Description: An unknown pony is found unconscious in the middle of a storm in Ponyville, devoid of a past and a cutie-mark. With help of several of the ponies there, she gains friends, gains a job, and eventually unravels the mystery.The Puzzle of Puzzle
The Puzzle of Puzzle Part 2
The Puzzle of Puzzle Part 3
8 comments:
Just finished part one. Soooo long!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is really well written, especially for a first timer. I liked the fact that there was lots of dialogue (you also captured the characters really well), but IMO you could have done without the whole scene change stuff. It kind of ruined the flow of the story. That's probably my only qualm. Since I cant give a a 4.4, I'll give it a four. Off to read the rest.
I usually don't care for OCs, ever. But this was quite a good story.
ReplyDeletecould've been a pony sue, but to my pleasant surprise it was instead a fascinating origins story for an interesting OC. I will say though that the scene-change and exposition was painful in the way it broke the flow and should be folded in to the story.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the feedback. I've gotten the comments on the whole "scene change" bit on DA as well. my only defense of it was I was trying to make the story "feel" like an episode of the show, thus going with the transitions in the classic animated variant. It was, however, an experiment that apparently didn't work out quite as well as I had hoped. And yes, I tried hard to avoid the "Mary Sue" syndrome, despite how it ends.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the whole story! I'd say I thought that most of it worked well. The only critique I'd have to give is near the end of part 3. I felt like Puzzle was a little too accepting of everything.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I loved it!
Mary Sue or not, the whole thing does seem too much of a fursona self-insert.
ReplyDeleteI think this is one of the better stories-- And I've read 90% of them so far. I really wanted to know what was going to happen next.
ReplyDeleteBest OC story that I've seen.
ReplyDelete