Author: Cottonmouth
Description: When Snails has a disturbing revelation, he decides to take life into his own hooves.It's Not Where You Go...(Chapters 1-7)
It's Not Where You Go... (Chapter 8) (New!)
Also, Cottonmouth would like to extend Special Thanks to PoorYorick and Larince for this one.
98 comments:
Keep me updated on what you ladies and gents think of this story. If it doesn't catch your attention too much, I'll cull it.
ReplyDeleteIf it seems to be chugging along, I plan to make it a pretty huge fic though.
Also blog Owner you didn't put the 3 dots after Go? WHY?
Still, thanks for uploading, and thanks everyone for reading.
Rate and Comment!
I'm loving the characterization you've given Snails in this fic, CM! Keep up the good work because I'll be reading! =D
ReplyDeleteThe story of the tortoise mastering life over the hares and maybe a friendship with Trixie?
ReplyDeletecontinue iiiit!!
ReplyDeleteGo Snails! Show the world who's boss!
ReplyDeleteHey I updated it to contain chapter 2.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty much my first time writing any scene with a bit of action in it, so give me your thoughts.
Don't expect chapters out this frequently though, I just had a lot of time and a burning ambition to write Chapter 2.
Rate and comment, and tell me what you think of the fic so far! Criqique helps! Thank you for reading.
More developed critique to follow (if I get the time), but I did want to say - I got "new episode on Youtube" excited when I saw the 'Updated!' tag next to this in the sidebar.
ReplyDeleteThis is great.
ReplyDeleteI never thought a side character like Snails could be fleshed out so well.
whoa this story is amazing; who would've thought Snails could that lol. can't wait to see what your take on Trixie will be.
ReplyDeleteChapter 3 is up, with the introduction of Trixie. How has she fared after the incident in Ponyville?
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading, and I'll try to keep the updates consistent.
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteHey cotton, can you send me a new link? Getting server errors now. C
Works fine for me.
ReplyDeleteMust say, your characterisation of Trixie is one of the best I have seen so far. And Snails is more than just an idiot (something even the actual show struggles with)! Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteChapter 4 is up.
ReplyDeleteTell me what you think of Trixie specifically, I want opinions on her.
Feedback on Snails is good stuff to.
JUST GIVE ME FEEDBACK. Thank you for reading.
I like how you use Trixie.
ReplyDeleteshe is in charachter =)
Now this is pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteDo want!
I like how you keep Trixie in-character in terms of arrogance but give hints that she's not a complete bitch through and through and may actually have layers to her.
ReplyDeleteI also like the way you write Snails' train of thought. You can sort of see the narrative getting out of focus until someone interrupts him. Very amusing and immersive.
This is shaping up to be one of my favorite stories on this site. Keep up the good work.
@Ebon Mane
ReplyDeleteYeah I kept reading other fics where Trixie would come back to Ponyville being all apologetic and seeking forgiveness.
I didn't want that. I see her as someone who would go out, get even stronger, then come back and show them her new power.
Trixie definitely is not a complete bitch. The reasons she acts the way she does is a part of the hardships of the road combined with a slightly troubling past that I'll get to later.
Writing Snails is pretty fun, but I have to make sure not to overdo it. Drifting off of the narrative and then quickly snapping back to it is funny and gives you insight on to why he is the way he is.
Thank you so much for reading, Spirng Break for me is 1 week away, so expect a ton of updates around then.
I love these kinds of stories so much.
ReplyDeleteNice to see Snails given depth of Character and I'm really warming up to Trixie.
Keep it up.
This is an excellent fic, and right now the only one I'm checking regularly for updates. Please, continue.
ReplyDeleteChapter 5 is up.
ReplyDeleteI really REALLY REALLY had to slug myself through this one. I can't pinpoint what exactly the problem was.
I need to know if this Snails (hah) pace effected my writing in any way. Please give opinions on the newest chapter, and how it compares to the chapters before it.
Thank you for reading.
Why is this so awesome?
ReplyDeleteCh. 5 was amazing!
Um... not really shure what to say, I'm not a good critic. I do have a oppinion in my head, but I have trouble putting stuff like that into words...
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteBlogger lost my first comment, damnit... after I had closed the editor that I pasted out of.
I like the way you write Trixie, and you managed to make me like Snails.
I’m not surprised this felt like it took extra... Ch 5 is more than a third of your story!
Any difficulty pushing through that you felt didn’t hurt the quality of your prose. Clear and engaging throughout.
I think the sheer volume of story you packed into chapter 5 was working against you. You’re bringing a lot of things into play leading up to the performance, and I think that working out how to present the information you need to present and keep the tension up was likely a difficult task.
Your flashback transitions are a bit abrupt and the flashbacks are long. You’ve packed a lot into the first flashback especially. We get our first view of an important backstory character, some young Trixie, and a big chunk of your theory of unicorn magic. While this works as written, I think it could also work if you salted the flashback info back through the earlier action... a more distributed build up to a faster reveal could yield a nice emotional hit. Might make the pacing a bit easier to manage, too. (I realize that this isn’t a practical possibility when you’re doing publicly serialized chapters...)
Writecrafty prodding aside, the flashback worked. I absorbed your theory, and I liked Trixie’s training and Snail’s internalization of the lesson. That’s a difficult bit to write engagingly, and you succeeded.
I thoroughly enjoyed the story, all chapters. I’m looking forward to the next chapter, and I think I’ll be digging up and reading any of your fics that I’ve missed.
And curse you for making me like Snails.
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteBlogger lost my first comment, damnit... after I had closed the editor that I pasted out of.
I like the way you write Trixie, and you managed to make me like Snails.
I’m not surprised this felt like it took extra... Ch 5 is more than a third of your story!
Any difficulty pushing through that you felt didn’t hurt the quality of your prose. Clear and engaging throughout.
I think the sheer volume of story you packed into chapter 5 was working against you. You’re bringing a lot of things into play leading up to the performance, and I think that working out how to present the information you need to present and keep the tension up was likely a difficult task.
Your flashback transitions are a bit abrupt and the flashbacks are long. You’ve packed a lot into the first flashback especially. We get our first view of an important backstory character, some young Trixie, and a big chunk of your theory of unicorn magic. While this works as written, I think it could also work if you salted the flashback info back through the earlier action... a more distributed build up to a faster reveal could yield a nice emotional hit. Might make the pacing a bit easier to manage, too. (I realize that this isn’t a practical possibility when you’re doing publicly serialized chapters...)
Writecrafty prodding aside, the flashback worked. I absorbed your theory, and I liked Trixie’s training and Snail’s internalization of the lesson. That’s a difficult bit to write engagingly, and you succeeded.
I thoroughly enjoyed the story, all chapters. I’m looking forward to the next chapter, and I think I’ll be digging up and reading any of your fics that I’ve missed.
And curse you for making me like Snails.
This is a wonderful story, and it's really making me like the two most unlikely characters.
ReplyDeleteYou could probably end the story there tbh, but PLEASE tell me there will be a Ch. 6! It was pretty great.
ReplyDeleteI heard from a reliable source that there'll be more.
ReplyDeleteI think I might frighten some readers with this post, but I'm not even sure if we are halfway done. Also expect it to get... 'darker' as it goes on.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of conflict planned out, and conflict is good.
By the way. This fic won't be outstepping it's boundaries length wise. I have the rest of the fic clearly in my head now. I just need to write it. Ugh.
Now that I read it though.... I do agree that is a pretty good place to end it... and I AM kinda swamped in college studies right now. If I go on I'm afraid it might end up like those TV shows that should have ended after the first/second season.
ReplyDeletePlease don't end it here; I agree that it's a fairly good place to end it, but it also feels like there's just so much more for you to tell.
ReplyDeleteThat said, no need to rush it. That's not what Snails would do.
Yes, please do continue it. This is definitely my favorite pony fic, and the only one I really look forward to seeing updated. I'd hate to see it die early.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry guys I was just trolling you. I have no plans to end the fic until I uh.. reach the end I have had planned since the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI am a person who has been mentally scarred by unfinished fanfiction. I once read a fanfiction for some game I use to play and it was written better than even some top class novels.
Then the author disappeared after the fifth chapter. I was extremely sad.
Don't worry guys, I got this.
Holy shit. Chapter 6.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry guys. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm writing so slow...
Please rate/comment etc. This one needs a lot of critiquing. A LOT.
By the way do any of you know what a "Hack Writer" means? Fon called me one and never told me what he meant by it, so I was wondering if any of you knew.
Oh one more thing. Fon wants you all to know this is a shitty and boring fic. Sorry to anyone who likes it. Guess you just don't have good taste.
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteDramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadrama
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYou know I appreciate comments on my fic, but spam just isn't any good. Please refrain from spamming the comments.
Instead, please read the fic then leave any feedback you may have here. That way your post will contribute to bettering my writing!
Who is Fon, and why should I care? That person can go get bent. This is one of the better fics I've read, by far.
ReplyDeleteEverything you're doing with this story has been great so far, and the characters feel like they're behaving appropriate to their personalities.
I can't offer any critiques, as writing isn't my forte, but the best I can suggest is to take your time with each chapter. Don't adhere to some arbitrary deadline just to keep everypony from waiting too long for the next chapter. Release each one when you feel your writing is where you want it to be. Quality over quantity. It'll be worth it.
“… ‘and then they kissed?’ Are you sure that’s a good way to end your novel?”
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there.
Wow, Paradise _and_ this updating on the same day... I'd insert a "best day ever" here, but I'll reserve that for when both stories actually finish. And they damn well better.
ReplyDeleteThis story makes me like Snails way more than I ever thought I would, and every step of Trixie's redemption makes me give a little cheer inside. Definitely somewhere in my top ten.
Huh, it seemed so complete after chapter 5 that I was sure the next chapter would have snails going back home and helping out his mom with his new found talent. You're doing a good job of keeping the story going however, I look forward to the next installment.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think I SHOULD have ended it here.
we'll see.
This is great! While the story could have ended in Chapter 5, the background of Trixie easily calls for further character development before a complete closure. Stories often begin with one character, but as he/she meet others it can easily revolve around them as well.
ReplyDeleteBeing that Trixie is a major role in this story, she deserves extra lines to flesh her out as well, so as not to make her seem like a tool in pushing the plot along of Snails finding his true ability.
This is incredibly well written, I was honestly surprised. I hope you continue it, and I hope you`re happy you made Snails one of my favorite characters.
ReplyDeleteI am loving this. Please continue.
ReplyDeleteSurpriiiiiiiiiiiise! I'm back!
ReplyDeleteUpdated with chapter 7, the longest chapter so far. Enjoy the read, and for Celestia's sake, PLEASE COMMENT. I NEED FEEDBACK MORE THAN EVER. THANK YOU.
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteD'oh boy! A new chapter! I'll have to wait until later tonight to read it though. :/
Great chapter! Oh god now I can't wait for the next one
ReplyDelete@Anonymous:
ReplyDelete>I never thought a side character like Snails could be fleshed out so well.
youmustbenewhere.jpg
I enjoyed this newest chapter and I look forward to seeing more of your interpretations of Trixie and Snails. Also, was that a small nod to Fist of the Northstar that appeared in one of the later lines?
ReplyDeleteI seriously hope this doesn't end up like :
ReplyDelete''Snail goes home. And Trixie was forgotten, still cold-hearthed and unchanged, etc...''
OR
''Trixie find Snails, offer some excuses, then go back to never be seen''
That would be quite a disappointing ending.
CH. 7 was really great! Can't wait for the next one.
ReplyDelete@nova_25
ReplyDeleteTHIS would be a realistic ending! A person like Trixie can't change all of a sudden.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was thinking of a line that would show that Hailfire believed Snails would get destroyed.
The simple line "You are already dead." Popped up in my mind and I ran with it.
Thank you all for your feedback. It motivates me to continue writing.
Isn't it obvious? This is going to end in a snails/twilight/trixie threesome. Pssh, duh.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI see you've been reading between the lines as well.
I saw the signs too.
Wow. This fic continues to be awesome. I can't wait to read the end.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is great! Absolutely love it.
ReplyDeleteYO, QUIT TROLLIN' SETH AND FINISH THIS SHIT. I FUKIN LOVE THIS STORY BRO.
ReplyDeleteYOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MAN.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI blame finals.
But know this: The story IS being worked on. The next chapter is currently closing in on 7k words. I'm pretty sure its going to be by far the longest chapter to date. Just hold on a bit longer.
I love how as soon as the fic gets bumped, the fic gains 3 votes immediately and drops half a star.
ReplyDeleteDon't vote unless you've read the fic. 1 starring my stories because of your opinions of me is childish.
Anyways, chapter 8 is out.
I was wondering why this is a four star story, should be five!
ReplyDeleteI approve. Good story, great characterization... just overall a fun read.
ReplyDeleteFinally. I was worried you drop the story.
ReplyDeletex()~
FFFFFFFFF-
ReplyDeleteI was just about to start bugging you again about this.
Will read later.
This is definitely one of my favorite fics on this site. It's just simply the best.
ReplyDeleteI'd vote it a 5, but I cant see the stars to vote any more, for some strange reason.
[SPOILER WARNING]
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how I missed this one. I just read all 8 chapters non stop. This is really, really good stuff. Its a great explanation for Snails Cutie mark and his special talent. I love how you portray Trixie.
I am not quite sure where the notion of Trixie's mother dying when she was still a filly comes from (probably fan-art), but its a recurring theme. I love how you tackle the subject. Its still short, but its written well. The one thing that bothers me is that Snails, despite realizing his mother must be missing him, is not trying to contact her in any way. A letter is written quickly enough one would think.
Still, that is a minor complaint. In my opinion, this should be a 6 star story. No question. I see its been going on for quite some time, with large breaks in between chapters. I do hope we won't have to wait to long for the next.
Good Stuff. I thought I saw CH.9 was going to be the last but looking again, I see now that isn't necessarily true. I didn't think of this until I read the part where snails wanted to go back to Stalliongrad.
ReplyDeleteHaving them continue their journey back to ponyville seemed appropiate to me before snails said that, but if you got more up your sleeve, I'm willing to read on. Hopefully, this gets a 6 star rating at some point.
Great story. Your characterization of both Trixie and Snails is very believable. I'm glad you kept Trixie as very much the same pony, arrogant and rude, but also gave her a soft side. Her past seems very troubling and considering the influences around her as she grew up, it's no surprise she's the way she is now.
ReplyDeleteSnails was excellent too. You've given him a lot of depth and made him a lot more than the village idiot. If he only just discovered his special talent now though, I wonder what led to him getting his cutie mark.
Anyway, it looks like you've got a lot to wrap up in what will be (supposedly, according to your TOC) the last chapter. I look forward to reading it.
What a lovely story.
ReplyDeleteNO I can't read this because of the terms of use violation
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this story, cotton.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing it, and I look forward to its conclusion.
I love This Story Can't wait to read part 9. I was almost in tears during some of the story. Also Snails is ZA Wordo!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7wzJ6EJdvY
ReplyDeleteI've read a lot of fanfiction, and this is by far the most heartwarming, inspiring, well written, and all-around GREATEST story I had the privilege of reading. Like Snails, I am very slow...
ReplyDeleteIt took me over 6 hours just to read the first seven chapters! I can relate to Snails, as I've been very poor most of my life, my mother even skipped dinner just to feed me, too. The growing relationship between Snails and Trixie was beautiful, and I was on the verge of tears several times throughout the story.
You have clearly surpassed whatever sets a fanfic from fanfic gold, by far. Thank you very much for writing this story, Cottonmouth. I eagerly await your future work.
I give you 7/5 stars. Good show.
I feel as though I am obligated to read this. Well, let's start. I'll give my opinion when I'm done.
ReplyDeleteThis is to me one of the best stories I've read so far. My only complaint is that chapter 8 had so much italics it had me see normal text as left-leaning for some minutes :p
ReplyDeleteawesome.
ReplyDeleteI hope you add in some r34 stuff with Trixie and Snails soon.
ReplyDelete^wat
ReplyDeleteI hope he doesn't mean shipping.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this is too close to the ending to die now! Please finish it!
Please finish this story. Please.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI gotta admit, I'm quickly losing interest. Sometimes I'll just have the tab to the page opened up for like... 7 hours and not write a single word.
I can't tell you for certain anymore whether this will ever be finished or not.
Even so, thank you for expressing your concern. Seeing posts like yours and Ddude28's definitely gives me a small spark of inspiration.
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteIt'd be a terrible shame if this goes unfinished, but don't burn yourself out. If you're not feeling it but still go through with it, you'll not like it and it'll show.
If the "worst" comes to pass and you know you won't finish it properly, it'd be nice to just get few short paragraphs just letting us know how you'd've ended the story. Incompletes kills me -_-
I'm with Ril on this one. This is one of my favorite stories on EqD, and I sincerely hope you bring it to a full, satisfying conclusion. If you're unable to I'll understand, but I desperately want to see more of this.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see I'm not the only one bugging you to finish this.
ReplyDeleteIt's all good though, take your time.
I truly do hope that this story is concluded someday... This was on my short list of fics that were on "read any updates immediately upon release" status.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, this is one of my favourite fanfics on the blog, and it was the only one that holds the special place of not being deleted after reading on my GoogleDocs page. Hope you do get around to finishing this one day.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, this is one of my favourite fanfics on the blog, and it was the only one that holds the special place of not being deleted after reading on my GoogleDocs page. Hope you do get around to finishing this one day.
ReplyDeleteCottonmouth dude I really hope you continue this one. Of the over 40 fics I've ever read this is definitely my second favorite adventure story. You can't let a gem like this die
ReplyDeleteAh, this is my personal favourite as well, so I do too hope that you'll finish this someday! We'll wait patiently for your triumphant return and your conclusion to this story.
ReplyDeleteThis deserves to be continued simply because it's the only non-comedy Snails fic I've seen. The fact that it's actually good as well is just a bonus.
ReplyDeleteI really do hope you finish this one day, Cotton. I loved every minute I spent reading this fic.
ReplyDeletei sincerely hope there is more to tell with this story. it is beautifully written, and i have thoroughly enjoyed reading it so far. please keep it up Cotton, i am awaiting any further updates you decide to add :)
ReplyDeleteJep, I keep checking here once and again as well to see if there is any news. The day I see a new chapter I'll probably react like Fluttershy did after seeing the Sonic Rainboom.
ReplyDeletePart 9 will come out before season 2 ends.
ReplyDeleteMaybe.
@Cottonmouth
ReplyDeleteOh so its not dead? Thank god. That really made my day. This is one of my top 5 favorite fanfics. And I think I've read about 100 by now.
http://fim.413chan.net/fic/res/12320.html
ReplyDeleteNeed thoughts.
I am very glad to hear that the story is not dead!! this was one of the first fics i read, and i was upset that it lacked an ending.
ReplyDeletelooking forward to seeing how it ends!!
This is my favorite mlp fim fanfic, and im very glad to hear the story isn't dead. :]
ReplyDeletePlease in the name of Celestia, I beg of you to finish this. This is the best Snails story that I have ever read.
ReplyDelete