• Story: The Eternal Night

    by
    [Grimdark-War] Another long one! This one with some Ancient Luna/Celestia Focus!

    Author: JS
    Description: A story set 1,000 years before Friendship is Magic, dealing with Luna's transformation into Nightmare Moon and Celestia's battle to stop her.
    The Eternal Night
    Tuesday, March 29, 2011 op
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    20 comments:

    1. AsphyxialiceMarch 29, 2011 at 4:00 AM

      I love this rendition on how things could have gone during the fight again Luna. I might just be biased toward this type of story (Fallen hero of sorts) but I really enjoyed this.

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    2. AnonymousMarch 29, 2011 at 4:20 AM

      That was one sweet story, and thankfully (despite the Grimdark warning) there were only two victims, both of them pretty much justified, I'd say. Loved it.

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    3. cabbitMarch 29, 2011 at 5:35 AM

      Not really grimdark, dark maybe... but a good piece of ponylore. Great Job JS!!

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    4. Lurks-no-MoreMarch 29, 2011 at 5:59 AM

      Dark, but not grimdark, and a very nice read.

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    5. AnonymousMarch 29, 2011 at 6:53 AM

      A few things.

      Why no earth pony suitors? Just pegasi and unicorns, why?

      Corona was sealed away too, but his exile is forever, unlike Luna's? If he did aid in her escape, will he himself return? I sort of wish he does, after all, that could work well with the whole forgiveness angle of the Mare in the Moon. In some twisted way, he's responsible for Luna's ultimate freedom from herself as well^^

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    6. BlueshiftMarch 29, 2011 at 7:15 AM

      I'd call it dark rather than Grimdark, but I rather liked it!

      My only quibble is with the character of Corona; having someone else being 'responsible' for Nightmare Moon seems to cheapen Luna's character slightly (and being a male, it goes againt the 'female empowerment' aspect of the show)

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    7. AnonymousMarch 29, 2011 at 8:51 AM

      Honestly, I think that Corona, if he ever returns, will be basically insane... after all, the Elements of Harmony didn't simply banish him, they SPLIT him into four different stars (I guess that the Elements can differentiate between "Corrupted into evilness" and "rotten to the core"). A thousand years of being basically quartered alive probably shattered his mind in a million small insane shards.

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    8. AnonymousMarch 29, 2011 at 11:38 AM

      I think the word is consort btw

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    9. NinestempestMarch 29, 2011 at 11:53 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

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    10. NinestempestMarch 29, 2011 at 12:44 PM

      I'll elaborate more, as I've now read all of it.

      I really like Corona. I don't think it's completely logical for Princess Luna to become so jealous of Celestia that she would, in a very round-about sense, kill every pony (and there's no doubt that without sun, all would perish). It seems fitting that she would be pushed to the limits by some other force to be driven to such a drastic mean. I also think that it's still a logical choice that she would still be nightmare moon after the mirror broke, not only because that's how it works canonically, but you build-her up very well before introducing Corona as well.

      I have to leave, but I'll try and find my own answer later, yet still I must ask: Selene just kind of vanished I think? Maybe I read too quickly. Oh well.

      Loved the story, five stars for sure, and it's a great lengthy story. This is just on that little precipice that is the difference between dark and grimdark. Any and all violence or loss of life is perfectly vindicated and meant to push the story forward, and not be the purpose of the story.

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    11. Joe EnglandMarch 29, 2011 at 1:11 PM

      Man. Y'know, I love these "History of Equestria" stories, and this one is great and all, but... Starbuck's kind of a dick. So Celestia loses her father and her sister in the same day, grows burdened with guilt and remorse, ultimately has to assume control of the very sun and the moon and the entire kingdom all on her own, and her "great true love" up and leaves her?? After gaining a knighthood and swearing an oath of fealty, no less. I mean, yeah, I get that he was sympathetic to Luna, but how much worse does Celestia have to feel about it? Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.

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    12. DeadManSleepingMarch 29, 2011 at 6:56 PM

      Wow. It was good throughout, but once it got up to the Everfree Forest, it got way more than 20% cooler. Just wow, man.

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    13. AnonymousMarch 30, 2011 at 8:53 AM

      I had hoped to read about the aftermath of Luna's banishment, see how Queen Selene would have handled the loss of Apollo and how Celestia would coped with the burden of imprisoning her sister.

      Still, amazing work. Definitely one of the best fanfics I've read to date.

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    14. AnonymousMarch 30, 2011 at 1:59 PM

      Too much death, not enough characterisation.

      But well written, excellently conceived.

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    15. AnonymousApril 1, 2011 at 8:51 PM

      This was... OMG so good one of the best stories I've read (and I've read a LOT of books)ever. Kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time.
      Excellent Job and Well done!

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    16. Everchosen April 2, 2011 at 5:07 AM

      Best myth story ever!

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    17. EwyndallApril 2, 2011 at 5:50 PM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

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    18. EwyndallApril 2, 2011 at 5:59 PM

      I've really enjoyed it. The story had a slight cliché feeling to it, but with all honesty, a clihé I can never get bored of :)

      I liked the characters and the story as a whole and in my opinion, with a little bit of polishing, this could easily stand as the official background lore for the entire MLP:FiM story, for me at least :)

      I must congratulate for the Epilogue. It really added that final touch. Starbuck and Celestia parting deepened the emotional element in the story, making it more complex for the reader and something to think about (at least for me it did, loving someone while not being able to forgive).
      I liked the extra spin about the descendant of Starbuck. Lovely and fitting .)

      5/5, without a shadow of doubt.

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    19. UnknownApril 16, 2011 at 7:00 PM

      we do something about the 'grimdark' tag? its misleading, since, imo its not that dark ether -.-

      but it was a great read, really, a very good story

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    20. NerevarJuly 23, 2011 at 3:01 AM

      I just want to say that while I think the story could have been fleshed out more, I did really enjoy it. 4/5 stars.

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