• Story: Indoctrination (Updated Complete!)

    [Normal] We don't get many stories in the second person (outside of that ponychan shipping compilation)!  Also /r/ing more everypony images.

    Author:  Fickle
    Description: You find yourself acting as an audience through the eyes of a normal human on Earth. However, after a few nightmares and dreams, you can't get the thoughts and hallucinations of ponies out of your mind. Are they just strange visions and feelings or just more so? You might even learn something important on the way... My first story ever so tell me what you think~!
    Indoctrination Part 1
    Indoctrination Part 2
    Indoctrination Part 3
    Indoctrination Part 4 (New!)
    Indoctrination Part 5 (New!)
    Indoctrination Part 6 (New!)
    Indoctrination Epilogue (New!)

    Additional Tags: Learning, happiness, true friendship, conversion, dreams

    27 comments:

    1. This is off topic but where is the thread for Party of One, it's a new episode today.

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    2. Creepy, but I'm looking forward to see how it ends.

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    3. > Finished reading the first few alinea's of the story.

      What am i reading?

      Must..stay..awake..forever..

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    4. Gah, Still needs moar proofreading and punctation.
      >Especially commas.
      But all in all, I enjoyed it.

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    5. I like the idea.

      However (and sorry to be a jerk), it needs a bit of work in the spelling and punctuation. (Your=possessive. You're=contraction of 'you are')

      Come on, you can do it better. The concept deserves it!

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    6. The finished story is in a thread on Ponychan

      I want to know when the last two parts will be posted

      I just want a permanent link

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    7. I apologize for any grammar errors. I was typing fast and did most of it on my iPod touch... Now that it's the weekend, I should be able to edit it for the better.

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    8. Weird, disturbing, yet compelling. Interesting!

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    9. lets see we've seen Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkypie

      will said person end up being transformed into a Rainbowdash?

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    10. FlutterShy misspelled her own name but you corrected her LOL

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    11. Really good fanfiction Fickle, I enjoyed it a lot. Kind of corny, but I like corny things.

      I can see he's going to end up losing it. I'd be so scared of something happening that just bluh. Maybe he'd get mugged or something. That's just so scary. :(

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    12. By the way, I really appreciated all the spacing you made, it made it easier to read in my opinion.

      Again, really well done story. Sorry for double post.

      Looking forward to the next story, be it a sequel or not.

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    13. I really liked it. The only issue is that Rainbow Dash gets screwed during Bryan's monologue at the end (he never mentions anything about loyalty.)
      It was excellent nonetheless :D

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    14. It needs a spelling checkup, but it's very well made for a 3-day story.

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    15. Spelling errors make it pretty annoying to read, and throwing internet jokes in left and right is not writing a story. It's pandering to a crowd.

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    16. > did most of it on my iPod touch

      That would explain the spelling errors, yeah.

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    17. And again I get this strange feeling of...sad joy. I get that a lot since I've been bronified, gee. But I like it.

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    18. Creepy and disturbing. Lots of mind control and reality warping. Overall pretty interesting though.

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    19. I fear that after next week, we'll also share that feeling of loss...at least for a few months.

      However, I certainly won't forget them either!

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    20. Nice fic, I feel a bit happy after reading that but ponies have that effect, well this is not really a review but it was great, a good balance of story and comedy, well not much of a review but i'm busy.

      Hope there's a sequel.

      Steven Ray

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    21. @Anonymous

      Yea... it was too long of a story in too little time using the wrong device. For my first story, i kind of screwed up.

      @Anonymous

      Oh! Thanks for noticing. Its fixed. I feel like such an idiot...


      @ToonNinja

      I used Google Docs on my iPod Touch and Ponychan with Safari

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    22. To Everypony:

      Again, I apologize for the spelling and grammar! As it was my first story, I didn't think the grammar through, didn't take my time, and used the wrong resources. I was pressed with school and not thinking.

      Sorry for the irritation everypony...

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    23. I couldn't help but think of the Old Spice guy narrating the story.

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    24. I read it, I like it, but it felt a bit rushed in places. I also wonder just HOW the ponies were controlling the people and environment around Bryan. Unless they were just affecting /his/ perceptions, and everything around him was the same as ever.

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