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[Sad] This is actually an older one converted to docs format. It's the infamous Pinkie Pie gets diabetes story. Pinkie sure does have a lot of stories that are infamous at this point. Anyway it's primarily sad, but kind of grimdark. Originally Written by Anon, but converted to docs by nukeiffum
Description: Diabetes is a terrible thing, and everypony has their own way of dealing with loss..
Bittersweet
Bittersweet Part 2
Bittersweet Part 3
Bittersweet Part 4
Bittersweet Part 5
Bittersweet Part 6
Bittersweet Part 7
Bittersweet Final (New!)
Epilogue (New!)
Alternate Ending (New!)
299 kommentaari:
Choked up just a tad bit.
VastaKustutaAlso, someone please fix that one "his," 3rd paragraph in the second section.
It seems the most infamous of Pinkie's stories always tend to revolve around Rainbow, as well.
VastaKustutaI dunno if I want to read this... but Im curious... :(
VastaKustutathis story sounds exactly like the scrubs episode when ben dies.
VastaKustutaAw crap, it's finally happened. Pony stories finally made this grown man shed a tear.
VastaKustutaThis is probably the best adaptation of a Scrubs episode into a My Little Pony Fanfiction ever written.
VastaKustutaFixed the issue with the his. Sometimes you forget Rainbow Dash is a girl...
VastaKustutaAnd I had no idea this was a Scrubs episode. I should lurk more.
No. Fuck this. Fuck this.
VastaKustutaFuck Cupcakes. Got nothing on this, imo.
Fuck this to the fucking hell it came from.
This makes me feel bad.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Screw_Up
VastaKustutahttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rirPLLYBys
Right down to the line "Where do you think we are?"
Nice Scrubs rip-off, brony.
This is good,even if it is a rip off.
VastaKustutaTHIS WAS SO FUCKING SAD. Oh God. I am bawling. HOLD ME
VastaKustutaHoly damn that was sad. Even if it was a rip-off of scrubs.
VastaKustutaAts a damn good rip-off.
The first time I read this on 4chan was immediately after the Severing was completed and I read it.
VastaKustutaMany manly tears were shed that lonely night...
There are still some 'he's and a 'himself' about RD. Anyways it is a very well done story. I don't know if it is the light of my screen irritating my eyes or because I baw'ed so much but a single tear slipped from my eye.
VastaKustutaDiabeetus is a horrible thing.
VastaKustutaI think it's an homage rather than a rip-off. That's such an iconic scene and it was used nearly line-for-line. A ripoff would have changed more than the characters and stolen the rest of the plot too.
VastaKustutaAn homage tends to change more than a rip-off while still staying true to the spirit of the original work. Taking something line for line is basically the definition of a rip-off. Also, an homage tends to give acknowledgement to the original work.
VastaKustutaThis wouldn't annoy me if it had just said something like "written by X with inspiration from the episode My Screw Up of Scrubs" or something like that. But no reference to the original work is given, so it's the equivalent of intellectual theft.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaLike Family Guy?
I didn't even know it was from an episode of Scrubs. I just transcribed most of it from an anonpost over on /co/. But the next part will be mostly my original content mixed in with the leftover bits from the anonpost. I'll try to write up the next part by Tuesday.
VastaKustutaAnyways, added that it was "inspired" by a Scrubs episode, so that problem goes away kind of. Sorry about it in the first place, again, I don't even watch Scrubs.
In that case, I suppose you couldn't have known Nuke, and I'll try to calm my rabies. I'm just a pretty big Scrubs fan and it irked me that this idea (Which is admittedly very much worth using and interpreting) was apparently taken from one of the most famous Scrubs episodes without credit.
VastaKustutaI'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it.
Now I'm le sad :(
VastaKustutaIt was very well done. I liked Rainbow Dash imagining that Pinkie was still there. At first I was all like: "Flashback? hooboy this is gonna be long and mehful." But then it wasn't a flashback and I got very sads.
And part 2 is finished!
VastaKustutahttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1n_fjlPndc3wttLe7XhaY7g6_LTiIJaTrivIbYCtSgD0/edit?hl=en&authkey=CPfaod4G
I felt like it got a little too long since I tried to give everypony a decent amount of pagetime, and I felt that Rarity's part dragged on a bit much since I mostly threw that in to provide some sort of a cliffhanger...
Anyways, with this part everything that was in the original anonpost is gone, and from this point forward it's all new content. I'm trying to weave together something that involves everypony, and I hope I didn't bite off more than I can chew with this!
I haven't cried in so long til now..
VastaKustutawhy cant i stop crying.
VastaKustutaalso rarity is going to turn this into Frankenstein's pony inst she?
Oh god, there's a part 2?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutathere is now!!!
This isn't going to end well...
VastaKustutaaaaawwwww shit rainbow dash is dealing with problems of her own, you sir have left me wanting to read more.
VastaKustutaYeah, it's fairly obvious Dash had it bad for Pinkie and regrets they were never able to tell eachother how they felt.
VastaKustutaAlso, is Rarity planning to bring Pinkie back as a zombie or something, lol? This fic is getting interesting.
Even though it's quite depressing, this is a great read and I'm rather enjoying it.
VastaKustutaHowever, there's one plot hole: Sweetie Belle apparently knows that Pinkie is dead, going by Rarity's words near the end of Part 2. Sweetie and Applebloom are part of the CMC, of course - surely Sweetie would have broken the news about Pinkie to her by now? Big Mac certainly wouldn't have been the one to tell her if Applebloom's friends knew about Pinkie...
Aside from that, keep it up. I'd love to see further parts!
@Senn555 I'm thinking of a CMC subplot where Applebloom learns the truth from the other CMCs. The other two have just assumed that Applebloom knows what happened already and don't bring it up. Sweetie Belle strikes me as the type who'd not talk about it at all, so if I do find a way to fit this subplot in it'd be Scootaloo who'd end up telling Applebloom.
VastaKustutaThe whole point would be to show the issue of how Big Mac's sheltering Applebloom, which is pointless since she'll hear everything from her friends later on anyways. Something like that pretty much writes itself.
Assuming I can fit it in anyways. I'll probably end up just writing a side-chapter for the CMCs, since a subplot like this would be too much of a distraction from the main plot.
As for the fact that it's already been a week... pretend the CMC's never really had a chance to talk about it since then.
/walloftext
Well. The story certainly has taken an interesting turn. When I read the first part. I though it was one of those stories where its just a short and sad story. I had no idea that there was going t be a second part.
VastaKustutaBut it doesn't really matter, I'll just let ya know that I really enjoyed it and I'm caught left wanting for more =)
I remember some of the second part from one thread or another, but the inclusion of Derpy is new. I'm excited to see what's up with Dash.
VastaKustuta@nukeiffum
VastaKustutaInteresting way to make it logical. Can't wait to read follow-up parts... this is a fantastic story.
Oh god... I've seen Dobby die, I've seen Marlie die, I've read all three of the hunger games books and saw rue die, and i've seen so many other works of fiction with death, and yet, this is the only one that has made my cry. Even if i just let out a few tears or two, i still cried. It really makes me see how important the ponies are in my life, even if i don't show it. And for some reason, i really want the third part...
VastaKustuta@xanonx
VastaKustutaOh yeah, i forgot to mention [SPOILER] i've seen Eli Vance die too. And my father in FO3.
Part 3: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12Dk6xc_n2cpHzwQWHiytqdi6FMTiiyRf67dfvXqc6zI/edit?hl=en&authkey=CL2kiCg
VastaKustutaI feel like I'm getting these out too fast. And each part is getting somewhat progressively longer. It feels like there was some shipping undertones at the end too... Confound these ponies, the compel me to write!
Also, requesting blogbrony to retag this as Everypony instead of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
Hey, ponies hugging each other is not bad at all. It's just when they start kissing on the lips and... doing things... that it gets deep. My opinion, anyway.
VastaKustutaI am VERY curious to see what Rainbow Dash will do now, after reading part three... and also how much Pinkie's death is affecting Applejack.
This is a VERY well written story... keep on at it!
Coming from a person who has had to deal with something very similar, this story is extremely heartwarming, and really strikes a deep emotional cord with me.
VastaKustutaUnfortunately, I could not take the first part as seriously as I wished I had, as the entire time I was comparing it to the superior Scrubs episode, along with the fact that I had problems with how the author handled Diabetes, as my brother has had type one (more serious than Pinkies condition) for over 10 years. As such, I am exceptionally happy to see how they wrote the newer parts, as they really have a much more poignant effect in my heart.
Also, I have this to say as well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHlf08yTPiU
This is the song from the scrubs episode that this series of stories are based on.
I cannot stress enough how much it helps to deepen the emotional impact of the
story to read whilst listening to this song. It truly helps the story hit home and I
cannot help but cry whenever I hear it.
Thank you to all who took the time to read this, and I hope your lives can be as happy as I wish mine was.
@Senn555 For some reason it just felt like I was shipping FlutterSparkle (or whatever they call it), even though my intention was FRIENDSHIP and not shipping. Not to mention Fluttershy taking the muffin crumb. SO TEMPTED TO SHIP THERE.
VastaKustuta@FightingFire Sorry to hear about all that brony, and I hope life picks up for you. I'm glad my writing strikes a chord with you, since that's the (supposed?) goal of every writefriend. I can't really do anything about the first part, because that part was written by anon and not me and changing it more than I have already would ruin the entire point of why this is up on ED, not to mention I have zero experience with diabetes at all. Thankfully(?) this story is more about death and coping in general rather than specifically diabetes.
Anywho, got started on the fourth part today, but it probably won't be finished until over the weekend since a bunch of work's come up lately. To all the trips who comment and the anons who don't, thank you for reading this so far, and I hope you stick with it until the end!
Now I'll step off this stool before I get kicked off.
When Derpy Hooves delivered the muffin, all I could think of was "Candygram for Mungo"
VastaKustutaSent Part 4 to blogbrony.
VastaKustutaI introduced an antagonist in this part to get the story moving a little quicker. The story at its core will still be the same, and I won't go into too much of the history behind these antagonists...
Either way, they're really only being used as a plot device to get things moving. Hopefully I'm not stepping over my bounds too much with this OC, but whatever. We'll see how the story goes from here.
I love the story. but, in part 4 you referred to big mac as a red mare and then later as a brown mare. That's a mighty hefty insult to heap on the manliest of stallions.
VastaKustutaI haven't cried in so long til i read this story.. thank you :')
VastaKustuta@Anonymous Fixed the issue. I hope somepony will forgive me for tarnishing his good mane.
VastaKustutaThere's a lot of instances where Big Macintosh's being called a girl. He's a stallion, not a mare.
VastaKustuta@nukeiffum
VastaKustutaI think the real issue is not the color of his mane but that you call him a mare ;).
MOAR.
VastaKustuta@Shark789 I fail hard with pony nouns. ;_;
VastaKustutaAnyways, think I fixed all of those errors now. Seems like all the problems I have stem from nouns and pronouns. I blame Rainbow Dash's boyishness and the female to male ratio of Equestria.
Well, I certainly am satisfied the the new part. Its really great and the part with Applejack and Twilight really touches me deeply because it reminds me about all those times I got angry at people who tried to help me.
VastaKustutaThen it got exciting when it moved on to Rarity
This really is a deep and amazing story, I look forward to yet another part to this masterpiece.
jeez, Rarity is being kidnapped a lot recently, lol. First Diamond Dogs, and now wolves are out to get her?
VastaKustuta:(
VastaKustutaBut yeah, I like this.
My only complaint would be Gilda, but that's totally a "your interpretation of the character is different from mine" so I can't actually fault you on that any more than your characterization of Derpy.
@Pacce I sort of see Gilda as a delinquent type character who doesn't mind bending the rules or going against society, but she tries to never go too far. It's just that her definition of "too far" is a lot more different than everypony else's. How do you see her?
VastaKustutaDouble comment derp. Got part 5 done and sent to Sethisto. Every part gets longer and longer I swear...
VastaKustutaAnyways, the way I see things going this story will properly be wrapped up at part 7 or 8. Depends on how...verbose I end up being in part 6. Because that seems to be happening a lot.
Huh. Never got why wolves are somehow "superior" to dogs. If anything, they should be craven by comparison; Dogs, like humans, can be suicidally brave.
VastaKustutaAnyhow, can't wait to see Rarity outsmart THESE guys! That should be truly satifying^^
>read part five
VastaKustuta>like it, but I can't tell if it's going to be uplifting from here on out because it's a sadfic
>rarity situation is interesting
>ditzy/derpy made me laugh hard.
>mybrainisfulloffuck.png
Well, this isn't really about Pinkie anymore. It's gone off on so many tangents and subplots by this point, I'm not sure what it's really about, lol. Pinkie & Dash are my favourites, though, so I was hoping the subsequent chapters would continue on focusing on these two characters as the first part did.
VastaKustuta@nukeiffum
VastaKustutaJust saw you posted this; I hope you keep it longer, but not with filler. It's a fun read.
this is some pretty good work, keep it up! :P
VastaKustutai originally avoided the sequels after the first story tore me up so much... but after seeing FIVE sequels and >50 comments... i thought it might be worth looking into again. and i was right!
@Anonymous I see wolves as more vicious than Diamond Dogs. And I google searched "what animals eat ponies" and wolves happened to be on that list. I'd usually avoid wolves since they're so overdone... but Google compels me to!
VastaKustuta@Anonymous I don't really see the tangents, since this story is about how /everypony/ would deal with death. Fluttershy handles it the best with her past experiences, Twilight with losing herself in her books for a short time, Applejack handles it with overworking and lashing out, Rarity with sort of losing it just because something's missing in her borderline OCD life, and Rainbow Dash with... you'll see in the next part.
Only pony I felt wasn't really fleshed out was Rarity, and she might get a moment later on. The only real subplot is Applebloom, but I'm mostly just introducing it here and will wrap that up in a spin-off type story later on. The wolves' history was only really a footnote to explain why there are animals that eat ponies around. Nothing else is really going to be done with the other country since Rarity wasn't even really listening after they mentioned the food chain.
Anyways, you'll have more than enough Rainbow Dash in part 6.
@9Nine9 The length really just comes from how detailed I end up being. I wasn't planning to have Rarity's part end up so long, but as I was writing it... yeah. Part 6 might end up being all Rainbow Dash when I start writing it, just because there's a lot of things I can do with her.
Long comment is long.
I loved how you've handled Derpy here. Seemingly crazy and nigh-unintelligible, yet almost coherent at the same time. And, by appearances, a pony of average intelligence (at the least).
VastaKustuta@nukeiffum
VastaKustutaPretty much the same actually, I think the biggest difference would be that I imagine that Dash is the only person (pony?) that she'd actually be a little gentle with.
Also, not to try to influence the story, but I AM curious to see how you think she'd react if she found out that one of those friends she was mocking had recently died. Just saiyan.
@Pacce I tried to make it more like Gilda was just teasing Rainbow Dash, but her definition of teasing is just a bit harsher than others. Think of it this way, her mild insults to Rainbow Dash are more like the way a coach would yell insults at his players to get them motivated.
VastaKustutaAlso, you'll see in part 6. Although that'll have to be put on hold for a bit because tonight I'm raging over Youtube having a black box instead of a video, so I'll probably start on it tomorrow.
@nukeiffum
VastaKustutaTrue enough, it just seemed more harsh than it was given the circumstances.
Wow, this is turning into quite a story! I'm excited to read more. :)
VastaKustutaSent part 6.
VastaKustutaGODDAMN I FELT SAD WHILE WRITING THIS.
Hope all you guys wanting more Rainbow Dash are satisfied, I put a lot of work into this part. It doesn't help that it's the longest part by far...
Anyways, the story's heading into the endgame. Hopefully the ending I have planned will be satisfying for everypony!
so rainbow dash rejected pinkie pie?
VastaKustutaO.O
VastaKustutaPart 6. . .
:)
Ah, now this is getting back into territory I like. So did Rainbow actually reject Pinkie for real prior to her death, or does she simply suspect how Pinkie felt about her and feels guilty about not doing something about it?
VastaKustutaCurrently the best series on here, no arguments.
VastaKustutaNot making Gilda a total jerkass and keeping her as a genuine harsh punk of a friend couldn't have been easy, but it worked.
VastaKustutaPart 6...
VastaKustuta;_;
That hurt.
A lot, actually.
Dear god I need more of this.
VastaKustutaYou know, despite this getting off to a little bit of a rocky start (at least with reviews, I didn't really mind it,) This is shaping up to be quite a respectable piece of work.
VastaKustutaI'm a huge sucker for dream sequences, especially nightmares so the first part of chapter 6 was awesome for me.
And somehow you make nice!Gilda work in a weird backwards sort of way. I doubt they'll ever get into anything this heavy in the show but it'd be cool to have this type of character development.
Damn this is awesome; seems that you're actually building character development after an exposition-tragedy, which wasn't really obvious until now. And that's how tragedies should always be; something of value is gained, most commonly when something of great value is lost. Glad to see you writing a great fic that isn't just about being sad. One of my favorite series on the site atm.
VastaKustuta>mfw Equestria Party
VastaKustuta>mfw I have no face
And this is already on the second page, this site must've moved last night.
@Anonymous The thing with dream sequences is that you can interpret them any way you want. For the record though, it was actually part flashback and part guilt trip... or was it?
@9Nine9 Yeah, there really hasn't been any development until Part 6. The whole story so far has been "THE PONIES ARE SAD AND BAWWWWW," but it can't be helped.
Anyways, I'm hoping to give everypony their catharsis moment, since Part 6 could be seen as a climax and now we're winding down to the resolution. It all depends on how it goes when I get to writing Part 7.
This is the official main theme to this fic:
VastaKustutahttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9BwQGYDLXg
Gilda wins at everything forever.
VastaKustutaholy shit this is heartbreaking. please bring pinkie back to life.
VastaKustutaIn the last part of Part 6, Gilda and Rainbow Dash reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke.
VastaKustutaOh my god, this is an amazing fanfic. I printed the first three chapters to read through during downtime at work one day and I just now finished reading the latest three. I could not agree less with the anon two above me, though, bringing Pinkie back would completely go against the point of the story.
VastaKustutaYou've done a magnificent job with the characterization. I not only can imagine every pony saying their line (and realized what I think Vinyl Scratch's voice would be like), but I pretty much never read and this just rolls by so fluidly. The transitions are perfectly timed and if I had tens or hundreds of millions of spare dollars lying around, I would fund a movie based on this.
Very eagerly awaiting whatever conclusion you have lined up. I don't know exactly what's going to happen, but I'm sure that whatever it is, it'll be...... bittersweet.
>In the last part of Part 6, Gilda and Rainbow Dash reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke.
VastaKustuta>reminded me of Naruto and Sasuke
>Naruto and Sasuke
>Naruto
brb destroying hard drive forever.
@BronyMike DAMMIT YOU TOOK THE LINE THAT I WAS GOING TO DROP AT THE FINAL PART UPDATE COMMENT FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
Rage aside, the way it's going to end is that everything will be a dream and Pinkie Pie will kiss Rainbow Dash and they'll all live happily ever after.
...in the alternate ending anyways. Like hell I'd end it so conveniently.
ANYWAYS, POINT OF THIS COMMENT. Part 7 is finished and sent. It took some time because I was busy the past few days (playin vidya gaems), but it's almost over, everypony! Just one more part and a maybe epilogue to go!
Part 7 is epic adventure time!
VastaKustutaI wholeheartedly approve.
PLEASE BRING PINKIE BACK TO LIFE OH MY GOD
VastaKustutaPart 6... oh wow, great writing there... incredible character development for Dash and Gilda.
VastaKustuta*claps enthusiastically* Muffins! Erm, wait, I mean, adventure!
VastaKustuta*glares at author* Don't you dare kill Applejack!
I can see where this is going, and I'll probably be the only one to say I hope Pinkie remains dead.
VastaKustutaHey. Hey guize. Guess what?
VastaKustutaIt's done, over, sent, and finished.
About 26500 words, 78 pages, and I don't even know how much time later, this story is finally over.
Gotta say it was fun writing it, and even though I could have spent my time doing much much more productive things, writing this story was more fun, so it was worth it.
I hope I was able to write an ending that satisfied everypony. Considering how it ended... is that alternate ending from a long time ago even necessary now? Eh, I included it anyways for completion's sake.
My next story's either going to deal with the Applebloom subplot that ties into Bittersweet, or something else entirely that involves detective ponies. Hope everypony enjoys joins me next time!
OH CELESTIA
VastaKustutaYES
I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE THE REST OF THIS STORY FINISHED. EVERYPONY. REJOICE!!!
In all serious-ness. I honestly cannot wait to read the rest of your phenominal story. This is BY FAR on of the best fan-fics I've read in a DAMN long while.
FUCKING FUCK
VastaKustutaTHIS SHIT IS BEAUTIFUL
I'M SITTING HERE AT THE COMPUTER, FUCKING CRYING
A FULL GROWN MAN, SOBBING AND WEEPING
over a fucking pony story
god fucking damnit
better go to bed or something before i wake up the family
D,:
VastaKustuta-slowclap-
I salute you. God damn you, I mean, shit, holy f**k. I never cry, ever, hell, when I do, its because I hurt myself. But this is an exception. I rarely am honest to god touched by a story, let alone one about, well, ponies. This really was a phenominal read, I'm damn happy with how well you ended it. I think you pleased everpony with the ending, Pinkie really didn't come back, but she didn't really stay dead. I really have nothing else to say except.
You
Rock
I don't usually read the fanfiction, but I have to say, I'm rather enjoying this one.
VastaKustutaThis is the best MLP fic I ever read.
VastaKustutaCongrats, man, I just hope Lauren won't read it, because I don't want to see her cry like I do ;_;
I guess you'd all agree that the ending was...
VastaKustuta/sunglasses
Bittersweet?
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh...
Too bad that joke was done already. ;_;
Oh God, this is the first story to ever make me cry so hard.
VastaKustutaStupid tears! *Weeps in corner*
This is a very well written story, that's all there is to it. You were able to make a story about My Little Pony where one of them gets diabetes, dies, and made it tragic, but heartwarming. Bittersweet is the only way to describe it, as I've already said while reading the ending. You have a good and sad exposition, but everyone seems to mature, to grow, and to learn from it. Everyone reading the final chapter said they were crying, but I couldn't bring myself to cry. Everyone really learned so much, and I couldn't bring myself to, considering Pinkie Pie's request.
VastaKustutaWhat makes it really great is that you represented the characters so well. Rarity basically losing it, Applejack being pissed all the time, Rainbow Dash running away (inb4canonrelationships), everyone is represented as best as can be given the personalities seen on the show. You executed it well, even if the first several chapters are just bawwwwwwwwww. This is a five-star story, it deserves no less.
The only thing I would say is to not read the alternate ending (no offense to the writer), it seems to kind of... well, detract. Sure it's not sad, but that doesn't make it better. But it's all good and all related to the story so it's all good reading.
Now that it's all over, I don't really know how to feel.
VastaKustutaThere are a few problems I have with it, but most of them are inherited from the story's origins (mostly about how ridiculous it would be for Pinkie to ostensibly commit suicide).
But overall, it was a nice heartstrings tugging story with great characterization a very good message about the magic of friendship.
Wow. Just, wow.
VastaKustutaHalfway through the Final, I felt my eyes watering. A few paragraphs later, I shed a tear. By the end I was weeping and sobbing, uncontrollably and loud.
When I had pulled myself together, I decided to read the Epilogue. Tears started rolling down my cheeks again, but I couldn't help but smile at the end. A very weird smile, and I felt a final tear roll down my face. It entered the mouth that I had kept open to be able to ventilate, and I could taste a slight bittersweet sensation.
When reading the Alt. Ending my red eyes kept watering my face, not out of sorrow now, but simply of all the emotions that had built up inside of me and now had started to "melt". When the ending came I had put on a soft smile, and a final tear of joy rolled down my cheek. After having wiped my face and blown my nose, I could finally manage to giggle at the ghostie.
This is the most beautiful thing I ever have, and probably ever will, read.
See, this.
VastaKustutaThis is why this fandom is officially fun.
i just finished reading the whole thing... best manly tears i've ever had.
VastaKustutayou guys are awesome
bawww, bawww everywhere ;_;
VastaKustutaManly tears have been shed...I now have a much greater appreciation for both the show and my bronies...
VastaKustutaI love you all. Don't leave me.
Well, I have to say, this story was absolutely amazing. I haven't read the alternate ending yet. I assume Pinkie Pie returns to life in that version, but I'll find out. Anyway, I can't say that I shed any tears. I actually found myself smiling at the end despite feeling a little sad. All in all, it made me think that at least some of the fanfiction is actually worth reading.
VastaKustutaBut wait, what happened to Applebloom?
VastaKustutaWell, that really did bring on a few tears... very touching story.
VastaKustutaInitially, I was expecting the Epilogue to be something along the lines of "Rainbow dies, and joins Pinkie in the afterlife" type of thing, where the eternal party finally begins. Maybe a good post-epilogue.
This, is one of the most beautiful, most emotionally compelling stories I have ever read. The purity and soul of it all is just so... So great! While I was reading though the finale, I pictured myself sitting among them, watching Pinkie float away as she made her final words. I actually started tearing up as I was reading it. Those were some very powerful words, something I never thought would affect me ever.
VastaKustutaReading the epilogue, I just imagined everything taking placed as it did, and I felt joy. Like a intense twisted combination of happiness and sadness. And believe me when I say it felt great.
The alternative ending wasn't as great as I wished it would have. It seems really dry, since after all the emotion that was built up, it just seemed to somewhat evaporate while reading it, like all the drama the story was collecting just blew up in it.
It matters not. This is one of the among the best stories I have ever read. I would thank you for writing this. But "Thanks" isn't strong enough.
Bless you, for writing this.
After such a perfect epilogue...I'm almost afraid to read the alternate ending.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaBy the way, I agree completly with what Naxts said.
(except for the Alt.Ending, which was ok, since it's supposed to be an ''alternative'' for the end only, and not the story as a whole... like a hint of hope, which many story often lack, even if it's just a quick wrapped thing. Thanks for that.)
But, yeah... What happened to Applebloom ? It's not mentionned anywhere ?
Just finished it.
VastaKustutaMy eyes are watery.
My eyes weren't watery from sadness for six years.
Not a single tear.
Fucking 4chan blackened my heart.
Thanks a lot, internet.
>I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna...
VastaKustuta"Thank you"
>;_;
Okay, I will get any negativity out of the way by starting with the fact that there were some instances of awkward wording and things like that but nothing too serious.
That said, I love you, like, for real. It's hard to pull off a good sadfic and you've done it. The emotional impact of the finale and epilogue were tangible and... ugh. I have nothing to say but to gush so rather than go on and on I'll just say this: you're awesome.
The alternate ending was really sweet in its own way too.
Fuck, I cried.
VastaKustutaDitto Naxts. That story is...incredibly beautiful and powerful and genuinely, painfully heart-wrenching.
oh god. i absolutely bawled. this was so beautiful and so sad.
VastaKustutaBravo Bravo
VastaKustutaFantastic read,I avoided reading this initially but after seeing the reviews I read it,the work put in to this was fantastic. You characterized the Ponies really well. Pinkie's final appearance was awesome.
Though I have a question are you going to make a fic about finding the next holder of the element of laughter?
That ending nearly made me cry. Good story, surr.
VastaKustuta*Sniffle*
... i cried. you really did pinkie pie justice in this
VastaKustuta@nukeiffum Aw, I'm so sorry I took your epic final line. The title does such a perfect job describing the story. WHY CAN I ONLY FIVE-STAR THIS ONCE?
VastaKustutaI wept. My grandfather's funeral was last weekend; I shed a tear or two. With this, tear after tear came streaming down my face. I have nothing against the alternate ending, it did a good job cooling me down after the tearjerker that was the ending and epilogue. All through Ghost Pinkie's return. This is the finest display of characterization I've seen and I cannot praise you nearly enough.
The current poll on ED? Which fanfic type is best? I have no idea how everypony can enjoy shipping so much. The sad stories are the best, and the incredible finale of this tale has cemented that opinion in my heart.
I really hope you work on wrapping up the Applebloom subplot as your next project, I need to know what happened there. Maybe come up with a way of notifying the masses (who don't scan through everyone of your comments here) that you are aware the AB subplot wasn't resolved and that you do plan on finishing it, as you said a while back.
A few stumbles along the way, but the Finale and the Epilogue were more than worth it. That ending was truly fitting and true to the spirit of the series, and of Pinkie Pie!
VastaKustuta>wake up in the morning to get ready
VastaKustuta>see all the comments that popped up overnight
>mfw FEELS REAL GOOD MAN
Really, all those comments makes writing something as long as this story worth it.
To the anons who are asking where Applebloom went, she went to the same place Spike went to. Off-screen adventure time. Eventually I'll get around to writing the story for that side-plot, and it'll be more about growing up than coping, so technically you wouldn't have to read Bittersweet to read that story. I haven't really gotten the plot for it ironed out yet, and it's most likely going to be a much weaker story than Bittersweet, but hey, it's still something to look forward to.
To the bronies who noticed the awkward writing in some places, you can only say "the ponies were sad and crying" so many ways before it starts to sound banal. I'm glad it worked out so it didn't get in the way of the story though.
To the anon who asked about the Spirit of Laughter. No I won't be writing a fic for that, since that'd mean I'd have to make an OC to replace Pinkie Pie, and that's way too tall an order to fulfill. And I'm not really a fan of OCs either.
The alternate ending was written by an anon long ago around the same time the first part was written. It seems pretty weak compared to the epilogue since it's technically supposed to be read after Part 1. I was thinking of not including it, but threw it in anyways for completion's sake.
All that aside, thank you everypony for the feedback! It really makes being a writefriend worth it. I'll probably do the detective pony next instead of Applebloom, but that's just so I can take a break from all the serious stuff and write something lighthearted. Hope to see you all again in the next story!
May I inquire something?
VastaKustutaDuring the final part (Not the epilogue)I noticed there was a bit of talk of the Element of Laughter being 'passed on.' Yet, we never see who it was passed on to. Did you ever have an idea who would wield it after Pinkie Pie?
I know I would be interested to know, maybe there's even more story in that.
you fucking bastard! you made me cry!!
VastaKustutaI was bored out of my wits until Chapter 6 (FUCK YEAH GILDA), but was very glad to see a good strong finish.
VastaKustutaI say...Derpy should get the Element of Laughter! What could diffuse a tense situation better than a random shout of "MUFFIN"?
VastaKustuta@Pecan It's more like the Element of Laughter has to exist on the "mortal" side of reality, so when called it took the first opportunity to cross the border. Bringing along Pinkie Pie's spirit was just a means for the end. Besides, the Elements of Harmony don't need an owner all the time, they were sitting in stone for who knows how long after all! But this isn't really a story about the physics of magic in Equestria, so I'll leave it as "It's friendship, I ain't gotta explain shit."
VastaKustutaMaybe I'll address it in the Applebloom story, I don't know.
This...this made me feel all tingly. Tingly everywhere. Like, warm and fuzzy and weepy all at the same time and why the hell am I talking like Pinkie Pie. Just know that this story is probably a shining example of what us bronies can really do. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have some emotional turmoil while I decide to either weep or laugh. Or both. Or neither. I don't even know.
VastaKustutaWow.. in my opinion this is a pretty powerful story and well like anonpony said above me it makes me feel tingly
VastaKustutaHey!
VastaKustutaWhat happened to Applebloom? <.<
>write 2000 words about CIA ponies
VastaKustuta>decide to trash all of it because it started feeling forced and bad-ish and I didn't want to commit myself to that story
>mfw I wasted two hours of my life
The Applebloom story will have to be put on hold for a bit since I'm not feeling the writing magic at the moment.
/blogcommentdurrhurr
I just want to say Thank you Nuke. This has been an amazing story, and I felt it very much. I almost skip to read it, because I really don´t want to listen or watch things related to diabetes. My father has been dealing with it, and I´m really proud of him, because for 20 years he has take care and tried hard to be healty for him and for my mother and my brothers. But Diabetes is a minnig-health illnes, like AIDS but slower. I´ve been there when a simple cut put in danger his feet, almost loosing it. And we ran to the hospital when we received the calls informing us that my father almost fainted for fatigue or for lack of insuline.
VastaKustutaHe´s like an old dog, and sometimes he drink a sip of a drink with sugar, or tastes some sweets. I can´t be mad with him, and just huge him hard. He gets it soon.
I know someday he will leave us, but the good times, the good memories will remain with me and my family. He is a great man.
I just want to thank you. Your story really made me appreciate and love much more my old man.
This fandom is great, and you are great, nuke.
Just thought I would interject a little *RL Factoid* on this whole subject-
VastaKustutaThere have been no documented cases of diabetes in any equine species.
I don't wish to detract from the hard work the writer put into this story, just to calm any readers who might have ponies of their own.
@arcticwlfNuke had nothing to do with the death originally being caused by diabetes. Plus, I don't think there have been any documented cases of pink talking ponies who defy the laws of physics, either.
VastaKustutaI choked up, and then a tear or two or a hundred took me by surprise. This story was beautiful, And i really enjoyed it.
VastaKustutaArgh! I finished reading it, finally, and I can't stop crying. Damn you, author, for your tear-inducing writing. My nose is all stuffed up now. I still read it though. Ugh, such an emotional masochist. This was especially hard on me because Pinkie's my favorite. I simultaneously hated it for the emotions it inspired and loved it for the depth and its ability to move me. Beautiful piece. I noticed a small number of minor errors perhaps missed in proof reading, but it was plenty well written. I applaud you, author sir.
VastaKustutaThis was just so beautifully written. Someone needs to send this to Lauren Faust.
VastaKustuta@arcticwlf If I had a chance to completely rewrite the beginning, I'd probably change the cause of death to an accident instead of diabetes. But that'd ruin the whole point since I wrote the rest of the story to provide a conclusion, and the diabetes story is the only reason I got into writing ponies in the first place.
VastaKustutaAnd now I'm writing ponies all day erry day.
@K
>implying I proofread
I should really start doing that.
I've been paranoid that I'm getting diabetes cause of this story. Considering I eat about as much sugar as she does. Not sure if I'm imagining it but my feet have been asleep and prickly ever since X_X.
VastaKustutaThe ending made me baww though and it was very well written.
I personally found diabetes a fittingly tragic, and yet, darkly humorous way for Pinkie to go. Also, the scene with Pinkie Pie dying in Rainbow Dash's arms with the cookie crumbs scattered around her, just has an imagery that evokes more emotion than a mere accident could do.
VastaKustutaOk, your story made me cry, too X' D
VastaKustutathis history was like a movie for me, im soo sad for pinkie D,:
VastaKustutaAs someone who doesn't care for Scrubs (it's just not my kind of humor unless I'm inebriated), I liked this and it really did make me tear up at the end. I lost a friend once, not to diabetes, but the message in Twilight's letter still rings true to any loss like that.
VastaKustutaThe only nitpick I have is that the part about Applebloom was never resolved and was pretty much just forgotten about. Why even throw in that subplot if you're not going to bring it to a solution with the rest of the plot?
Also in the exchange between Fluttershy and Twilight about Angel, you left a lot of "she" in their when we know Angel's a boy.
This really made me cry. ): But it was a wonderfully written piece.
VastaKustutaI cried
VastaKustutaHey, Nuke, if you still check comments on this fic, I'd suggest downplaying the Scrubs part of it a bit. Only the original funeral scene is taken from it, the rest of this epic seems to be entirely original content.
VastaKustutaNo offense to Scrubs fans who want the association flaunted, but I've seen a couple of people deterred from reading this (I was a little, too) because they figure the entire thing is based on the plot of an episode or two of some comedy show that doesn't interest them or that they flat-out don't like.
Either way, AB sideplot seems to be coming along quite nicely, looking forward to seeing that develop.
D: I choked up a bit at the end. This is beautiful writing. Each of the characters are portrayed perfectly, I almost cried there at the end and would have had it not been for the party.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous The thing with Applebloom is that I was originally going to use her subplot in the main story, but as I wrote it I realized that I really couldn't fit it in the main story so I dropped it and decided to make it its own separate thing. Look for the story "Apple Blossom."
VastaKustutaAlso, I originally wrote that scene thinking Angel was a girl. After I finished writing most of it, I checked my facts and facepalmed after reading that Angel's a boy. So when I went back and tried to change the instances of "she" to "he" I must've missed a couple pronouns. Fixed all of that now.
@Brony Mike I check every once in a while. I didn't really know how to go about downplaying the association, so as I reformatted every title to make it fit in with how I do titles now, I tried to lessen the association. Don't know how well that works out though.
@nukeiffumActually, I didn't re-check the first couple chapters to see if they'd been updated. I think it's mentioned just as much as it should be now.
VastaKustutaI cried. A lot.
VastaKustutaI cried when I realised that PP was dead as soon as dash was "all dressed up".
I cried relentlessly when pinkie reappeared in the last chapter.
I cried tears of happiness in the alternate ending.
Good show.
I too have cried so much.
VastaKustutaOne of the only fics to have brought me to tears.
Absolutely beautiful and tragic.
...I am not going to bawl over a fanfic based on an animated kids' show about magical ponies.
VastaKustuta...
Aw man. ;_;
That was beautiful. I was worried about reading it at first, because I didn't know how well a fanfic about the death of a main character could go, but I'm glad I gave it a chance. It's well-written, perfectly in character (at least I think so) and the internet references (Dr. Whoof and Derpy) made me smile. It also managed to be extremely heartfelt without crossing over into being melodramatic.
Too emotional to keep going, but that was absolutely wonderful. T_T
THE ENDING ALWAYS GETS ME ;_;
VastaKustutaI cried so flipping hard.
VastaKustutaEverytime ;___;
anyways, how is the alternate ending canon with the rest of it?
In the alternate version was the mane events of the story just a dream or a nightmare of what would have happened if Pinkie didn't make it?
A single tear.
VastaKustutaAlternate Ending was a god send it kept me from feeling complete horrible after reading all of these...
Manly tears....their manly tears damnit ;_;
VastaKustutaOne of the best fics on here, you have my respect bronie.
i stopped reading once doctor whoof came in and ruined everything. Derpy's cool, but fuck doctor who.
VastaKustuta@AnonymousYou stopped reading this masterpiece for like a three-line reference to a fanon background character?
VastaKustutaPart 1 and 6 were really hard for me to read, not that it had anything to do with spelling or anything, it was just that sad.
VastaKustutaThis is the "cupcakes" of sad, 5 stars.
Also please update the label to EXTREME SAD or something along those lines.
horrifyingly sad. I cried when I read this
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustuta>Cupcakes
no
Words cannot describe how many different emotions I felt when reading this, it tugged strings not even published books could make me feel and I commend you for that.
VastaKustutaI applaud the work on this it is the only thing that I have read that has made me anywhere near crying, this story is very good
VastaKustutaI read the whole story just now in one sitting.
VastaKustutaCongratulations, you have reduced a grown man to nothing but tears and crumbled handkerchiefs. I hope you're happy now.
You've also made me start reading pony fanfiction, something I promised myself I'd never do - and that is quite an achievement.
Well played, nukeiffum. I salute you.
You even made me kinda like Gilda. Not sure how that happened but there you go.
VastaKustutaThis makes me want to get my diet straightened out... and I've only read the old fic. I haven't had the guts to read this version yet.
VastaKustutaI read this story from 10pm-1am, and I almost broke down several times. This is truly a gem of writing, even for a fanfic. The visual interpretation is well put, the story is made so it resembles an actual episode, the character development and the plot twists and the... I mean... It's just... Well done sir. I am speechless. This will truly be added to my library of "Greats".
VastaKustutaGoodness gracious me, I found this bald-faced tear-jerker affecting despite myself. I wept early on.
VastaKustutaKilling off Pinkie Pie is sick and evil!
VastaKustutaA better ending would be if Pinkie regenerated in the hospital and revealed to her friends that she's a time lord.
VastaKustutathis story is so sad, it makes me cry :'/
VastaKustutaI nevr knew thta fan fiction could make you suicidal. But this almost did the trick. You should remove it from Equestria Daily before someone takes poison.
VastaKustutaI'd be fine with killing off Rainbow Dash. Killing off Applejack would be fine. Rubbing out Twilight would be tolerable. Writing out Rarity would be somewhat twisted, but I could take it. I could even take the death of Fluttershy like a man. But Pinkie Pie? Nooooooo! I read this and was depressed for days. I'm okay with sad stories, but some things are just TOO sad. Killing off an adorable ball of energy like Pinkie Pie is one of them. Bittersweet and that gorefest known as Cupcakes should be removed from this website. This kind of junk just isn't fair to Pinkie Pie's cheerful, uplifting image!
VastaKustutaYou seemed to be hinting that Equestria has a Greek-style underworld. I refuse to believe it for sanity's sake. I choose to think that Pinkie's in Heaven.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustuta>comparing this to cupcakes
no.
I didn't mean that Cupcakes and Bittersweet are similar. I meant that they both mess with the way Pinkie Pie should be. One makes her evil, and the other makes her dead (and revels in doing so).
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustuta>implying this story revels in her death
For some reason I'm thinking you're either trolling or never actually read through the entire thing. Or trolling.
By "revel" I meant that this story exists for no purpose other than to kill off Pinkie Pie and make the other ponies sad. (And the reader.)
VastaKustutaI've been thinking about your responses to my comments, nukeiffum. I don't think I'm a troll. I think the problem is that I shouldn't be here. I don't like sad fics. I like happy stories. Death fics in particular turn me off. To make matters worse, Pinkie Pie is my favorite character. The above facts color my perception of "Bittersweet". Maybe I should stop thinking about it (I'm a bit obsessive) and go back to lighthearted stuff like "Ponies Play D&D".
VastaKustuta@Anonymous Oh. I guess sad stories aren't just your cup of tea then. However, lumping up this story with Cupcakes, which is really just the complete bastardization of Pinkie's character in order to make a pointlessly ridiculous gorefic, is what irked me.
VastaKustutaI apologize for calling you a troll, but you have to acknowledge that death is something that everypony would eventually have to face. If this story truly "reveled" in Pinkie's death, then there would be no character growth and no moral just like Cupcakes. The characters in this story definitely grew, and a lesson was definitely learned: even if you feel broken up by the death of a loved one, you'll always have your friends to help you through the tragedy.
You have the right to dislike or even hate this story, but don't accuse it of being something it's not.
Fantastic story and damn spot on with keeping everyone in character. But the horrible HORRIBLE SADNESS, I don't think I've been hit like that since Kana: Little Sister. Still, amazingly enjoyable and I'm very happy to have read it.
VastaKustutaNooooooooo! Pinkieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
VastaKustutaWhy would anyone want to read this? It's beyond depressing! It's soul-crushing.
VastaKustutaDeath and Pinkie Pie don't go together.
VastaKustutaOnce again I'd like to thank the commenters for helping me steer clear of another depressing fic.
VastaKustutaI have enough depression in my life as it is and don't really need more piled on top of it.
I like how you brought back the wolves from Memories. I take it the two stories occur in the same timeline?
VastaKustuta@Marrock
VastaKustuta>it has a sad tag
>since_when_were_you_under_the_impression.jpg
@Anonymous Not really. I reused the concept of wolves, but the two stories aren't really connected in any way.
Aww, I thought the mention of a treaty was alluding to events in future sessions of Memories. I love your work, btw. You've written some of the best fics I've ever read. Keep up the great work!
VastaKustutaI have read some of the other Grimdark fics, Stuff like Cupcakes and Rocket did nothing to me. I was raised on horror and suspense, and find it rather trite by now. This was different.
VastaKustutaI have been diabetic for several years, and I know some of that pain. I also lost someone dear to me. Me and my best friend were never able to bring ourselves to admit how we felt for each other. The week she died, I went to visit someone else, and locked her out because I felt she was trying to meddle. The last thing I received from her was her cursing my name for turning against her. She died 2 days later when her heart gave out. A broken heart, you can imagine my guilt. Ever try to drink yourself to death? I did. An entire 5th of 190 proof Everclear in 3 hours. I didn't even throw up, I drank it all.
A year later somone gave me a copy of "Bridge to Tarabithia". I was halfway through and wanted to burn it. It sent me spiraling into another suicidal depression. My family saved me that time. It was 3 years before I could pick it up and finish the book.
This story did the same. However, this time I recovered, proving I had finally learned to deal with the pain, but still haven't forgotten. The alternate ending helped soften the blow, then I watched a 10-hour Pinkie Pie marathon. The tears and laughter were cleansing.
Thank you
...Wow, all the people commenting with shit like "DUDE DON'T KILL OFF PINKIE PIE THIS FIC SUCKS" never read past part one, did they?
VastaKustuta*snivels and sobs*
VastaKustutaOutstanding. Beautifully done. Simply remarkable. Bravo, just bravo. Best MPL.FiM sad story EVER.
....one small detail left out I like to point out.... WHAT ABOUT APPLEBLOOM?! Is she dead too? Did they ever find her?
If they did, A cameo of her that she was indeed found would have been appreciated.
Magnificent. Simply amazing. Can't really describe how good this is. This is the first story ever that made me broke to tears. Thank you!
VastaKustutaDoes anyone else realize how horribly fitting that image is for the fic? Pinkie is crying in in the grasp of death, just before the end of it all.
VastaKustutaI -really- enjoyed this story. Seriously, it had me hooked until 1:20 in the morning. Almost jerked a tear from me too. (it got close on some parts)
VastaKustutaThough, why is this Grimdark? This is more [Sad] if anything. Maye I don't understand the definition of Grimdark.
Again, though, great story. Very much enjoyed! I'd give it a solid 8/10 (that's with 5 being average! None of that unbalanced scale nonsense) I guess my only problem with it is that it eventually had to end. If we keep getting good fanfics like this, we pony fans can survive the drought to season 2 easily. :)
Just finished reading this fic for the second time. Both times I literally burst into tears at the end, and cried a lot. Bravo, an excellent read, 6 out of 5 stars.
VastaKustutaPinkie Pie smiled. “Giggle at this ghostie, and let me see all of your smiles one last time.”
VastaKustutaD':
Being a bit of a Twighlight myself, I have read thousands of books, a good deal of them fiction. I just burned through this story in record time on a whim before bedtime, and I am just blown away completely, NEVER have I been affected by a story as much as this one! I am absolutely miserable, but filled with wonder, and I am left with the feeling that perhaps as bad as things can get they will improve. Bravo Nuke, you have achieved literary greatness - but more importantly - you have reached out to hearts and minds in a way so few can do. I sincerely hope to see more of your amazing work!
VastaKustutaThis story touched me so. Thank you Nuke.
VastaKustutaOh Pinkie... showing up in the ruins like that.
You are random...
Must not cry...
VastaKustutaMust not cry...
Must not cry...
Must not...oh, fuck it.
*cries*
this doesnt deserve to be in the grimdark section
VastaKustutaplease correct it and put it in the sad section
Part 6 made me cry where Rainbow Dash was dreaming about Pinkie Pie. In the beginning, yeah. I'm really glad, Gilda can be nice sometimes.
VastaKustutaFinal part made me cry a lot. I thought she was going to back to life, and I was about to shout "YES" happily until I read the sentence, "The realization that Pinkie was about to disappear for the last time." I was like "No... No! NO! Why! WHHYY!! *tears*" That part, touched my heart so bad. I cried a lot. Rainbow Dash finally confessed saying "I love y-" made me cry more! Plus, that "Giggle at the ghostie, and let me see all of your smiles one last time." made me bawl'd as loud as I can! *sob*
Oh, that alternate ending made me smile so wide at the end! I always support Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie because they are perfect couple! They've been enjoying pranking other ponies since the episode "Griffon the Brush Off!" And now, I'm drawing over Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie!
Well, comment about this story is just fantastic. I have to admit, I can't even think of any other words that are "nice and grateful." Because I'm such a bad commenter. Oh, sorry about typing long comment, just because I have to do it on how I express my feelings to this wonderful fanfic.
I think I should thank you for making me cry, until the alternate ending. I usually enjoyed this fanfic! And again, thank you! :)
Try to read the final chapter of this while listening to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJwgAflY9tg
VastaKustutaAll without getting teary-eyed.
I dare you.
@kirby it's a reference to it, i was just watching that episode earlier, and twilight says exactly what JD says at the funeral.
VastaKustutaI'm at work right now, and crying. a lot. T-T this was not a fun story.
VastaKustuta