Author: Achesst
Description: The main cast must decide who to bring with them to the Grand Galloping GalaThe Mane Event
The Mane Event Part 2
The Mane Event Part 3
The Mane Event Part 4 (New!)
Additional Tags: Talking, fan-based Twilight adventure, Lots of "other" characters mentioned
62 comments:
I like how Derpy is portrayed.
ReplyDeleteSo the Gala episode airs on May 26th? I need to mark my calendar.
ReplyDelete>mfw Derpy and Dinky
ReplyDeleteI feel this is the perfect time to ask this. In The Ticket Master episode, at the end when each pony got a ticket, they didn't have to physically touch the ticket. It just floated in front of them. Was that Twilight's doing? Are the tickets themselves magic? Are they magically bound to the owner? Or can anypony use magic?
ReplyDeleteWhen the ticket is claimed it sticks to them magically, there is no way to lose it or have someone steal it. So if Dinky claims the tickets and Twilight was accepting of the exchange then the tickets officially belong to her now.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing they're magic tickets. It seems appropriate for an event as swanky as the gala.
ReplyDeleteAlso, cool to see some casual shipping of a pair we only see occasionally. I'm talking of course about Rainbow Dash/Angel.
Good lord, everypony's straight. Even Rainbow Dash! What is this nightmare world?
ReplyDeleteBut in all seriousness, this is awesome, and you must continue it. I can't wait.
This is a really great story! I thought it was really humorous and cute. I caught myself smile when Twilight gave Applejack the ticket, Oh Twilight! You're such a silly pony!
ReplyDeleteThen the ending with Derpy and Dinky. Well, That was just precious. I love it.
Okay, I am just loving this fic. I love how Pinkie is with Blues, I love the humor of Twilight getting weirded out by Applejack and Big Mac, I love the little quest-thing Twilight's on to find Trixie. And most of all...I LOVE DERPY AND DINKY!
ReplyDelete*squees* I loved the interaction between Twilight and Dinky, and how this Derpy isn't completely random in her speech like every other fic I've read with her as a mom. I just love it love it love it! I can't wait until the next chapter!
not bad, but after Twilight goes to sleep the entire thing seems rushed to its conclusion
ReplyDeleteGiving 2 Extra-tickets to Derpy and Dinky, I see ?
ReplyDelete...I SHALL HUG YOU TO DEATH :D !
What a lovely idea to give them the tickets, really. :)
You sir (or madam?) just earned a Mana Cookie!
..also... The progression in the story is going on quite nicely. It's simply interesting, yes.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteEverything points toward a second part, at the very least...
So, it's not really ''rushed'' (like people are so quick to claim), but it like just ''slow down'' so it could restart more easily at the Next Part.
I would say.
I'm quite sure the names were a bit misspelled in the end.
ReplyDeleteSince Dinky became "Ditzy" a few times, back and forth.
@Kim
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed that. Thank you.
Steven Magnet!? Le gasp!
ReplyDeleteAnother great chapter! I like what's being done with Trixie in this fic. Most stories make her kinda...angsty, to put it kindly, so having her rather happy and chipper like this is really nice.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@achesst
ReplyDeleteThat's strange... Did part 1 got extanded or something ?
Last time I read it it ended soon after the Derpy-Dinky part, and also I don't remember reading about ''Steven'' back then ?
EDIT : ahhhh, okkkk... You added Part2 to the link of Part1, while having a separate link for Part2 alone...
Hum ? ok ?
Oh wow, the Gala episode is on the 26th? That's my birthday!
ReplyDeleteOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVAR!
The 26th is a thursday, people. Seth was just saying that it's the 26th episode of the season.
ReplyDeleteAnd to the author: Oh, you ship teaser, you. First you had me thinking Twilight/Trixie, and now Twilight doesn't swing that way? Or are you just messing with our head and they'll find romance at the gala? In either case, I look forward to the next part
Oh man, I just love how you wrote Steven. He should really show up in more fics.
ReplyDeleteyay new part is up¡¡
ReplyDeleteOh man, chapter 3 is the best one yet, by far. The first two were fun to read, but this one is in a league of its own. I hope you can keep it up for the next chapter.
ReplyDeletethe identity of Dash's mystery date...so much suspense!
ReplyDeleteAlso, im hoping your not going to keep up the apple family incest implications. It's a dirty stereotype to lodge against the best pony just because she's southern and a farmer. But you wouldn't do that... can't wait for that little gem of a social booby-trap to be sprung on twilight.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI guarantee you it has little to do with her being southern. If it exists, it will be shipped.
About Applejack with Big Mac
ReplyDeleteObviously she did bring him to help with the bussiness at the gala
Rainbow Dash Date
Cant wait to know >w<
I kinda got upset at Twilight giving her dress to Trixie, and i was Expecting a reaction from Rarity about that, i mean, she designed it for Twilight and no on else and i was hoping for Trixie to bring up what Rarity said about her wearing one of her dresses
Do i osund like a fanboy now? :P
And about Derpy and Dinky, i just LOVE how you portrayed them, they are just LOVELY!!
Just today I read all three chapters and I have to say I love it! After reviewing Transformer Fan fiction for a while I tried to stay away from all fan fiction. But this is making me reconsider. This is a very well written fan fiction in which I believe most characters are staying in character, maybe with the Exception of Trixie, but then again who knows we only saw her for one episode.
ReplyDeleteI like story in general. And cant wait to see what happens next. :D Great work.
Why did you feel the need to change Derpy into Ditzy? You already established her as Derpy, and Ditzy and Derpy are two different ponies.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI decided that I wanted Ditzy to be her real name. Twilight just forgot because everyone always called her Derpy (a nickname which she hates), she was referred to as Derpy until Twilight remembered.
Probably unnecessary, like you said, but I like it.
Loved it. Sweet writing, good pace of actions and great Characters - Twilight is so adorable here, that my Love for her only grow stronger with each chapter. And Trixie? She. Is. Shweeeet.
ReplyDeleteBut It also irked me, that Rarity do not repond to Trixie wearing a dress that was designed for Twilight specificaly, especially after her outburst on "Trixie Will Not Wear Rarity's Dresses".
But all in all, top notch, looking forward for next chapter ;)
Not really a fan of Trixie x Twilight--and man, it bothers me that Twilight gave her that dress! But it's well-written and I'm very interested to see where it goes from here.
ReplyDeleteI expected Dash to be going with Big Mac, but they didn't acknowledge each other. So my new guess is a Wonderbolt. Or Pinkie and she just didn't want to admit it.
Oh lord, was that a Monty Python reference during Twi's argument with Spike?
ReplyDeleteMarvellous as usual :)
I kinda thought it would've gone better if Rarity surprises Trixie by giving her a new dress in the morning of the Gala, and Twilight can wear her awesome and dazzling dress.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteactually, I was sort of expecting that too, it seems like an obvious solution that the element of generosity would fold and give her a dress. especially after seeing twilight not wearing her dress.
>Google Docs Error: Too many people currently viewing this page
ReplyDeleteFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFILLYFOOLER!
Same here display name.
ReplyDeletecongrats Achesst, you maxed out google docs, that means it has got to be good.
I can't sleep till i know who rainbow dash's secret date was.
It was an awesome story, but i think Rarity would have given Trixie a dress anyways
ReplyDeleteI just want to ask
What do you have against Rarity? :C
Btw loved the Applejack awkward moment <3
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!
ReplyDeleteLoved it.
Its so refreshing to read a story where dash doesn't have to be the token filly-fooler.
I hope you write a sequal about Twilight, trixie, rarity, and the prince and all the akwdardness that could ensue.
But poor, AJ. My favorite pony with no one to dance too, C'est la vie
That last chapter wrapped everything up nicely. I'm torn now - on one hand I want to see new chapters, on the other this chapter would have ended the story perfectly, so not sure where you are going with this now. I'm confident though that what you come up with will be good.
ReplyDeleteI liked it a lot! A lot of unusual pairings, and the characters felt believable. (Also frankly I'm thrilled to see a fic where Twilight and Trixie both show up and they don't end up together). Great work!
ReplyDeleteAWW AJ, I'll always be interested in you, you are my favourite after all, that aside I loved it, especially with Colonel Colt and Dash break dancing during a waltz lol now I have to find someone who can break dance and put a waltz on while they're doing it just to say that I've seen that happen haha.
ReplyDeleteThat was really good, probably my favorite fic or at the very least in my top three. The characters fitted very nicely although I'm not sure if I should feel bad for Rarity at the end there considering who she was interested in is now interested in Twilight. Overall I had a great time reading this and even started to slow down my reading towards the end just so it would last longer.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I think I forgot to tell Seth properly, but part four is the last part for this story. I might come back to it later as a different story, but with the Gala over, "The Mane Event" is finished.
ReplyDeleteAlso, just to stop any rumors before they get out of hand: Rarity is actually my favorite pony. I just needed her to be a bit hard-hearted to make things tie together. Despite being the element of Generosity, I think she could hold a grudge well enough too.
@zorinlynx
ReplyDeleteDammit.... im looking forward to that more than any game or movie release :S
Being a brony changes you man.....
I knew it! I KNEW Rainbow Dash had a Wonderbolt!
ReplyDeleteSqueeeeeee!
Hmm. I'm slightly confused. I take it its not over yet, though it sorta feels that way?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I feel sorry for AJ... Not sure how realistic it is either.
There really hasn't been any shipping yet...
ReplyDeleteBEST STORY EVER!
ReplyDeleteI just marathoned it, parts 1-4 and I love love LOVE this story! It made my heart happy and it made me smile like a retard. I loved Derpy in this one, as well as the dynamic between Trixie and Twilight. I also thought the side stories with Applejack and Rainbow Dash were quite interesting.
That letter to Princess Celestia at the end, I think, was even better than the ones on the show! It almost made me cry with joy.
I may be overreacting a bit, but words cannot even express how happy this story made me. I was quite down in the dumps earlier today but now I have hope for humanity.
To the author of this story: you made my day 20% cooler.
PS I never read fanfics for this long. I spent a couple hours reading this. And it was so worth it.
Hahaha Im only part way throught the second chapter and already I gotta say I found it cute when you added in Ditzy Doo and I love how you did Zakura's speech, well done!
ReplyDeleteHey, you got Astron in my Twixie!
ReplyDeleteVery enjoyable!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see some balanced pairing, not only between characters, but in the impressions of those around them. It continues to impress me that many writers in this community can do so much with (comparatively) so little, especially with respect to hetero interaction. Kudos.
good show sirrah, have an internet.
ReplyDelete"I don't know...turn me into a newt or something?"
ReplyDelete"A newt?"
...I got better.
(Methinks the author is a Monty Python fan?)
Haha! And now my entire story is completely wrong. :) So glad I finished before the Gala episode.
ReplyDeleteWe can assume Astron is a nice guy, unlike Blue Blood =).
ReplyDeleteWait a minute! Why is Rainbow Dash going out with a guy? That makes no sense!
ReplyDeleteThat was truly magnificent. Fantastic. Tanfastic. Amazing. Great. Awesome. Wonderful. Beautiful. Even though we all know that the gala went differently, somehow I imagine this to be true as well, as if this is the following year's gala.
ReplyDeleteEveryone being straight (except for maybe well trixie) was a nice touch. It just made the whole story feel wholesome and heartwarming. ToonNinja's a douche. Hetero dash? --> I'm ok with this.
Only one thing though, why did no one want to dance with applejack :( I woulda nabbed her in a second. If I was a pony. And in Equestria. And at the gala. If the gala was real. If equestria was real. If applejack was real. You get the idea.
God, I would prefer this over the actual Gala! I mean, the original was kind of boring, save for Angryshy and random humor.
ReplyDeleteBut this, this adds so much more to the atmosphere, making it feel like what it should actually have been. Granted, I doubt that there would actually be such sweet and awesome dancing at a sophisticated event, but... it would have been a great touch.
Just finished reading in its entirety, wonderful job. This 'alternate' Gala was very believable.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I had a bit of a hitch over was Rarity. And its not even about the dress issue, I could see her holding a bit of a grudge easily enough, her vanity IS one of her 'flaws', you could say (that's what makes her a good character!)
It was during the dances, where she was snubbing everyone for a chance at Aston. Aston points out to Twilight that Spike is being kind and giving everyone a chance at a dance, while Rarity (who embodies the element of generosity) is being selfish.
I guess it was the combination of both the dress issue and then this selfishness that got to me. One I could understand, but to have her act 'out-of-character' twice seemed jarring to me.
But not to worry, I continued to read and you wrapped up the issue nicely and made me feel better for her at the end, so I definitely didn't come away from this story with a bad taste in my mouth, that part just took me 'out of the story' for a bit.
Rarity's not even my favorite! (don't lynch me, I like them all equally!)
Other than that, again, great work!
@zorinlynx Lucky!
ReplyDeleteAll I got for my birthday was Leslie Nielsen dying....Worst present ever
I'm torn on this. It was good - well-written and interesting - but by completely re-writing a canon episode (and a season closer to boot) as well as taking so many liberties with additional characters, it has the feeling of fantasy. I kept expecting a surprise twist at the end or at least some conclusion of some kind. Instead, it just getting stranger and stranger, adding more deviations and complexity, and then just... stopped.
ReplyDeleteThe characterizations felt off at times too, particularly Rarity and Rainbow Dash, with others seeming rushed or glossed over.
Looking at the dates on most of these comments, however, makes me wonder if it would have read better after only having seen the Gala episode once or twice - as well as not having read so many other fanfics that have been written since then. But I think that one of the true tests of a story is how well it stands up to time.
I think that the writing style, grammar, and formatting, however, were quite good. I'll have to track down any other works and give them a read.
I'm torn on this. It was good - well-written and interesting - but by completely re-writing a canon episode (and a season closer to boot) as well as taking so many liberties with additional characters, it has the feeling of fantasy. I kept expecting a surprise twist at the end or at least some conclusion of some kind. Instead, it just getting stranger and stranger, adding more deviations and complexity, and then just... stopped.
ReplyDeleteThe characterizations felt off at times too, particularly Rarity and Rainbow Dash, with others seeming rushed or glossed over.
Looking at the dates on most of these comments, however, makes me wonder if it would have read better after only having seen the Gala episode once or twice - as well as not having read so many other fanfics that have been written since then. But I think that one of the true tests of a story is how well it stands up to time.
I think that the writing style, grammar, and formatting, however, were quite good. I'll have to track down any other works and give them a read.
@Scorched Wing
ReplyDeleteLook at the publication date man. This came out before Best Night Ever (air date: May 6, 2011, fic date was in April)