Author: Northern Lights
Description: When Twilight arranges a group camp-out, the ponies end up discussing their dream stallions around the campfire. Everyone is surprised by what they learn about each other, and the two ponies least interested in romance find they have a lot in common.Campfire Stories
[Shipping]
Description: Months have passed since the events in Campfire Stories, so how will Twilight Sparkle feel when Rainbow Dash starts talking about dating other ponies.Soaring High (Author is re-working it based on feedback)
Additional Tags: TwiDash, Shipping, Romance, Same-sex
91 kommentaari:
You seem really worried about stepping on peoples' toes with the whole shipping fics versus non-shipping fics thing lately.
VastaKustutaYeah, don't worry too much about the haters. Haters gonna hate; nobody's forcing them to read every story.
VastaKustuta"When you try to please every-pony, you often times end up pleasing no-pony, especially yourself"
VastaKustutaGreat story! Hope to see more from the author!
VastaKustutaI found this adorable. :3
VastaKustutaAnd what the three frist anons said.
There definitely needs to be more Twilight/Rainbow Dash. Hope there'll be some sort of continuation!
VastaKustutaShips generally aren't my favorite, but this one was really cute. Some past/present tense disagreement at the beginning that kinda bugged the grammar nazi in me, but overall, very well written!
VastaKustutaMaybe a tag system like on the story page would help... Tagging stories depending on whether or not there is any shipping involved. That way people could know what they are getting into when they see the story page!
VastaKustutaJust my 2c :)
This story was quite cute. I really enjoyed the read!
VastaKustutaI wish I could give this 6 out of 5 stars ~
VastaKustutaI really hate to focus on this of all things in what is really an absolutely wonderful story, but I feel like this would benefit from a shift in tense to the more traditional (and thus more easily read) past tense. Especially in the beginning there's a noticeable tendency to flip between present and past, and even when that's not calling attention to it, I still found myself distracted by it being there when it wasn't really assisting in the tone of the narrative.
VastaKustutaAnd please don't let the tone of that paragraph speak for my opinion of this story, because it really was excellent. Although lengthy it was well paced, showed some good balance between the joking and the serious, and was adorable as all get out. I would not want to see a sequel, but only because this concludes on such a high note. Very excellently done.
*waves her hand as the authoress*
VastaKustutaTense issues is something I've always had a problem with, I'm sorry about that folks. If I could afford an editor to clean it up for me, I would.
I loved this story! Reading it felt like watching a whole new episode of the show, and the ponies' actions and personalities fit what I had in mind for them.
VastaKustutaQuality stories should be posted no matter what, shipping or no!
lol, Pinkie Pie was... interesting... in this one. I suppose she could potentially fit that type, although I have to admit it isn't normally how I think of her. :P
VastaKustutaWhy do I like this?
VastaKustuta5/5 gdi.
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaOh, shoot... I really hope I didn't come off sounding like I was complaining. I really wasn't. It's just something that struck me as an area where the story could stand to be a little stronger, and I thought it would be helpful to you as an author if I mentioned it. The hope of helping authors is one of the major reasons I comment on stories here to begin with.
This really is one of the best stories I've seen posted here, and... darn it all, I hope I didn't go all jerk-mode on you. I'm sorry.
Very sweet! I loved Twilight's protest that "that's actually the worst way to learn", it was very in-character. Thanks for writing!
VastaKustutaIt was very cute and well-written, and had an interesting plot for a story as well! Good job
VastaKustutaGreat story.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaYes, well, I didn't want Pinkie to be um... loose. Just I see her as SOOO fun she'd probably want to date a lot of guys cause she's got that much fun to share
@Phoe
Oh dude NOOO.. I'm happy with the comment. I'm just really bad at tenses. I'd correct it if I could, but I would probably screw it up more. I'm the Derpy of grammar and I know it
I LOVE this so much!!!
VastaKustutaLoved it. Like the other posters said, fix the tenses in the first few paragraphs. There's a few minor word choice issues that look more like errors with Spellcheck than anything.
VastaKustutaFantastic story, though.
Lots of grammar mistakes. Don't think I'm being hateful here, but if you want to write REALLY good stories, you need to learn proper English grammar.
VastaKustutaAgain, not being mean. Just being blunt.
Oh one more ting. Why all this lesbianism? Why? I don't get it? They're ponies for one. But adding sexuality and lesbianism to all this? WTF?
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaThe main characters are all female with a primarily male fanbase.
Because it's cute? And what the fans want to read? And Twilight is the best? ;)
VastaKustuta@Daffodil
VastaKustutaA male fanbase has nothing to do with it. The most well developed characters are all female, and on the whole its a very warm and loving cast that invites the imagination to consider deeper sorts of love.
The whole of it is harmless (and occasionally quite poignant instead), and definitely NOT the sole product of male fantasy. Give both the guys and the girls some more credit than that.
@Daffodil
VastaKustutaI am a girl, so that argument is a bit invalid.
Who cares if there's sexuality and lesbianism, it's fanfiction. It can be whatever the author wants it to be. Canon bends to the will of the pen.
VastaKustutaAhhh horse apples. I really shouldn't have read this. Now I feel like the fic I am working on will be crap compared to this.
VastaKustuta*****
@Anonymous
VastaKustutaWhen you're feeling down, always remember this most important writer's mantra:
"What I write today does not need to be my magnum opus. I will write what I can today so that I can raise the bar tomorrow."
Basically, don't worry about comparing yourself to others, or even worrying that what you're doing will fail to live up to some magic standard of Good - there's plenty of time for quality control in editing. Beyond that, you get to be the best by practicing, so take heart and set "match this story's level of awesome" as your new short term goal. And always remember that you get there one step at a time.
(Jeez, I could write letters to Princess Celestia...)
Nor did she think Rarity had so much depth she’d insist on finding an intellegent partner, rather than just a pretty face with lots of jewels and titles.
VastaKustutaAh, just thought to mention, you misspelled intelligent in this sentence.
Just noticed it, and thought you might like to know....
Also, it's just the tiniest bit funny that you picked THAT word to misspell.
My progression through the story is as followes: lol, facepalm, D'awwwwww, lol, D'awwwwwwww, facepalm, WTFamIreading.jpg, D'awwwwwwww. Yah pretty much like that.
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaDon't worry, I can't even spell intelligent XD
Great story, cute shipping is the best shipping.
VastaKustutaA great story, and the buildup to Dash and Twilight's resolution to be with each other makes perfect sense... in my opinion, anyway. One of the best fanfics I've read on here!
VastaKustutaThe grammar is so horrible; it's really distracting from the story. I want to like this, but I can't bring myself to overlook the countless elementary errors.
VastaKustutaThis was a very good Rainbow Dash/Twilight Sparkle fic; one of my favorite in fact. Like everyone else the tense thing is distracting, but I understand. I used to have the same problem with my writing.
VastaKustutaI really like the characterizations in this one. Especially Pinkie Pie, heh, and Applejack's discomfort with but acceptance of the kissing just seems in-character to me. Overall, I'd give this a...
8.5/10 It'd be a straight 9, if there was gonna be more! XD
Masterpiece by the standards of Fanfics. Great penmanship, superb atmopshere, great description of characters and very realiable romance - without any plastic moves or sillines that you can find in other ships. So. Sweat.
VastaKustutathis was absolutely my favorite short fic.
VastaKustutato be honest I didn't even notice the past/present tense mix up until I went back to check. I was to busy enjoying the cuteness and daaawwwwing so damn hard! great fic, I'm totally up for a follow up story!
Fluttershy doesn't really seem like the saucy type, but you absolutely nailed everyone else, great story overall, and I didn't really think the minor grammar issues detracted much, 5/5
VastaKustutaI snorted from laughter when Pinky held up an 8 card. TOO FUNNY!
VastaKustutaHaven't finished yet, just pointing out something I noticed that I don't think anyone else has noted yet: while it hasn't been overly confusing yet, you should try to keep to the rule of having only one character's dialogue occur per paragraph. It makes things easier on the reader. :) It's fun so far!
VastaKustuta[end reached] It was quite engaging throughout, and apart from a few minor typos went without a hitch. Well done, keep practicing, and good luck with your future endeavors.
Shiper no shiping!
VastaKustutaI'll read this tomorrow. But I'm looking forward to it.
"Twilight Dash"
VastaKustutaThat's the most hilarious typo I've seen in a while. Ever since one of my early drafts of With a Spark had "Rainbow Dashed."
Autor on selle kommentaari eemaldanud.
VastaKustutaDisregard that; i suck cock
VastaKustutaCan we stop Posting Shipping fics? Lesbian ponies creep the shit outta me
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustutaI'm sure you were forced to read this at gun point.
Really cute. The world needs more TwiDash, and this is a good start.
VastaKustutaI can't even bring myself to complain about your spelling and switching from past to present tense. This is... I don't know, "deep" sounds flippant. This is shipping, man.
VastaKustutaAnd it kinda seems like you're writing from experience.
The tense keeps changing.
VastaKustutaI enjoyed that a lot.
VastaKustutaLove camp fire. Storys and soaring hearts was great but to short be better if it was longer
VastaKustutaDAAAAWWWHWHHHHHHHH! Going to admit right now, a few tears came to my eyes that was so beautiful! I'm not a brony to usually well up at that kinda thing either. AWESOME WORK! While I would love to see a part 3, I have to admit this is a perfect finishing point, so either way, I'm content! Awesome stuff again my friend, awesome stuff!
VastaKustutaI really wanted to like this story, but I can't ignore the fact more than one pony is speaking and acting in every other paragraph. This can make the story difficult to follow.
VastaKustutaThe story also jumps between past and present tense, which is not good at all.
These are things the Grammar Nazi's will punish via crucifixion. Hopefully the author will fix these issues.
... so I'm the only one who, after seeing Twilight get sad, found the rest of it kind of boring? And super cheesy, even by shipping standards? And kind of sudden?
VastaKustutaNot to mention the tense changes (though I think that only happened once, but hell I am not about to read that again)
I have the strangest wing boner right now.
VastaKustutaUrrrrrgh, present tense! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
VastaKustutaSeriously, it's painfully awkward to read under normal circumstances, which means the reader is THAT much further from immersion (and that much closer to breaking suspension of disbelief). All of which then makes it even more distracting than usual when you accidentally change tenses in the middle of a sentence.
There's so much promise here, but it's bogged down by stylistic choices and general errors.
Remember, there's no shame in getting an editor. They're there to help YOUR work shine, after all.
I HAAAAAAAATE THE IDEA OF TWI BEING A FILLYFOOLER!
VastaKustutaI just do not like it! I'm okay with dash, but I just loathe any fillyfooling with twi, twilight is my waifu and it just goes against my ideal twilight, seriously, is there ANY non-lesbian shipfic of twilight, I would love to know!
I loved Campfire Stories, but this was just weak. The writing and the story were no where near as clever. It felt like the author was just quickly jotting something down on a deadline or something. Campfire Stories was well written and captured the show's humor while making it more adult at the same time. This just feels forced.
VastaKustuta@NinesTempest
VastaKustutaFelt that way too, it was a good story, but it was just too generic.
in the image, Rainbow Dash has the Rarity's horn in her mouth O.O
VastaKustutaOhhhhhhh such a good story.
VastaKustutaI liked it after that. I felt like it kinda did, but subverted it some as well. I think that it could have gone the route of Rainbow Dash coming in, telling Twilight she loves her, and everypony's happy, but it doesn't quite work like that. RBD gets angry, and though I thought Twilight's dialogue after that, as well the bit with Spike, was less than stellar, I think that that segment wasn't bad.
VastaKustutaStill, something about it does seem off.
VastaKustutaSee, THIS is the kind of shipping I'd rather see everywhere.
VastaKustutaNot all up in your face, but in a more gentle way, quite like this.
I like the way you write, pausing every now and then to give the surroundings their details, it was pretty well paced.
That being said, I really enjoyed this. I'm not much into shipping in general, but this was definitely a read I enjoyed.
Confound these ponies they drive me to ship-fics!
VastaKustutaI would really LIKE an editor, I have no idea where to get one.
VastaKustutaIf anyone wants to edit/correct either of these stories, I'd be more than happy to accept the help
Soaring High was a quicky, a short story I dashed off that quite literally came to me in a dream, so I appreciate I should perhaps have made it longer. In retrospect I wish I added several more paragraphs to the denouement
Not my ship, but these are really good stories. Well written and still in-character, despite touching on mature subject matter.
VastaKustutaAs far as editing is concerned, the only advice I would give is to make sure to start a new paragraph for each pony's lines. It can get a bit confusing when you have two or three ponies speaking in the same paragraph, but this is less of an issue in the second story, so you're on the right track.
I happen to agree :) Twilight x Rainbow (Twilbow??? Rainlight??) is something we need more of :3 Haters really are going to hate, and there are quite a few memes for that right now. I support this story fully, and I got my D'aawww meter repaired... just for it to be broken by this story (good thing). I hope to read more :P Some explicit, some not, I wish to read about all their endeavors together :3...
VastaKustutanow to just find some Twilight x Luna shipping as well.... (Lunar Light x3 Epic)
I LOVED this story sooo much!! The description of the Twilight/Rainbow moment had me entranced! it was a beautiful story that i would give a 10/5 if I was able. So far though, ive only read the first one, but it was amazing!
VastaKustutaI really liked the plot of part 2, very mature. My only concern is that there was never any reason for dash to come over at midnight, when there could have very easily been an impetus from her date.
VastaKustutaWhatever, fine dash I'm glad your'e happy. At least you gave stallions a chance :)
Campfire Stories was the story that sold me on Dash/Twilight! It's been so long, now I have to reread it before reading the sequel!
VastaKustutaThanks, Lights!
Hmmm... it definitely feels like you let the characters off easy and cut the story short by having Rainbow Dash rush in to declare her preference for Twilight. I was excited to know what happened in the morning -- when Dash gave her report, and their friends found out she was dating Soarin', as so forth. Stories are far more interesting when events get messy than when they stay neat.
VastaKustutaThis was the first filly-filly ship fanfic I've read, I'll admit...awks, thinking about them like that, but whatever.
VastaKustutaGrammar was disturbing, but the idea was cute. Pinkie Pie made me crack up---I mean, after Cupcakes there isn't anything worse you could do to my image of her, so~
Also: Flutterlove represent. I knew she was a secret hopeless romantic! Knew it, I say!
Well, it's official:
VastaKustutaWhen Pinkie isn't partying, she's "partying" instead, amirite? *wink-wink, nudge-nudge*
I was going to say something different than above, but it would've involved me using a certain "s" word (or "w" word, (don't worry, that's as much as i'll divulge)) in regards to Pinkie's... "escapades with stallions".
I didn't want to potentially offend any Pinkie Pie fans by calling her "those terms" in this post.
Note: if me just putting those above letters down offends anyone anyway, you have my sincerest apologies for that.
That's the best I could do without giving out too much info, while still trying to be discreet about it.
ANYWAY, enough rabling about one little thing:
Great story, I really enjoyed it!
Hmmm.. it seems the author is making revisions to Soaring High. This should probably make this story even greater then it was before.
VastaKustutaRegardless of it's flaws I still loved it.
@Northern Lights
Please, whatever you do with the revision, just keep Dash and Twilight together in the end!
Listen I'm sure a lot of these ponies are offering great advice and everything, but I wanna make it clear.
VastaKustutaI found this to be really enjoyable =) Any problems with the tenses didn't bother me. I rate stories based entirely on enjoyment and entertainment. Even a "terrible" story (I've read a few...) Can get 4 or 5 if I simply crack up laughing or have a simile on my face the entire way through.
I was smiling through this. 5/5 and keep having fun writing. I like where this is going and how it's written.
why cant i read story 2
VastaKustuta@Anonymous
VastaKustuta>Any problems with the tenses didn't bother me. I rate stories based entirely on enjoyment and entertainment.
-By Joves ! A rare specimen of someone ACTUALLY making sense and logic !
...sorry. `_`
Anyways... Yeah, a lot of people have this weird problem when they see more than 4-5 errors in a story (some sort of brain-freeze, or very-low hard-capped level of tolerance or something)
I have read many, MANY... MANY! comments of people that apparently didn't like X or Y story, or simply said they stopped reading after the first paragraph or page, JUST because a few words or a few verbs weren't correctly written...
I mean... I read a story for the STORY, not the grammar of it. Paying attention to the 'Big picture' or the 'small/fine details' OF THE STORY, not if there's a 'i' instead of a 'y' in Gypsyfy or Syzygy (those are real words, apparently, yes).
Only way to really make a story hard or impossible to read, that way, would be to have like 10 errors per sentence... or missing words in each sentences... or by speaking martian.
-----
So... I read first one here, a LONG time ago, and it was very interesting ;)
...and now I must wait for the second one to ''be back'' from ''repairs'', apparently ?
Oh well... Hopefully, the story will not have been half-robotized. (Ohhh... Cyborgs learning Friendship ? Mmh ?)
Hey Northern Lights,
VastaKustutaHope you check your comments regularly! I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely adored Campfire Stories - it was so heartfelt and warm and gorgeous! I found myself melting inside during the whole Dash-Twilight sequence.
Also, I would be happy to edit these two stories if you like. Editing is a hobby of mine that people are happy enough to pay for, so I should hopefully be able to give you some useful (and free!) pointers.
BS
Where's the second story? ;_;
VastaKustutaI love the idea and the character interactions, but this story is held back by technical flaws. Please start a new paragraph whenever someone different is talking! The word used in Applejack's countrified dialect is MITE, not might.
VastaKustutaif you want to read part 2
VastaKustutahttp://www.ponyfictionarchive.net/viewstory.php?sid=78
Manly tears were shed.
VastaKustutathe plot and scene descriptions are pretty good.
VastaKustutaloved the way the conclusion of the story was nicely linked back to the opening description of the twilight sky. it rounds up the entire story nicely and makes it feel complete. it's satisfying to read fics with good conclusions instead of ending abruptly.
i didnt find it cheezy myself but i wouldn't be surprised if others do
I'm usually disturbed with lesbian shippings
VastaKustutaso why the hell do I like this so much?!
Part Two is beautiful, here's the link since it looks like it won't be posted here.
VastaKustutahttp://www.ponyfictionarchive.net/viewstory.php?sid=78
Thank you, Dragon!
VastaKustutaD´aaaaawwwwwww~
VastaKustutaWhat a lovely fic and it´s about TwiDash. <3
And the second chapter was short but so cute~
5/5 from me! Please continue to write such good fics. :D