• Story: Confusion

    by
    [Shipping] Dash shipping; the best kind of shipping.Written by Derkaiser
    Summary: Rainbow Dash is plagued by strange new feelings for some of the other ponies.
    Confusion
    Sunday, February 6, 2011 op
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    19 comments:

    1. AnonymousFebruary 6, 2011 at 11:01 PM

      That's a cute pic; I like her expression.

      ReplyDelete
    2. AnonymousFebruary 6, 2011 at 11:37 PM

      Cute story! Shame how short it was though, I hope there's some continuation.

      ReplyDelete
    3. DerKaiserFebruary 6, 2011 at 11:41 PM

      @Anonymous

      There will be, hopefully.

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousFebruary 7, 2011 at 9:48 PM

      Gah. I really liked reading this.
      I'm hoping you continue with it.

      ReplyDelete
    5. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 1:15 PM

      Part 2's broken.

      ReplyDelete
    6. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 1:37 PM

      Even when you correct the link to remove the "blogger" stuff at the beginning of the URL, the story still gives me a "request permission to view this?" thing. Has the author put it on private or something?

      ReplyDelete
    7. SethistoFebruary 13, 2011 at 1:43 PM

      Same issue, we just have to wait until he makes it "anyone with a link".

      ReplyDelete
    8. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 2:04 PM

      God, isn't there any better way to view these than Google Docs? It seems like all the ones uploaded on there are messed up somehow.

      ReplyDelete
    9. SethistoFebruary 13, 2011 at 2:06 PM

      @Anonymous

      Deviant art or fanfiction.net still work.

      ReplyDelete
    10. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      Honestly? I need to see this one. I just HAVE to, but the google docs page isn't set up properly...

      ReplyDelete
    11. DerKaiserFebruary 13, 2011 at 3:09 PM

      Uhhhhhh blog pony I said that I threw away this chapter, I made the link private.

      ReplyDelete
    12. SethistoFebruary 13, 2011 at 3:26 PM

      @DerKaiser
      oh, alright.
      Deleted it then.

      ReplyDelete
    13. DerKaiserFebruary 13, 2011 at 4:04 PM

      I'll probably start writing a replacement chapter later tonight though, for everypony that's waiting.

      ReplyDelete
    14. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2011 at 5:07 PM

      FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

      ReplyDelete
    15. Fairy SlayerFebruary 13, 2011 at 7:46 PM

      @DerKaiser
      I just read "both versions" and both were decent. You have a good vision for what's happening the scenes. The visuals you make, especially in the "not really chapter 2" are lovely. Now, the writing itself gets a bit cumbersome in places, especially when sentences start to get too long or don't get to the point. Fortunately (in my opinion) there isn't too much of that. It probably just needs a little re-working here and there, plus better proofreading.

      Sure, you could tighten / trim a bit more, but don't do too much. (I was on the trimming kick for a while, until I noticed that even my sex scenes were starting to read like technical manuals.) My other personal opinions on style are to avoid just giving background when you could slip it into the action or dialogue, if it won't get cluttered or awkward, but that's an area for great nitpicking and, like I emphasized, personal choice.

      "Dash's" pre-dawn view of Equestria had good romantic detail in itself, and that extra little bit of awe helped me get into her pensive mood. Then it was easier to understand how the conflict was slowly turning over in her mind. In fact, even though you can't really merge both chapters into one, maybe you'll find an opportunity to use some of what's in "not really chapter 2" later.

      Okay, even I'm coming across as a pompous windbag at this point. So, basically, I hope you keep working on and finishing this story. I'm intrigued.

      ReplyDelete
    16. Amethyst BoltMarch 3, 2011 at 10:21 AM

      So cute, I hope to Celestia that you continue the story!

      ~Love and Tolerance <3~

      ReplyDelete
    17. chinlampApril 19, 2011 at 8:01 AM

      Damn, now I want to read the rest. Whatever happened to that continuation DerKaiser?

      ReplyDelete
    18. WeirdRaptorMay 17, 2011 at 4:25 AM

      Pssth! Dash, Dash, Dash. The answer is obvious. Three-way! Pinkie will probably swing with anyone and you just know Applejack would accept any beverage handed her and would down it without ever noticing your little 'addition' to it.

      ReplyDelete
    19. Autumn WindAugust 2, 2011 at 8:57 PM

      That was quite cute. Hoping to see more. ^^

      ReplyDelete

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