Author: Augiedog
Description: Romance, palace intrigue, and swashbuckling adventure await our six heroines (and Spike, too) when Princess Luna summons the Elements of Harmony to Canterlot.Half the Day is Night Prologue
Half the Day is Night Chapter 1
Half the Day is Night Chapter 2
Half the Day is Night Chapter 3
Half the Day is Night Chapter 4
Half the Day is Night Chapter 5
Half the Day is Night Chapter 6
Half the Day is Night Chapter 7
Half the Day is Night Chapter 8
Half the Day is Night Chapter 9
Half the Day is Night Chapter 10
Half the Day is Night Chapter 11
Half the Day is Night Chapter 12
Half the Day is Night Chapter 13
Half the Day is Night Chapter 14
Half the Day is Night Chapter 15 (New!)
Half the Day is Night Epilogue (New!)
Alternate Tags: Long, Adventure, Intrigue, Romance, Swashbuckling
208 comments:
Well. This is quite a fascinating story. I like how you characterized the ponies, but in the first chapter, I, for some reason, couldn't help but read Luna's lines in Fluttershy's voice, it just seems to fit. And in chapter 2, Fluttershy running off seems to have taken a lot more time then it should of since you spent a lot of time preparing to find her only to find her in the next minute.
ReplyDeleteBut still. You've got me hooked and I'm really looking forward to reading the next parts. Thanks for the story =)
You did a great job charachterizing Luna. I can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to more of this one
ReplyDeleteGlad folks're liking the story! Just for general info: I'm aiming for 12 chapters, but since I thought originally I'd have them all in Canterlot by the end of chapter 2, I'm thinking it might spread to 15; I'm hoping to do a kind of "Three Musketeers" thing with it; I stole the title from an old science-fiction book I've never read; and I hope to have the next two chapters ready by the end of March.
ReplyDeleteWow one of the best I've read in a while. Good job bro
ReplyDeleteVery well composed, I'll definitely be following this story for updates.
ReplyDeleteVery promising. I'll be watching closely.
ReplyDeleteDamn you cliffhangers!
ReplyDeletebut yes I am loving this story so far
NOOOOooooo don't leave us hanging like this! you big old meanie pants.
ReplyDeleteWow! One of the best stories I've seen posted on here so far! Well done! Great characterizations on everypony and some interesting conflicts. Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDelete@AugieDogI'm aiming for 12 chapters, but since I thought originally I'd have them all in Canterlot by the end of chapter 2, I'm thinking it might spread to 15
ReplyDeleteI have some bad news for you: I've seen this happen before with someone who thought he could do his little tale of a tramp starship captain and a bunch of young stowaways in about 10 chapters.
Now, his WIP file has a comment around what is currently the end of chapter 18 that he thinks he'll be able to make that the end of book 1. (I expect at least a full score before he really starts book 2).
The good news is, like his story, I will eagerly look forward to new content for yours.
Im sorry but did Pinkie Pie just quote "Inception"?
ReplyDeleteI've started looking at this like it's a big long episode. The prologue is the bit before the opening theme song, and the end of chapter 5 here is the first commercial break. The end of chapter 10 will be the second break, then the episode will end with chapter 15. Except maybe there'll be an epilogue...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm aiming for chapters 6 & 7 by April 8th. Glad folks are liking it!
This is a totally awesome story so far. I like the idea of the general populace not quite trusting Luna yet, it opens up all kinds of plots. Can't wait to see what happens next!
ReplyDeleteI just started reading till chapter 3, but I really like it so far. Its easy to ready and I giggled while reading this - not because its scary, but because its so near at the show itself. I really hear the voices and see the actions and even expressions the pony do.
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to more chapters.
@AugieDog
ReplyDelete8th is almost over v:
fortheloveofgodmoar.jpg
I have read until chapter 5.
ReplyDeleteI think this story is shaping up well, but I don't think you're flushing out the political implications of things very well. I also thought the first meeting Luna had with Twilight was incredibly awkward. But overall I am having a lot of fun reading this. Unfortunately I do have to compare it to Goodwill Tour, but it's pretty fun to read still.
Moar!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely my favorite Luna story to date!
ReplyDelete5 Stars!
Chapter 7 was pretty darn epic. I can't wait for the next one.
ReplyDeleteThis just gets awesomer and awesomer.
ReplyDeleteOh my. I haven't read this in a while. I just went and read parts 4-7 in one sitting
ReplyDeleteI'm certainly am impressed at the direction this story has taken! Its just gotten really fun and exciting, I can't wait to see what happens next!
This is getting straight up epic.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely looking forward to more chapters. I don't like seeing Luna this... villainous, even if it's unintentional, but my sentimentality on that issue doesn't prevent me from appreciating this awesome story.
moar boar wants MOAR
ReplyDeleteThis story is starting to be really epic.
I always loved the idea of Luna not entirely loosing evilness of the Nightmare Moon.
5 freaking stars
Dat... alteration with the citizenry.
ReplyDeleteI really like where this is going. The characterization for Luna is very interesting, but I'm not sure I LIKE it, but then again, not everyone LIKES an antagonistic character, haha.
Keep up the good writing.
Yeah, I see Luna as having a smoldery sort of a temper, the kind that festers for a couple thousand years then bursts out in a dark fireball of vengeance. But she's trying not to do that anymore and hopes Our Heroines can help her deal with it.
ReplyDeleteCan they? We shall see! I'm hoping to get chapters 8 and 9 and maybe 10 by Saturday the 16th.
Another excellent couple of chapters! :D
ReplyDeleteLuna's pic is making me shy! <3
ReplyDeleteHuh ?
ReplyDeleteI was almost hearing the characteristic ''DUN-DUUN-Duuun !'', when Fluttershy removed her Ribbon...
But I guess Rarity has many of them...
...but didn't Pinky Pie almost made a scene when (don't remember who) wanted to give its own Ribbon to one of the other ?
Weren't they ''special'' ?
Also... a bit heavy on Applejack accent in the last 2 chapters.
Still loving it! The story is good and orginal, just the way I like it!
ReplyDelete@nova_25
ReplyDeleteAbout the ribbons: based on the way Applejack always knows where to be at the right time and Pinkie's twitches, I decided that earth ponies were sorta the Sherlock Holmeses of the pony set, able to notice details and pick up on things that other ponies don't.
It's a subconscious kind of thing, especially for Pinkie. So, yes, as soon as she sees the ribbons, she knows they're important. So just doesn't why. So she makes up this whole weird story about them in her Pinkie Pie way. As for their actual importance, that's coming up!
Still enjoying this story! Great action and intrigue!
ReplyDeleteThe action scenes is this are amazing.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Fluttershy got to be a badass you weaponized the Stare and Fluttershy went all badass and now WATERFALL.
ReplyDeleteMy own words can't describe how much I'm looking forward to the next chapter so I will turn to an expert:
"Yay."
Cliffhanger!
ReplyDelete*angrily shakes fist*
Loving the story keep going!
I was reading some MLP comic strips and I thought "Hey, I wonder if there's any fanfiction around these parts?" And so I browsed and I found a story by the very unassuming name "Cupcakes" and boy howdy I don't even want to think about that for very long and then I found some nicer ones and then I found this and now the only reason I'm sad is because I can't read anymore of this delicious series! Yay! I can't wait for you to keep proving that fanfiction can have literary merit. (Unlike some other stories)
ReplyDelete@AugieDog
ReplyDeleteI'd like to contact you, could you drop me a line? Contact info on my profile :)
I love this story. Especially chapter 10!
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job of getting the Pinkie Point of View just right. You really climbed right into her head and set up a tasteful living room with cute little frilly doilies on all the tables and chair arms.
The Rarity part was great too -- Action, yay!
I keep forgetting to leave a comment saying how awesome this story is. So, here we go.
ReplyDeleteThis story is awesome.
And that's pretty much all I have to say about that.
...
...well, since you asked, I'll elaborate. My favorite part about this story is not even so much the gripping plot or the spot-on characterization, but more the life you've imbued into the city of Canterlot. The additions of the agencies created by Celestia to help her run day and night are, logistically speaking, brilliant on your part, and serve as a perfectly understandable source of contention between Luna and the residents of the city. Everything about the city and its inhabitants is thoughtfully written to the point that I'd say it would make believable canon.
And that's not to say anything against the rest of the story either. The pacing is pitch-perfect and the dialogue, probably the toughest thing to get right out of all the aspects of MLP fan fiction, is right on the money as well. I'm actually finding it hard to think of something I can concrit about...guess I'll just have to keep reading and wait for you to screw up so I can help out then. Although considering what I've seen already, I don't expect I'll be given the opportunity.
Five stars from me. Keep up the good work.
Aces, 5 stars.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason my brain plays Stay by U2 when I read this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments, folks! Chapter 11 is kicking me in the head pretty hard, but I hope to have it edited down into something readable by Wednesday, then it's on to chapter 12!
ReplyDeleteI noticed one spot in chapter 11 where you used the word "desert" instead of "dessert", just a heads up. I love the story by the way.
ReplyDeleteI'm loving this. Everyone seems in character, yet they all have important parts to play and things they have done/will do. Keep it up!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteThanks for the spelling heads-up. With chapter 11, I'm surprised every word in it isn't misspelled. This one was just a bear and a half!
This chapter seems like it kind of cut off abruptly, but on a second read I realized just how much happened. Gosh.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I really liked Dash being the one to finally just start rehiring some of the old Night Ministry.
ah ya dash is a balla. ♥
ReplyDeleteHuh. Oh well, being a Prince and all, I'm sure he'll manage.
ReplyDelete@Aquaman52
ReplyDeleteYa, what he said.
Oh yeah, tan the hide of Prince Dickface
ReplyDeleteDash: "YOU MO-RON, YOU DO NOT QUESTION MY ORDERS! WHEN I SAY JUMP YOU JUMP! WHEN I SAY FLY YOU FLY! WHEN I TEL YOU TO DIE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PRINCESS THEN YOU WILL MOST CERTANLY DIE! HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?
Most excellent. I have a hard time keeping up with everything that I like about this story. I suppose I'm most impressed by how well the voices of the different characters come through, and the mature prose. And the storyline is pretty damn intriguing, of course.
ReplyDeletethis truly is a wonderful peice. i do enjoy the refrences to other pieces of fanfic and the show. a truly great work, as much a mystery novel as a wonderful fanfic. i saw no rememerable grammatical errors, which is always a plus. i love the way it also cycles between different ponies perspectives. i can't wait to read the rest of it...
ReplyDeleteGreat so far. Loved it. awesome plot, character development, pacing, and description of settings.
ReplyDeleteThat being said.
Moar Boar wants Moar plox.
Thank you and good day.
I! LOVE! THIS! I just could *NOT* put it down, and I can't wait to see Chapter 12!
ReplyDeleteMy Little Pony: Fanfic is Awesome!
This story is very enjoyable--so much so, that this is the standard by which I measure all other MLP fanfic---and most, I'm afraid, fall woefully short.
ReplyDeleteThis fanfic reminds me a lot of the classic Sailor Moon fic "Senshi Prime." Ever heard of it?
Anyway, I really appreciate the work you put into this story. It's great how everyone is totally in character, yet all expanding their skills and circle of influence.
Are you going to show where Celestia is? It'd be interesting to know where on earth someone like her would go and what she would do on vacation. Just sip tropical drinks on a beach?
I'm very much looking forward to further installments. You get an Internet!!
@Adrienne
ReplyDeleteCelestia's location is a closely-held state secret, and something I won't get into until maybe the Epilogue after chapter 15. I've never gotten into fanfic before FiM, so I'm don't know the Sailor Moon one you mention.
But thanks again, all you folks, for the comments! I'm aiming for Thursday or Friday with chapter 12.
Excelent. Well done. Absolutely fantastic story and the plot is... My goth what a great work of literature.
ReplyDelete8/10.
Keep the good work.
I'm so totally loving the whole political intrigue aspect of this fic. Reads just like a spy triller.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
Aaaaand I spelled 'thriller' wrong. Whee.
ReplyDeleteAwesome ! When I told you that I was watching the show for the PLOT...
ReplyDeleteThis just keeps getting better and better. I don't know what else to say. Except...I think my favorite bit so far, character-wise anyway, was when Rarity and Res kissed. I'm a hopeless romantic, and that scene was just so excellently done.
ReplyDeleteI must agree with several of the other posters - we just cannot tell you how awesome this story is enough times. It is just THAT awesome.
ReplyDeleteAll of your characters are PERFECTLY matched to their correct personalities (the part inside Pinkie Pie's head was particularly amazing), and characters that you created and developed have rich personalities that go well with the show's overall style.
Your development of Canterlot is AMAZING, it reminded me of the detail that some of my favorite fantasy authors put into the daily lives and layouts of each citizen. You've taken essentially the 3-4 small clips that the show provided and expanded them into an functional city that feels real (about the only thing I could even suggest to improve your series is a map and some drawings of the locations described - I'm sure the more artistically skilled Bronies would have no trouble taking your extremely detailed setting and drawing it).
Your plot so far is amazing - it keeps me wanting more (this has become a problem now that I've spent a wonderful afternoon finishing this). And it feels natural to the series, it doesn't introduce any radically new (and questionably non-canon) concepts, but works from interpony relations to create the problem and plot development.
Once you finish this, I really hope you bring your completed work to the attention of the producers of the show. This is essentially a ready-made movie for them, requiring next to nothing in editing for general release (just one minor scratch with blood to change) and it would likely have a PG rating (and would be enjoyable to the show's original target audience, even though 10-20x more Bronies would show up). From the length, it would also seem to fit well into a 80-100 minute general framework for animation nowadays.
I truly hope you don't dismiss this as just idle praise - I'm serious about how perfect this would be for a movie, and hope you pursue it (and to other readers of this comment, weigh in on this as well). It is rare that I find any fanfiction to be even worth reading, and rarer still that I feel it necessary to give it such praise.
Keep up the great work on this amazing tale, and keep us informed of any others you work on. I will bookmark this page and check it daily eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
Your newly devoted fan,
GhostWolf
I really love this story, it is one of the fics on this site that I rank among the best. The characterizations are spot on and the changing perspective is really well done. As other's have said you have perfectly captured Pinkie's internal monologue.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy when authors are descriptive with their settings. and I love your vision of Canterlot. Its geography, architecture, social structure and the Polotics that govern it. The plot of political intrigue creates a nice atmosphere that creates drama and excitement without getting violent or filled with to much crazy action.
I await the continuation.
I noticed a word choice error in chapter 12, I think. You said Applejack started "pleating her mane". If you meant 'braiding', the word is 'plaiting'.
ReplyDeleteA pleat is a fold in a piece of cloth, like a pleated skirt. I've never heard the term applied to hair.
Thanks again, folks, and thanks, Escher, for the catch: I've gone in and fixed it. I'm aiming to get chapter 13 up here by next weekend, May 30th at the latest.
ReplyDeleteOh, and if you're looking for more stuff I've written hereabouts, GhostWolf, I've got Pinkie Pie's Evil Twin, which may someday be the prologue to something much larger, an entry in the last 300 word story event called A Mug's Game and an entry from the April Fools' contest called Pony of a Different Color.
It's only 1am, I'll have a quick look through see if it's worth a read... Oh, when did it become 4am?...
ReplyDeleteI always hate reaching the end after reading so much. I just can't wait for more.
Gosh I just read them all in one go and it's somehow past 2AM. It's an awesome read, can't wait for more :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great story.
ReplyDeleteOne of the interesting things about it is watching the characters exercise their special talents in a more complicated environment than the TV show has had to offer, in service of a much lengthier and involved story than half-hour episodes allow. And watching Applejack take a page from {{Columbo}}'s book as she sets the keen mind hidden behind an unassuming exterior to help solve a potentially deadly mystery is just as much a treat as one of her apple fritters.
The story also offers one of the more nuanced depictions of Princess Luna, keeping her at the uncomfortable distance that her godlike nature and thousand years of exile would have induced, but giving her plenty of room for further character development. The only annoying thing about it is that it isn't finished yet!
Though I really do wish it would go up on fanfiction.net rather than Google Documents. FF is a lot easier to read and less likely to cause my browser to crash.
@Chris Meadows
ReplyDeleteI've had no luck registering an account at fanfiction.net. I don't think their machine works well with AOL email accounts. But I'm slowly getting the chapters up at augiedogtales.blogspot.com along with some non-Pony writing I've been doing the past few months.
@Anonymous (in re bringing the completed work to the producers of the show):
ReplyDeleteDon't we all wish that were possible! But show creators are notorious for not wanting to read fanfic lest they be legally liable, and they generally don't look at spec scripts. Sadly, fanfic is going to stay fanfic.
But it's still perfectly enjoyable that way!
Downloaded this and stuck it on my Kindle to read. That was an error, turns out lunch breaks aren't meant to last two hours...
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, gripping storyline, pitch perfect characters, expansion of the world whilst remaining faithful to it; all wrapped up in a smooth writing style which rarely gets in the way.
And I LOVED that part with Dash and the Night Guard, so much so that when the focus changed I was genuinely gutted. Sucker for loyalty/redemption, I suppose!
And a strong contender for Best Luna Ever, definitely. Not quite up there with Abacus Luna, but then, what could be...
More please :)
Read chapters one to twelve last night and I have do say.. I didn't like it.
ReplyDeleteI loved it!
A magnificent piece! It's beautifully written and so transparent! I forgot about reading, time and everything else around me, it was just me and the story! Looking forward to the next chapters so much!
Son of a bitch. You would update this just as I was about to go to sleep, you bastard. Now I have to read it!
ReplyDeleteChapter 13 was awesome!
ReplyDeleteEach chapter is better than the last. Fluttershy was spot on, and I can't wait for more.
ReplyDeleteI liked this a lot, as illustrated by the fact that I just read all 13 chapters straight through! The two most important things an author needs to do win writing fan fiction are get the personalities of the established characters correct and place them in a situation that is believable within the scope of the universe, and you nailed both. I particularly enjoyed seeing a glimpse into the mind of Pinkie during her sections, they were spot on! Sorry if I'm rambling, I've been up all night lol
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing story. It is the best MLP fan fic I have read. From the spot on characterizations to the changing perspectives. You have expanded on the universe in a believable way that does not contradict anything. I love your depiction of Luna, I find it the most realistic depiction of her. The plot of political intrigue and suspense is fascinating. Keep up the great work.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
To GhostWolf, I agree. As I was reading this story I thought about how it could be made into a movie or mini series. But it is very unlikely that that will happen. There are just to much legality to get around. That is why production staff stay away from fan fiction. Even if they write a episode that is similar to, or references something from a fan made story, they have the legal grounds to say that it was coincidence. Not to mention the how legal fan fiction is to begin with.
That is not to say it is impossible. There was an episode of Power Rangers that was based on a fan submitted script.
The best we can hope for is Hasbro opening a contest for fan made episode scripts, AugieDog submits it, and they (the production staff and the Hasbro execs) like it so much they don't care that it would not fit into a 22 minute episode, and make it into a movie or short mini series.
Chapter 13 was excellent. Wow. Only the second day, and everypony is already in so deep! It'll be interesting to see what will happen with Orry and Rarity in the end. I personally don't feel he is 100% innocent/trustworthy.
ReplyDeleteI like your description in this chapter of Fluttershy's point of view, and your description of her and Luna's relationship is so sweet and natural.
Oh, and you did an excellent job on the intensity of that scene in the end when the traitors panicked and Rainbow Dash had to bolt after Commander Rigel. No pony can out-fly RD!! You wrote very accurately Rainbow Dash's ability to take in information and spring into action immediately.
I really appreciate the work you put into these chapters, and this may be my favorite one yet! As I said before, this story is a serious contender for best fan fiction I've ever read, especially given how consistently good it is over so many epic yet intimate chapters. Eagerly anticipating more.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've looked into the issues surrounding it a bit more, and sadly it is more difficult than I thought. I would have expected that all it would take would be a paycheck and a place on the credits as the writer to make it into a movie.
Based on the recent video and awareness that the producers have of the fandom, I don't think the contest would be completely impossible, although they may have been frighted off by a certain well known baked bads story.
The idea of having a movie appeals to me, since I can do little to financially support the series and the creators (I've already purchased the show, and unfortunately no other official merchandise appeals to me), but movie sales would be a good source of income for them (and one that I would end up contributing to several times), particularly since its only slightly more expensive than 3x episodes production-wise, and would generate more money than ad revenue (I wonder how much Hasbro makes from ads vs. merchandise sales - actually they may make money directly from HUB and HUB gets the ad revenue - no idea, I've never read up on the TB industry).
Anyway, chapter 13 was another epic chapter. I thoroughly enjoy re-reading all the previous chapters each time a new one comes out. Thank you AugieDog once again for this and your other fan fiction, it is a enjoyable way to spend time waiting for season 2.
-GhostWolf
This is by far the most intriguing pony story ever!
ReplyDeleteThe suspense is just right, leaving us on the brink of catching the villain and letting em slip! Great story telling here!
I'm dying to read the next installment!
Take your time and do it right!
Hope this won't be ending anytime soon!
Thanks again, folks! Chapter 14's likely to be the longest yet--like Seth says at the top, the whole thing's 15 chapters with prologue and epilogue--and I'm aiming for June 10th for that.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Ory/Rarity (Ority!) is too cute.
ReplyDeleteNo, really. It's literally too cute. This cannot end well. Something awful is going to happen to Ory, or else he'll turn out to be a traitor (at which point, return to option 1). I know how these things work, Augie! I'm on to you!
In other news: While I love the story, I'm kind of put off by your stylistic choices -- font and so on. Did you purposely decide to write this as if on an old-school typewriter, with underlines instead of italics and double-spaced lines and that hideous fixed-width Courier font?
Did you purposely shun Arial or TNR? Do you have something against block paragraphs and italics?
I can live with it, obviously, but it does seem like a strange decision.
The guy who first told me about FiM is an actual gets-paid-for-his-stuff writer--he had a review of the show published a couple weeks back on the sci-fi website Strange Horizons, for instance, and has a couple stories due out in some SF and fantasy anthologies later this year. And ten years ago, he said he'd read and comment on anything I sent him as long as it was in the old standard manuscript style: Courier New 12pt. doubled-space with a five character indent at the start of each paragraph, ragged right margins, underlining for emphasis and all that. So I've been using it ever since.
ReplyDeleteI know that's the standard manuscript editor formatting (gives them lots of room to write notes and make corrections with a pen on the printout), but ... well, I dunno about anyone else, but it's kind of a pain to read for me. :D
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't even know how much editors still use that style, with the increasing use of digital editing software. Seems like a business that hangs on its traditions, though.
I've read a number of well-written MLP fanfiction that I've liked, but your story is my favorite of all of them so far. You've got a writing style that is enjoyable and well-composed, the characterization feels spot-on, and the plot is interesting and leaves me wanting more.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! Can't wait for the next chapter!
June 10th?
ReplyDeleteAwww man exams start on the 10th!!!!!!
Never mind
pony is important!!!!
Did you name Rigel just after the star, or was it a veiled reference to the traitor squadron from Ace Combat Joint Assault? Or something else?
ReplyDeleteOkay, I just read the entire thing so far and I really enjoyed. And there are a few things I want to say:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, like @Escher said, Ory and Rarity are really cute, and part of me fears that it's just too good to last. And while we're on the subject, has Spike found out about them yet?
It took what, 10 chapters to finish the first day, and you say this will only be 15 chapters long? Are they going to get everything wrapped up on the second day and have five days to relax or something?
I love the way you write Pinkie Pie. The parts told from her point of view are fantastic.
I can't really imagine Luna doing any of this. In my mind I always imagine her in Nightmare Moon form. It's more for the appearance than the personality though. This is probably partially because of the way some other fanfics have portrayed Luna *cough*progress*cough*, and also because Nightmare Moon looks more regal, like Celestia, than Luna does. And you do mention her mane flowing like Celestia's, which Nightmare Moon's did but Luna's doesnt.
And finally, I want a ribbon to show my support for Luna!
Ok to start off, this is Hardcover book quality, the font and "old standard manuscript style" just add to the appeal. Your use of the established cast is spot on, and all the story created characters have a very "Real" feel to them making for a solid cast overall. The setting is wonderfully described and easily pictured while reading. If Hasbro were to make an adult Brony aimed marketing line, than this as a film with little to no changes would fit wonderfully and sell quite well as I believe it has a definite direct to PG rated DVD feel.
ReplyDeleteAnd so I, like many others await the final (as many as needed) chapters of this truly epic tale you have woven for us Augie Dog, and thus salute you for all your hard work and effort you put into your writing.
Thanks as always, folks. As for some of the recent questions: Rigel is just named after the star; Spike learns about Ory in chapter 14, but then that's the chapter where everything happens--it even starts with another section from Pinkie's point of view, always the most fun to write!
ReplyDeleteBut, yeah, chapter 14 wraps up the main "running around and doing stuff" plot, chapter 15 wraps up the characters stuff and rest of the week in Canterlot, and the Epilogue, like the Prologue, is a scene between Celestia and Luna.
And then we all live happily ever after!
This is an excellent story. Though I'm not a fan of this characterization of Luna, it serves its purpose in this story quite well. I await the conclusion, though, like others have pointed out, I can't help but feel that it's going to feel abrupt. Perhaps this won't be just 15 chapters? I set out writing a three chapter story and now I'm hoping I can finish it in 6. The writing process can take you into very interesting directions.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this needs to be 6 stars! A perfect 5.0 with 111 votes! I've noticed a couple of other worthy fics that need to be recognized as well.
ReplyDeleteThis is easily one of the best works I've ever read on the internet, and I've read a lot of webfiction. I especially love how you extend the characters above and beyond what twenty-six episodes left us with. You stayed true to each and every character, but at the same time, made them your own -- it's not the same exact mane six that we originally fell in love with, and I mean that in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, this is absolutely astounding, and I'm really looking forward to the next few installments. ^.^
I'll just keep saying thanks and restate the whole 15 chapters with a prologue and epilogue thing. Of course, chapters 14 and 15 are likely to be 7000 words apiece, but still... :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I finally got an activation email back from fanfiction.net, so those of you who prefer reading stuff over there can find it at Half the Day is Night. I've got the first act up so far, but the rest will follow soon enough!
Hrm.
ReplyDeleteEveryone really got to do something except for Twilight.
@ a href #c5752961779302960077 >Anonymous /a>
ReplyDeleteThat's basically the one quibble I'd have with this story. Every other member of the main cast got at least one good "spotlight" moment except for Twilight. It's not enough to significantly detract from the story, mind you, but it's something I noticed too.
Probably the BEST thing about this story, as far as I'm concerned, is AugieDog's interpretation of Pinkie Pie which is probably the best one out of any fic I've read. No crazy fourth-wall breaking, no zaniness for the sake of zaniness, no deep psychological scars...just a (Pinkie) keen insight into the things that make people happy or sad and a joyously hyperactive worldview that's about 30-degrees off-kilter from everyone else but still manages to make complete sense once you unravel it. If nothing else this story deserves 6 stars for that alone.
Pinkie Pie is such a treat to read about in this story. I <3 this interpretation so much. It's like you toned her down a notch but at the same time turned her up a notch. That's the best way I can explain it. She knows exactly what needs to be done or said to brighten a situation, and *that* is Pinkie Pie in a nutshell.
ReplyDeleteOne complaint about chapter 14. A few pages from the end you wrote "Since it was a new moon tonight, Fluttershy wasn't scared of how dark it was in the garden." Shouldn't that say "full moon?"
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that this is by far one of the best fics I've had the pleasure to read ^-^
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Augie
Thanks again for another wonderful chapter!
ReplyDelete-GhostWolf
Hurray! Eventual happy ending! I like happy endings~
ReplyDelete@Heireau
ReplyDeleteI like happy endings, too. But this story is so good, I wish it wouldn't end.
Yay new chapter! I'll have to read this later tonight.
ReplyDeleteRe: Twilight - Her role in the story, to quote the lady herself, is "organization." But I'll also remind folks that there's still one more chapter to come...
ReplyDeleteRe: Pinkie - The whole story starts out with 3 and a half chapters in Twilight's point of view 'cause she's the pony I find easiest to write. Pinkie, though, it took me a while to get an angle on her that I could work with. But once I did, I found her parts the most fun to write.
Re: Fluttershy and the new moon in the garden - I'll take a look at that. I know I meant something when I wrote it, but I can't think what right now!
Glad folks are enjoying it!
Dear sir. This story is Awesome thank you for writing it.
ReplyDeletePS. Pinkie.... dear lord she got a confession with a PARTY! How does that even WORK!?!?! I loved it!
OMG this is exciting! I just read all 14 chapters in a row *took a good 2 to 3 hours :D* and I like how Luna is changing more into Celestia's form over time I can just imagine how beautiful she must look :) I soooo cant wait for chapter 15!
ReplyDeleteAn excellent climax, as I expected. However, I do have a few quibbles about how things ended up working out.
ReplyDeleteFor one, I think the setup and Pinkie's redemption party at the beginning of this chapter were longer than they had to be. Also, I don't think it was a good idea to have Applejack figure out the perpetrator by gut feeling. It's just a bit cheap, and I wish the gang had gotten to do more detective work and or that we'd have been shocked by the revelation.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOnce again I have to say that this is probably my favorite story on the site. If any story deserves the 6-Star rating it is this one. Every character got spotlighted (even if Twilight's were clustered in the early chapters, though you could still feel her presence throughout) and contributed equally to the plot. These are the best characterizations of the Mane cast I have seen in any Fan fic, especially Pinkie Pie who is probably the hardest of the ponies to get just right. I think @Anonymous said it best.
ReplyDeleteEach chapter is expertly written. I find myself loving the story more and more with each installment. I love your description of Canterlot, from its geography to its architecture (especially liked how you added in the waterfalls that can be seen in the in Chapters 10,11) to its populous, culture, and polotics. You are descriptive without being overly wordy, giving enough for the reader to complete the picture.
The story builds on the world without clashing with the tone or feel of the show. Everything flows naturally and just seems to fit. I find it hard to describe just how good I think this story is. And though it can be sad to see such a good story nearing the finnish I am even happier to see it come to a proper conclusion and happy ending without dragging on forever.
I wait expectantly for the final chapter and epilogue.
I must say that, in the last chapter, the ''Revelation scene'' of Lady Stargazer was simply excellent. :)
ReplyDeleteThe slow, yet steady progression in reveling the known facts to the culprit, who in turn realise that everything have crashed, while the Son become aware of the acts of his mother. Denial of the mother, the shame and regrets that her Son had to find out... and other details and subtle stuff. ;)
Yeah. Interesting end for this chapter.
I just realized something. Twilight is the Minister of Magic now, isn't she?
ReplyDelete:)
@The Letter J: That hadn't occurred to me, either. Harry Potter crossovers for everyone!
ReplyDelete@SomeGuy and Nova25: Thanks! I'm hoping to get chapter 15 and the epilogue both in to Sethisto before the end of June.
@Number Six: One of my theories is that earth ponies are highly intuitive. They subconsciously notice things that lead them to make connections and draw conclusions more easily and correctly than pegasi and unicorns. With Applejack, this expreses itself as "gut feelings" while Pinkie has her twitches, her unconscious mind sending signals through her body to convey information that her conscious mind is usually unaware of.
I have a lot of theories... :)
Oh, well, I'm not saying this particular theory is implausible or anything, I just kind of think it weakens the narrative a bit to hinge such a big thing on largely baseless intuition.
ReplyDeleteJust a note on the passing of the actor Peter Falk. As some folks have mentioned in comments, I based a lot of Applejack's qualities as a detective on Falk's old TV show "Columbo"--including the way the mystery isn't really a mystery for most of the program...
ReplyDeleteI gotta say that I really enjoyed this story. The ways that the characters were portrayed were excellent. Pinkie Pie especially. The plot was also pretty damn good. After getting to Chapter 3, my immediate thought upon finishing a chapter was "Oh thank god, there's more." The first thing I've done everyday upon getting on EqD for the last 2 weeks was to see if the final installment was posted. Can't wait to read the final piece. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteBtw, do you have any other stories on here? I'd love to read them if you did.
I had a similar theory about Earth Ponies. Earth Pony "magic" is more subtle and intuitive then Unicorn or Pegasus. They sense the world around them and can, in some cases, affect it (i.e. the running of the leaves). And with Applejack and Pinkie Pie being the Elements of Honesty and Laughter respectively that sense is in overdrive (especially with Pinkie).
ReplyDeleteIn this story AJ's senses were telling her that Lady Stargazer was lying through her teeth. Like a living lie detector AJ can pick up on the subtle body language that indicate whether somepony is being honest or not. She new Phillipa was the guilty party but like she said at the meeting during night and the next morning she had no real evidence to back up her suspicions.
Pinkie's special tallent is making other's smile through her parties. So she would have to be observant as to what makes people happy or sad. It may be subtle but she can pick up on the minute changes in behavior (the way a pony loks at someone or something) to determine if it makes them happy or sad and thus plan her parties accordingly.
On a slightly unrelated note I like the way you ended Chapter 14. No The Stare, for The Stare was not necessary. Phillipa was not a monster or a truly evil pony. She was hurt, angry and sad. She did what she thought was right. She was not a bad dragon... er pony she just make a bad mistake. Fluttershy new that a motherly reprimand was not what needed at this juncture but rather a kind shoulder to cry on.
Another thing, I like how you subtly describe the change in Luna's appearance through out the story. Becoming not necessarily more like Celestia but rather more like the full Alicorn she was ment to be.
ReplyDeleteCelestia did not orchestrate these events but probably suspected that her departure would cause something to happen. Something that would force her sister and the city to realize the mistakes they have made and to reconnect and become friends. Having Twilight and the gang around didn't hurt either. As Luna became more happy, comfortable and confident her true form would show itself. An Alicorn's form is not just a reflection of their power but also their self image and emotional state. Is that what you were going for?
Sorry for all the multiple comments Ideas are just popping into my head.
ReplyDeleteAugiedog, I was re-watching "The Best Night Ever" yesterday and I realized that you may have inadvertently stumbled on something cannon before it has even been reviled. Durring the main song when they are showing the exterior of Canterlot Castle there are two promenant structures visible. One with a gold dome roof with a sun on top of a spire and one with deep blue dome roof decorated with stars. The Day and Night Palaces maybe?
I was just thinking about the angle you took regarding the noble titles of Canterlot. I actually wouldn't be surprised if they required Celestia to marry into the family to get the castle and such after Everfree got nuked*.
ReplyDeleteIt would be kind of funny if they were just Celestia and Luna before, and the Princess title came from Canterlot after Luna was banished!
* I like to assume that the Everfree forest was caused by Celestia and Nightmare Moon's battle, since their castle is in the middle of it.
Great story! One of the few that expand on the show while still maintaining that TONE of the series. Thoroughly enjoyable!
ReplyDeleteIt's done!
ReplyDeleteIt all took a couple days longer than I thought, but chapter 15 and the epilogue--nearly 10,000 words!--are in the updating queue, Sethisto tells me. Sometime July 4th, then, I'd guess, you can read the whole story from stem to stern!
AWESOME!
ReplyDeletelooking forward to the ending!
Many thanks for the awesome story Augie!
Keep up the good work!
Actually, checking my e-mail this morning, I see one from Our Blog Pony saying the ending'll be up tonight "during prime time since it's the finale." Anticipation!
ReplyDeleteIf I had to nit pick at one little thing it'd be there should've be a little more clouser, but the rest of the story was fantastic. hope it dosn't stop here.
ReplyDeleteWheeeee!
ReplyDeleteScrew work, this is more important! -_-
lol I was just thinking about this story today...
ReplyDelete*hops off to go read*
Oh man, that epilogue hit me hard.
ReplyDeleteThat was absolutely beautiful.
indeed, the epilogue just sews it all up. And it is VERY nice to see someone make a happy ending for the Ponyverse's two immortals....
ReplyDeleteManly tears were shed with the ending of this great story.
ReplyDeleteAwesome work bronie, awesome work!!
Half The Day Is Night, or what of it existed, was one of the first fanfics I've read, right after watching the episodes and deciding I did like ponies after all.
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is: THANK YOU. Thank you for writing this dazzling, vibrant, exciting and funny story and sharing it with all of us. It's been a novel-length ride with just enough of a wait between chapters to stoke the anticipation and make each installment all the more exciting.
I could go on for a long time about the amazing things you wrote and the pitch perfect voices of the characters and all my favourite scenes (there are a lot), but it would far exceed the boundaries of a blogger comment to give this work the appreciation and critique it deserves.
Instead, let me congratulate you on the life you breathed into this, all of this - your vision of Equestria is marvelous and exciting, and I hope you will continue to share it with us in other stories. Also, even when I thought I'd seen the ending coming a mile away, you still managed to surprise me in the best of ways.
So long, and thanks for the good times.
That was a wonderful end to a brilliant story.
ReplyDeleteBravo.
Epilogue had me choked up a little. Dialogue was engaging throughout can't wait to see what you have next.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I can say it much better than Tricane did.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this wonderful read and all around amazing piece of fan fiction.
Ended perfectly. Such an amazing story, certainly one of the stories I'm glad I caught up with half way through.
ReplyDeleteTo make an long story and keep everything faithful to the original material can be hard the longer it goes on, but you held it all together.
Thank you.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!
ReplyDeleteIT UPDATED AND COMPLETED!
Oh you made my day, I can't wait till I can read the thing. Can't contain my anticipation either.
That epilogue was such a nice touch. A perfect ending to an amazing story.
ReplyDeleteA thoroughly enjoyable read. I loved how you tied the last chapter with everyponies points of view and the epilogue was a great way to solve the immortal vs. mortal pony friendship problem.
ReplyDeleteA fantastic end to a fantastic story. All the events were wrapped up smoothly with happy endings for all involved. The epilogue was so sweet, I got misty eyed. It is (almost surprisingly) so rare to find multi-part pony fanfics that maintain the tone and feel of the show, with happy endings, especially when they involve the princesses.
ReplyDeleteAugiedog you have crafted a masterful piece of fan fiction. I wont spend day all gushing about all the things I liked about it here (I've already done that in previous comments) so I'll just say thank-you. Thank-you for taking the time to write this wonderful tale. I look forward to reading whatever stories you come-up with next.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story and I to see more stories by you in the fuure.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done! This story is not only loads of fun and keeps all of the cast well within typical behaviour, it also preserves the TONE of the series, which is beyond admirable.
ReplyDeleteBravo!
Best epilogue ever. The whole immortal thing always depressed me, so including a pony afterlife to make everything that had gone before all the sweeter is my absolute favorite thing about this fic. Thank you so much for a wonderful story, and I hope you do another one someday.
ReplyDeleteYes. Yes! A thousand times YES!
ReplyDeleteI loved the concept of the Grove(s?). It's a sweeter solution than 'they live on in your hearts'. Much more fun to be able to forge NEW memories with them to treasure in addition to the old!
I hope to see more of your work in the future, Augiedog!
This story deserves a seventh star. It really does.
ReplyDeleteCall me a wet noodle, but the epilogue was really out of place with the rest of the story. The story itself was great, but the last bit seemed forced.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, wonderful, inspirational ... and a great ending. The epilogue made it all the more touching.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for this, its made my day.
Its over..
ReplyDeleteyou know what I'm going to do?
I'm gonna take all the chapters and put them in to one document and read them again... and again..
XD
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH for this amazing story!
and that epilogue...
Holy crap I nearly cried...!
The epilogue may not have fit much with the rest of the story, but I'm officially considering The Groves fanon. That's quite possibly one of the best immortality solutions I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the first fanfics for this fandom I read. I'm kinda sad it's over, but it ended perfectly. Throughout the whole story, the momentum of awesomeness was never lost. I can't wait to see your future works and am keeping a hyperlink to this story on my desktop.
I absolutely LOVED this!
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, if people would like to download this as an e-book suitable for reading on Kindle, Nook, iBooks, or whatever other device or program you have, right-click and copy the link from fanfiction.net and visit the fanfiction downloader to paste it in.
ReplyDeleteI'm really going to miss this fic. Well done, Well done. And hopes for another to come.
ReplyDeleteI just couldn't take it when I got to this part:
ReplyDeleteAnd Rarity's first kiss was exactly as perfect as she'd always knoHNNNNNNNNNNNG
Thank you for a fantastic story. My only complaint is that the last few days were rather rushed, but it didn't really detract from anything.
ReplyDeleteAnd I choose to believe that Rarity and Ory will live happily ever after.
...I still want to get a ribbon for Luna.
I would like to thank you for writing this fanfic. It is one of the most consistently adorable, sweet, funny, and generally entertaining works of fiction I have seen come out of the FiM fandom, and I'm so terribly happy to have read it. I'm actually rather sad that it's over, for all that you have brought it to a satisfying and saccharine conclusion, and I hope to see further works from you in the future. :)
ReplyDeleteSo awesome.
A great end to an amazing story. This is the first fan fiction I read when I came to ED, I'm sad to see it has ended. I'll be awaiting your next work.
ReplyDeleteI have one question though, what happens to the ponies who die that weren't friends, or friends of friends with Luna or Celestia?
All ponies completely in character, all the elements represented beautifully, a plot woven just so, and Rarity finding her prince (squee). 6 stars indeed. Oh, and Luna assuming her true godly form, that's good too. :)
ReplyDeleteManly tears were shed at the end. Well done.
ReplyDelete@Flak
ReplyDeleteThey go to pony hell :P
I'm sure they just go to another grove somewhere, in a manner that's right for them, just over that ridge there.
This story, all 15 chapters of it, wonderful! It was dashing, daring, and at the same time it felt so good to see Luna be more and more restored to her rightful place as co-ruler of Equestria, bit by bit. 5/5 for this!
ReplyDeleteBut that epilogue... as they say on the internet, manly tears were shed! Bravo, splendid!
Whoa, if it wasn't the best, then it's tied for the best story I've ever read, mass publicized of otherwise. That's me giving you praise equal to or better than Harry freaking Potter, Augiedog. This was amazing and I'm glad I didn't start reading until after it was complete, because I probably would have died if I had to wait for a chapter. Also, epilogue, a happy ending to an otherwise dismal subject. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Absolutely beautiful, and enthralling, and amazing, and all the superlatives I can possibly throw at you. Fantastic.
ReplyDeletePlease keep writing. Please!
...also, a sequel might be nice :D
She didn't necessarily say that only the friends-of-friends got to go to the Grove at all, just that those are the sleepers she sees at the entry.
ReplyDeleteOr, perhaps, this is the Elysian Fields, and "unfriended" ponies go to something like the Asphodel Meadows of greek myth.
Or maybe they get reincarnated, and the Grove is Nirvana. Take your pick.
You know, I actually like that last idea a lot. Anypony that doesn't have a connection to the rest of them goes back to try again, until they form a friendship with someone who is already "in".
ReplyDeleteNo one is a stranger in the Grove, and that's the true Magic of Friendship.
Ch.15 :
ReplyDelete>The presence of Ory's sisters had been an unexpected plus, nine fillies
-He has NINE sisters ?! Wow... talk about ''busy'' family. (I don't recall if it had been said in a previous chapter ?)
>"The Inestimable Pinkie Pie!"
-Yay ;). Also... a card you say ? Mmh...
Epilogue :
As interesting as this part is... It doesn't really feel like an epilogue, really ?
Or, at least it doesn't feel like the epilogue FOR that story... ?
I mean, it's good and all, but aren't epilogues supposed to focus on closing holes and plot points of the actual story... rather than ''exposing'' new elements and details ?
(Note : Personally, I liked the idea of that ''Grove'', even though some fine-tuning of the idea might be in order, for it to truly work)
See what I mean ?
... Anyway ...
All in all, this was a pretty interesting story...
Main cast had good roles and good characters...
And other good stuff that I must have said in previous comments...
Also : Pinky Pie Party, it solves everything ;)
Just read this story in one sitting. Augiedog, thank you so much for giving us this beautiful tale! :)
ReplyDeleteCall me a romanticist, but Rarity and Ory not having a "happy ending" almost killed the story for me. But then I realized that this story was too great to be killed by anything. Still gets 5 stars in my book, but I leave the story wishing it could be different. I loved the way that this was written and it really felt like I could see everything going on and hear the ponies talking in their own voices. Masterfully done.
ReplyDelete@Anon, why in the world do you feel they didn't have a happy ending? They're happy, they're able to be together practically as much as they want...
ReplyDeleteFrom experience, long-distance relationships aren't that hard to pull off when you're willing to work for them.
P.S... 6-Stars.
I almost cried at the epilogue.
ReplyDeleteI... I love it.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI actually liked the ending better than "they lived happily ever after". Maybe that makes me a cynic, but I think a perfect happy ending would have been kind of trite.
Perhaps more than any other character (except maybe AJ), I think Rarity understands the value of something earned with hard work. She may think she wants a fairy-tale romance, but I don't really think it would be right for her.
Loved the tale so much! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Augiedog.
ReplyDeleteFan... fucking... tastic.
ReplyDeleteI loved this story so much. I'm hoping for more from this author.
Thanks, everyone, for reading! I've had this story turning over and over in my head since the last week of January when I finally followed a link from a friend to the first two episodes on YouTube, so I'm glad to get it out there and that it pretty much worked for everyone.
ReplyDeleteThis has been my first experience with fan fiction, and it's been great fun. I've got some other short stuff scattered around the site here--including a comic I wrote and drew under my real name during the Artist Training Ground event--and I've got an idea for a long Pinkie Pie adventure that would span multiple universes. But I've got some of my own non-pony stuff to finish before I can get to that!
Thanks again, folks! Three months till season two!
The first couple of chapters started off a little rocky, but this is definitely one of the best fics yet I've read here. Well done!
ReplyDeleteEpic end for a epic saga. Loved it. Now we must make it canon :P
ReplyDeleteI'm going to be crushed when this story isn't the first six episodes of season 2. Well done! Very well done indeed! I especially liked the way you wrapped everything up in the epilogue.
ReplyDeleteIf this is your first fanfic, then well done. It's a masterful opening move. What helps it out a lot is that it's technically quite strong- the grammar and the syntax are very good, with just a few misspelled words here and there, nothing major.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many details about the story I like. I love the way Luna changes and grows, both spiritually and physically, over the course of the story. I love Applejack's detective work. I loved everything about the way you wrote Rainbow Dash, making her as sharp and energetic and speedy as she is in the show. Your Pinkie Pie is the best I've read. Ory was a wonderful original character, all passion wrapped in bluster- a perfect beau for Rarity.
I really should have been commenting chapter-by-chapter as it went up, because there's so much I could say about each chapter. So I'll simply say again: well done.
Really fantastic writing! Characterization was spot-on; narration was clear and concise. I like how you filled out the setting and population of Canterlot. One of the best ponyfics stories I've read.
ReplyDeleteWell that was good fun.
ReplyDelete*Applauds*
You made me smile.
One of the best in the fandom.
Additional flattery
...you deserve a medal but i don't have one to give
Just finished reading this. Excellent work, that was very good.
ReplyDeleteI loved it. Definitely one of the better stories U've read on here. I think the best part is that it was realistic, and it could actually be something canon written by the people who make the show. I especially liked the epilogue and how it brought the entire story together for the end, and of course, it was a great Luna redemption story. My only complaint was the font, but I can overlook that for a good story such as this. Great job, 5/5 stars from me.
ReplyDeleteDid I just read a tree to four part episode of the show ?
ReplyDeleteDamn you're good at writing.
While I thought that overall, this was a five-star story, I have to admit that I didn't like the epilogue. It doesn't really tie into the events of the main story, and it introduces an element which isn't really necessary. The element, in this case, essentially being an afterlife.
ReplyDeleteMy problem with afterlives is that they cheapen death for characters who die and due to their eternal nature, force the dead characters into what is effectively immortality, which is something I think anyone as benevolent as Celestia wouldn't wish on anyone else.
When I first:
ReplyDeleteStarted this story, I took the underlying theme from Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit. "Hell is other people" one of the characters says, and Nightmare Moon is the absolute embodiment of that sentiment. Princess Luna, after all, cared so much about what other ponies thought of her and her work, the whole world became her Hell.
The whole point of Half the Day is Night, then is to turn that around, to get her to see that "Heaven is other ponies." That's the idea that Celestia gets at the end of the prologue: Celestia wants to get Luna into a state where she can access the Grove, and in order to do that, Celestia has to give Luna the chance to get to know other ponies.
From Celestia's point of view, all the stuff that happens between the prologue and the epilogue is vitally important but not really noteworthy. The key points in the book are Luna asking about those ponies who helped with the night while she was in exile in the prologue, and the two sisters setting out to meet those ponies in the last line of the epilogue. The 60,000 words in between? Mere detail... :)
Mike
If you liked this story, you may want to check out
ReplyDelete"The Blood Jaguar" by Michael H. Payne.
A great character-driven fantasy novel that could have taken place in Equestria... except, no ponies.
The writing style may seem familiar...
Do you realize that this is 227 pages long?
ReplyDeleteMy only real problem is that Twilight didn't get to do much in the story. Other than that, it was AMAZING! A wonderful story.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's nearly:
ReplyDelete60,000 words as it stands, and once I file off the serial numbers, as it were, substitute my own characters for the pony characters and rewrite it into a non-copyrighted fantasy universe--in which rewrite the Twilight character gets a lot more to do--it's likely to be longer still.
Long enough to send out and see if anyone might be interested in publishing it, for instance. I mean, stranger things have happened... :)
Mike
I am considering writing a... well, not EXACTLY a sequel, but a story with this as part of its backstory.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever get a complete rough draft, do you think you might be willing to proof-read it for error with respect to your continuity? The Orrery/Rarity angle being of especially interest since I intend to have Spike making a serious (gentlemanly) counter-play for Rarity's affections.
@DracoDei
ReplyDeleteSure, send it along when you get a draft. You can use the e-mail address on the Terebinth page or get in touch with me through Augie Dog Tales.
Mike
Hi! I just wanted to drop a note saying how much I enjoyed your fic. I don't have a long review to offer, but I liked how you maintained an Original Flavor feel to everything and everyone while still spicing your fic with a hint of adult fears -- ponies losing their homes, losing their jobs, the political fallout of shutting down a major government center.
ReplyDelete@AugieDog
ReplyDeleteI want to see that. Hell, go write an original story. You already have a damn book right here! If this is anything to go by, I'd buy it.
I really, really loved this. You created a wonderfully extended universe for the show and...
God above I wish Hasbro or whatever animator team does the show could read this and say "Hey, this is good, lets use it!" I both dread and can't wait for season 2, because Luna finally gets characterized, meaning she's either everything we dreamed, or otherwise. But I really hope she's like yours.
You did so freaking great with this. Every character was brilliantly done, and your snippets of character growth... btw, I now consider your Pinkie Pie canon. I can never watch the show again without your Pinkie character being there.
My only real complaint, honestly? Where the hell was Twilights scenes?
Very well done all in all, the first few chapters started off seeming rather dull and forced but as I read on (nearly finished now) I became enraptured in the story until I realised Celestia's now rising the sun, so once again thanks to you inconsiderate brilliant authors I lose sleep wait too go :( (I really should just stop coming here)
ReplyDeleteFinally sat down and read through this like I promised myself to. I quite enjoyed this once the story itself kicked off, and my main wish was that I had been following this while it updated so I could list all of the clever little character-building details for everypony involved as I noticed them in each chapter.
ReplyDeleteI think it leaned a little bit on returning some things to the status quo, but it did so in such a well-written way so I can't really be annoyed by it; and most of the really important stuff stayed put in the end.
5/5.
Really amazing story, I started reading it a few days ago but stopped because I thought it was boring. I'm extremely glad I decided to continue reading loved every minute of it
ReplyDelete(Epilogue spoiler)
I really enjoyed the Immortality issue. When you really get down to it Its really sad for both Luna and Celestia to be immortal and unable to do anything but watch as their friends age. However you addressed this with
"The grove"
(Still spoiling stuff)
"she...she was awake, Starry. She was awake,"
This line is one of the very few lines I've ever read that gave me Goosebumps
(Spoilers are done now it is safe to return)
This is so far my favorite story that I've found here.
I can't wait to see more of your work I know it's going to be so awesome.
I just finished reading. I really liked it.
ReplyDeleteMy only complaint was Fluttershy: I feel that you made her a bit TOO timid/shy, if that makes sense.
I like this story so much I'm still kind of in awe; not much concrit or other feedback to give yet.
ReplyDeleteThat said, if I were a Lieutenant Governor or the Governor General, you'd be getting a medal right now.
@AugieDog
ReplyDeleteYeah... it might be a while, but hopefully I can do this thing...
Read everything in 1 sitting
ReplyDeletetime well spent
This was awesome! I liked how it struck a nice balance between carefree and danger. It felt like something I could see happening in the show itself. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't enjoy reading, really, I don't, but I read this in one sitting. It was definitely that good.
ReplyDeleteI thought the beginning was a little rocky but as the momentum picked up, the story flowed so well I couldn't "put it down" so to speak.
I loved the characterization of Luna. The explanations for why she did what she did (disbanding the Night Palace etc) was perfect. No malice intended, it was just the way she knew how to do things. You could really see her progress as a character too, it was... magic :).
The epilogue was very well written in my opinion. Though I was very confused at the prologue (after reading it, I thought the reason she asked Celestia about those that worked in the palace was so she could fire them all for doing her job) but the epilogue clarified the meaning. It also, as you said, clarified the purpose of the whole story. The story wasn't about finding the culprits or the Mane6 having an adventure (as entertaining as it was), it was about Luna's journey. The epilogue shows how long and important that journey was, how essential it was for her true and eternal happiness. And the Grove fit so magically into the world of MLP that you don't doubt for a second its existence. It was such a beautiful way of explaining the "afterlife" of the magical world. We are all bound together by love and friendship to the point where it transcends death and becomes new life.
Anyway, sorry for the wall. I just can't say enough good things about this story. Loved the Sherlock Holmes bits too (even if Pinkie was a bit to deus ex machina for me :S).
And now that we've all:
ReplyDeleteMet the actual Luna, I'm tempted to go back in and add some "shouty bits" for her. But no. Let the past remain frozen in the past! :)
Thanks, also, all the folks who somehow find this and comment on it!
Mike