• Story: The Bar (Updated Part 3!)

    [Normal] Side characters just bein side characters.

    Author: Needed
    Description: A (possible) new series focusing the interactions of characters that are not the main six. Each story would potentially center around different characters each time. Please give suggestions on what characters you would like to see, and how the writing could be improved.
    The Bar
    The Bar Part 2 
    The Bar Part 3 (New!)

    55 kommentaari:

    1. Nice Watchmen reference^^

      VastaKustuta
    2. I figure electricity in Equestria is squeezed out of clouds in giant presses.

      VastaKustuta
    3. @LordOfTheWrongs

      That...would make a lot of sense, actually.

      VastaKustuta
    4. im ok with this, we need a drunk macanatosh with a trixie

      VastaKustuta
    5. Pretty amusing, had some really good moments
      >then green robot
      LOLWUT

      VastaKustuta
    6. Thank you for all the comments.
      I had thought to myself what things were like for the citizens of Ponyville after taking a look at this list:
      http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Background_ponies
      And decided to write about it, since it seemed like something that would be fun to do.

      Also, there will be Big Mac and Trixie in the next story/chapter/whatever of this.
      I'm not real sure on how specifically I want him drunk, but I'm looking at some Elvis-related stuff.
      Sort of have an idea for a drunk Trixie though.

      Lastly, when you're listening to the same sets of songs over and over again while writing MLP fanfiction, it becomes hard to not make references to the songs.

      VastaKustuta
    7. Poor Celestia, she gets it the hardest. We'll also need a drunken mayor too

      VastaKustuta
    8. Very nice. I look forward to more.

      VastaKustuta
    9. The Mayor and/or Carrot top are the two I'd probably want to see around, if you're taking suggestions that is...

      VastaKustuta
    10. Yeah, I am taking suggestions.

      VastaKustuta
    11. D'awwwwww. Poor Celestia.

      I still won't call Derpy 'Ditzy', though. I don't care what she thinks.

      VastaKustuta
    12. I surprised that we didn't see Luna. I bet she would have a lot of thing to forget too. Beside she rule the night, it is only fair if she enjoy a little the nightlife.

      VastaKustuta
    13. Ditzy and Derpy fighting each other. We need a muffin and cupcake food fight.

      VastaKustuta
    14. Oh, I have an idea for Luna, inspired by a certain piece of fanart.
      Hint that you'll understand if you ever been around misogynistic video gamers: GURL

      VastaKustuta
    15. @Anonymous
      Caramel, Blues, Zecora, Gilda, and Luna?

      VastaKustuta
    16. Btw, This is REALLY good and REALLY believable!

      VastaKustuta
    17. I'd like to see Zecora... maybe Gilda? Glida? How do you spell her name? Geez, that's gonna bug me... no, wait, it's Gilda.

      VastaKustuta
    18. Cutie Mark Crusaders and Spike learn why Underage Drinking is bad.
      Or Spike having a pets' night out with the other pets.
      Because drunk animals are hilarious.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JsZbSzMi08

      VastaKustuta
    19. This is really good! It kindda gives me a personality to these characters in a hilarious way. I love this story! I also caught myself laughing at the ending XD

      You should write about Zecora and and Gilda next!

      VastaKustuta
    20. The CMCs are at the kids' table with root beers and shirley temples.

      VastaKustuta
    21. I absolutely loved this. I've been waiting for someone to write a fic like this - where ponies either go to a bar, or go clubbing. You certainly delivered.

      I'm excited to see what you have for the next chapter.

      VastaKustuta
    22. Cute stuff. I especially like the treatment of Celestia. Very creative.

      VastaKustuta
    23. Funny and very enjoyable. Sunnys entrance felt overtly melodramatic, but maybe that's her prerogative? Two thumbs, will be looking forward to the next installment.

      What the heck happened with the struck-out text in the end?

      VastaKustuta
    24. Zecora and Gilda should be in the next one... totally.

      VastaKustuta
    25. Im waiting for the classic poker game fic.

      VastaKustuta
    26. Lyra and Bon Bon; they seem rather popular but virtually nothing is known about their lives or personalities, so writers could essentially have an opportunity to build a couple characters from the ground up.

      VastaKustuta
    27. I really enjoyed that, although the hints of disaster at the end harshed my mellow a bit.
      I could see Luna coming in right before last call, exchanging a knowing look with her sister and staying after to talk with the barkeep alone. That, or she's the first customer to show up in the afternoon and winds up talking with somepony else who doesn't have the freedom to relax at night.

      I'd also kinda like to read about a fleshed-out Ace.

      VastaKustuta
    28. Save for the ending, this was really awesome.
      Though I kinda sorta disliked the name "Sunny" :V
      (should've been "Sol")

      VastaKustuta
    29. Ohohoho! OOC Ponies sure are funny.

      VastaKustuta
    30. Please make this a new series, the writing's great, I'd like to see an episode with side cast characters like spike, luna, or Zecora.

      VastaKustuta
    31. Again, thank you all for the comments.
      Should be an update tomorrow.
      Although it'll just be around a thousand words long, and only contains four characters (one of which being Big Mac, the other three being characters that have spoken before), I'm looking over the rough draft right now and feel as though it's decent, but need some things revised.

      One more time, thank you.

      VastaKustuta
    32. Okay, here's the 2nd story of the series. I sort of made it longer while revising it.

      https://docs.google.com/document/d/1PnRZ-GaGauWM-cHDwBS6xPBLMq1vDFAYiVDlBlOzyXA/edit?hl=en

      And with it, may Big Mac be added to the tags?

      VastaKustuta
    33. "Big Mac stared off at the clock on the wall. It was 10 PM. Grabbing another can of bear..."

      I have to say, Big Macintosh has my undying respect if he's drinking BEARS. That is one HARDCORE pony. ;)

      VastaKustuta
    34. I know man.
      Why didn't they just let him go after the Ursa Minor?
      He would've killed it stupid.

      VastaKustuta
    35. @AnonymousKilling baby bears is a good way to have a mama bear on your case.

      It's a bad scene man. You don't want that.

      VastaKustuta
    36. Re: Ferns. I could see somepony eating them as bar snacks, but if you're talking about country folk chewing on a stalk just to pass the time, that'd be a tall grass, like wheat. Ferns are closer the the ground plants, more like something Fluttershy would put in a dinner salad. (And then Rarity would go on about the delightful ramps, even though that's only when they're new & not fully bloomed yet.)

      I enjoyed this chapter as well, though it seemed a little strange to have no reference to the barkeep compared to the last chapter. The past tense drama is interesting, since it fleshes out Carrot Top more, but if you decide to revise that's one place where the transitions could be a little smoother.

      I am really looking forward to what you do with Trixie when it's her turn at the bar. :)

      VastaKustuta
    37. Yeah, Trixie will be one of the characters focused upon the next story which might also have Zecora, depending on how the puzzle pieces line up.

      VastaKustuta
    38. I'm hoping for either Trixie or Luna in 3.

      Good stuff anyway

      VastaKustuta
    39. I'm currently at a stump for writing regard the third story.
      So I'll just try to have the fourth story done and up tonight, and try three again another time.

      VastaKustuta
    40. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L0czdg23Rr79PUf_V5yVEou0IWj70zyVTxdHPOghG4o/edit?hl=en

      Here's part 3 (although really it's the fourth story. Oh well, not like they're chronological.)

      Also, Luna is used in this part, so may the tags be updated with her in them?

      VastaKustuta
    41. Needs more Lotus & Aloe.

      VastaKustuta
    42. This was good. Wished it had been longer though, I felt that the story didn't have enough closure, or enough linking between them. That said, they are still great, reminds me a bit of the pixel palace sketches by that guy with the glasses. They're funny, heartwarming, and a joy to read.

      VastaKustuta
    43. Keep'em comin'! These side characters need more love!

      VastaKustuta
    44. I really liked the 3rd part. Though I don't know why you made Luna act all nervious and stuff like that, seems somewhat out of character.

      Still. I'm loving what you're giving, I'm waitinf for more =)

      VastaKustuta
    45. Eh, I just imagined a former-villain who had worked 1000 years on their evil song would be rather nervous about revealing such info.

      Also, I like the princesses being nervous wrecks/incompetent/just big ponies that manage to have a horn and wings.

      VastaKustuta
    46. SOMEONE MADE A FANFIC OUT OF MY PICTURE?!
      I AM SO HAPPY! READING IT NOW!

      VastaKustuta
    47. Love the Protomen reference near the end of the first one. Great story, 5 stars.

      VastaKustuta
    48. I wouldn't mind seeing the Wonderbolts there. The stress of formation aerobatics can really get to an aviator. Also, if they're anything like U.S. fighter pilots, their drink of choice would be Jeremiah Weed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremiah_Weed

      VastaKustuta
    49. That ending to the first part was just unbelievable, i couldn't stop laughing after reading the scored out sections. Made my entire night with one line. Great job with this.

      VastaKustuta
    50. YOU HAVE TO UPDATE

      Also Protomen reference = win

      VastaKustuta
    51. I would really like to see Nurse Redheart and Tenderheart talk with Aloe and Lotus.


      I can see the CMC try to get their "drinking under the table" cutie mark and Dinky Hooves coming along

      Zecora would invite Trixie, Gilda and Stongheart

      VastaKustuta
    52. Reminds me when I go out drinking with my friends. Possibly the best time of my life and gets better with every drink.

      VastaKustuta
    53. These Stories are great. I agree with unknown two up from me Trixie & Gilda + Strongheart. Also Maybe have a Diamond Dog or two show up to play some pool/snooker with say... Big Mac :).

      VastaKustuta