Author: Phoe
Sequel to Fluttering Heart
Description: Fluttershy's attempt to admit her feelings is met with fierce backlash from Rainbow Dash, and the brash young pegasus is forced to deal with unpleasant memories from her past.Chasing Rainbows
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[Shipping] Why is Dash fully compatible with EVERYTHING? I wish my computer was that cool.
Author: Phoe
Sequel to Fluttering Heart
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30 comments:
D'aaaaw.
ReplyDelete/r/ moar!
Agree with Scherzo: D'awwwwww.
ReplyDeleteI raged hard at RD during the first half.
ReplyDeleteThen I felt bad for doing so.
GODDAMNIT
ReplyDeleteNow I have to re-title my story
I d'awwwwwed.
ReplyDeleteThen b'awwwwwwed.
Then d'awwwwwwed again.
Well, it looks like Turntable Turnabout fully established some fannon terminology. This is like the fourth fic outside of TT to use the term Fillyfooler...
ReplyDeleteScherzo, you're so good with wordplay, so tell me what you suppose slang for a male homosexual would be?
@ Anonymous above: I've been curious about that for a while, as well.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story itself, poor Fluttershy! Poor Dash! And for the ending, "yay". :)
Stupid overly cute dash. /r/more stories of her losing control.
ReplyDeleteMan... this one was hard for me to read.
ReplyDeleteI went through a lot of shit at school myself so stuff like this really gets to me.
Cupcakes didn't even make me flinch but this got a serious emotional response out of me.
Had a happy end tho so 5stars for making me depressed and then happy. It takes ALOT to do that to me. (I mite be biased on my opinion of this but I think its one of the better fics of late)
I didn't read the story yet, but the picture here is so amazing! ^^)
ReplyDelete@Don_ko
ReplyDeleteI agree, just that picture is incredibly adorable. It works just as well even for non-shipping stories.
For suggestions of the male version of Filly Fooler...
ReplyDeleteIt would have to be Colt Cuddler.
"Taste the Rainbow", LOL....that would be Pinkie Pie during the tour of the cloud making facilities. Spicy!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI would have assumed something more... insulting when used by other males. Maybe Gelding (proper term for a castrated horse.)
though coltcuddler IS a good gentle way to say it.
I'm not usually a fan of shipping stories but I really enjoyed this one.
ReplyDeleteLoved it.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI used the term because it's got pretty much everything you could want in a catch-all identifier/insult. It has excellent consonance, and stings just enough to sound like a jab while still being something the lesponies of the world might try to take it back for themselves. So I wanted to do my part and help cement it as the official fanon term. Hopefully it doesn't feel too forced here.
Happy to see the reactions so far. I was so nervous submitting this!
Hmm, hopefully constructive criticism is accepted here. I'll start by saying I thought the flashback was well done, probably the best part; raw and emotional, and set up Dash's earlier reaction. The beginning Fluttershy stuff was good too.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I felt the shift from Fluttershy's point of view to Dash's was too abrupt. I wanted to see Fluttershy's reaction a bit longer as Dash took off, plus the story had been focusing all on Fluttershy until that point. A smoother transition would help. I also felt the resolution was too fast. Dash comes outside, sees Fluttershy and suddenly she's over her huge blow-up? I don't see it. If that scene had a bit more to it, more Dash apologizing and working stuff out, maybe, I'd have accepted it more.
Best of luck on any future works!
@researcher222
ReplyDeleteI'm a little hesitant to comment twice in such a short span of time on my own story, but I wanted to thank you for your commentary. Constructive criticism is not only accepted, but adored.
This is as good a time as any to mention that I'm planning on making a few revisions to this (and I will definitely be taking your words to heart as I edit) in the near future. The ending in particular needs work. The dream sequence was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be; by the end I was both emotionally drained and desperate to get the story finished and out in the public view. So I rushed out the first thing that would stick, which was this. I'll be holding to the basic structure of what's here, but I want to focus more on the emotionality of the scene. Thanks again for providing me with working points to focus on!
Wow. I missed this when it was first posted.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, very nice and emotional story.
As it has already been said the change in narrator was a bit too sudden and the ending could stand to go a bit longer.
But oh man, I just really love how strongly the emotions came across in this story. That flashback was... heart wrenching.
Wow... I don't even know what to say. This fanfic is so great, and yet, it hurts so much, seeing that kind of crap happening with Rainbow Dash. I'm glad that it has a happy ending, though.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see more!
Excellent very excellent. I'm a sucker for Fluttershy stories.
ReplyDeleteI really want this to continue though! You must make more!
Whilst others said the ending could've been expanded, I say leave it as it is. Perfect way to end a story such as this, sweet and simple and indirectly emotionally impacted.
As for criticism, other than the length (curse the shortness) the transition from Fluttershy to Rainbow Dash could've been more tactfully done. As one has already posted I was expecting (wanting) more of Fluttershy's emotional impact from Rainbow Dash's sudden rage. This little tidbit would make the emotions portrayed mesh well together coming out short and perfect.
Anyways, again very excellent, I can't wait to see more work from you (and hopefully a sequel to this).
-Anathemic One
moar
ReplyDeleteI liked the irony (intentional or not) in the fact that Dash, the fastest flier this side of the Everfree Forest, chose "Fight" in the fight-or-flight reaction.
ReplyDeleteI also like the subtle irony in the fact that when I got to the part with the wingboner, the little blue box at the top suddenly changed to "Nobody is viewing."
I have to ask; was the part with Fluttershy apologizing over and over whilst camping outside RD's house a reference to the Higurashi anime?
ReplyDeleteVirtually the same thing happens in Higurashi. Would be pretty cool if it was a reference.
I love the picture, it fits so well with the story.
ReplyDeleteLike fluttershy fixing damaged rainbow dash ^^
I D'awwwwwwww'd
I too am a sucker for stories such as these.
ReplyDeleteI somewhat agree with Anathemic One on the transitions between Dash and Fluttershy. However, that is not to say that they didn't play well together in the end.
The ending could of been slightly elated; but that's probably left as is to leave the reader to their own devices on what happens next.
Good job mate.
Write more soon, ya hear?
D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeletebroke my daw, flutterdash ship is the best ship :D
ReplyDeleteSo much d'awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Sequel is even more d'awwwwwwwwwwww. :)
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