Disclaimer: Equestria Daily does not condone hate crimes of any kind against Tomboy Rainbow Pegasus' or any other pony for that matter.
Description: Gilda does horrible things to Rainbow DashNew Tricks
Description: Gilda does horrible things to Rainbow DashNew Tricks
18 comments:
WHY.jpg
ReplyDeleteSo...umm, why do we have the star-rating system again? Are we judging on content or how well it's written?
ReplyDeleteI mean, yes, it's not like a masterpiece, but it's not super-awful
ReplyDeleteI didn't like it, and half the script was reused from Sonic Rainboom but...
ReplyDeleteThe writing's decent. So I can't one-star it the way I want to.
Writing was mediocre, but I enjoyed the content.
ReplyDeleteI really had trouble following this story.
ReplyDeleteMessy.
ReplyDeleteAnd descriptive.
One starred
ReplyDeleteGrimdark for the sake of being grimdark. No story, just "these ponies die".
ReplyDeleteBoring, poorly written, and as the others have said, Grimdark for the sake of being Grimdark.
ReplyDeleteWhen your story hinges on one line of dialogue (read: the only line of dialogue) you want to make sure that line really hits home with the audience. You want them to -feel- it. Make it good.
Punctuation helps.
very lamesauce couldn't keep reading it, not enough interesting content
ReplyDeleteI rather grimdark ponies than lingerie ponies
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but it was not very good.
ReplyDeleteAnd if Gilda so carefully planned this out, why did she think she could escape while severely injured *and* carrying a body not much smaller than herself?
I'm no writer, but maybe you should have spiced up the ending with a defiant last stand, or possibly even Gilda realizing what she had done and being crushed by regret
thanks for the feedback guys, and ive taken it all on board.
ReplyDeleteIn my defense, this was kind of a request someone had for something to submit, and I'm trying to make some of the things I write shorter. My usual stories are much, much longer. It was kind of a first attempt. I do have some other fics that are longer, and people have said are better, maybe I'll show them if you'd be willing to read
But just so I know, would you say the writing is worse, or the content?
ReplyDelete@dasalasa
ReplyDeleteI'd say the writing was fine, it was just perhaps TOO straightforward.
Beyond the colourful descriptions of carnage, I'd say the most interesting thing was how Gilda herself was willing to die just to hurt Dash and that she even stole her body for reasons I'd prefer not think about.
I think the first commenter summed it up nicely. WHY?
ReplyDeleteFirst off, this was not that well written. It was very blunt and a little painful to read.
Second, the subject. Just... Just why? I mean, I've read Cupcakes and Rocket to Insanity. They seeed to hold a point to them. Compared to this? Ugh....
1 star.
A blandly written, entirely pointless story.
ReplyDelete