anesthetized Twilight really IS best Twilight.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help notice the mention of a certain debilitating unicorn-specific disease, either.
Second one made me think of David After Dentist. X3
ReplyDeleteA new part?! OH HELL TO THE YES.
ReplyDeleteNow that was a surprising twist. I thought at first that Spike caught wind of his upcoming dentist visit mentioned in Part 1, and was trying to get Twilight out of commission so he wouldn't have to go.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I was expecting a David after dentist like scene, especially Twilight asking: "Spike?, is this real life?"
ReplyDelete"There are currently too many people viewing this document. Please try again later."
ReplyDeleteNO. GIMME MY PONIES NAO
*F5*
ReplyDeleteThere are currently too many people viewing this document. Please try again later.
*F5*
There are currently too many people viewing this document. Please try again later.
*F5*
There are currently too many people viewing this document. Please try again later.
etc etc
Wow, that was hilarious! I love this kind of fanfic. Awesome job, Midnight!
ReplyDeleteThere are currently too many people viewing this document. Please try again later.
ReplyDelete...So awesome...can't stop laughing...curse you Midnight...
ReplyDeleteStill five stars. The second one didn't really catch me until Rarity's spell, and then it was just a laugh riot!
ReplyDeleteColgate's a dentist? Well duh, it's so obvious now in retrospect that I can't imagine why I hadn't seen that before!
ReplyDeletei can't stop laughing! My god, this fic is awesome!
ReplyDeleteIs it bad i wanna be zapped by Rarity, too?
Too Funny! You've got a knack for comedy!
ReplyDeleteHAH, Loved it really funny!
ReplyDeleteI approve.
ReplyDeleteThough really, the 'Eats, shoots, and leaves' mention made me smile the most. :)
The shoots and leaves were a very nice touch. i dunno i loved the first but the second left me kinda meh ^^ still awesomes
ReplyDeleteheh. The ponies [and a certain dragon] in this town aren't just crazy, they're downright evil >:3
ReplyDeleteAfter browsing some fanfics, I half expected Spike ending somewhere dark and Twilight whimpering "I am so sorry, Spike, but my number was up. But I made a deal, you see. She never had dragon. I am sooo sorry!"
ReplyDeletePart 3 is missin a link, cap'n.
ReplyDeleteI ain't seeing a link to the new one... something wrong on my end, maybe?
ReplyDelete...Is this a teaser? XD
ReplyDeleteit's 1:30am. i should be in bed. just finished my final drawfriend piece (im quite proud of it) and yeah, I noticed the link is busted...If only there were some...method to summon a blogpony without the whole sacrificing a virgin.
ReplyDeleteYay now it's up! :D
ReplyDeleteps: gotta say thank you to the author of the "luna vs" for a very special guest-star and some editing help ;)
ReplyDeleteHah, poor Twilight! xD
ReplyDeleteI don't see a link. NOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteIgnore what I just said.
ReplyDeleteFantastic stuff!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I was also cracking up xD
ReplyDeleteLOL Princess Celestia is HILARIOUS. I love how it always said: "SECURITY!" xD
best story yet!
I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life.
ReplyDeleteThis is too confusing for me.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the last link it says ''onwards to part 2''
And there are two links for part one ''Calling the shots'' and ''up in the air''
And I couldn't download part three. I don't know why.
Ohh, this reminds me of my first flight ever. Just when my sister was telling me that turbulences had never happened to her, we hit a zone of turbulence. I believed in Murphy's law then.
ReplyDeletePart 3 was awesome!
ReplyDeleteLoved the special guest appearance of Abacus! And Twilight being Spike's "steed". The entire thing was made of pure win!
Can't wait for the next one!
I'm really not so sure that ponies in Equestria would have horseshoes nailed to their feet.
ReplyDeletehahaha brilliant story, made me lol fair few times :D
ReplyDeleteRead the 3rd one.
ReplyDeleteI see him getting neutered in his near future.
Also, Twilight is the living embodiment of my travel experiences.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteFor those wondering, "the business trip" will be in two parts - Twilight, Spike and the princesses are there for a reason...
@Midnight This is fantastic! Keep it up :)
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThe rule of funny, my friend :D
also, uh, yeah - she totally needs them in D'long Kerk. Because I said so.
HOW DID I NOT FIND THIS STORY UNTIL NOW?!
ReplyDeletePriceless, PRICELESS! Soooo funny I couldn't stop laughing. I swear to Celestia, Abacus NEEDS to be canon...only I'm afriad if they do, I don't know how people would handle such a thing. Too funny though, cannot wait for part two!
ReplyDeletepfhahahahhaha ...i loved it =))...Die Herd 2 ...lol....
ReplyDeleteAbacus NEEDS to become canon! I type this with hope in my heart, and an abacus in my lap!
ReplyDeleteyay!
Seriously, I have an abacus. Luna has consistently grown to be a favorite of mine. I love what the fandom has done to flesh out the little we have of her. When "Progress" came around though, and I read of Abacus for the first time, I was all dawwwww. When I saw the first art, I let out a man squee.
I actually collect vintage calculators, and an abacus happens to be part of my collection. I can't help but make Luna my favorite because of her dear, beloved Abacus!
Luna is best pony! For anyone who disagrees, she left you a nice vacant vacation spot up on a big grey dust ball in the sky!
Visions of the Luna dance are dancing away in my head, as Abacus' beads clack magically side to side in time with her cheerful bounce!
Why the complete tag if there is a part 2 for business trip on it's way?
ReplyDeleteAlso, when can we expect to see Spike riding his steed...
/)^3^(\
@richfiles
ReplyDeletewell, it WAS complete...
This keeps getting funnier and funnier. If Twilight hates traveling so far I bet she will despise the Dragon lands based on what has happened so far.
ReplyDeleteI had almost forgotten about that pic of Calestia with the Luna doll. Now Celestia has some awkward toy to go along with Luna's Abacus. How did so many writers let that piece of comedy gold slip by for so long? Both Abacus and Luna Doll must be cannon.
Parts 1 & 2 were good, but Part 3 is (so far) pure gold.
ReplyDeleteHow much more can Twilight take before she snaps and goes "Dark Phoenix" on the unsuspecting Dragon Kingdom?
ReplyDeletePlace your bets.
This one is even better than the other two.
ReplyDeleteMust have more!!!
http://myfacewhen.com/146/
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
And then I found Part 3.
ReplyDeleteWEE READING PROGRESS NOW WOO
This is what happens when Aperture Science is allowed to design an airplane.
ReplyDeleteWhen will this update?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeletePart 4/3b is well on it's way, but there are a couple of things I need to deal with first :)
OH GOD!!!
ReplyDeletePoor Twilight!!!
also... just about died at "Hey, hey, Monster Lady. Got any Dung?"
I loved how she redecorated the hotel though!
I FEAR for the sanity of Equestria. Trollestia, you are such a troll. You better get back to your deal land and resume your position soon. Not sure how much more of THAT pony Equestria can handle! You might as well have just handed Equestria's reigns to Discord!
And Twilight... I feel so bad for her. Nopony told or warned her of ANYTHING that was going to go down there. I certainly wouldn't want to be stuck in a place where everypony is looked upon as an animal. I actually really feel bad for her... Besides... she couldn't possibly stay, she's part of Equestria's national defense system. Dem Elements and all.
This story is hilarious, but I want to wring the life out of some of those dragon's necks like Jabba the Freaking Hutt!!! (Hey, it was fresh in my mind... I just marathoned the entire Star Wars original trilogy yesterday... on RCA SelectaVision discs. Look it up. Vinyl records that hold video. They are so freaking old school, and way better than that re-released garbage... HANS SHOT FIRST)
ARGHHH!!! ^^^ HAN SHOT FIRST
ReplyDeleteStupid typing at 5:57 AM.
Seth Y U drive me to insomnia with poni???
Midnight Shadow finally updated calling the shots! I've been waiting for this since *before* you were on Bronyville, man! I thought this was never gunna happen! :D
ReplyDeleteNow, I am going to settle in and read this instead of my homework. ;)
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI feel a little bad for you, Macon. I read the first three chapters yesterday, and then I went to bed, and then there was a brand new totally awesome chapter when I woke up this morning.
But wait... that means I'll probably have to wait months for the next chapter... nooo! ;-)
In anycase, a brilliant set of stories, each chapter better and funnier than the last.
Yours,
JMH
Oh my. These are all brilliant works. Just... all of the detail that went into describing each scene and scenario is amazing, and it's great to see the two royal sisters just acting like... well, sisters.
ReplyDeleteAlso... I'm a little worried about how Equestria is going to cope with the two new alicorns. Why did Tia want Discord stopped if she was going to do this anyway?
Oh, wow. The last chapter went in a... Different direction than I could have anticipated xD.
ReplyDeleteSpike will have to watch his words Very, Very carefully. Not to mention when he reaches into his "teenage dragon" years. (A hundred years from then? xD) Otherwise, I'm sure a flaming Twilight will make certain he regrets it.
I really love how assertive Twi is though, even against the Princesses. (Who act hilariously. I would say out of character, but honestly. How often do they get to 'just play'? No ponies around, except for Twilight whom they both trust. )
Man, I hope life will be easier on you this month author. Now I can't Wait to see what comes next xD.
I suppose that only Pinkie as a princess was the only thing that really felt badly placed. As someone else said, they could just as well have placed Discord in charge. I don't think even Trollestia hates her subjects That badly.
Yeah, I don't think Pinkie would make a good leader. Amusing, yes, but not good. Applejack would probably have been a much better choice
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think Pinkie would make a good leader. Amusing, yes, but not good. Applejack would probably have been a much better choice
ReplyDelete@Lucid
ReplyDeleteI actually figured my way through this. Applejack, I reasoned, would never leave her family hanging. Rainbow Dash would rather just hang out with the Wonderbolts. Fluttershy? Well, asking the sun ever so politely wouldn't probably work that well... :D
Besides, Pinklestia is so much fun to write :P
I loved the History of the World Part 1 references you made in the latest chapter.
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading.
ReplyDeleteOH.
MY.
GOD.
Amazing, simply ... simply amazing! I had a huge grin over my face during the first and second, the third made me laugh a few times, but I almost fell off my chair in the third! Simply brilliant! Making Rarity and Pinkie Pie the new rulers of Equestria was comedicly brilliant haha, I'm dying for the next chapter!
So..."I just redecorated incendiarily (is that even a word?) is now my new catchphrase.
ReplyDeleteI love this fic. Laughed my butt off.
Its brilliant... its absolutely brilliant.
ReplyDeleteChapter 1?pretty damn funny. Chapter 2? That was great too, very clever, all around good.
Chapter 3, parts 1 & 2?
My face hurts from smiling. Its just so wonderful. the last scene with Quincy and Twi... The fact that you actually used so many horse related terms and practices. Your twilight is superb, Luna and Tia are cute, and damn if the bit with pinkie and the sun clapper wasn't one of the most incredible things I've had the pleasure to read.
I'm just gunna go re-inflate my laughed out lungs and eagerly wait a new chapter now.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYeah...I don't see Twilight ever being told when to breed by Spike. The older sister/younger brother thing would probably get in the way of that. Otherwise, very funny stories. Sun goddess Pinkie and Moon goddess Rarity are brilliant.
ReplyDelete*low displeased rumble at the dragons* Such indescribable arrogance, lackadaisical, fool-hardy; always these dragons think themselves gods because they hold a few splinter realms. They must be humbled, as have many other dragons since ages past; since Ancalagon the Black in the First Age.
ReplyDelete*Great humorous tales, by the way. I just hate dragons who think too much of themselves just because they're big, fat, and old! The Q shall have to teach them what's up! Being able to mold reality like putty is rather the Alpha and Omega of abilities, after all.*
Yeah. I really chafe at Q's detached (if affectionate and well intentioned) attitude toward the ponies. One sentient being not viewing another as their equals as lifeforms just because they are a different species... That is not how you treat someone you love. By breeding them as a hobby. I seriously can't enjoy this story anymore. I'm sorry.
ReplyDelete....I want Twilight to go ballistic and like,...rip out quincy's eyes and force him to eat them. so much. way to write a hate-able character.
ReplyDeleteI too struggle a bit with this chapter. Especially since you make it sound as if Twilight has no choice in the matter. And you can only be harsh on Twi for so long before it stops being funny.
ReplyDeleteDPV111 and Baree basically sum up my issues with the story which I expressed in the FIMfiction comments. I still enjoy it but both of those issues definitely detract from my enjoyment.
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting for Twilight to snap yet again. The hotel was beautiful. "But Twilight, you like hay." "But it was the way they gave it to me."
ReplyDeleteI remember reading the earlier chapters. They were hilarious. I'm glad the author is doing more.
ReplyDeleteI'm being too mean to Twilight? ...well you know what THAT means, don't you? :>
ReplyDeleteYyyyeah, great story but the "Twilight is the buttmonkey" aspect of things is being played up just a little too much....
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOops. Wrong version.
ReplyDeleteAnyway. That whole scene I was just waiting for Twi to say one thing I wanted to hear:
"Power beyond the twilight and crimson blood that flows. Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand, against the mighty gift bestowed to my unworthy hand. Dragon SLAVE!!!!"
@DPV111
ReplyDeleteHit him with a kame-hame-ha!
Or FIRE YOUR LAZER, TWILIGHT!!
Nothing can defeat the lazer. Nothing.
@Alondro
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/wI9n-eLcaCU?t=15s
Sweet merciful God! Pinkie's in charge of the Sun!! Why not just un-stone Discord while your at it.
ReplyDeleteAt least Moon Princess Rarity has finally gotten her revenge on Blueblood.
Hillarious as all get out but the Twilight breeding/hobby thing went down a creepy turn.
Other than that keep up the good work.
While I don't like how unbelievably arrogant everyone is to Twilight either, consider this. It's really just the situation reversed. Spike is treated like a glorified pet, and is more or less the buttmonkey of FiM.
ReplyDeleteNow they're in a world where HE is BAUSS, and Twilight is the glorified pet.
@TT
ReplyDeleteDoesn't change the fact that any of the indignity Spike goes through is not only tongue in cheek but also more due to the fact he is a CHILD than a different species.
The way the ponies are viewed by the dragons is oppressive.
“WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER! SPEAK NOW, MORTALS OR FEEL THE FLESH RIPPED FROM YOUR BONES! THE BLOOD BOILED IN YOUR VEINS! THE-
ReplyDelete“Quincy!” called out Celestia, covering her muzzle with a hoof and laughing as Twilight quietly christened the doormat.
Did Twilight...just piss herself?
Okay, this is turning into an un-enjoyable cluster of WTF for me. I don't like whre it's going. I enjoyed the first two chapters, but now it's getting too weird.
ReplyDeleteThe madness, I saw it !
ReplyDeletePRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE
ReplyDelete@Midnight Shadow
ReplyDeleteAny chance of more adventures in the Draconic Realms? I just spent two hours trying to remember what this story was called.