• Story: Twilight/Trixie (untitled)

    by
    [Shipping] Completely missed this one! A new drawfriend this time. Also now updated with better grammar and more story!
    General: A mysterious pony comes into Ponyville but Twilight senses something familiar about her.
    Twilight/Trixie (Untitled)
    Tuesday, February 15, 2011 op
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    26 comments:

    1. AnonymousFebruary 15, 2011 at 1:46 AM

      Where's the rest of it? It's like it cuts off partway through.

      ReplyDelete
    2. Rent5dogsFebruary 15, 2011 at 9:06 AM

      Yeah, sorry haha. Im going to add a lot more tonight.

      ReplyDelete
    3. bubsAKAverminFebruary 15, 2011 at 1:35 PM

      nnngh, it kinda looks like it was thrown into a blender.

      I'm just saying that instead of jumping from Twilight to Rainbow to Twilight and back again to Rainbow, try telling all of Rainbow's part first and THEN go to Twilight's part.

      ReplyDelete
    4. Rent5dogsFebruary 15, 2011 at 6:00 PM

      Going to edit a bunch of stuff thanks to a friendly person I met while reviewing my fic.

      ReplyDelete
    5. AnonymousFebruary 16, 2011 at 3:26 AM

      The last line terrified the HELL out of me...but in a good way XD

      ReplyDelete
    6. Reading BronyFebruary 16, 2011 at 1:22 PM

      @bubsAKAvermin

      Its just a form of story telling. It can actually be quite fun to read at times you just need to keep track of basically two timelines. I feel the transitions between the two are done adequately.

      I look forward to the next part.

      ReplyDelete
    7. Rent5dogsFebruary 16, 2011 at 3:16 PM

      Glad you guys like it. Next part will be up tonight!

      ReplyDelete
    8. Rent5dogsFebruary 16, 2011 at 6:00 PM

      Okay, there we go. Part two is up, and I will be making a part three, but I'm dropping the whole perspective thingy because if I did that it would just be a repeat of Twilights part.
      Any constructive criticism would be great. :D
      Thank you

      ReplyDelete
    9. Rent5dogsFebruary 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM

      Does anyone have anything to say about it?

      ReplyDelete
    10. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2011 at 9:25 AM

      Is there any more to this cause its getting good, besides that its a great story keep it up!

      ReplyDelete
    11. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 2:53 AM

      I like this story, I don't have really a critical point or something

      I just like the story and await the next part eagerly

      ReplyDelete
    12. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 1:25 PM

      okay heres what happened. My computer is having a problem so I'll try my best to get the conclusion up. It's written and everything I just don't have the computer to put it up on the document. I'd say it should be up by late tomorrow or Wednesday. Also, there's going to be another short story after it related to this so keep your eyes peeled for that.
      Thanks for all the support guys. :)

      ReplyDelete
    13. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 9:51 PM

      Updated the story! With my phone, haha! But still, enjoy and as usual, post any problems or things you want to point out!

      ReplyDelete
    14. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:02 PM

      broken

      ReplyDelete
    15. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:40 PM

      >using GOOGLE browser to look at GOOGLE docs
      >you are using an unsupported browser
      waaaaaaaaaat

      ReplyDelete
    16. SethistoFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:51 PM

      @Anonymous

      I think it's due to his creating it with his iphone, the link looks really weird on firefox too.. it works but looks weird.

      ReplyDelete
    17. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 1:16 AM

      lol, at first when Twilight was all "I don't care where you go Spike, but you're not staying here tonight!" it was so reminiscent of someone trying to get rid of their roommate/parents/whoever so they can use the place to get laid, lmao. I was sure there was such a scene coming up in this; but I guess not yet, lol. :P

      ReplyDelete
    18. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 4:19 AM

      I can't read it. It just brings me to the google docs homepage.

      ReplyDelete
    19. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 5:06 AM

      Derppp. I'll try to fix it

      ReplyDelete
    20. AnonymousFebruary 26, 2011 at 3:52 PM

      Nice story. I will read the continuation if there ever is one. IF you updated this one I'd suggest rearranging the first parts so that it flows sequentially, the constant shifting of perspective did not work for me. Maybe even add some stuff. -The part with rainbow Dash was pretty uneventful.

      ReplyDelete
    21. Rent5dogsMarch 2, 2011 at 10:42 PM

      Thanks for all the feedback guys. It means a lot. Right now, I'm working on a story for the writeoff so I should have something new up on the 14th if you would like to check it out.

      ReplyDelete
    22. AnonymousMarch 7, 2011 at 4:09 PM

      still not working

      Do I really need an account to read it?

      ReplyDelete
    23. Rent5dogsMarch 7, 2011 at 8:23 PM

      @Anonymous

      No, you shouldn't. Let me check it.

      ReplyDelete
    24. AnonymousMarch 19, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      Not working yet... goes to the "google docs" main page and stays there.

      ReplyDelete
    25. AnonymousMay 24, 2011 at 3:18 AM

      google docs homepage? thats not as exciting to read.

      ReplyDelete
    26. Junaid HussainOctober 12, 2011 at 10:42 PM

      Wow that romance was astoundingly smooth, until the end 4.5/5 sry

      ReplyDelete

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