• Story: New Tricks

    [Grimdark] Sometimes I really hate this tag. A very UNFRIENDLY friend off entry.
    Disclaimer: Equestria Daily does not condone hate crimes of any kind against Tomboy Rainbow Pegasus' or any other pony for that matter.
    Description: Gilda does horrible things to Rainbow Dash
    New Tricks

    18 comments:

    1. So...umm, why do we have the star-rating system again? Are we judging on content or how well it's written?

      ReplyDelete
    2. I mean, yes, it's not like a masterpiece, but it's not super-awful

      ReplyDelete
    3. I didn't like it, and half the script was reused from Sonic Rainboom but...

      The writing's decent. So I can't one-star it the way I want to.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Writing was mediocre, but I enjoyed the content.

      ReplyDelete
    5. I really had trouble following this story.

      ReplyDelete
    6. Messy.
      And descriptive.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Grimdark for the sake of being grimdark. No story, just "these ponies die".

      ReplyDelete
    8. Boring, poorly written, and as the others have said, Grimdark for the sake of being Grimdark.

      When your story hinges on one line of dialogue (read: the only line of dialogue) you want to make sure that line really hits home with the audience. You want them to -feel- it. Make it good.

      Punctuation helps.

      ReplyDelete
    9. very lamesauce couldn't keep reading it, not enough interesting content

      ReplyDelete
    10. I rather grimdark ponies than lingerie ponies

      ReplyDelete
    11. I'm sorry but it was not very good.

      And if Gilda so carefully planned this out, why did she think she could escape while severely injured *and* carrying a body not much smaller than herself?

      I'm no writer, but maybe you should have spiced up the ending with a defiant last stand, or possibly even Gilda realizing what she had done and being crushed by regret

      ReplyDelete
    12. thanks for the feedback guys, and ive taken it all on board.

      In my defense, this was kind of a request someone had for something to submit, and I'm trying to make some of the things I write shorter. My usual stories are much, much longer. It was kind of a first attempt. I do have some other fics that are longer, and people have said are better, maybe I'll show them if you'd be willing to read

      ReplyDelete
    13. But just so I know, would you say the writing is worse, or the content?

      ReplyDelete
    14. @dasalasa
      I'd say the writing was fine, it was just perhaps TOO straightforward.
      Beyond the colourful descriptions of carnage, I'd say the most interesting thing was how Gilda herself was willing to die just to hurt Dash and that she even stole her body for reasons I'd prefer not think about.

      ReplyDelete
    15. I think the first commenter summed it up nicely. WHY?

      First off, this was not that well written. It was very blunt and a little painful to read.

      Second, the subject. Just... Just why? I mean, I've read Cupcakes and Rocket to Insanity. They seeed to hold a point to them. Compared to this? Ugh....
      1 star.

      ReplyDelete
    16. A blandly written, entirely pointless story.

      ReplyDelete