• Story: CP Violation (Updated Finished!)

    [Crossover] No, that image wasn't chosen at random, this is in fact a Gordan Freemane story.  Unfortunately he has his normal name.  This time written by Albatross Apparently this was a way early entry to the friend off.
    Description: Another failed experiment lands the legendary physicist Gordan Freeman in a strange new world.
    CP Violation
    CP Violation: Episode 1 
    CP Violation: Episode 2
    CP Violation: Episode 3
    CP Violation: Conclusion (New!)

    68 kommentaari:

    1. This could turn into a Twilight shipping story so easily XD

      but anyways, awesome read!

      VastaKustuta
    2. If this happened to Gordon later on in life his first thought would be...

      "At least it's not more aliens/zombies/monsters"

      I'm pretty sure Isaac Clarke and a few other people would be relieved to end up in Ponyville after going through what some people would note as "That one day everything went wrong".

      VastaKustuta
    3. Sorry for posting twice but is it that Google Docs is being a jerk or is this really the last paragraph of the story, it seems like its missing stuff. (Google docs is a bitch to me sometimes...)

      Paragraph:
      “I think it looks cool.” Rainbow Dash said, happy to give her two bits.
      “Yeah Gordon, why don’t you let Rarity make you a few things?” Gordon shrugged, signalling his indifference. Rarity nearly tackled him trying to get all the measurements, knocking him back and dazing him once more.

      VastaKustuta
    4. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

      This is an awesome fanfic.

      VastaKustuta
    5. awwwwww that was nice..
      kinda wish thou that Gordon would have been ponificated(?!)/ponified while changing dimensions :3

      VastaKustuta
    6. Is there possible chance of a second part? This sounds like it could really go further.

      Just curious.

      VastaKustuta
    7. Im giggling like a schoolgirl and I have no idea why. Write more!

      VastaKustuta
    8. this is pretty cool. i want more of this.

      VastaKustuta
    9. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y2. märts 2011, kell 15:02

      @Anonymous
      This is the first part of a potential 3-parter.

      VastaKustuta
    10. this has been one of the better story's read so far.
      i hope this will continue

      VastaKustuta
    11. Now I can't get the image of Pinkie resting her head on Gordan's lap out of my head. This story is definitely intriguing!

      VastaKustuta
    12. fun concept, but i'm going to go into d/ic/k mode for a second.
      and just in case you're not aware, /ic/ is the artwork critique board, they are notoriously brutal with constructive criticism.

      for one, the opening paragraph exposition feels rushed. perhaps you could explain it all in a more extended dialogue between freeman and another scientist....with freeman mostly just nodding or making expressions.
      also the descriptive usage throughout is a little light, stretch it out a little, give us a detailed image.
      in fact everything is moving a little quickly, i'm not sure if that was your intention?

      VastaKustuta
    13. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y2. märts 2011, kell 16:03

      @Anonymous
      This is only my SECOND official fic. (The other is The Fires of War, in chapters)
      and I'm still learning. But yes, a small bit WAS rushed. I do appreciate your critique though. It's going to help me learn. I may go back and expand some of the dialogue.

      VastaKustuta
    14. This is pretty funny stuff! Very cute.

      VastaKustuta
    15. OH! That wasn't the "CP" I was fearing from the title. LOL.

      VastaKustuta
    16. Oh good lord this was so stupid that it gave me a lobotomy... and yet, NOW ! MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

      VastaKustuta
    17. /ic/ mode initiated.
      Eh, I dunno... this story kinda left me cold. If there's going to be a conflict in the plot, it should probably be either showing up or being foreshadowed really soon -- you're risking a loss of momentum. Slowing down to add some character interest would help that a lot. Right now, they're all kind of acting like caricatures of themselves. (Side note: considering they have hammers and electronics, I'd think they would know what a crowbar is.)

      If Gordon is gonna be your main character, you need two things: first, glue that camera to his head and stick with it. You keep jumping between Gordon and Twilight -- which is fine, if you stick with each for a while and make it clear when you're switching. Check out Cereal Velocity's fanfic writing guides for more on that. Second, once you're glued to Gordon's head, give us some internal monolgue! If the poor guy can't talk, he'd better exposit like a motherfucker in his own head. Immerse us in what it's like to be Gordon Freeman in this new, weird-ass world.

      I'm also a bit confused where in the Half Life chronology this is supposed to take place, not that it's critical.

      VastaKustuta
    18. I vote part two!

      It was quite good, I writing. The begining part made me a bit sad, but the rest made up for it.
      Got to say, though, in less head crabs invade there is no hope for a plot other than "Human scientist meets and studies ponies"

      Could get an interesting thing of him and Twi trying to use magic (which I am sure he will react interestingly to) to get him back.

      VastaKustuta
    19. lol oh bronies you know what exactly to deliver :D

      VastaKustuta
    20. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y2. märts 2011, kell 19:42

      @LordOfTheWrongs
      I have a LOT of things planned for the next part. And foreshadowing WAS present. You just have to look a bit harder.
      Oh, and it takes place approx. 5 months before the Black Mesa Incident.

      VastaKustuta
    21. Man, this was so awesome. I loved it to bits.

      VastaKustuta
    22. OH GOD WHAAAAAAT. Seeing my Gordon Freemane on the front page again surprised me. This story was fun, Half Life + ponies always = YEAAAA. :D

      VastaKustuta
    23. it still is awesome but episode one doesnt feel as good as the first part. i do enjoy the internal stuff though.

      VastaKustuta
    24. "Are you a wizard" holy crap that made my day.

      VastaKustuta
    25. well... no offense but I can't help but think that you seem kinda pissed off. You seem to spend more time snarking at little plot holes from the HL2 universe then just enjoying the story.

      Was still fun though.

      VastaKustuta
    26. Can't wait for the next parts.
      I hope that the Combine will somehow get involved in this too. That'd be cool.

      VastaKustuta
    27. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y4. märts 2011, kell 05:14

      @Anonymous
      Because of me describing the Orbifold? I just felt creative, so I thought I'd explain in. Sorry if I seemed angry. (Not sure how you'd see that in text, though.)

      VastaKustuta
    28. Ok, I don't know anything about Half-Life, exept that Gordon is the main character. You got me interested, I might watch a LP of this.

      Anyway, I do quite enjoy reading this, only thing is that he seems to cuss alot, not that I mind, but it seems slightly immature. But I really shouldn't say anything before I know more about Half-Life...

      VastaKustuta
    29. So, um, what the FUCK happened at the end there? The entire last part just seemed so out of place.

      VastaKustuta
    30. While I enjoyed both the first chapter and Episode 1, I just have one gripe about the second chapter:

      Even though many unexplainable things happen (and trust me, they do), it really doesn't have to be a curse-fest. Next time, tone down the cursing by a lot, make him only curse once in a while but not all the time...just seems immature to me, that's all.

      VastaKustuta
    31. *Reading*

      Hm, this new chapter is cool. Hey wait, didn't I mention head crabs in a comment? Odd. Got to say, I love the way this guy is writing it all together, making it even seem to fit, if haphazardly. Hey, wait, wants this about the hallway...



      ...WAT.

      OH HELL NAW! HE DID NOT JUST...

      ...he did.

      I am disappoint that this was posted here, a bit.

      That is some pretty graphic stuff.

      VastaKustuta
    32. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y4. märts 2011, kell 13:36

      @Anonymous
      Made some changes. Reduced the language by as much as possible without actually damaging the document. Hope it's a bit more appealing.

      VastaKustuta
    33. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y4. märts 2011, kell 13:38

      @MasterMask
      The harem scene? Or the fall? If you mean the Harem scene, it's rather clean compared to almost all of the shipping stories here. And the fall? Well, if you've played the original half life, those are actual phrases the suit says (Except the blood pressure phrase).

      VastaKustuta
    34. i'll stay anon right now
      kind of ok but the "hallway scene" uh if that is what i think it was then idk if that should be there. . . im sort of new here so idk what the age appropriate content level here is but atleast it was minor graphical.
      Gordon celestia shipping
      (sorry for my bad spelling btw =3 )

      VastaKustuta
    35. I was liking this before, but you just gained way more respect from me when the second installment was labeled episode 1.

      VastaKustuta
    36. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y4. märts 2011, kell 21:13

      @Anonymous
      Theoretically, there IS no age limit here. At least, not what I'm aware of. And besides, there are several borderline fap-fics(fanfictions centered around purely sexual content, very descriptive) here. This, in no way, is sexually GRAPHIC, not compared to the other fics here. Just go and look. Really.

      VastaKustuta
    37. @Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr y
      ok im posting for your reply to my ANON comment
      thanks for clearing up the age limit issue i had and for being cool with my "new" comment, i was acctualy expecting someing going "lolololo newfag lololo gtfolololol"

      VastaKustuta
    38. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y4. märts 2011, kell 22:04

      @swordman600

      We are far away from /b/, friend. Equestria is home to ALL bronies. New or old.

      VastaKustuta
    39. @Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr y
      i think im gonna cry now being so far away from the assholes =')
      but what is this feeling i have that fills me with dread in the far future?!?!

      VastaKustuta
    40. Albatross !!z0yT7Pqnr+y5. märts 2011, kell 00:50

      @swordman600
      Your lack of Pinkie Pie. It disturbs me.

      VastaKustuta
    41. lmao, this is awesome.
      Also, Celestia getting laid.

      VastaKustuta
    42. I agree with some of the above: the harem scene and cussing aren't necessary and only serve to hurt an otherwise interesting story. Hope to see a part 3 soon.

      VastaKustuta
    43. 'the fuck did i just read?

      VastaKustuta
    44. Great story. Up until i started reading episode 3.

      Then i got depressed.

      VastaKustuta
    45. Okay, about chapter 3?

      Right now, I hate you. It is very important to me that you know that.

      VastaKustuta
    46. Episode 3 made me laugh. Thank you author. Thank you.

      VastaKustuta
    47. i think that that part three was the best of the parts. had everything that anyone could ask for from a stori.

      VastaKustuta
    48. First part rocked, second one seriously dropped off, and the third somewhat made up for it. 3/5 overall.

      Oh yeah, and the video version of part 4.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw4rc3MKS9Y

      VastaKustuta
    49. I opened that fucking episode 3 link.
      I then proceeded to shoot my cat in a blind rage.
      You see what you did mister author? You killed my cat, I hope you're proud of yourself. You best be planning on finishing this mess.

      VastaKustuta
    50. Episode 3 *click* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEEEEEEE

      VastaKustuta
    51. Um... lol? I just dunno what to say...

      VastaKustuta
    52. Noooo, send me back!
      I don't want to be back here in the crapsack world, I want to be in the nice, happy world.

      VastaKustuta
    53. a nice happy world filled with (soon to be) dead ponies? maybe its for the best that he stays at home.

      VastaKustuta
    54. I like it, and have happy faced whenever I see that a new chapter is up.
      But the transition from episodes 1 to 2 was confusing....
      At the risk of being SPOYLAR,
      It was see sexing->RUN->JUMP->black out->wake up->XEN

      But yeah, I like it.

      VastaKustuta
    55. Cop out ending. no me gusta

      VastaKustuta
    56. Okay, I gotta admit, I'm VERY disappointed in the "ending"... That wasn't much in the way of resolution. It seems like the author just fizzled out.

      VastaKustuta
    57. crappy ending possible sequel

      VastaKustuta
    58. HE MUST GO BACK, FOR THE LOVE OF PONIES HE MUST GO BACK.

      VastaKustuta
    59. And what really sticks in [i]my[/i] craw is the absolute lack of any attempt to explain WHY CELESTIA WAS HAVING AN ORGY!

      I seriously cannot fathom why that was even in there.

      VastaKustuta
    60. wtf am i reading and why isnt there more of it

      VastaKustuta
    61. is it ok if i read Gordan's voice in the voice of Ross Scott's Freeman's Mind?

      VastaKustuta
    62. Ha, i just now get the "CP Episode 3" joke im roflmfao

      VastaKustuta
    63. I was literly rofl-ing XD
      so much redernces to memes in one chapter
      i´d realy love to see more of that
      also nice idea to give gordon a backgroundstory ^^

      VastaKustuta
    64. Well, This episode 3 came out on time.
      (hint hint)

      VastaKustuta