• Story: Equinox

    by
    [Normal] Some Luna stuff from Squeak.  And those still aren't eyes.
    Description: Luna says hello to an old friend.
    Equinox
    Monday, March 14, 2011 op
    Labels: , , , , ,
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    34 comments:

    1. SqueakMarch 14, 2011 at 4:54 PM

      Thanks for the upload, Blog Brony!

      Comments always appreciated!

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 4:58 PM

      I will read the story riiiiiiiiiight after I comment about ass eyes.

      Ass eyes.

      ReplyDelete
    3. SandmanMarch 14, 2011 at 5:08 PM

      I dawwww'd.

      Then I quickly clicked 'X' because the eyes, the eyes, they won't stop staring.
      ...
      ...
      ...MAKE THEM STOP STARING!

      ReplyDelete
    4. SqueakMarch 14, 2011 at 5:11 PM

      @Sandman

      Thank you!

      Why do I get the suspicion I'm going to get more comments about the eyes than the fic?

      Not to say I blame people....they never stop staring...

      ReplyDelete
    5. SandmanMarch 14, 2011 at 5:29 PM

      @Squeak Yeah the eyes will get more comments, it seems like when stuff like that is completely unintentional it is creepier/funnier.

      ReplyDelete
    6. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 5:40 PM

      That's one small step for Princess Luna, one giant leap for ponykind.

      That story was really nice - made me go 'awwww'

      also...


      the eyes

      ReplyDelete
    7. PrideMarch 14, 2011 at 5:46 PM

      Really, really liked this. Was bloody adorable.

      ReplyDelete
    8. madmaxMarch 14, 2011 at 6:23 PM

      @Squeak
      squeak that was beautiful and lovely
      luna is not alone :)

      ReplyDelete
    9. uSeaMarch 14, 2011 at 7:11 PM

      That was very nice.
      If I can offer any criticism it would be that it seems you used an overabundance of commas in some areas. I can't really talk though. I'm just as guilty.

      Also, I'm staring at the eyes, not her ass.
      Honest!

      ReplyDelete
    10. Cereal VelocityMarch 14, 2011 at 8:03 PM

      Five stars. Five unabated stars.

      This brought a tear to my eye. Excellent work, Squeak.

      ReplyDelete
    11. PodoTepworthMarch 14, 2011 at 11:34 PM

      Beautiful cadence, lovely imagery, brilliant execution. This story wants to be read aloud. I read parts aloud just to hear it.

      Very Beagle-esque style. A wonderful choice for this character and this story.

      The only thing I found slightly awkward was the Celestia/Luna exchange upon arrival in Ponyville. That paragraph lost the rhythm for me, just a little.

      That didn't matter, though.

      I loved this. Read it three times, then it dragged me out of my comfortable bed to get in front of a real keyboard and praise it. Read it again while writing this. It is the only Luna story I've seen so far that has felt exactly right... You've enlarged the character for me. Bravo, and thank you.

      ReplyDelete
    12. TooMuchMarch 15, 2011 at 12:10 AM

      It feels like a fairytale. Awesome.

      ReplyDelete
    13. LordOfTheWrongsMarch 15, 2011 at 3:26 AM

      Of course they're not eyes!
      ...they're decoy eyespots.

      ReplyDelete
    14. Lurks-no-MoreMarch 15, 2011 at 3:30 AM

      The early part made me kind of sad; the later part likewise; then the ending turned it all around. Nice!

      ReplyDelete
    15. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 8:09 AM

      aww i love luna and this story, but the way you kept saying 'the moon was silent' made me think it was gonna start talking and then i had a visual that the moon from the mighty boosh was having a chat with luna lol

      ReplyDelete
    16. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 9:01 AM

      @LordOfTheWrongs

      "And here we see the pinkie piacis, hunting in its natural habitat. It sneaks up to its victim, but, confused by the decoy eyes, it attacks the rear instead... turning this hunt into a mating session."

      ReplyDelete
    17. SqueakMarch 15, 2011 at 9:55 AM

      Wow, so many new comments! How wonderful!

      I suppose I shall make my way down the list in order.

      @Anonymous
      Yes, one giant leap! Thank you, glad you liked it! I now have the urge to write a story about pony space travel....I suppose I'll save that for the Whoof fic.

      @Pride
      Thank you! I do like adoribleness, so that is quite the compliment!

      @Maxie
      Thank you, Maxie, I'm very happy your liked it! Indeed she is not alone.

      @uSea
      Yeah, my comma usage has occasionally been a bit of a problem, I shall try to work on it! Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

      @Cereal Velocity

      Wow! Thank you! I'm so happy this story seems to be doing so well! Unabated five stars! *Squeeee*

      @PodoTepworth

      Wow, that has to be one of the best comments Iv'e gotten. Thank you. Funny you should mention Beagle, I happen to be reading an anthology of his at the moment! I thought the story style would fit, so that's what I was going for! I'm glad I accomplished it! Thank you for the feedback as well, I shall work on it! I'm really giddy that you enjoyed it to such an extent. Perhaps I shall try to get my brother to do a reading for you. Thank you very much for reading, and taking the time write me a comment.

      @Toomuch
      Thanks! I was leaning towards that fairytale style of things.

      @Lordofwrongs.
      Of course....it all makes sense now...

      @Lurksnomore
      Thank you!

      @Anonymous
      Glad you liked it, but now I'm going to be thinking about the Mighty Boosh all week!

      ReplyDelete
    18. PacceMarch 15, 2011 at 3:10 PM

      Beautiful imagery, I even got a touch misty at the end.

      ReplyDelete
    19. The RPGeniusMarch 15, 2011 at 5:46 PM

      This was nice. The grammar needs some tidying up here and there (most notably, the word is "its" without the ' when it's meant to be possessive--it only has the ' when it's being used as a contraction ("it is")), but that's the only real criticism to be given. Otherwise, it's short and sweet, fairly well-written and a nice glimpse at a character who continues to be sadly underused. 4 Stars.

      ReplyDelete
    20. SqueakMarch 15, 2011 at 9:20 PM

      @Pacce
      Thank you Pacce! *Eeehhh* I made someone misty!

      Justasplanned.jpg

      @TheRPGenius

      Thank you! The Its have been corrected. I'm glad you liked the story, and thank you for the helpful feedback! Much appreciated!

      ReplyDelete
    21. SlyWitMarch 15, 2011 at 11:56 PM

      Very sweet story. My workshop-critical side wanted to change only a seldom spot or two, which is certainly rare in fanfiction (other stories have me going of like a warning klaxon). I admire your natural talent at imagery and especially at evoking bittersweet emotions. There is a reason I always come back to your fics and this is no disappointment.

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 6:14 AM

      Wonderful job on this, thanks for the great story.

      ReplyDelete
    23. PodoTepworthMarch 16, 2011 at 2:34 PM

      @Squeak

      >Perhaps I shall try to get my brother to do a reading for you.

      How very cool! I hope this works out... I'll look forward to listening!

      ReplyDelete
    24. SqueakMarch 17, 2011 at 6:39 PM

      @PodoTepworth

      He won't....

      Sadfluttershy.jpg


      But, somepony has apparently been listening to us, and did this!

      http://yourlisten.com/channel/content/85863/Equinox_

      ReplyDelete
    25. AnonymousMarch 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM

      @uSea
      Yeah, she has nice eyes doesn't she?

      ReplyDelete
    26. SqueakMarch 19, 2011 at 6:50 PM

      @SlyWit

      Thank you, Slywit!! I've corrected a dew mistakes since your comment, so hopefully I caught those errors! Thanks again, I'm really ecstatic at your comment! I'm glad you weren't disappointed!

      ReplyDelete
    27. Fire.EsperMarch 28, 2011 at 10:34 AM

      Your writing style is booming with sophistication, like Abraham Lincoln punching his fist through a steam engine.

      Well-done.

      ReplyDelete
    28. TigerflameMarch 30, 2011 at 5:24 PM

      Thanks for uploading this nice story! it was sooo cute and the added music helped make it even cuter! Thank you! <(^~^)>

      ReplyDelete
    29. That SwedeApril 27, 2011 at 4:14 PM

      a tastefull piece on a moonless night such as this.
      i enyojed it.
      5 stars.

      ReplyDelete
    30. NaxtsMay 3, 2011 at 1:48 PM

      I really wished I read this earlier. This is a really sweet and simple story.
      Its absolutely lovely.

      ReplyDelete
    31. BronyMikeMay 4, 2011 at 1:12 AM

      Aw... got some tears of sweetness outta me at the end of this kid. Well-done. So, am I interpreting this right? Was it the moon itself that decided to appear mid-day to cheer up Luna? Heartwarming.

      A bunch more errors are still in the thing, though. In this show, the plural of Pegasus is "Pegasi". Also, when it's possessive, the word is "its". It's only "it's" when short for "it is".

      ReplyDelete
    32. WierdplatformerOctober 7, 2011 at 4:21 PM

      This is a cute little story. I'm surprised that it doesn't have more views.

      ReplyDelete
    33. LunaMarch 12, 2012 at 10:16 PM

      a great and heart touching story (made me all sappy)

      ReplyDelete
    34. UnknownAugust 31, 2012 at 6:18 AM

      Miss O is always here.You can run&hide.I shall catch u!"!"Careful

      ReplyDelete

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