Description: Once plucked from her home and thrust forth into a large scale conflict as a filly, a pony reflects on one of the many events that shaped her seldom-remembered past life.The Marksmare
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[Grimdark] The author told me he doesn't want to use character tags for the sake of keeping things mysterious, so I'm going to default to the best pony in the show so far as the main image even if she is completely irrelevant...and has an oddly shaped horn in this image. Author is DerKaiser
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9 comments:
I will never understand these type of stories. Why do them?
ReplyDeleteWhy give ponies sniper rifles and machine guns? If you want to see a war story done right, please go read High Fructose Porn Syrup's Dragon War from his "Underground Collection".
Right now, a story like this mine as well have anything pony related taken out. This reads just like some war story from a human's point of view.
Well, apart from a rather sudden tense-change and a fairly hilarious mix-up of "stake" and "steak," this was pretty good. Solid writing, a well set-up atmosphere, and good pacing. The character reveal was well enough done, but there's a pretty big tip-off in the first paragraph; either that or I just made a lucky guess.
ReplyDelete@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I did it because it was a bit of a mini-meme after dragonshy. There's been at least a few instances of her as a sniper. I was just bored one day and thought it would be fun.
Yeah, the first paragraph has a pretty big tip-off, but I think the reveal was still very well done. I think the writer did a great job creating a nice, tense atmosphere. Not sure how a pony would work a rifle, but once you can suspend disbelief and go along with it, it's a cool little story. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI figured it was a tip off the entire way through, which is good, though I have to admit with the large amount of gray coats, I was thinking it was Derpy for a bit.
ReplyDeleteStill, it would connect with the fact she is... That would give it away. I can vaguely see it, or some variation therein, even if hooves don't work that way.
I've been waiting for someone to write a story just like this about this particular character for a while now actually.
ReplyDelete*spoiler*
Ever since some anon mentioned why the character knew what a tank was, and why the character was in ownership of a camo helmet.
*spoiler*
Unfortunetly, I have to agree with Cottonmouth. It was pretty boring and pretty average and had no reason to be based on ponies.
ReplyDeleteThe first paragraph is also a huge hint, and really left no big reveal at the end, at least for me. Sure it's written well enough, but the setting is... boring.
Pretty good. The ending kind of threw me off, though.
ReplyDeleteThe names fumbles...It was always fumbles...
ReplyDelete