Author: Krypqe
Description: Pinkie Pie is gone, Vanished, in the dead of night. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is on the verge of losing Two more of her closest friends, as she learns of the complications of a Love triangle, even if she doesn't realise yet...With a Heavy Heart Part 1
With a Heavy Heart Part 2
With a Heavy Heart Part 3
With a Heavy Heart Part 4
With a Heavy Heart Part 5
With a Heavy Heart Part 6
With a Heavy Heart Interlude
With a Heavy Heart Part 7
With a Heavy Heart Part 8 (New!)
Additional Tags: Love Triangle, Mystery, Confusion, Self-Discovery.
141 kommentaari:
Confusion...indeed!
VastaKustuta... I sense a disturbance in the pony force...
VastaKustutaI am intrigued...
VastaKustutaYou may continue.
Labels: Incomplete
VastaKustutaFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
~Scratch
I am very interested. Please finish this story! Great dialogue so far! Seems very natural. Also i liked how you described the setting, it let my mind come up with great imagery while the ponies spoke.
VastaKustutaI really liked how you made Rainbow Dash keep up her cool persona like that.
VastaKustutaGreat Story, can't wait for more!
That image of Dash makes me feel... a little strange.
VastaKustutawhat's the triangle?
VastaKustutaI don't want to read until I know.
It has happened to me, reading Dash shipping stories, and suddenly, straight RD.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaoh, I wouldn't like that. I find Dash to be the cutest with Pinkie.
Her in a straight relationship doesn't really work for me.
Did Twilight accidentally stab Dash?
VastaKustutaCuz the gash in her head...
She fell onto Twilight...
Your writing style is very good for that setting, I only hope that when you get to a less tense or slower paced scene that you really flush out the situation more. Also the implications of anon just above this seem to be correct, which is QUITE a quandary I'd say.
VastaKustutaI like it, better than most I see on here, can't wait for more.
VastaKustutaBad spacing. I'm sure it's fairly well-written, though. 3:
VastaKustutaPardon me, everyone, but which was the fanfic that began with Equestria in the middle of a drought and Rainbow Dash struggling to send scarce rain to some areas?
VastaKustutaSaid story was not written as well as I had hoped, but it gets bonus points for saying "hoofed the bill". Classic.
VastaKustutaI can't wait for more! :D
VastaKustutanice pic
VastaKustutaOh, a triangle love story?
VastaKustutaFunny, I always expected something involving Pinkie and Applejack fighting over RD.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaStraight Rainbow Dash?
What are you on, Bro?
I'm gonna throw this out there; She's not gonna be straight.
That's a definite.
can't wait to see chapter 2!!!
VastaKustutaEagerly waiting on chapter 2
VastaKustutaARRRGH I NEED PART THREE ALREADY!!!
VastaKustutaEnjoy it so far ;)
VastaKustutaLike the idea of showing our beloved ponies in a little more realistic, grim light, presenting their feelings without the cotton-candy wrapping or other sugary additions. You can actualy sense LUST in here, and that is so wrong in a perfect way, If anypony follow me here x) I can't wait to see more of this, and read about Drunken Twilight being Snappy, Rainbow being even more confused and WTH is happening to Pinks.
Keep it up!
Eagerly waiting on chapter 3
VastaKustutaI really like this one. I really want the next chapter already! :o
VastaKustutaStupid sexy Twilight
VastaKustuta@9Nine9
VastaKustutaAnd you kept up this tense pacing with constant realizations and very in-character thought patterns. The setting is dark; literally and even figuratively, as I imagine the dark library and these two thinking and realizing their thoughts and erros of that night, it all fits together to make a very high-pressure situation, even if nothing is happening physically.
I look forward to your writing.
Also please indent your paragraphs, or perhaps put a blank line between paragraphs. The formatting is fairly annoying.
I CANNOT read it in that format. I'm on my knees. PLEASE indent.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaBut I hate indenting...
>Plus, we don't really indent over in England; It's kind of an Arcane practice.
I can try and space it out more, if that's what everypony wants, and if it doesn't fracture the flow of the prose too much; but Indenting? I say neigh to that.
Innntresting tale, chap!
VastaKustutaPost moar!
Really good story so far... though I think in a few instances it may tend to go a little too far in describing certain things. It can be hard to find that balance between being too descriptive of a scene and not quite descriptive enough, and I think this may veer into the latter cateogry every so often.
VastaKustutaOtherwise, though, very interesting so far. Though I'm not sure I like the idea of Rainbow having a "friends with benefits" arrangement (which is the impression I got from her description). Yeah, she's impulsive and seems like a bit of a partier, but I hope she genuinely would like to care about someone she's with as opposed to just booty calls or whatever.
@krypqe: Indenting is still used in a lot of places to denote a new paragraph or train of thought. It makes it far more readable, trust me. Another thing I can say is that I got lost very quickly as to who was saying what. Unless it's established that it's a conversation between two people, the dialogue can become very hard to figure out who is saying what to whom.
VastaKustutaHowever, past all that, it is a very nice story. Keep it up!
Shipping, but also sad.
VastaKustutaDon't know if want. >_>
Update quicker, this story is really good.
VastaKustutaGosh, this is really oddly well written. Such a somber tone and well set, emotions overflowing and well within character. This is just well done, even with single-paragraph sentences. It's too odd of a style to not like as far as I see it.
VastaKustutaYay! This sory just starts to be very intresting and intim. I love the Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash Shipping stories.
VastaKustutaWHERE THE FUCK IS PART 4
VastaKustutaDO IT NOW!!! >:L
it kinda gives you the feeling that your reading a edgar allan poe story or something. but all in all awesome story.
VastaKustutapleeeeeese part 4?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI CONCUR!
MOARRRRR
VastaKustutaSeriously, this is really good stuff.
Would be nice to have an ETA on part 4 :[
VastaKustutaIs it getting hot in here or is it just me?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaIt's in the works, bro.
The whole chapter is planned out, and I'm part the way through writing it.
But I'm not a machine, bro, give a brony some time!
it's been a while, oh well...
VastaKustutaGUESS I'LL JUST HAVE READ IT ALL AGAIN! XD
Sorry to say, but I downgraded on this fic after last chapter - I like the story, I like Twilight and how she is portrayed, what I hate is very poorly (in my opinion, bear it in mind) written moments of intimacy. Like with the kissing in the tub - the same thought were reapeted there like three times, with the entire "became one" thing. I felt pain from reading these senteces and I was distorted and unable to enjoy the tension.
VastaKustutaSo sorry, but I Must SEE improvement in the lusty-intimacy sentences wording to enjoy it properly!
Loving the story so far, you always leave me questioning about what will happen next! It's pretty well written too imo. Part 5 please! =D
VastaKustutaThe last sentence of part 4 ruined it for me. SPOILER:I don't like Appledash.
VastaKustuta@Narwhals' Bend It is still entirely possible that she isn't that other filly. For all we know Dash might just want to talk to her for advice.
VastaKustutaSPOILER
VastaKustutaHuh, weird. All this foreshadowing with Pinkie Pie made me guess it was DashiePie. This was a throw off.
@fireant
VastaKustutaAh, I wondered whether this would come to contention...
Well; firstly, I'd like to thank you for the crit; It's impossible to know how to do better if nopony speaks their mind.
Anyway, ONWARD!
I can see why you'd dislike the repetition of a cheesy line such as 'becoming one...' but there is a perfectly good explanation for this: Throughout the story, (Especially in chapters 3+4) we see the dawning of Rainbow's insecurity; she absolutly has to be the coolest, and the best. Although this point is mentioned explicitly a couple of times, her insecurities are also portrayed through her need to latch on to things, especially reassuring, repetative phrases, others being: "It just wouldn't be cool." and "Play it cool"
The 'becoming one' idea was partly formed by this reason.
The other reason would be due to Rainbow's apparent lack of romantic knowledge; She's only had 'relations' one time before, and as we're told earlier in the story, It'd been unplanned and she'd been insecure. So much so that Rainbow has to refer to her as that other filly constantly, instead of her actual name, which Rainbow would do in any other situation.
Thus; we can deduce that Rainbow has a somewhat confused, childlike view of love and romance, which would lead her to believe in cheesy, clichéd ideals of love, like "Becoming one," and as she has not much else to base her view of romance on, she has to latch to the choise couple of things she actually knows.
Of course; If it really is that unbearably cheesy; I'll jumble it about a bit. After all, It's all well and good encoding ideas into a story, but the audience has to actually be able to read it...
Tell me what you think.
-Krypqe
Awesome job i can't wait for more
VastaKustuta@Narwhals' Bend... You serious? I honestly believe that's the best ship of the mane cast.
VastaKustutaAnyway, Author, what kind of books have you read? Every read Blood Meridian? Very famous book, bloody and violent and dark. Adult rated to holy hell for it's gore, but not that alone; it's descriptions and settings and everything about it is violent, dark, bloody. It's intense. I can't think of any other book where describing a sunset and the outlook of a desert from a dune would be called "bloody and violent."
This story honestly reminds me somewhat of that. It's incredibly intense, even when there isn't a lot happening besides "Twilight walked Rainbow Dash to her house and then they got in the bathtub together." It's powerful, emotional, and even if you don't have the soaring rhetoric that Blood Meridian has, that same passion and same intensity is still there. I love your style and I can't wait for more.
@krypqe
VastaKustutaGood response and clear some things a bit. I can truly understand that RD have a little childish (well, a lot, in fact) experiance and ways of describing a romantic situation. And this is not what was bothering me - I can read a cheesy line with a smile, because I know from WHERE the cheese came at the first place. Everypony knows that RD is the most verbally limited of all the ponies, a she can't deal with her emotions with words at all.
That is cool. That is why in the first comment in this series I posted was quite positive. I can still sense some serious lovin' and lust in here and that is great, especially in comparison to all standard sappy-mushy ships with cuddling and puppy love.
In fact, this senselessly long comment is here only to proclaim, that I personally HATE to read the same thing trice - I've got the idea of becoming one with just one telling of this happening ;) I don't know, maybe I am overy nitpicky with this, but it simply twitchin' me inside.
Don't You worry, I am still waiting and looking forward to next chapters. It's a good work of fiction, just in the last chapter I found this THING with constant repeating of a single thought too distracting.
:) Keep it up,
Appledash?
VastaKustutaNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaScrew you, any ship with Dash in it is awesome. Except OCs.
Gotta say, I like how you make DashxTwi and ApplexDash "accidents". It really fits. I can't imaging Rainbow building a relationship. But I can imagine her waking up in someone else's bed!
VastaKustutaIt's so addictive plus I'm a RainbowSparkle fan. I can't wait to read more.
VastaKustutaWhat a twist!
VastaKustuta@NinesTempest
VastaKustutaI've not read Blood Meridian, but now you've mentioned it, I'll give it a go, I'm intrigued!
(To be honest, any book which can have the complement of the word 'intense', I'd read. I like to be emotionally involved with what I read.)
My favourite author, by far is Iain Banks. He's bloody fantastic, and I've not read anything by him I didn't like. He does some sci-fi, but It's mostly just regular fiction, but with an 'Iain Banks' feel; I honestly couldn't describe it any other way... (Try reading 'Dead Air' and 'Transition')
Also; Khaled Hosseini's two novels are fantastically intense, but they'd also be adult rated. (Parts of 'The Kite Runner' left me speechless.) But they're fantastic.
Thanks for the kind review, by the way. It's much appreciated.
(And thank you for reading; You're awesome!)
---------
@fireant
Dude; Being overly nitpicky is better than being less so. Like I said, If nopony speaks up, how am I going to know whether to change things?
I'm going to lose one of the 'Becoming one's, and maybe alter the flow a tad, as It's evidently a bit of a problem.
Rest assured, I'll still keep some of the cheese. Rainbow's words and moves aren't that slick... :P
Cheers for reading.
-Krypqe
i do enjoy the cheese :3 BUT OMGWTFBBQ I NEED NUMBER 5 LIEK NOW OR I'LL EXPLODE GIMMIE THE RAINBOWSPARKLEJACKS
VastaKustutaI want an update of this ;w;
VastaKustutaAnother INTENSE chapter. Honestly, that is the ONLY way to describe these. Thick with feeling and emotion, actions and thoughts. Reflecting, while keeping ponies ridiculously in character. I get shivers reading this, and I have to take breaks. I defer, once again, to Blood Miridian. That book made everything seem violent and bloody. You are making something so short and simple turn into a huge thundering turmoil of thought and emotion and damnit it flows perfectly, just like that wonderful novel.
VastaKustutaNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Again! it ended waaay too quickly! i want to cry now! make more damnit! i need my fix!
VastaKustutaOh man, you're evil. Chapter 5 is just one big tease :P Very little gets resolved, instead we get only more questions. I can only hope the wait for chapter 6 won't be as long.
VastaKustuta>sleeps
VastaKustuta>wakes up
>still 4 stars
why.png? One of the best ship fics on the site gets so little attention...
Im a little confused about the story i know most of it .... up to know anyone wanna help me? if so put !!!!!!!!****SPOILER****!!!!!!!! in the comment.tbh its mainly part 5 thats confusing me a bit.
VastaKustuta(D4SHTH3R4INB0W)
Heya Everypony!
VastaKustutaI'd just like to say a thank you to you all for all the support and whatnot! It's really appreciated, and it keeps me going to no end! I'll do my best to get a new chapter up ASAP!
ILY All!
@Anonymous
Sure, bro!
What did you want explaining?
(I'm not quite sure what you're asking about...)
Dude, chapter five made me tear up.
VastaKustutaOh gawd, Twilight gave rainbow "painkillers" when shes been drinking. She should know better than that.
VastaKustutaChpt.6?
VastaKustutaT_T
@James
VastaKustutaSorry for the wait, bro.
I'd just like to say, before the next chapter goes up, that I'm really busy with real world stuff at the moment (Shocking, I know!) and whilst I'd like to get material out there ASAP, I wouldn't want to rush the writing and compromise the quality, or replace my life with pony fanfiction. (Which It's seemingly doing anyway!)
I hope this clears things up a tad!
@krypqe
VastaKustutaThanks for replying Krypqe, take as long as you need! I for one am checking this everyday anyway. Anyways, sorry if i made you feel bad, but don't even THINK of compromising or rushing! Though it seems whatever you dish out is awesome anyway.
Just gonna keep re-reading this. Always keeps me hooked, which is in itself an achievement.
this reminds me of 'everypony loves rainbow dash' only serious and sensible. and not everyone, of course. uhm. it's really well written and very emotional, uh, though it may go over my head sometimes. sorry. i like it though i haven't seen any repercussions from Pinkie Pie's disappearance. but it hasn't even been a single day yet, so ... i should probably not even post that part because i'm sure you're getting to it and all.
VastaKustutaone thing about this, the repetition. i use that myself when i write, though i don't post anywhere. too short, not good. anyway, i use repetition as a type of near-stream of consciousness thing. we repeat ourselves in our heads a lot and if i'm trying to show that something is coming out of a character's mind almost verbatim, i'll repeat things a lot. very rarely for emphasis but sometimes. i've never thought of it as annoying and i thought that was rather well done and thought out, to indicate that we were essentially inside of Rainbow Dash's thought process then.
but that's just me and i'm not a good reader or writer anyway. whatever you want to do is probably better than what i'd do anyway. sorry i can't think of anything better to say.
opps, forgot to take out that thing about Pinkie Pie. sorry! sorry ...
VastaKustutaAnother good chapter. I insist still that the style is unique and keeps the story VERY good and very powerful, and your perspective shifts help the readers guessing in a good way. You leave us with enough information of TS/AJ to know how they feel about RD, but you only give us so much of what RD sees that it DEFINITELY leaves us wanting more.
VastaKustutaIt's a good balance of information, and I still think you're hitting it spot on. I think, since adding Applejack, this is only going to get harder, but you're doing well.
So... when does Pinkie Pie get involved?
Another great chapter. Copy what NinesTempest said just above and paste it in this comment as well.
VastaKustutaI approve. This is starting to become quite the heart-twister.
VastaKustutaContinue please.
I love this fanfic. One of my favorites! Keep up the good work!
VastaKustutaPinky Pie in chapter 1... a weird and vague thing about her leaving for some unknown reasons, in a bland way...
VastaKustutaWhat's happening with her ?
...last chapter... Twilight's reaction was 'interesting', with the pillow, her way to realize that she's ''In Love''.
an amazing story!!, i feel really bd for apple jack though, bless her hooves
VastaKustutaThe picture of Dash at the top of this page is pretty much my face while reading this story.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaHAVE AT YOU
Firstly, I'd just like to say a massive 'Thankyou, you're fantastic!' to everypony who has read the story, and left me wonderful comments and ratings, you have no idea how much I value them!
VastaKustutaIf you have any questions, just ask, I'll do my best to answer them!
@Minalkra
Haha, I'd never made that connection before! (Everypony loves Rainbow Dash because she's so awesome!)
It's nice to see someponyelse who likes to use repetition within their writing! It really is how we think, huh?
(I try not to listen to my thought processes sometimes, though. The amount of random crap I think of is unparalleled!)
Also, don't be a silly filly! I was expecting the questioning of Pinkie Pie's appearance.
The main reason we've not seen any repercussions is because none of the characters we're currently following have encountered anything to do with Pinkie Pie, yet. So, It'd make sense for her not to be mentioned...
Also, you've thought of excellent things to say! Don't put yourself down!
I appreciate all the comments I get, each time I see a new one, I feel happy for the rest of the day!
@NinesTempest
Hehe, you're too kind, Nines!
>When does Pinkie Pie get involved?
Next update, bro.
(Thanks for commenting with every update, It's really appreciated!)
@Nova25
What's happening with her?
You'll have to wait and find out, I'm not giving that much away in the comments...
@Anonymous
You feel like the pic of Dash?
Is that the wingboner, or the feigned boredom?
But seriously, If you don't like it, that's fine. Maybe just tell me why, as I'd like to know.
I was never expecting this to appeal to everypony, as nothing ever does appeal to everypony.
@Anonymous
Also, you have no idea how much the "HAVE AT YOU" made me laugh.
Props to you, bro.
Once again, thanks to everypony for reading.
ILY all!
/longestcommentever
-Krypqe
I Just read the first part today as a "Bed time" story before I go to dream land. I will say this was a very well intro to your story. I can not wait to read more. Though now I need to sleep. For I need to wake up in 5 hours XD
VastaKustutaKeep up the gear writing my friend!
@krypqe
VastaKustutaIn regards to the Pinkie Pie mystery, hasn't it only been like a day in-story anyways?
@TenchiFreak5
VastaKustutaYeah, the story started in the evening of the night before, and now it's merely the next morning.
So really, it only seems like a really long time becasue of how much I've written/how long it's taken me to do so.
@Krypqe well i havn't read over in a while so basicly ..... i know about between twilight and rainbow but the part with dash and applejack just confused me
VastaKustuta-D4SHTH3R4INB0W
Y DUS IT TAEK SOOOOO LOOOOOONGGGG T_T
VastaKustutaI think I'm going to start writing a fanfic for this fanfic, I'm going to go into overdrive if i can't read good shipping, and IMO, yours is the best. Or a huge pisstake , i dunno.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaLook, dude, I can hardly explain all motive and reasoning behind the story here.
Just drop me an email at krypqe@derpymail.com with perhaps a little more detail and then maybe I can help.
@James
It takes so long because I'm a terrible, terrible person.
I was going to include a list of reasons why it's been so long, but for the most part, it'd just be bad excuses trying to cover up how utterly lazy I am...
Wow, I'm really flattered!
I'm flattered that you even think mine's the best, let alone wanting to write a fanfic for my fanfic! (Fanfiception... :P)
Ah, the reason I'm replying now, is that there should be an update very, very soon! (AKA: I've sent the update to Seth!)
-Krypqe
@AnonymousPART SEVEN NOOOOOOOOW
VastaKustutaIt goes so well with the current banner.
VastaKustutaWOOOO NEW PART!
VastaKustutaXD
The delay of Pinkie Pie evidence perturbs me.
VastaKustutaYa'know, I still think this should be six stars.
VastaKustutaOh well...
The last two chapters seem to have lost some of the... I don't know... The previous chapters seemed "real", I'm not sure how to describe it. There was a raw core essence there that really worked. I see that vibe slipping a bit though.
VastaKustutaNevertheless, still a good read. Especially the relation between Ms Cake and Pinkie. That still had that vibe I mentioned. And perhaps next chapter we will find out what is going on with Pinkie exactly.
And so it begins.
VastaKustutaCopy what NineTempest said immediately above and paste it here (again). WHY U NO 6-Star?
I demand more :3
VastaKustutaHa ha, I just noticed this matches the new banner.
VastaKustutaDecided I would make a blogger account so I could start commenting on this site. Congrats krypqe, you have the honour of inspiring my first comment! ;D
Twas a great read so far, really enjoying how the emotions between the characters are playing out. Never thought ponies would make me sit up and notice fanfics. xD
And also, wooh Britfag Brony! *high fives*
Reporting a typo I found, when Rainbow Dash was thinking in her room, around middle part: 'relationship' was written as 'relation ship'
VastaKustutaReally like it so far, altough Twilight seems a tiny bit too naive some times, I think.
Amazing. Probably one of my favorite fics. But the end of chapter 7? So much suspense!! Need.. chapter.. 8
VastaKustutaThis is my favorite fic on this entire site!! I normally dont like shipping fics either. Everytime i check EqD i hope to see an update from you!
VastaKustutaRead it at 3 in the morning. Loved it.
VastaKustutaRead it with a group of friends in the common room the next morning. We all loved it.
Oh Celestia, you guys, man.
VastaKustutaMy heart is fucking melting, you're all so wonderful, I just don't know what else to say!
I'll just endeavor to get Chapter Eight as soon as possible!
@SoulSilver IV
Brit-Brony-Bro-Hoof!
I feel honored with your first comment!
@Baree
Yo, I can kind of see where you're coming from with the "slipping vibe" I'll do my best to pull it back!
(Thank you for actually coming out and saying it! Some ponies would be too worried about hurting somepony's feelings!)
@Anonymous
You read it with other friends in a common room?!
That sounds awesome!
I'm so glad you all loved it!
<3
You really like the word "Morose", don't you?
VastaKustutaStill, great story, looking forward to future installments! Pretty deep, and the cliffhanger endings are a bit cheap, but they always leave me wanting to finish just one more chapter. I couldn't put it down!
Oh man, this is one of the best fanfics I have ever read. I mean, there are a few quirks here and there, but they are small, the the excellence of this story is large. I have to admit that I have this page bookmarked and I check it daily for updates. Keep up the fantastic work!
VastaKustuta^Like he said. I've only encountered one grammar mistake (which for a fanfic is well, unheard of, and it was you writing "in" instead of "it"). The pacing is amazing, the way you go through each ponies individual though process....PLEASE. I HAVE TO READ MORE.
VastaKustutaYes! Need more! I hope you haven't forgotten about your story! ;]
VastaKustutaDon't rush your work, but know we're still excited to read your next chapter.
VastaKustuta--Previous Anon who reads in his dorm common room.
UPDATE THIS GODDAMN YOU
VastaKustutaTHIS ^
VastaKustutaWell, everypony, thank you so much for all the motivation and kindness you've given me, but I'm afraid I have a confession to make.
VastaKustutaI'm going AFK for a month. A whole Month.
This is not abandonment of this story, I will finish writing it! That's a promise!
I'll see you all when I'm back...
-Krypqe
HAAAH AHAHAHAHAHA
VastaKustuta@ Krypqe- Well, you better do good on that promise, mister. I came here to post an obituary for this.
VastaKustutaThis is probably one of the best fanfics I've ever read.
Well, see you in September.
VastaKustutaThere are now six people in this common room waiting for ya.
--Common Room Anon (Yes, from before. I have you bookmarked.)
Update or ill suicide and respawn! =o
VastaKustutaWhy oh why do I read unfinished fics ಠ_ಠ
VastaKustutaI'm enjoying what you have thus far (as of post part 7), the scene is set for quite the fic and other than saying keep it up and I like what you have I'll leave most of my judgement until you complete it for now ;)
Alrighty then, it's the 27th! NOW GET TO FINISHING THIS DAMN YOU! :P
VastaKustutaWHERE DID THIS FIC GO
VastaKustuta@NinesTempest
VastaKustutaKryqe said on his dA that he's typing it up right now. *squee*
Oh, I was in an IRC with him when I posted that comment.
VastaKustutaJust a little trollin'
can has continuation?
VastaKustutaOh my god. Its back!
VastaKustutaKryqe i love you
VastaKustutaThought you'd abandoned the story.
VastaKustutaAn update!?
VastaKustutaAN UPDATE! I was afraid this had gone dead.
^^ As above, i was scared this had died. Dammit.. It's one of the best long going stories going!! I Need Moar!!!
VastaKustutaReally well written, but depressing as fuck...
VastaKustutaWow, great to see this story back online. This and Rose-Tinted are some of the the most emotional and heartbreaking stories I've ever read, and Rose-Tinted has been abandoned. I was afraid this one would die too. Keep up the good work!
VastaKustutaWe're glad to see you back.
VastaKustutaYou seem a bit off-model, metaphorically, after your month long break.
Still, looking forward to Part 9.
--Common Room Bronies.
You seem to be putting quite a bit of effort into this story, but I can't help but notice that the latest chapter (number 8) doesn't quite seem to match the quality of the previous ones. One minor thing that bothered me is the lady Cake's crying. You attempt to describe it several times throughout the chapter yet you manage to use the wrong words every single time. 'Tumbled'? Tumbling tears? Really?
VastaKustutagah this is the same thing that happened with out of the blue its been so long i cant remember the story at all
VastaKustutaAt LAST this one got updated!!
VastaKustuta@rob
VastaKustutaHey, don't you dare compare me to him.
He was on vacation in places without internet for like two months.
I'm a lazy asshole.
This one was utterly awesome. Dunno who said the last chapter was worse than the others, I loved it.
VastaKustutaYou know, I never really cared for fanfics, but this one was one of the first I've started reading EVER, and it got me in reading fanfics. And still it's one of the best I've ever read. I want more! :3
...You'd be surprised how long we're willing to wait for the next installment of this. When is the next one coming?
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaI agree with onstar-ranger, I am waiting oh so much for the next part, I just love it.
VastaKustutaOh my Celestia this is so damn good! I need moar!
VastaKustutaKrypke where the hay are you!?
VastaKustutarubber, dub, dub... two mares in a tub :3
VastaKustuta