• Story: Confusion

    by
    [Shipping] Dash shipping; the best kind of shipping.Written by Derkaiser
    Summary: Rainbow Dash is plagued by strange new feelings for some of the other ponies.
    Confusion
    pühapäev, 6. veebruar 2011 op
    Sildid: , , , ,
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    19 kommentaari:

    1. Anonüümne6. veebruar 2011, kell 23:01

      That's a cute pic; I like her expression.

      VastaKustuta
    2. Anonüümne6. veebruar 2011, kell 23:37

      Cute story! Shame how short it was though, I hope there's some continuation.

      VastaKustuta
    3. DerKaiser6. veebruar 2011, kell 23:41

      @Anonymous

      There will be, hopefully.

      VastaKustuta
    4. Anonüümne7. veebruar 2011, kell 21:48

      Gah. I really liked reading this.
      I'm hoping you continue with it.

      VastaKustuta
    5. Anonüümne13. veebruar 2011, kell 13:15

      Part 2's broken.

      VastaKustuta
    6. Anonüümne13. veebruar 2011, kell 13:37

      Even when you correct the link to remove the "blogger" stuff at the beginning of the URL, the story still gives me a "request permission to view this?" thing. Has the author put it on private or something?

      VastaKustuta
    7. Sethisto13. veebruar 2011, kell 13:43

      Same issue, we just have to wait until he makes it "anyone with a link".

      VastaKustuta
    8. Anonüümne13. veebruar 2011, kell 14:04

      God, isn't there any better way to view these than Google Docs? It seems like all the ones uploaded on there are messed up somehow.

      VastaKustuta
    9. Sethisto13. veebruar 2011, kell 14:06

      @Anonymous

      Deviant art or fanfiction.net still work.

      VastaKustuta
    10. Anonüümne13. veebruar 2011, kell 14:30

      Honestly? I need to see this one. I just HAVE to, but the google docs page isn't set up properly...

      VastaKustuta
    11. DerKaiser13. veebruar 2011, kell 15:09

      Uhhhhhh blog pony I said that I threw away this chapter, I made the link private.

      VastaKustuta
    12. Sethisto13. veebruar 2011, kell 15:26

      @DerKaiser
      oh, alright.
      Deleted it then.

      VastaKustuta
    13. DerKaiser13. veebruar 2011, kell 16:04

      I'll probably start writing a replacement chapter later tonight though, for everypony that's waiting.

      VastaKustuta
    14. Anonüümne13. veebruar 2011, kell 17:07

      FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

      VastaKustuta
    15. Fairy Slayer13. veebruar 2011, kell 19:46

      @DerKaiser
      I just read "both versions" and both were decent. You have a good vision for what's happening the scenes. The visuals you make, especially in the "not really chapter 2" are lovely. Now, the writing itself gets a bit cumbersome in places, especially when sentences start to get too long or don't get to the point. Fortunately (in my opinion) there isn't too much of that. It probably just needs a little re-working here and there, plus better proofreading.

      Sure, you could tighten / trim a bit more, but don't do too much. (I was on the trimming kick for a while, until I noticed that even my sex scenes were starting to read like technical manuals.) My other personal opinions on style are to avoid just giving background when you could slip it into the action or dialogue, if it won't get cluttered or awkward, but that's an area for great nitpicking and, like I emphasized, personal choice.

      "Dash's" pre-dawn view of Equestria had good romantic detail in itself, and that extra little bit of awe helped me get into her pensive mood. Then it was easier to understand how the conflict was slowly turning over in her mind. In fact, even though you can't really merge both chapters into one, maybe you'll find an opportunity to use some of what's in "not really chapter 2" later.

      Okay, even I'm coming across as a pompous windbag at this point. So, basically, I hope you keep working on and finishing this story. I'm intrigued.

      VastaKustuta
    16. Amethyst Bolt3. märts 2011, kell 10:21

      So cute, I hope to Celestia that you continue the story!

      ~Love and Tolerance <3~

      VastaKustuta
    17. chinlamp19. aprill 2011, kell 08:01

      Damn, now I want to read the rest. Whatever happened to that continuation DerKaiser?

      VastaKustuta
    18. WeirdRaptor17. mai 2011, kell 04:25

      Pssth! Dash, Dash, Dash. The answer is obvious. Three-way! Pinkie will probably swing with anyone and you just know Applejack would accept any beverage handed her and would down it without ever noticing your little 'addition' to it.

      VastaKustuta
    19. Autumn Wind2. august 2011, kell 20:57

      That was quite cute. Hoping to see more. ^^

      VastaKustuta

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