Author: Mr. Madden
Description: A violent storm over the Atlantic causes Kent to lose control of his aircraft. When he comes to, he realizes that he has somehow stumbled into a whole other world.Worlds Away Part 1
Worlds Away Part 2
Worlds Away Part 3
Worlds Away Part 4
Worlds Away Part 5 (New!)
Alternate DA Links
DA-Worlds Away Part 1
DA-Worlds Away Part 2
DA-Worlds Away Part 3
DA-Worlds Away Part 4
DA-Worlds Away Part 5 (New!)
64 kommentaari:
FUCKING AWSOME
VastaKustutaI'm liking the angle this thing is taking.
VastaKustutaI like it so far, interesting plot, but you seem to have the same issue in writing that I do, with dialogue. Your description of people (ponies) and places was really vivid, but your dialogue was lacking in both variety and plot movement. You seem to use a lot of the 'Yeah, I' and 'Okay, I'll' kind of phrases. Take this for example:
VastaKustuta>She's a pretty down-to-earth pony. But yeah, she's also one of the coolest earth ponies I know!
The 'But yeah,' in there breaks up the conversation and makes your dialogue seem almost monotone, no offense. You also had a lot of unneccessary conversations, like--
AAARGH. Why won't Google Docs let me copy?!
Whatever. That part when Twilight asked Kent how he managed to survive the crash was redundant and did nothing for the audience. While I'm sure Twilight would have been curious and probably asked about it, WE already know the answer. You'll find most authors put something like: Kent recounted the story of his crash to the best of his abilities, or something like that. It helps to make the reader not feel like Kent when he has to tell it several times, (I don't think the frustration at that was what you were going for in that part, but I could still be mistaken) and keeps the story flowing.
Also, the meetings with Applejack and Spike seemed kind of tacked-on, like you just threw them in there to meet the rest of the cast. (Which wasn't even where you were taking it, so I don't know what you were doing.) Kent and Rainbow Dash flew all the way over to Applejack just to have a 20 second conversation? You don't need to introduce characters that aren't going to be important. They might be later, but not right at that moment.
Overall, a good fic! I give it 4/5 stars because it could rank up there with Stuck if you polished it up a little!
Keep writing, I am eagerly awaiting the next installment.
Were you the guy that told me you were writing something similar? If you were, I implore that you write more.
VastaKustutaThis is an awesome take on, whatever we call it. Can't wait for you to write more!
I like where this is going!
VastaKustutaAs far as criticism goes, I agree with basically all of Grez's wall of text; the meeting with Applejack seemed really unnecessary, and the dialog in general could be better.
Still, I really enjoyed reading it, and hope to see more of this soon.
Grez does not apologize for his text wall, nor does he provide any sort of tl;dr. It's the Lizard Lord way.
VastaKustuta(I didn't think it would be that big!)
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaNot bad so far. BTW, it's 'Froggy Bottom Bog', not 'Froggy Bottom Swamp'. :) I am curious to see how this story progresses.
VastaKustutaBermuda Triangle you say? I'm so on my way to ponyville...
VastaKustutaDon't know if self-insert Stu.
VastaKustutaI like this one!
VastaKustutaMm, think I'm gonna go fly over the Bermuda triangle now...
lol Flight 19
VastaKustutaThis Just gave ma an awesome idea
VastaKustutaThe Basic storyline of this story exept reversed
This needs to be continued.
VastaKustutaExcellent.
Holy crap, I think Stahi is right on the money, jusk opened up my books and found Flight 19, thats exactly what twilight is talking about, i knew it sounded familiar. Nice catch!
VastaKustuta>Flight 19
VastaKustutaEeyup
NEEEEEEED MOOOOAAAAAARRRR
VastaKustutaAutor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaPart 3 finished, link should be up soon
VastaKustutaSo Twilight knows about humans?
VastaKustutaDUN DUN DUUUUUN
VastaKustutadamn, i just can't wait till part 4 comes out... this is AWESOME!
VastaKustutaOh god damnit, that cliffhanger. it makes me ache.
VastaKustutaGIVE ME MOAR, MOAR I TELL YOU...please.
VastaKustuta^ What he said.
VastaKustutaOh, now I'm curious.
VastaKustutaNow, I shall go into biding.
I like where the story is going in the newest chapter :) Like the fact that human exists in FiM universe this time!
VastaKustutaAlso, I like the way you write but the dialogue needs more emotion.
Other than that, keep up the good work!
I just love the way this is going!!
VastaKustutaI really want to read more...but i cant since there isn't a new one added yet...:(
Oh well, it just adds to the suspense!
I cant wait till you make another one:D
>Someone you do not know:P<
>Someone you do not know:P
VastaKustutaNo really, like... who is this
I MUST KNOW
Trying to read part 4, getting an access error.
VastaKustutaMOAR CELESTIADAMNIT
VastaKustutaWait, what? It's saying that I need permission to see it. Can you fix that please?
VastaKustutaThe author will have to add permissions. Use the da link instead.
VastaKustutaRead the DA version.
VastaKustutaAlso, Madden, this is getting better and better!
tesseract --> HYPERCUBE
VastaKustutaOh god i hope this doesnt turn into horror movie about multiple dimensions... and cubes...
"[The compass] started spinning like hell"
VastaKustutaMy first thought: FUCKING MAGNETS
Interesting premise, I can't wait to see how it all gets resolved!
VastaKustutaI'm loving this.
VastaKustutaPossibly one of my favs.
Sorry bout the permission error,
VastaKustutaShould be viewable now.
I NEED MORE!
VastaKustutaI MUST HAVE MORE!
Wow. This is a really awesome, intriguing story so far. I love how the humans seem to be creatures of legend, and the way each pony individually interacts with Kent (especially Rainbow Dash) really keeps my attention, making me want to read more.
VastaKustutaI've got my eye on this one! ElusiveMrMadden, I'll have you know that I'm checking this site out more often to see more of this story.
Keep up the Great work!
Surprisingly good, but why are he in such a hurry to escape from Equestria?
VastaKustutaHaven't read the fourth chapter yet, only because I'm having difficulties accessing it for some reason :/
VastaKustutaStill, this has been a really fun read so far. It's caught and kept my attention, which doesn't happen very often. I've actually really enjoyed the style of writing as well.
Oh, and DashxKent is now a thing to me. So undeniably cute. Can't wait for more! (Of the story, and Dash and Kent ^^)
I love how unsubtle Dash is. Normally OC/Manecast ships put me off, but... RD just makes this work, lol.
VastaKustutaYou've managed to write something that can be both hilarious and intriguing at the same time. Don't see that enough.
Good stuff all around.
@ChJees
VastaKustutaNot everyone loves ponies as much as we do.
OHHH!!!
VastaKustutaWHY DO I LIKE THIS SO MUCH?? >.<
MOAR... if thats ok with you ._.
Hope this has a quick update time, I'm already chewing on the bit waiting for more.
VastaKustutaI'm at that point where I want to write but nothing is coming out of my brain. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel more refreshed.
VastaKustutaEnjoyable as always.
VastaKustutaI wonder who's at the door for Kent...perhaps a certain filly with a mane of several colours...?
VastaKustutaso ponies are, like the future...
VastaKustutaponies are the future...
i need a cryomachine! quick!
seriously though i think behind the door is granny smith, would make sense right? if AJ granddad was human granny HAD to know...
@titandude05
VastaKustutaThat's what I want it to be at least :P
A curious story, but I need to ask this, am I the only one who found it extremely strange that at the end of day 2 he STILL didn't check on his airplane? I was sure that would be the first thing he is going to do when he woke up in the hospital.
VastaKustuta(And who in Equestria would be capable of repairing it anyway)
maybe they knew how to from the other crash
VastaKustutaThis is the first "human in Equestria" fic I've read. I love it.
VastaKustutaApplejack's Grandpa being from Dallas is awesome, by the way.
I love this story so far! Can't wait for part 6!
VastaKustutahang on, There's something I'm confused about in the first segment.
VastaKustutaHe says that he's entirely blind, but then goes on to describe the lighting of the room. How is this possible?
I haven`t seen an update on this in ages!
VastaKustutaI'm still waiting for the next part.
VastaKustutaIt is one of the first fanfics I read.
I demand a clever conclusion to this story! :D
MOAR
VastaKustutaI like this story
VastaKustutaneeds to be updated though
Damn it! That cliff hanger at the end of part 5! NNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!
VastaKustutaGood story bro. Keep it up! d=(^.-)z
A little fast-paced for the first chapter, and a little dialogue-heavy, but over all a pretty damn good story! 4/5
VastaKustutaThat cliffhanger you left us with leaves me wanting more, Y U NO finish fanfic
VastaKustuta