The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie would also like to thank everypony who entered her AMAZINGLY well planned competition.
Voting on the Stories/Art will begin in on April 2nd, and probably last a few days. All Entries can be found At This Post!
Again, the Rewards Are...
Artists
First place: Your Choice between the Humble Indie Bundle or Half Life 2 Episode 1+2 (2 available)Second: Whatever First place Doesn't choose.
Third: Whatever is left!
Authors
First Place: Custom image drawn by MadmaxSecond Place/Third Place: A Copy of Portal 1 (New!)
Top 5: Their own story posts.
Most of these stories deserve their own posts... 800 words is generally the limit for everything, and most of them beat that by a huge margin. Obviously 46 story posts all at once would really kill the front page. I honestly wasn't expecting so many entries at such a high word count... maybe 10 max. Boy was I surprised! You guys are awesome!
Anyway, Discuss the entries from the event below!
70 kommentaari:
story fifteen is still missing
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaStory 15 got demoted
The Quickie Reviews.(Trixie is opressing my evil monster-ness stop her)
VastaKustutaArt Competitors.(Not much of it, but winning will be easier for the entries)
1. Derpy's New Pegas. Nice pun and it's Derpy.
2. Flutter-tree. It's so cute, might be partially nauseating to some of my senses. The author deserves an award for having a picture entered as well as a fan fiction. Recommended.
3. PinKKK-ie, it's definitely not funny. The one thing however is that Zecora might be afraid of ghost.
4. Pranking Gilda. It's not that funny hitting Gilda with honey and more feathers, Pinkie missed with this prank.
5. Derped Drinker's. Derpy got away with spiking the punch bowl, goes to show she's not dumb and actually a genius at work. Recommended.
6. Rickolled Rash. Poor Rainbow Dash never internet when it's April Foals day.
7. Pinkie's Medicine. She's getting a taste of it and Twilight is the spoonful of sugar. Recommended.
8. Rainbow Hash. Poor Rainbow Dash if only she knew Pinkie was a psycho. don't worry she just shaved Rainbow's mane off and she really wouldn't kill anyone. (Eye smiles innocently "wink wink")
9. Gladpie. This one frankly actually frazzled me and I'm scared of Pinkie. She made the cake go away.("sniffles")
10. Derp the Rainbow. It'll take this version of Derpy five minutes before she recognizes that she doesn't wear shoes. Recommended.
11. Duper-Super Derpy. Derpy is a mad genius in this epic comic. Recommended. Top three choice.
12. Hot Sauce Party. Hot Sauce Party sounds so wrong, nice punch line but I'm not feeling it. What they meant by 'everything is covered with hot sauce', they mean themselves too.
13. Jerkass Celestia. It's Madmax come on! Recommended. Top two, three if by godly intervention.
14. Indiana Twilight. Story Archeology week needs more snakes, just don't tell Twilight. Recommended. Top Three.
15. Goddess Rainbow, Master of ALL that dashes. Needless to say the game master will be scratching his head at this one trying to figure out something as equally awesome. Recommened... with ninja's that wield guitars.
16. Gummy Dentures. Poor Twilight is stuck on the tub because of Pinkie and Gummy has Granny Pie's dentures. Recommended.
Boy am I glad my story didn't get demoted like the jelly guy.
WORST APRIL FOOLS DAY EVER!
VastaKustutaMY OWN IMMUN SYSTEM PLAYED A PRANK ON ME!
I'M SICK HERE!
I am disappoint.
VastaKustutaI was hoping for a Homestuck Daily or something more controversial than just more Trixie.
Where are you Flashfox? Continuing on.
VastaKustutaStory Competitors. By Author name, charateristic and recommendation if given.
1. Fon Shaolin. Genocide... hehe.
2. Princeshadari. Pinkie Clones. Recommended.
3. Twinkietail. Flutter-tree. Recommended.
4. Chris. Complicated.
5. D. Shadows. Freakazoid.
6. Lord of the wrongs. One of three shipping labels. Recommmended.
7. Rex Ivan. Tricky.
8. M.Marsh. Overboard. Recommended.
9. Augiedog. Emerald Green. Recommended. Favorited.
10. Lurks No More. Fudge. Recommended. Favorited.
11. Solaris90. Magical rebound. Recommended. Favorited.
12. Vincent Van Dough. It lived a full life. Recommended.
13. l0x0r. Angel Bunny. Recommended.
14. Cupcakesnom. Everyone. Recommended. Favorited.
15. WAS BLAMMED AND HARD.
16. PhantomFox. Obvious Ackbar. Recommended.
17. ButterScotchSundae. Muffinacolypse. Recommended. Favorited. Guaranteed my vote.
18. The Descendant. Mastermind.
19. Friendly Uncle. I don't want to talk about it.(Just quoting from the story)
20. Tinker Jet. Stung like a bee. Recommended.
21. Too Much. Boing. Lightly Recommended.
22. ImBigBob. Shocking. Recommended. Favorited.
23. Desert Rose. Do not take orally. Recommended. Favorited.
24. Lucres. One size does not fit all, poor Rarity.
25. Alterform. Cupcakes.
26. Chaltab. Interesting to say the least.
May finish later...
Well, looks like I'm going to have to start learning to draw if I want my idea for an image realized.
VastaKustutaOh well, I'm glad that so many people were motivated to write so many great stories. Hopefully most of us can keep writing, to populate the long winter of discontent we have ahead of us waiting for the next season.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaEquius Daily
#7: Yes, it did in the sense of "you got me". We have to go DERPER!
VastaKustutaI liked Big Dragon, but the ending was too pat. I mean, literal deus ex machina. Also thought Pinkie should have been incinerated one more time to make it a proper running gag.
VastaKustutaSo far, Interplanetary is my fav!
@LordOfTheWrongs
VastaKustutaI'll cop to the ending being deus ex machina, but I figured it was at least an interesting one. And the third part of the running gag was Trixie getting incinerated.
@Lucres
VastaKustutaOh wait, spoilers, sorry.
Man, Pinkie got me GOOD. I was all, yeah, no, I feel no urge to yawn. 5 minutes later, *yawn* Dammit!
VastaKustutaOh. Oh, I get it! Seth's prank was to make us all spend the entire weekend reading fics! Good one!
VastaKustutaMy art choices are:
VastaKustuta#13, #11, #3 and #1, in that order. I thought Derpy: New Pegas needed an honorable mention because I got most of the in-jokes...like cross-eyed Derpy wearing Boone's sniper beret. -XD
27. Neon Noble. Itching doesn't help at all. Recommended.
VastaKustuta28. Pacce. Dark and particularly gruesome. Recommended. Favorited.
29. SKoB. Mind bender this one is.
30. Daffodil. Noir styled ponies, comes with ambiance music. Recommended.
31. d d. The apple of someones eye fading to dust, by backing of the night. Kind of Grimdark.
32. Usea. Ponyish Inquisition. Recommended.
33. Chistery. "I am not drunk, I am winning". Recommmended. Favorited.
34. Squeak. Good sense of humor there. Recommended.
35. Relias. I want some. Recommended.
36. Thunder Dare. A thousand years in the making, but not my cup of tea.
37. Couldn't access it at the time.
38. Dancinninja. A book written so well. Recommended.
39. Kiyyik. I'm a fan of everything... and destroying everything, but Rainbow Dash at the end yeah that really deserves a special mention. Recommended, My next vote; if I can, goes to this one. (my only problem was that it was similar to Pink'd in storyline)
40. Sithking Zero. Just doesn't say yogurt.
41. Ebon Mane. I wonder why unicorns don't just pick the locks with magic, unless it was a magic proof lock. Nice build up. Recommended.
42. Nathan. Somehow I don't want to know but I already do.
43. Sonata. Reflections of one's true thoughts, I wish I could see my own for something so deep. Recommended with a slight amount of my black heart breaking.
44. Jimbo. Big question how did she know in the first place? Recommended.
45. Crimson Risk. It is all in red, my eye kind of stings.
46. Escher. The other white unicorn. Recommmended.
Now that I finished reading all those stories I'm sleeping through the rest of April Foals/Fools.
Eventually I will get up an get the pancake syrup off my face and the pie stains out of my butt, my minions are so going to get it later when my insanity acts up. (I could always drink a soft drink that makes me insane and drunk at the same time. This eye monster never learns his lesson when it comes to poisoning himself on Mountain Dew)
So much text slogging... This actually might give an insomniac the ability to sleep all is good in the world. "YAWN"... yawning... yawned some more... darn it I'm out of stuff to read... I'll hit up anything worth viewing on youtube after I wake up.
Well my quickie reviews don't make a lick of sense but I did get my favorites in the bunch down.
Have a good one everybody this eye monster is fainting, don't throw pokeballs at me asgaweeyadsgfaadklah;a nea
Trio: My poor boss, he didn't have time to post the comment dude. Oh, well I'll do it for him dude.
@D. Shadows
VastaKustutaDon't worry, not even I know what happened. That's between Spike and Apple Bloom.
Well, apparently this is the new place to post mini-reviews. Took me a lot longer than I thought it would to finish reading the rest of the stories (some trouble with my internet connection earlier didn't help), but it was worth it; there's a lot of good stuff in this contest! (my reviews of stories 1-30 were posted last night, under the main article)
VastaKustuta#31: 4 stories for the price of one! Takes a depressing turn; this should really have a 'sad' tag.
#32: A Luna story! Creative use of the characters, and I loved the Mareskiteers.
#33: I will never be able to get that image of Ponyville out of my head. Thanks a lot. Funny at first, but it really earns that 'sad' tag by the end.
#34: A seriously sweet story. I love the fairytale style, and the way this tale gives depth to the holiday deserves praise.
#35: Sometimes, Pinkie's reality-warping ways scare me. Very trippy story, in a good way!
#36: More Luna! Oddly enough, this happened to me once. Albeit, it was only 20 months, but still...I feel bad for Luna now, having that happen is no fun at all.
#37: Wasn't able to open the document. Is this just me, or is anyone else having trouble too?
#38: I think Fluttershy's literary tendencies are practically fan canon by now, but I would never have pegged her for that genre...Very cute, very pleasant to read!
#39: This was the most disturbing fic I've read so far. Anything with non-G4 ponies should automatically get a 'grimdark' tag, IMO. On an unrelated note, Dash is unbelievably awesomely adorable!
#40: I had trouble reading the story on deviantart, but was able to copy-paste the text into a blank word doc. I love the idea of getting into a prank war with a couple of goddesses.
#41: A pleasantly spooky take on April Fool's day. Very nice!
#42: Short and sweet. Applebloom comes of as awefully naive; you'd think a farmgirl like her would know a little bit more about the way the world works. Or at least, she'd know more about her sister's sense of humor...
#43: An engrossing read. The author's vocabulary serves him (her? I never know...) masterfully. Be warned: it's sad.
#44: Honestly, this raises more questions about Derpy than it answers. Still a good read, and a fasinating explaination for the tradition!
#45: A very cute story; I liked the way it jumped from prank to prank so quickly! That said, it hurt my eyes to read (And if that was part of the prank, you forgot that pranks are supposed to be fun!). Please consider a more traditional color choice next time?
#46: Aww, don't be mean to Fluttershy! Even though there was no 4th wall breaking, this fic had one of the best meta-pranks I've seen today. I can't believe I got 'rolled by a pony!
Well, that's the lot. Let me say thank you to all the authors who submitted fics for this event: I really did enjoy reading them all. Good luck to everyone in the voting!
I absolutely loved the way #30 (The Prankster) came out! The use of sound definitely was a clever touch, and I hope this one goes far, even if that means it has to beat mine!
VastaKustutaHomework… Ponies… Homework… Ponies...
VastaKustutaAh, screw it. Let's do this! LEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIINS!
1) The April Fools: Oh crap… OH CELESTIA! What a cruel sense of humor!
Oh god, please don't write fanfics in Courier New, it's bad enough I have to deal with this barely visible font in screenwriting class…
Otherwise, interesting follow up to Over the Barrel, although I don't fully get the ending. Did Celestia do what I think she did?
2) Pink'd: I have to admit, this is a fantastic April Fools day prank to pull. I like Rainbow Dash' response to Pinkie with Wings. Probably the reason Pinkie lost the wings from her original character designs. Dash would be drivin INSANE!
xD Very very fun story! Now Pinkie will haunt my dreams!
3) Leaf-ing the Dream: I really like this one! <3 It's three parts cute, one part funny! Though I wonder, considering Twilight has connections, I wonder if she could arrange something for Fluttershy's dream. ^^
Though, she aught to be careful when the bees come out, there would be about a ton of little Fluttertrees to deal with.
4) A Cryptological Conundrum: …so there is a code to crack on this one. What are you Dan Brown? Dan Brony? (Stop making your author label "Chris" and change it to Dan Brony.)Well, sorry, I have 46 fics to read today so I'm just going to be spoiled. xD
Twilight! Don't punish Spike for something you read in his diary! That's supposed to be private! D:
Well, that was fairly mean of the Princess! That was a Gilda-esque prank and not a Pinkie Pie prank! Well, good story none-the-less.
5) Jack and Pie: When a ghost story is reality, huh? Like the Legend of Sleepy Hallow or something? Actually, I'm suddenly excited for whatever contests we hold next October!
To be honest, this story felt a bit disjointed. I could understand what was going on and it's a cute concept, but it lacked atmosphere and depth. Probably should work on writing descriptions better and using more flavorful words to punctuate the action.
6) April Showers: Straight up AppleDash shipping and it has to do with rain? Well can't wait to see how this goes down!
Oh wow, a pretty long one. I'll keep chugging along!
Well, I like how subtly you handled the confession. Though, dunno about how you then went unsubtle with the thunderstorms. xD
Can't say it's a fantastic story, but I thought it was cute all the same.
7) Rainbow Dash's AWESOMELY RADICAL April Foal's Prank: uuuuuuhhhh… well, I can tell you are a skilled writer. You're writing has good voice. It's frantic whenever it's focused on Rainbow Dash, while it's calm when it's focused on her friends. It creates really good atmosphere through the whole piece. I didn't expect it to go full blown meta like that. 0.0
VastaKustutaI am a bit confused, we spend so much time on RD's escapades but… I'm not sure if that paid off, suddenly it's focusing on Pinkie and then… aaaaaaaahhhh… My head. Ok, I'll leave this one be.
Anyone else think Rex Ivan should be the name of some famous superstar?
8) Twilight's Last Gleaming: Oatmeal! Are you crazy?
Wait, Pinkie gives the best pranks every year? But Rainbow Dash said in Griffon the Brush Off that she didn't know that Pinkie was a prankster before that episode… aw screw it.
Oh wow! That was a surprise! I thought Celestia was going to be Twilight but… man I was wrong there. Poor Twilight…
9) Pony of a Different Color: Courier New again! My one great weakness! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!
Dawwww, even though you wrote it in such an evil font, you've delivered a story that was very easy and pleasant read! This is so something Fluttershy would do! And I loved her reasoning for pranking Pinkie Pie. All around great story!
10) April Foals: Written by a man who's given up lurking, probably taken up sauntering instead.
Well, again, people forget that Rainbow Dash didn't know Pinkie was a prankster until episode 5, so it would be impossible for her to have a reputation or to have pranked in previous years without her knowing that… Sorry, I'm so fickle about trivial continuity!
Well, interesting twist having ponies consult Twilight about April Fools' Day instead of her being completely oblivious.
I'm impressed! Not only have you invented a completely believable and compelling origin of April Fools in Equestria, but you've incorporated it into the story quite well! Characters are believable and it's well written and paced! Very good work Mr. Saunters A-Lot!
11) The Day The Pony Stood Still: Woah Spike, I've heard of pillow pets but this is ridiculous!
Wait, a Trilby is a type of hat? I was thinking of the video game character at first when I saw that.
That was unexpected xD was her staying in place just a Pinkie Power or was our surprised guest behind it? Not bad, though a bit odd.
12) The Bestest Pranksgiving Ever!: I think the spell check in my word processor just killed itself when I was trying to type out that title.
Cah ha ha ha ha! I'll head butt you lucky!
Man, what matter of madness has come over me if that's all I have to say! 0.0
Man, this is taking me longer than I thought it would! I need to quicken my step, take fewer breaks if I'm going to make it to midnight!
my favorite story is number 29 and favorite art is number 16
VastaKustuta@flashfox466
VastaKustutaAbout #5 Yeah that's the reason why he didn't recommend his own story in those mini reviews dude.
I think he was spot on with most of his recommendations, he seems better at reading things then writing them dude.
C.J. is a ghost story that was reality, poor guy couldn't probably think of a better description like 'Pinkie's ghostly friend tie's some knots' dude.
Why am I here defending my idiotic pony loving friend anyway dude? Friendship must be contagious, because I'm starting to care about crazy dude.
@Trio Dackswell
VastaKustutaWasn't attacking the guy, dude. Was just giving suggestions in areas where he could improve, dude. I'll need to read all these mini-reviews when I'm done writing my own, dude. Putting it off so they don't effect my own opinion, dude.
Lucky / Enchiladavocadonana Sandwich.
VastaKustutaNew shipp.
Also I've got to say that 32 was my favorite story. "Mah boy!"
Classic.
Yes well, sorry I can't stop ending everything in 'dude' dude. It's a verbal tic kind of thing that doesn't exactly stop dude. (It is annoying, but what can I do dude?)
VastaKustutaI understand, he's not the most likeliest person to think things out dude. Check out his story "Mail Ponies" on fanfiction.net, You'll notice he has a few issues with keeping things smooth dude. It's like a curse and the Jack and Pie thing was written afterwords dude.
@Trio Dackswell
VastaKustutaI'm quite familiar with D. Shadow. We had a run in at the 300 word event and I've come in contact with his work before. I know he can take criticism, and despite his flaws, he always gives his best and participates, which is more than I could say for myself this time around.
Dude.
VastaKustuta@Hawkysu
VastaKustutaBro?
@l0x0r
VastaKustutaDawg!
@Neon Noble
VastaKustutaThis made me smile. A lot.
Thanks!
FlashFoxx! Please continue! Your review series is comprehensive!
VastaKustuta>Applejack says she has to help with "clean up"
VastaKustuta>other, kinder ponies go home early under odd circumstances (all the trains leave early?)
>too-fair treaty terms for buffalo
>Celestia is taking an interest in the gold
>CELESTIA IS INVOLVED AT ALL
No, I'm sure Celestia magic'd up some fireworks for the celebration!
Totally.
I have to say, I'm glad I'm not the only one doing short reviews ^^ Now everyone gets more than one opinion!
VastaKustuta13) Yes, I'm doing this for the Ticket: Another long one… ok, here we go!
I like how Twilight gains a personal vendetta against a book just because it won't open for her. xD
Poor Fluttershy! D: I like how protective Angel is of Fluttershy. I'm not sure if we've ever seen in the show Angel take an effort to protect Fluttershy from anything, though it is a cute idea. I wonder how Angel would have reacted to Gilda if he had been there that day with Fluttershy.
Haha, and we end with Fluttershy's cute naive pranking and apples. Not bad, could use a bit of slimming down as it's very slow paced.
14) Pinkie Pie's Incredible Interplanetary Super Prank: Sounds like a scifi! …or is it SyFy now? I'm so behind the times…
From the start, I'm getting the feeling that Pinkie is doing research for the Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi. Though it's never that simple…
The Social Ramifications of Sporks! That made me guffaw! Kudos! Though, believe it or not, the church in britain first considered Forks as sinful when they were first introduced because they encouraged excessive eating.
Yawns are… xDDDD
I didn't expect it so ordinary, but still effective. Not to mention cute! Good job!
*Yawn*
15) Twilight Sparkle Made it dissapear!: That's good to know my blue maned overlord.
16) Pride Goes Before Folly: Another long one. I hope this one reads quicker.
Ooh, a battle of pranking! I wonder who will win! (I hope Twilight, would be cool to see her win for a change.)
That was a very nice story! It's very well paced. I really wanted to know what Twilight was building, and all the events that occur up to that point actually help in building that tension. Too the point that I completely forgot that RD and Pinkie were setting up something as well, making all for a better pay off. Good job!
17) Mare of Misrule: A fic by ButterScotchSundae! Well, I'm in for a treat! *bricked*
Hahaha, I like that Twilight didn't know what the male counterpart of a princess was. All hail the pony matriarchy!
Oh dear… So the princess of the day is chosen at random through baked goods. Well, this won't end well. xD
I love that Spike is so self-aware about how everything seems to revolve around the manes.
Well, I sort of guessed where that was going to go, I still laughed out loud when it happened. xD That was so fun!
18) That's How The Accursed Cookies Crumble: Aww man, super long two-parter! It's going to be a long time before I get to 19 is it? The Descendant? As revenge for making your story so long, you shall be known as Leo Tolpony!
This tells the story of six aristocratic families living in Russia during the Napoleonic wars and it follows their entangled personal lives… or it's about ponies and cursed cookies, either one of the two.
Poor blues… I bet he plays a mean Sax though!
Twilight, you magnificent bastard I read your book!
…damn, this like Death Note levels of preparedness. I half expect L or Kira to show up.
I like Pinkie getting her words mixed up! xD
Man, I'm only half way through!
Not being able to finish the pranking song seems to be a running gag here.
This really is War and Pony! Will I ever reach the end?
Blushing Pinkie xDDDD
Starting to feel sorry for Pinkie D:
…what a tweeeestt!
My god that was beautiful. Even with it's length, you never stray. The pacing is done masterfully, and the pay-off is fantastic! That was so worth the read!
But aww man, only 3 hours left! I doubt I'll make it in time!
@flashfox466
VastaKustutaThanks for taking the time to read through and review every fic. Even mine. For the most part I agree with your evaluations, and I wish you luck on finishing all the fics in an acceptable amount of time.
alcohol_still_loves_me.jpg
@Daffodil
VastaKustutaHey, you earned it! =3
Huzzah! Praise! Thank you, Flashfox! Glad I entertained! My major goals were to make the characters 'sound' like themselves and to have it structurally sound. I hope I did a good job!
VastaKustutaSPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!SPOILERS!!!
VastaKustutaAuthor of #7 here:
Many seem to be confused with my entry. I apologize for that. I now have to admit that having to explain the joke means that it mostly didn't work. The key to the whole story is Rainbow Dash's last paragraph where she tells what the "best prank" is. What she describes is basically the outline of the story, and insinuates that the reader is the "pony" who is being pranked. What was this “stupendous” prank? I wanted to write some good (hopefully) meta fiction to make up for anything bad that the reader had experienced with meta stories, and possibly introduce readers who were put off at looking into stuff like this to begin with (they may grow to like it). Now, how to get somepony to read this sort of thing after they have already deemed it unreadable? Disguise it, of course! THAT is the prank. The whole story is the prank that Rainbow Dash helped me to play on all the readers. And, yeah, Pinkie was in on it too, but she was just going along with it for “extra fun”. It takes more than THAT to phase her in the slightest. She has tea and cakes with Faust every other Tuesday. I hope this helps explain things, and I hope you had fun with it. Comments and critiques are totally welcome and appreciated, and thank you to those who took the time to review. :)
- Rex Ivan
@D. Shadows
VastaKustutaHey, thanks for reading! I know my fic's like, almost at the complete end, but it is very comforting to know that someone read it. Thank you so much!
@Chris
Ditto for Chris, everything I just said up there! I really appreciate the time you both gave to so many authors - it's truly humbling! You guys are fic-reading machines!
As far as my fic leaving a lot of questions unanswered, some of it was by choice and some of it was due to the time constraint. In the end, I didn't want to slog down the fic too much with a long-winded explanation, when the reader's imagination would probably serve them just as well, if not better. And, well, Derpy's randomness is legendary! Maybe Ponyville has just learned to not question it too much? ;)
Again, thanks so much for reading! It really means a lot to me, and all of the authors as well! I wish everyone the best of luck in the competition!
I'm saddened by the lack of Bookish Delight. I hope I didn't scare her off with my antics last time! D:
VastaKustuta19) Messin' With Celestia: Well number 19, you've been neglected long enough!
Another long one… fast read, oh god please be a fast read.
Pony Horror Picture Show? Well, since we are ponizing musicals, why not Princess Celestia Superstar?
Well… didn't expect it to go this direction. I appreciate the Jonathan Coulton reference. :D
"I'm not a monster Tom, well, technically I am. I guess I aaaaaaammm!!!"
Well, that was disturbing of Pinkie. xD And pervy Fluttershy for the win. Entertaining to say the least, though I don't know why Pinkie felt the need to push Celestia's buttons so much.
20) The Unexpected: It's everypony vs Twilight if the tags are an indicator.
It's kind of weird reading so many fan fics in a row. I just read a fanfic not to long ago where Fluttershy bent down crying after a prank, and now we have a fic where she's asking to be pranked… Still cute though!
Well, this was very fast paced, maybe a bit to fast paced as my head was spinning at places. Also Fluttershy's role was kind off, as she more sent others to do her dirty work, so it's really hard to say she was really responsible. Especially considering all Fluttershy did was give ideas… Oh well, still a nice story, could use some work but I enjoyed reading it.
21) April Foal's Day, on ice.: The title already catches my attention. Not going to comment on the author's name because it's a bit Too Much for me… Ya see? I really had to stretch to turn that into a pun!
Twilight is the favored butt monkey of this contest. I guess the Great and Powerful Trixie will be pleased.
There are times when a new paragraph starts but it's supposed to be the same pony speaking as the last paragraph. It's a little confusing to have dialogue split up because I immediately think another pony is talking. If you are going to do that, make sure there is a reason to break it up, like another pony reacting or something.
I like the concept of keeping Pinkie out of trouble is a full time job. xD
I love the ending! Got a laugh out of me! Well, that was a pretty good story! Though I hope Twilight got some sleep after this… I hope I will got some sleep after this xD.
22) First April 1st: Let me guess… Twilight is the butt monkey again? Don't even need to read the description to find that out.
Wow, Rarity and Fluttershy pranking? Interesting you'd start the pony punishment montage with them.
Well, that was cute! Yeah, I agree, some of the pranks were fairly cruel, and I'm glad it came to the conclusion that it did. Still weird that Rarity and Fluttershy would be the first to prank Twilight, but at least that's a nice deviation!
23) Kick Roll'd: That is an impressive pun. It is one that doesn't whither in the sun!
Oh yeah, I went ahead and recorded myself reading this story. Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4TedkQP_hM
Haha, very cute! Nice easy read! Glad Rainbow Dash is the subject this time! Funny she would be ignorant of April Foals Day. Nice one Desert Rose!
24) Big Dragon: Spike wants to fly I wonder if the butterfly wings spell would work on him?
I like Godfather Pinkie. Of course she has to be stroking gummy like a bond villain. I like the exchange with the jimmies. I want to see this parody done on the show! xD
lol at the orange gag.
Oh god, this gets crazier and crazier as it goes!
Blood Cupcakes! ROFL
God this is EPIC! I was laughing all the way through! And the ending was so lovely! This put a huge smile on my face! It's stories like these the make all this worth it. ^^
Well, I won't be able to complete all these tonight. I'll have to spread this out through out the weekend because I can't afford to stay up all night. (Plus if I did it all in one sitting, my judgement will be deterred.) As long as I finished it before the polls catch up with me, that's fine.
@flashfox466
VastaKustutaI would actually like to ask what parts you felt were too fast paced. Please understand that I did want to keep the story short and to the point so I wouldn't discourage the reader nor would I go on too long with pointless filler.
And with Fluttershy, I was really looking to create some irony because irony is such a fun tool to play with. (Hence why the story is titled "The Unexpected".) Though with irony, I had it in my head that Fluttershy wouldn't know how to pull a prank off successfully on her own. So with that in mind, she (politely) asked her friends for their assistance. Because no pony would say no to Fluttershy. Would you?
I'm not trying to discredit your review. I'm very happy for the review! I would like you to elaborate a bit more on what you want me to fix exactly and what I should work on/keep in mind for my future stories. =) If you have the time, of course!
Thank you! ^^
Messin' With Celestia is by far the best of the bunch.
VastaKustutaThe hilarious cracks in the Occult scene with the painfully obvious fact that it was just regular ponies LARPing was hilarious.
Celestia's Delights were particularly fancy and enjoyable in their simplistic sophistication. Such fancy and smoothly flowing words! It was such a treat.
The fish sentence was particularly epic.
The allusion to Pinkie Pie being sick was pretty weak. I couldn't figure out the zombie apocalypse hint before it actually happened.
Celestia's red paint moment was pretty horrible and funny at the same time. It's nice to see Celestia get ruined by the fact that she's going to have to take one long bath to get rid of all that paint.
The dialogue about Angel Bunny was hilarious, particularly with how casually Twilight asked if Fluttershy was still bleeding.
The letter from Celestia was absolutely hilarious in its Royal way of saying that Celestia was pissed off by that sort of item (wonderfully tasteful description of it, too). It was even more hilarious when Celestia said she was keeping it. It was most hilarious when we found out who was the owner of such item.
Sleepover with Luna was hilarious. I loved how it was just a reminiscence yet so vivid and utterly hilarious, particularly with the aside about Luna's crush and the things she wants to do with him. I was sort of saddened it wasn't a mare, though.
The zombie delivery was a wonderful whiplash. It was seriously powerful with how it managed to extend and paint such a beautiful portrait of something happening within only a few seconds. The way you wrote Celestia discovering about the Infection just reassures me that Writing is incomparable in its power.
Zombie Pinkie Pie was an excellent "DUN DUN DUN!" moment. It was very, very epic with how Zombie Pie was all Psycho.
Celestia's entrance was suitably epic, and the Zombie Lyra was quite good, particularly with how you described her Undead Enthusiasm. The allusion to a gun shot with the pie was especially funny.
Zombie Pie's request was absolutely hilarious. Polite Zombies are the best zombies.
The face-off was epic. Pinkie Pie's Reveal more so, particularly how it was a Bang! Bang! Bang! sort of line delivery.
Pinkie Pie's Motor Mouth outburst was quite funny and in character. The hardcut to the aftermath was funnier.
The ending with Fluttershy at the specialty store killed me, particularly with how shy Fluttershy still is even though she's writing down an order for something like that.
@Tinker Jet
VastaKustutaWell, the main problem is that about 80% of your fic is dialogue. We don't get much to build atmosphere and character with. One thing in particular that bothered me...
"'What're you talking about, Fluttershy?'
'I asked Spike to... to... switch your calendar... and Rainbow Dash to dump water on you... and... and... Applejack to throw pies at you when we arrived! I made like I wanted to be pranked too... so you wouldn't suspect me. Smart, right?" Then she squeaked. "April Fools!'"
While I think you were trying to go for a Fluttershy who was happy for her own success, please note that Fluttershy was with Twilight for most of these pranks. She's heard her complaining on how much this annoys her. This should be utterly PAINFUL for Fluttershy to admit because she considers herself the ring leader and would fear that Twilight would hate her for it.
Back on topic, you don't need to sacrifice action to shorten your story, just try to sum up the situation with as few of words as possible but try to keep it colorful enough to make it clear in our minds.
"'What're you talking about, Fluttershy?'
Fluttershy fidgeted in her seat, beads of sweat poured down her face.
'I asked Spike to... to... switch your calendar... and Rainbow Dash to dump water on you... and... and... "
Only took one sentence to tell us what kind of pressure she was in. It gives us an emotional bearing on what the character is going through. It pulls us in! Then when Twilight forgives her the next line, we feel relieved for her.
Also, the use of imagery there helped. I never directly told you she was nervous, but her actions suggested what she was feeling.
@Tinker Jet
VastaKustuta"Twilight took a cloth and wiped her horn. Thankfully, the blue stuff was easy enough to get off. She sighed with relief. Spike couldn't contain his snickering."
Imagery could help the most simple of actions! Take a look:
"Twilight draped a nearby rag on her horn and wiped vigorously. The blue spots vanished beneath the cloth. She exhaled deeply, a worried look fading away from her face with the passing breath. Spike let out soft chuckles, trying to hold them back with his claw."
By throwing in the word "vigorously," we've insinuated that Twilight is still panicked about the situation. This is how we judge things in real life.
For instance, if someone sighed in relief in a real life situation, they don't directly tell you that they are sighing in relief. We see someone exhale deeply and form a pleasant gaze, and we insinuate from that they are sighing in relief. Making the audience assume draws them in, makes it real for them. Also, using colorful language like I was trying to do makes is more interesting to read, think of it as sweetening the deal!
@Tinker Jet
VastaKustutaAlso, keep in mind, while we all know that this is ponyville, we know what ponyville is like, it's nice to stop and look at the scenery every now and then. Again, you don't have to spend too much time on it, just so we can get our bearings and build atmosphere.
"She arrived at Fluttershy's abode and knocked on the door. Fluttershy peeked out and then opened the door fully."
We know what Fluttershy's house is like and how she leads her life, but remember that she is important to the story. What can describing her house and living conditions tell us??
"Twilight arrived at Fluttershy's secluded cottage at the edge of town and banged on the door. The door creaked inwards as a pair of eyes peered through the crack that it formed. Slowly the door swung open and there stood the quiet yellow pegasus, staring back at her with a faint smile."
I mentioned that her cottage was secluded and emphasized on it being on the edge of town. This established that she liked to be alone. Hanging longer on the peering eyes shows that she was distrustful of other ponies. So when we learn later that no one would prank Fluttershy, we'd fully believe it even without watching the show before hand. It all further's the story.
Without the action that drives the story, it's just dialogue floating there with little that binds us to the world you are trying to create. So it's worth playing with, yes?
Not to mention, every single example I've given can be shortened. Some people are masterful with words and some concepts can be summed up with just one! It just takes a lot of practice really. Practice I need more of admittedly. xD
Hope that helped!
I wanna do short reviews of all the stories too!
VastaKustutaIn blocks of 10!
1) The info dump on top was a bit much and I’m not sure I get the ending. Does that mean the treaty was joke, did Celestia just exterminate the Buffalo?
2) And when everypony is Pinkie Pie, nopony will be. Wait. No. What?
3) Keep reaching for that rainbow Fluttershy. Wait, not THAT Rainbow... Anyway, a cute little tale.
4) This isn’t a story! It’s an instruction manuel! Funny ending though.
5) I really liked how it start, but it got a little messy and confused as it went on. I had trouble following who was doing or thinking what. I feel like you tried to cram too much in too fast. There’s a dirty joke in there, given how it ends up.
6) A little rocky start, but it had me smiling for the most part. And then they all etc. etc.
7) Nice fandom references in this one. Then it got weird. Really weird.
8) Hah! Fluttershy and her foilage fetish. I was actually going to do a story about fake cuite marks for the cutie mark crusaders, but it seemed too cruel. And then... oh my did I lol. I love Nerd Twilight.
9) Is it possible to die of a cute heart attack TWICE? Cause I clearly did. Wait, no. Three times.
10) Kinda hoped for a bigger punchline. But the report at the end was great!
@flashfox466: "Wait, a Trilby is a type of hat?"
VastaKustutaYeah, a trilby is like a fedora with a higher crown and a smaller brim. The traditional 20's gangster hat (the short guy in the Bugs Bunny cartoon "Bugsy and Mugsy" wears a super-exaggerated trilby).
The video game character is called that because he wears a trilby hat; his real name is unknown (cuz, y'know, master thief and all).
@flashfox446: I clicked on my description and ended up at the pony equivalent of the rick roll.
VastaKustutaWell played, flashfox, well played.
@flashfox466
VastaKustutaThank you so much for the description examples. It's true that some of those probably could've been shortened but I am also a person who appreciates colourful language. With that said, I sometimes worry that I might end up being too redundant.
I imagine that since I'm already in the contest that it's too late to edit the story until votes come in... But I will most definitely keep these things in mind for my next entry! ^^
With that said, I would actually like to go as far as to ask you for another way to contact you for further assistance with my writing (if you're interested) since description does tend to be a horrible weak point of mine. (Since I'm more accustomed to writing scripts than story formats and scripts are mostly text. Especially when you write for radioplays! >.> Then it's all text and sound effects.)
Thank you so much for your time/help! ^^ I greatly appreciate it!
Continued...
VastaKustuta11) That was. Um... Huh. Didn’t see that coming. I liked everypony’s interactions.
12) This was an odd read for me. All BOY ponies... Anyway, great character interactions and it had me smiling all the way through.
13) Poor Fluttershy. Other than that, :D
14) Damn it! She got me...
15) Ugh.
16) That was a simply lovely little tale and I visualized it all perfectly. Good times and well done.
17) I'd be hard pressed to pick my favorite part of this, but it would prolly be the new pinkie song.
18) LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. But nice, very cartoony. Also, I actually didn’t see the twist coming. Though I really should have.
19) Poor Celestria... Poor Fluttershy... Poor Luna... Poor Ponyville... Re: Your Brains! :D
20) Needed more “everypony.” Other than that, it was a nice tale of playful pony pranking that piled on the pleasant pleasure.
And the stories continue!
VastaKustuta21) And then it was Derpy who got the last laugh, very nice.
22) Good clean (her) fun.
23) T-those pranks were all potentially lethal... Cloud Kicker needs to be stopped.
24) This one was GREAT. Pad it out a bit and maybe lose (though regretfully lose) the mating gag and we got an episode here.
25) No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Oh. Okay. Bastard.
26) Not my cuppa tea, but NOT bad.
27) Fun, but perhaps a bit too much... Also I’m not sure what was going on in the end there, did Pinkie NOT give her the cream?
28) I’m sorry, I was too busy thinking about handsome the author is with all his fake mustaches. SO handsome. But seriously, I think I did okay. It was funny and while I doubt I had y’all going through most of it, I count it as a victory if you at least were all “Well, maybe...”
29) A bit hard to read with the way it was set up. A little silly, but nice if your into mindfuckery.
30) Music was a GREAT touch. Really added to the atmosphere, but I had to change tracks before the song was over! Anyway, I now have a lot of music saved to my youtube. Oh and the story was great too. Really great actually. I’ll prolly vote for it over my own when the time comes.
@Pacce
VastaKustutaGo Pacce go! Go Pacce go!
@Pacce
VastaKustutaPacce...said my story was great.
I'm "SQUEEE"ing like a little girl.
@Pacce
VastaKustutaNo, Cloud's worked it all out with the possibilities and the mathmatical proportions and angles and tests and all of that. It takes her a few days to work the kinks out of her pranks, and she'll only pull them if they've passed. About 99% of her pranks don't pass, but the ones that do are hilarious. She saves the scariest but safest ones for April Foals day.
*gosh it's hard to make a character*
Plus, she's a friend of Pinkie, who is a MASTER on pranks. Besides, she's a pegasus, if she can tell something's gone wrong on an aeronautical prank, she will stop it and catch the pony before they fall, unless something's gone wrong. The prank mentioned in the story probably took a week to work out.
Jus wanted to clear things up a bit..
@Descendant (#18):
VastaKustuta"This day is meant for top-notch pranksters like Pinkie and I... mostly I, but a lot of Pinkie, too, so no amateur hour!""
Those "I"s should be "me"s. It's a common mistake; lots of people hypercorrect because saying "and me" when it's wrong is common, and they think "and I" just sounds more formal.
Remember, if you're saying "somebody and I" or "somebody and me", the sentence should work either way if you pull out the "and" and the other name.
"Rarity and I are going to the spa" is correct, because "Rarity is going to the spa", and "I am going to the spa". You wouldn't say "Me am going", so you have to use "I".
But in this case, "pranksters like I" doesn't work; "pranksters like me (mostly me!)" is correct.
Other than that, it's a great story (I'm still not DONE with it, but...)
Voting is going to be HARD for some of these.
VastaKustuta31) 4 stories in one! Applebloom’s was :T
Scootaloo wins everything forever.
Sweetie Belle made me <3
Granny Smith.... ;_; WHY!
32) Eeeeeeeee, this is too cute. It’s only a model, heh. Oh lordy, this one kept getting better as it went. Master Asia Pony makes me happy on the inside!! This one is a DEFINITE contender for best story.
33) A quick summary in emoticons:
:P
:)
=3
:D
‘_’
:[
D:
;_;
34) I got heartwarm’d.
35) Oooooookay. Um. Whatever.
36) Heh, troll Celestia strikes again.
37) Wow, Dash is a jerk in this. And then she gets set on fire.
38) Initial thoughts: If Fluttershy doesn’t get that ticket, Imma gonna be pissed.
Closing thoughts: I am not pissed. I am happy.
39) Best teaparty EVER.
40) The twist got me. Well done!
@Pacce
VastaKustutaThe many faces of Pacce? :3
@Pacce
VastaKustutaShe did. Read the adjectives very carefully-- you'll notice what she did to Rainbow Dash's coat. :P
@Neon Noble
VastaKustutaAh.
Gotcha.
41) Love that first line. And then the clock struck 13 and my smile was gone. Gave me the shivers.
VastaKustuta42) Mwahahahahahahahaha! I can think of no further comment.
43) *scratches head* I kinda feel like this was only connected to April Fool’s day to get readers through the contest. It’s not badly written or anything, Grimdark and I never really see eye to eye.
44) That actually got me misty, but in happiness. That makes the third RANDOM Derpy story I have enjoyed. More proof that good writing goes a LONG way towards a good character.
45) A nice happy tale of pranks and fun. I was sorta hoping something would happen with Fluttershy though.
46) Rarity making things a specific percentage cooler (first time I’ve giggled at that reference) AND Rick Rolling. Nice. Rainbow Dash ships Twilight and Fluttershy, huh. And then it came to an end and I grinned like a dope.
So that’s that! 46 stories. And they were actually all pretty varied from each other. That’s... pretty impressive. About the only thing I really saw a lot of was “Bucket Pranks”, in fact a bucket prank was the central focus of my OWN story. Funny that.
Also a lot of adorable Fluttershy, but that just naturally happens whenever she shows up.
But man, voting is gonna be TOUGH on some of these.
@Pacce
VastaKustutaWhat would you say has your vote in... Oh I don't know, bracket 7?
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI LOVED 4/5ths of those.
*Assuming I'm counting right, that one being deleted kinda messes with my counting and I am not a clever pony*
Sooo Imma have to reread them ALL on the day of voting before I can decide.
@Pacce re: #46
VastaKustutaAww, thanks for the positive response.
Actually, I debated doing something other than the "bucket gag" (twice, for pete's sake!), but it seemed like the best choice for something that's quick to set up, but also fairly inoffensive, which was important in the context. I just couldn't do anything nastier than that to poor Fluttershy...
Yeah, Dash ships FlutterTwi, apparently. I didn't have that planned. It just kind of happened. Don't look at me like that. (...anyway, she should clearly wind up with Big Mac.)
@Escher
VastaKustutaThe bucket gag is a classic. Right up there with a pie in the face or slipping on a banana peel.
@Pacce
VastaKustutaRE: #42
Glad you liked it... but is that really all you can give me?
@Nathan
VastaKustutaCackling laughter ISN'T enough?
@Pacce
VastaKustutaDon't get me wrong, the laughter is pretty sweet and well appreciated... but it doesn't give me much to work with.
@Nathan
VastaKustutaI'm afraid there's just not much to say. Applebloom was adorable and Applejack's efforts to educate/protect her sister were hilarious and it all ties around an incident that we never get to see.
@Pacce
VastaKustutaEveryone keeps interpreting the "mating instincts" part of my story dirtier than I intended! Those instincts include nest-building and courtship rituals, and Rarity is just afraid of getting sloppy dragon kisses! Seriously! You're buying this, aren't you?
37: I didn't understand the nature of the stitching on the doll. Was it saying that the only reason she could tell it was fake was some exposed stitching, or was it implying that FS beats up on the dolls, or what?...
VastaKustuta