Description: Luna saves Ponyville from a crisis, and gains a rather un-goddess-like crush as well. Part 1 of a few.Moonlight Dreams
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[Shipping] I'm seeing a lot of Luna shipping this valentines day! Is she the secret representative of the lonely "pony thread on valentines day" people out there?!
esmaspäev, 14. veebruar 2011 op 13:12
Sildid: Big Mac, Fanfiction, Incomplete, Luna, Shipping, Star-3, Story
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12 kommentaari:
Author here. Please, be brutal with critique. I need to get better! Thanks.
VastaKustutaThat was nice, but it's not the first Big Mac and Luna story, and well she could do something more awesone when saving Ponyville.
VastaKustutaI really liked this one, and can't wait to see where it goes.
VastaKustutaFor critique, I almost missed the part where she solved the problem as it was only about 1 sentence. Other than that, 5/5.
I'll definitely be keeping up with this one.
VastaKustutaEven considering that not much actually happened in this chapter (which isn't really a problem), it could have been much longer.
Cute story, great way to fill the gap of happy Luna fics.
VastaKustutaFor critique I'll say the action of Luna breaking the storm was underwhelming, and felt rather glossed over, but granted it seems more a shipping fic that's not really a big issue.
VastaKustutaAnywho, I look forward to seeing where it goes. I'm definitely enjoying it so far.
Very good, althou yeah it could have been longer but the overall is quite good. You should seriously consider making a sequel :3
VastaKustutaTo be brusk, MOAR!!!!! please
VastaKustutaI hope you haven't abandoned this. I really enjoyed it and I'd love to see more. You have obvious skill as a writer; I really think the length was the only thing holding this back.
VastaKustutaIt could certainly be expaned upon. But the idea was nice.
VastaKustutaI didn't mind Luna wiping out the storm to be so effortless. I mean, she's a deity on the hoof. It honestly SHOULD be that simple, wave your hand and the planet bows to your very whims.
VastaKustutaBut again, it seems like that's NOT what the point of this story is about. For that, we've got to hang out around Mac's window again the next time the moon rises.
it's a really good start. I like how you Luna it portrayed as a great and powerful ruler, but doesn't really quite understand all the things in life. I really hope you write and finish this story up. I really enjoy this kind of love story. I hope you write another part soon!
VastaKustuta