• Story: Returns

    by
    [Shipping] I just realized I fell asleep with kissing ponies on the top of the page all night. Uhhh my bad!  Here is some Twilight/Bigmac to do the exact opposite of making up for that.. Written by Hamster
    Description: Needs Description
    Returns
    Thursday, March 3, 2011 op
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    11 comments:

    1. cherrybomb0388March 3, 2011 at 12:37 PM

      Don't feel bad, I just spent the last 45 minutes conditioning, straightening, and then styling my Styling Rarity and Applejack. I still need to do most of my regular sized ponies though... yep, totally straight here. lol

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousMarch 3, 2011 at 1:35 PM

      One can only hope Big Mac doesn't roll over squashing poor Twilight. (But still a very cuddly story)

      ReplyDelete
    3. AnonymousMarch 3, 2011 at 2:06 PM

      Aww, this was pretty cute. I'd love to see it continue, even with the "ending" spoiled.

      One note, the line that starts, “Here! wait, Please," should probably be on the end of the previous line--with a space between them it looks like Big Mac said that line.

      Thanks for writing!

      ReplyDelete
    4. CottonmouthMarch 3, 2011 at 4:31 PM

      This gave me a warm soft feeling inside.

      I think that's a good thing! Thanks for writing this! Couldn't really find anything wrong with it.

      ReplyDelete
    5. HamsterMarch 3, 2011 at 4:34 PM

      @Anonymous

      Thanks!

      I guess I could maintain the reflective approach, having twilight looking back at all the silly an awkward mistakes she made the in days leading up to them getting together.

      And thanks for the advice! I was hoping to find a way to make that section flow a bit better.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Ebon ManeMarch 3, 2011 at 6:09 PM

      Thanks for reading Ships. I'm glad you appear to be giving them a happy ending; I know Ships failed utterly in that regard.

      ReplyDelete
    7. HamsterMarch 3, 2011 at 6:53 PM

      @Ebon Mane

      I liked ships, it reminded me of a John Steinbeck short call chrysanthemums. The male in that story had a different motivation, but there were a few aspects in tone that the stories shared.

      Something about ships also reminds me of that story where it takes to lovers years to finally be together (Wish I could remember the name >.<)

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousMarch 3, 2011 at 8:12 PM

      lol, as long as nobody walked in and saw the screen while you were asleep it should be fine. But yeah, better not to leave images of Pinkie and Dash making out on your screen when you aren't there to quickly hide it if the wrong person happens to show up, lol. :P

      ReplyDelete
    9. AnonymousMarch 4, 2011 at 12:57 PM

      As much as I love Ships that passed in the night, it did leave me feeling blue. This is much needed, thanks!

      ReplyDelete
    10. ZarkanorfMarch 12, 2011 at 11:41 AM

      Another d'aaaaaaw moment, brought to you by the /co/lts and /b/ronies of Equestria Daily. :D

      ReplyDelete
    11. Sunset RoseJune 11, 2011 at 4:04 PM

      It could have used a little more story after Mac had left. Seems like it had much more potential, but it was a short, sweet little story nonetheless.

      ReplyDelete

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